The Laughing Corpse abvh-2

by Laurell Kaye Hamilton

  Very good question. “My business, not yours.”

  “Anita...”

  “Stop pestering me, Irving. I mean it.”

  “Pestering? I haven’t heard that word since my grandmother.”

  I looked him straight in the eyes and said, carefully, “Leave me the fuck alone. That better?”

  He put his hands out in an I-give-up gesture. “Heh, just trying to do my job.”

  “Well, do it somewhere else.”

  I slid off the bar stool.

  “The word’s out to find you, Anita,” Dave said. “Some of the other vampires might get overzealous.”

  “You mean try to take me?”

  He nodded.

  “I’m armed, cross and all. I’ll be okay.”

  “You want me to walk you to your car?” Dave asked.

  I stared into his brown eyes and smiled. “Thanks, Dave, I’ll remember the offer, but I’m a big girl.” Truth was a lot of the vampires didn’t like Dave feeding information to the enemy. I was the Executioner. If a vampire stepped over the line, they sent for me. There was no such thing as a life sentence for a vamp. Death or nothing. No prison can hold a vampire.

  California tried, but one master vampire got loose. He killed twenty-five people in a one-night bloodbath. He didn’t feed, he just killed. Guess he was pissed about being locked up. They’d put crosses over the doors and on the guards. Crosses don’t work unless you believe in them. And they certainly don’t work once a master vampire has convinced you to take them off.

  I was the vampire’s equivalent of an electric chair. They didn’t like me much. Surprise, surprise.

  “I’ll be with her,” Irving said. He put money down on the bar and stood up. I had the bulky file under my arm. I guess he wasn’t going to let it out of his sight. Great.

  “She’ll probably have to protect you, too,” Dave said.

  Irving started to say something, then thought better of it. He could say, but I’m a lycanthrope, except he didn’t want people to know. He worked very, very hard at appearing human.

  “You sure you’ll be okay?” he asked. One more chance for a vampire guard to my car.

  He was offering to protect me from the Master. Dave hadn’t been dead ten years. He wasn’t good enough. “Nice to know you care, Dave.”

  “Go on, get outta here,” he said.

  “Watch yourself, girl,” Luther said.

  I smiled brightly at both of them, then turned and walked out of the near silent bar. The crowd couldn’t have overheard much, if any, of the conversation, but I could feel them staring at my back. I resisted an urge to whirl around and go “boo.” I bet somebody would have screamed.

  It’s the cross-shaped scar on my arm. Only vampires have them, right? A cross shoved into unclean flesh. Mine had been a branding iron specially made. A now dead master vampire had ordered it. Thought it would be funny. Hardy-har.

  Or maybe it was just Dave. Maybe they hadn’t noticed the scar. Maybe I was overly sensitive. Make friendly with a nice law-abiding vampire, and people get suspicious. Have a few funny scars and people wonder if you’re human. But that’s okay. Suspicion is healthy. It’ll keep you alive.

  Chapter 13

  The sweltering darkness closed around me like a hot, sticky fist. A streetlight formed a puddle of brilliance on the sidewalk, as if the light had melted. All the streetlights are reproductions of turn-of-the-century gas lamps. They rise black and graceful, but not quite authentic. Like a Halloween costume. It looks good but is too comfortable to be real.

  The night sky was like a dark presence over the tall brick buildings, but the streetlights held the darkness back. Like a black tent held up by sticks of light. You had the sense of darkness without the reality.

  I started walking for the parking garage just off First Street. Parking on the Riverfront is damn near impossible. The tourists have only made the problem worse.

  The hard soles of Irving’s dress shoes made a loud, echoing noise on the stone of the street. Real cobblestones. Streets meant for horses, not cars. It made parking a bitch, but it was...charming.

  My Nike Airs made almost no sound on the street. Irving was like a clattery puppy beside me. Most lycanthropes I’ve met have been stealthy. Irving may have been a werewolf but he was more dog. A big, fun-loving dog.

