“Let it go; are you a nut-job? How am I supposed tolet it go when you have just told me that you aren’t happy with me anymore?” My heart is racing as Adrian has misunderstood my words. I need to explain and fast.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” I say smoothly, but Adrian isn’t accepting what I am saying. “Alanna, my patience is wearing thin and you need to explain, right now!” He shouts. I jump slightly from the loudness of his tone and he notices my anxiety. “Baby I didn’t mean to shout at you, but you are messing with my head. You know how I feel about your happiness, so why would you toy with my emotions like this?” I slowly climb out of the bed and now I am by Adrian’s side. I reach out to him and I grab his hot, shaking hand. He tries to resist my touch, but I insist on holding him. He wrinkles his nose when I place my hand onto his chest. His eyes have deepened and I can see the sadness behind their glowing green shade. I hate to see him so vulnerable and I need to explain to Adrian how I am feeling. I need to alert him that there is nothing for him to worry about.
“I am not trying to mess with your head. What I wastrying to say was that when we were on our honeymoon, it was just you andme. We had no one to answer to and we did whatever we wanted. Now thingshave changed. We have gotten ourselves into this routine and I feelthat it’s not… us. We are acting safe and boring and that’s not what our relationship is about. We used to be about having fun and being together. Remember, when you took me out on your yacht in Monte Carlo, we had such a blast.Remember, how we swam in the ocean and slept on the beach? We needed no one and nothing but each other and I just feel that right now we are not those people.” Adrian stares at me and I watch as his eyes melt into my words.
“I remember that you were wearing a green dress. That day was the best day of my life even more so than our wedding. I loved that we were alone and that you were finally mine. You’re right, we have become boring and things need to change. Alanna you must promise me that you will never keep your feelings from me. I need to know exactly how you are feeling, all of the time. I won’t stand for you trying to hide things from me and I can’t cope with you being unhappy. Do you understand?” I sigh as I move back from him. If he wants to know how I am feeling, then he needs to know that I know about Zara.
“Adrian I know that you have been in contact with Zara.” He looks surprised by my outburst and my heart is pounding as I await his reaction.
“I see, and how do you know that?” I swallow hard as I choke out my next words. “I checked your phone when you were in the shower. I know that it was a childish thing for me to do, but I needed to know what you were hiding from me.” Adrian considers my words as he runs his hands up my arms. I start to tingle from his touch and then I bring myself to look up into his green eyes. His lips begin to curve and my heart melts from his smile.
“Baby I am not mad at you for checking my phone, but I am annoyed that you didn’t tell me about this sooner. If you would have just asked me, then I would have been happy to fill you in.” His tone has my blood boiling. Why isn’t he trying to explain why he was talking in secret with his ex? Why isn’t he bothered that I checked his phone and why did he keep this information from me in the first place?
“Adrian don’t patronise me. Why have you been keeping Zara a secret and why didn’t you just tell me that she called you? Is there something going on between you two?” Adrian looks furious by my allegation and I begin to feel my face heat up. I wish that I could take back what I said as I know that Adrian would never hurt me in that way. I try to grab hishand, but he pulls it away from me. I scramble to his side and he doesn’t evenlook at me. I feel tears begin to form in my eyes.
“I can’t believe you went there, Alanna. Of all the things that you could have said to me that’s what you chose to say. Do you really believe that I would cheat on you?” I grab him again, but this time he lunges forward and grabs my shoulders firmly in his hands. He begins to gently squeeze them and as I look into his eyes and I can almost see a tear trickle from his right eye. My heart is breaking and my emotions are high and I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I can’t control my moods or my emotions. I hate that I have caused friction between Adrian and I and I hate that I have let my mouth run away with me. I wish that I hadn’t said anything, now.
“I am sorry I didn’t mean it. I know that you would never cheat on me, please forgive me.” I plead. Adrian rolls his eyes as he looks at me. “You drive me crazy, but I love you and of course I forgive you. Alanna you must never accuse me of that again, do you understand.” I wrap my arms around him.
“Yes, I am sorry, I love you Adrian.” I whisper. Adrian gently kisses the top of my head and then he leads me back over to our bed. I climb in and when Adrian positions himself next to me, I huddle tightly into his chest. He begins to stroke my hair as he explains everything to me.
“Zara has been calling me, but I can assure that it’s only because of the child. It took me until yesterday, but she has finally agreed to the DNA test. What you have to understand is that Zara is a very difficult woman. Everything has to be on her terms and she has conditions that I have to, obey.”