  Couples and small groups passed us, laughing, talking, voices too shrill. They had come to see vampires. Real-live vampires, or was that real-dead vampires? Tourists, all of them. Amateurs. Voyeurs. I had seen more undead than any of them. I’d lay money on that. The fascination escaped me.

  It was full dark now. Dolph and the gang would be awaiting me at Burrell Cemetery. I needed to get over there. What about the file on Gaynor? And what was I going to do with Irving? Sometimes my life is too full.

  A figure detached itself from the darkened buildings. I couldn’t tell if he had been waiting or had simply appeared. Magic. I froze, like a rabbit caught in headlights, staring.

  “What’s wrong, Blake?” Irving asked.

  I handed him the file and he took it, looking puzzled. I wanted my hands free in case I had to go for my gun. It probably wouldn’t come to that. Probably.

  Jean-Claude, Master Vampire of the City, walked towards us. He moved like a dancer, or a cat, a smooth, gliding walk. Energy and grace contained, waiting to explode into violence.

  He wasn’t that tall, maybe five-eleven. His shirt was so white, it gleamed. The shirt was loose, long, full sleeves made tight at the wrist by three-buttoned cuffs. The front of the shirt had only a string to close the throat. He’d left it untied, and the white cloth framed the pale smoothness of his chest. The shirt was tucked into tight black jeans, and only that kept it from billowing around him like a cape.

  His hair was perfectly black, curling softly around his face. The eyes, if you dared to look into them, were a blue so dark it was almost black. Glittering, dark jewels.

  He stopped about six feet in front of us. Close enough to see the dark cross-shaped scar on his chest. It was the only thing that marred the perfection of his body. Or what I’d seen of his body.

  My scar had been a bad joke. His had been some poor sod’s last attempt to stave off death. I wondered if the poor sod had escaped? Would Jean-Claude tell me if I asked? Maybe. But if the answer was no, I didn’t want to hear it.

  “Hello, Jean-Claude,” I said.

  “Greetings, ma petite,” he said. His voice was like fur, rich, soft, vaguely obscene, as if just talking to him was something dirty. Maybe it was.

  “Don’t call me ma petite,” I said.

  He smiled slightly, not a hint of fang. “As you like.” He looked at Irving. Irving looked away, careful not to meet Jean-Claude’s eyes. You never looked directly into a vampire’s eyes. Never. So why was I doing it with impunity. Why indeed?

  “Who is your friend?” The last word was very soft and somehow threatening.

  “This is Irving Griswold. He’s a reporter for the Post-Dispatch. He’s helping me with a little research.”

  “Ah,” he said. He walked around Irving as if he were something for sale, and Jean-Claude wanted to see all of him.

  Irving gave nervous little glances so that he could keep the vampire in view. He glanced at me, widening his eyes. “What’s going on?”

  “What indeed, Irving?” Jean-Claude said.

  “Leave him alone, Jean-Claude.”

  “Why have you not come to see me, my little animator?”

  Little animator wasn’t much of an improvement over ma petite, but I’d take it. “I’ve been busy.”

  The look that crossed his face was almost anger. I didn’t really want him mad at me. “I was going to come see you,” I said.

  “When?”

  “Tomorrow night.”

  “Tonight.” It was not a suggestion.

  “I can’t.”

  “Yes, ma petite, you can.” His voice was like a warm wind in my head.

  “You are so damn demanding,” I said.


  He laughed then. Pleasant and resonating like expensive perfume that lingers in the room after the wearer has gone. His laughter was like that, lingering in the ears like distant music. He had the best voice of any master vampire I’d ever met. Everyone has their talents.

  “You are so exasperating,” he said, the edge of laughter still in his voice. “What am I to do with you?”

  “Leave me alone,” I said. I was utterly serious. It was one of my biggest wishes.

  His face sobered completely, like someone had flipped a switch. On, happy, off, unreadable. “Too many of my followers know you are my human servant, ma petite. Bringing you under control is part of consolidating my power.” He sounded almost regretful. A lot of help that did me.

  “What do you mean, bringing me under control?” My stomach was tight with the beginnings of fear. If Jean-Claude didn’t scare me to death, he was going to give me an ulcer.

  “You are my human servant. You must start acting like one.”

  “I am not your servant.”

  “Yes, ma petite, you are.”

  “Dammit, Jean-Claude, leave me alone.”

  He was suddenly standing next to me. I hadn’t seen him move. He had clouded my mind without me even blinking. I could taste my pulse at the back of my throat. I tried to step back, but one pale slender hand grabbed my right arm, just above the elbow. I shouldn’t have stepped back. I should have gone for my gun. I hoped I would live through the mistake.

  My voice came out flat, normal. At least I’d die brave. “I thought having two of your vampire marks meant you couldn’t control my mind.”

  “I cannot bewitch you with my eyes, and it is harder to cloud your mind, but it can be done.” His fingers encircled my arm. Not hurting. I didn’t try to pull away. I knew better. He could crush my arm without breaking a sweat, or tear it from its socket, or bench press a Toyota. If I couldn’t arm wrestle Tommy, I sure as hell couldn’t match Jean-Claude.

  “He’s the new Master of the City, isn’t he?” It was Irving. I think we had forgotten about him. It would have been better for Irving if we had.

  Jean-Claude’s grip tightened slightly on my right arm. He turned to look at Irving. “You are the reporter that has been asking to interview me.”

  “Yes, I am.” Irving sounded just the tiniest bit nervous, not much, just the hint of tightness in his voice. He looked brave and resolute. Good for Irving.

  “Perhaps after I have spoken with this lovely young woman, I will grant you your interview.”

  “Really?” Astonishment was plain in his voice. He grinned widely at me. “That would be great. I’ll do it any way you want. It...”

  “Silence.” The word hissed and floated. Irving fell quiet as if it were a spell.

  “Irving, are you alright?” Funny me asking. I was the one cheek to jowl with a vampire, but I asked anyway.

  “Yeah,” Irving said. That one word was squeezed small with fear. “I’ve just never felt anything like him.”

  I glanced up at Jean-Claude. “He is sort of one of a kind.”

  Jean-Claude turned his attention back to me. Oh, goody. “Still making jokes, ma petite.”

  I stared up into his beautiful eyes, but they were just eyes. He had given me the power to resist them. “It’s a way to pass the time. What do you want, Jean-Claude?”

  “So brave, even now.”

  “You aren’t going to do me on the street, in front of witnesses. You may be the new Master, but you’re also a businessman. You’re mainstream vampire. It limits what you can do.”

  “Only in public,” he said, so soft that only I heard him.

  “Fine, but we both agree you aren’t going to do violence here and now.” I stared up at him. “So cut the theatrics and tell me what the bloody hell you want.”

  He smiled then, a bare movement of lips, but he released my arm and stepped back. “Just as you will not shoot me down in the street without provocation.”

  I thought I had provocation, but nothing I could explain to the police. “I don’t want to be up on murder charges, that’s true.”

  His smile widened, still not fangs. He did that better than any living vampire I knew. Was living vampire an oxymoron? I wasn’t sure anymore.

  “So, we will not harm each other in public,” he said.

  “Probably not,” I said. “What do you want? I’m late for an appointment.”

  “Are you raising zombies or slaying vampires tonight?”

  “Neither,” I said.

  He looked at me, waiting for me to say more. I didn’t. He shrugged and it was graceful. “You are my human servant, Anita.”

  He’d used my real name, I knew I was in trouble now. “Am not,” I said.

  He gave a long sigh. “You bear two of my marks.”

  “Not by choice,” I said.

  “You would have died if I had not shared my strength with you.”

  “Don’t give me crap about how you saved my life. You forced two marks on me. You didn’t ask or explain. The first mark may have saved my life, great. The second mark saved yours. I didn’t have a choice either time.”

  “Two more marks and you will have immortality. You will not age because I do not age. You will remain human, alive, able to wear your crucifix. Able to enter a church. It does not compromise your soul. Why do you fight me?”

  “How do you know what compromises my soul? You don’t have one anymore. You traded your immortal soul for earthly eternity. But I know that vampires can die, Jean-Claude. What happens when you die? Where do you go? Do you just go poof? No, you go to hell where you belong.”