“What conditions?” I ask softly. Adrian sighs as he talks. “Before she will allow the DNA test, she wants me to spend the day with her and the boy.” My head is spinning and I feel sick.How can I let him spend the day with her? She will manipulate him into feelingthings for her and I can’t allow this.
“Adrian you know how hard that’s going to be for me. I can’t think of you with her.” “Alanna, you can come with me and you can see for self that I feel nothing for her. Will you do that for me?” I smile at him.
“I will hate seeing her smug face again, but I know how important this is. So yes of course I will go with you.” Adrian kisses the top of my head and I fall asleep soon after with a vision of his face running through my head.
Eight
I wake up in the morning with a massive headache. I open my eyes and they don’t adjust to the sunlight that beams into the room. I slowly start to pull back the covers as I make my way out of the bed. I rise from its edge and my head is spinning. I feel dizzy and my eyes are still not adjusting to the light. I slowly walk across the bedroom floor, until I reach the bathroom. I switch on the light and my head is now pounding from its brightness. I close my eyes gently and when I open them, I can see little black spots forming in my vision. I take a deep breath as I begin to splash some cold water onto my face. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I am shocked at what I see. My eyes are heavy and they have black circles underneath. My lips are very dry and my skin is ultra-pale. My eyes finally adjust to the light, but my blurriness is now replaced by nausea. I can feel my stomach turning and I now I am going to be sick. I stumble over to the toilet and as soon as I reach down to its level, I am being sick. My head is bursting as I vomit more. I feel as if I have a massive hangover, but I haven’t been drinking. Maybe I have food poisoning or something either way -I am feeling like crap.
I pick myself up off the floor and I make my way back to the sink. I carefully wipe away the beads of sweat from my forehead as Adrian bursts into the room.
“Are you okay?” He asks as he rushes behind me. I turn to face him as he towers above me. I am actually starting to feel a little better now, so I smile at him to reassure him that I am okay.
“Yes, I am fine.” I quickly brush my teeth and then I make my way back into the room to get dressed. I throw on my blue skinny jeans and a black button up sweater. I scrunch my hair into a high bun and then I make my way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Adrian is on his phone as he sits at the breakfast bar I smile at him and then I march over to him and I begin to make his breakfast. I pull the frying pan out from the cupboard and then I dart over to the fridge and take out some eggs.
“Baby, you don’t have to do that I can pick something up on the way to work.” Adrian says as I begin to the crack the eggs into the pan. I shake my head as I don’t pay any attention to his words. Once Ad
rian has eaten his breakfast consisting of scrambled eggs on toast – his favourite he ushers over to me and grabs me firmly. “Are you sure that you are feeling okay? You never touched your breakfast.” I smile at him.
“I still feel a little fragile from throwing–up, but don’t worry I am fine. Now you better go or you will be late for work.” “I am the boss so I am never late.” He smirks at his words as he pulls me close for a kiss. I grip him firmly as he catches my face in his hands. I look at him and I still cannot believe the drama which unfolded last night. One minute we were kissing and next we were ripping each other’s headsoff. Last night was crazy and I hope that there are no more restless nights like that to come. “Even so you had better get going,” I insist. Adrian narrows his eyes at me and then he kisses me again. I walk him over to the door and I kiss him gently on his cheek. He smirks at me and then he gives me my orders for the day.
“Do you remember what I said to you about your safety?” I roll my eyes at him as I feel annoyed that he is still rambling on about me being in danger. I really feel that I am not in any type of danger as I haven’t had any more threats since that last one before the wedding. I have had no surprise packages or flowers with hidden messages. I haven’t been followed or chased in anyway and Adrian has even agreed with me when I told him that I didn’t need security any more. I feel that Adrian has grown and that he has learned that I am not in constant danger and there is no need for me to be guarded twenty-four hours a day. I just don’t need to be babied all the time and I am so glad that he has made progression with his obsession for my safety. He was reluctant at first, but he soon realised that we had made the right decision. However, he still has little things that I need to obey.
“Okay, so you know to drive with doors locked at all times and that you mustn’t stop off anywhere strange like, new stores or deserted coffee shops, right?” I frown at him.
“Yes, I know, now please leave.”
“If I didn’t know any better I would say that you are trying to get rid of me!” Adrian says smugly.
“I am not trying to get rid of you, but I am going to be late if you don’t go.” “Okay I am going, but remember what I said and please baby, drive safely.” I roll my eyes again at him as I lunge into his arms.I kiss him firmly and then I pull back from him. He smiles at me and then he gently kisses my nose. I watch him get into his black Range Rover and I stare after him until he is out of sight. I sigh when he is gone and I make my way back into our empty, glamorous house.