  “And you think by being my human servant you will go with me?”

  “I don’t know, and I don’t want to find out.”

  “By fighting me, you make me appear weak. I cannot afford that, ma petite. One way or another, we must resolve this.”

  “Just leave me alone.”

  “I cannot. You are my human servant, and you must begin to act like one.”

  “Don’t press me on this, Jean-Claude.”

  “Or what, will you kill me? Could you kill me?”

  I stared at his beautiful face and said, “Yes.”

  “I feel your desire for me, ma petite, as I desire you.”

  I shrugged. What could I say? “It’s just a little lust, Jean-Claude, nothing special.” That was a lie. I knew it even as I said it.

  “No, ma petite, I mean more to you than that.”

  We were attracting a crowd, at a safe distance. “Do you really want to discuss this in the street?”

  He took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. “Very true. You make me forget myself, ma petite.”

  Great. “I really am late, Jean-Claude. The police are waiting for me.”

  “We must finish this discussion, ma petite,” he said.

  I nodded. He was right. I’d been trying to ignore it, and him. Master vampires are not easy to ignore. “Tomorrow night.”

  “Where?” he asked.

  Polite of him not to order me to his lair. I thought about where best to do it. I wanted Charles to go down to the Tenderloin with me. Charles was going to be checking the zombie working conditions at a new comedy club. Good a place as any. “Do you know The Laughing Corpse?”

  He smiled, a glimpse of fang touching his lips. A woman in the small crowd gasped. “Yes.”

  “Meet me there at, say, eleven o’clock.”

  “My pleasure.” The words caressed my skin like a promise. Shit.

  “I will await you in my office, tomorrow night.”

  “Wait a minute. What do you mean, your office?” I had a bad feeling about this.

  His smile widened into a grin, fangs glistening in the streetlights. “Why, I own The Laughing Corpse. I thought you knew.”

  “The hell you did.”

  “I will await you.”

  I’d picked the place. I’d stand by it. Dammit. “Come on, Irving.”

  “No, let the reporter stay. He has not had his interv
iew.”

  “Leave him alone, Jean-Claude, please.”

  “I will give him what he desires, nothing more.”

  I didn’t like the way he said desires. “What are you up to?”

  “Me, ma petite, up to something?” He smiled.

  “Anita, I want to stay,” Irving said.

  I turned to him. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

  “I’m a reporter. I’m doing my job.”

  “Swear to me, swear to me you won’t harm him.”

  “You have my word,” Jean-Claude said.

  “That you will not harm him in any way.”

  “That I will not harm him in any way.” His face was expressionless, as if all the smiles had been illusions. His face had that immobility of the long dead. Lovely to look at, but empty of life as a painting.

  I looked into his blank eyes and shivered. Shit. “Are you sure you want to stay here?”

  Irving nodded. “I want the interview.”

  I shook my head. “You’re a fool.”

  “I’m a good reporter,” he said.

  “You’re still a fool.”

  “I can take care of myself, Anita.”

  We looked at each other for a space of heartbeats. “Fine, have fun. May I have the file?”

  He looked down at his arms as if he had forgotten he was holding it. “Drop it by tomorrow morning or Madeline is going to have a fit.”

  “Sure. No problem.” I tucked the bulky file under my left arm as loosely as I could manage it. It hampered my being able to draw my gun, but life’s imperfect.

  I had information on Gaynor. I had the name of a recent ex-girlfriend. A woman scorned. Maybe she’d talk to me. Maybe she’d help me find clues. Maybe she’d tell me to go to hell. Wouldn’t be the first time.

  Jean-Claude was watching me with his still eyes. I took a deep breath through my nose and let it out through my mouth. Enough for one night. “See you both tomorrow.” I turned and walked away. There was a group of tourists with cameras. One was sort of tentatively raised in my direction.

  “If you snap my picture, I will take the camera away from you and break it.” I smiled while I said it.

  The man lowered his camera uncertainly. “Geez, just a little picture.”