When I arrive at the orphanage an hour or so later, I walk into the building and I am surprised when I see that all of the children are busy tidying up. I walk through the crowed hallway and into the large lounge area. When I walk in the place is unrecognisable. All of the toys, books and games are all packed away neatly in storage boxes and all of the chairs are smartly placed on top of the tables. I walk further into the room and I can see a few of the smaller children lying on the sofa. I quickly walk over and greet them, but they take no notice of me. I start to wonder what’s wrong as I make my way into the dining room. As I enter, Janet embraces me with a kiss on each cheek and then she ushers me to one side.
“Sweetie,” she says as she grips onto my hand. “Today is visiting day,” I scowl at her as I don’t know what she means, who is visiting?
“I am afraid I am clueless, you need to explain, better.” Janet smiles at me and then her face straightens.
“Visiting day is just a term we use for an open day. We are expecting a few families in today, you know that want to adopt.” My heart sinks.
“Oh I see,” “We need to be extra sensitive today as the children have waited for this day for some time. They put very high hopes on days like these, especially the younger children, they truly believe that their new mum’s and dads are going to come and find them. It’s a very tough thing to witness are you sure that you are up to it, Alanna?” I glance around the room at the faces of the orphans, they are all smartly dressed and they have superior smiles on their little faces. As I look at them I can tell that they are resting all of their hopes on today going well. I just wish that it does. I turn my attention back to Janet.
“I can handle it,” I confess. Janet smiles at me as she leads me over to the children. I embrace a few of them with hugs and then I ask them how they are feeling.
“So how is everyone today?” I ask as I sit down onto the floor next to a few of the older girls. Sammy is ten; she has black hair and dark eyes. Holly is eleven, she has blonde hair and blue eyes and then there’s Emily who is thirteen, has bright red hair and brown eyes and she has a majorcrush on Adrian. I smile at the girls as they read and share stories from theirmagazines.
“We are fine, oh Alanna I was going to ask you if you could style my hair for me?” Emily asks with a wide grin. I reach out for her hand as I give her my answer.
“Let’s go and style that bright red hair!” She laughs and then she drags me into her room. I have never been inside the children’s rooms before and I am surprised at how nice this one is. She shares her room with Sammy and Holly and it is a typical teenager’s room. There is make-up everywhere and posters of One Direction cover the pink walls. There is a single bed at one side and then at the other side are bunk-beds. The bed covers are pink to match in with their furniture and they have a large TV mounted on the wall. I never expected the bedroom to be so nice, but what was I expecting? A little mattress on the floor with no heating and no covers, I am realising that my thoughts of how an orphanage is - was terribly wrong.
Emily takes a seat at the dressing table and I position myself behind her as I begin to play with her hair.
“So what are we doing with you hair?” I ask as I run my fingers through her mass of thick red hair. “I was thinking something like yours?” I smile at her as I am flattered that she wants her hair like mine. Although my hair is a mess today and I can’t imagine anyone wanting to style their hair like mines. I smile at her again as I plug in the curling iron. I wait for it to heat up and then I part Emily’s hair into sections, so that it will be easier for me to style. I twine her hair onto my finger and then I slowly and carefully wrap her hair along the hot wand. I wait for it to curl and then I release a long red curl. Emily’s face lights up as I begin to curl the rest of her hair.
“Is Mr Black working today?” Emily asks and I can see her plump cheeks blush. I gently laugh at her words and then I fill her in onAdrian.
“Yes, he is working today. Do you like Adrian?” She blushes again and I cannot resist the urge to quiz this little girl on Adrian.
“Yes he is very… nice, I like him.” She says quickly. I smile at her as I begin to curl another section of her hair.
“He is very handsome, right?” Emily blushes again. “Yes he is. Miss Alanna, can you please tell me about your wedding.” I gently laugh as I haven’t thought about that day in forever.
“We got married in September and it was the happiest day of my life. We had all our friends and family there and it was an amazing day.”
“It sounds wonderful. What was your dress like?” I laugh again at her. “My dress was Vera Wang. It was long, tight and it had a mermaid tail. The fabric was lace and my straps where jewel incrusted. It was a lovely dress; it would look good on you.” Emily sighs.
“Tell me more!” She urges. “Our reception was stunning, everything was black and white. We had amazing food and a wonderful five-foot cake. We had silk chairs and goodie bags for all our guests. We danced all night to Michael Bublé and we kissed in the moonlight which shone through the marquee. That night was the most spectacular night of my life. Adrian and I went through – some horrendous stuff, but that night we were finally united forever. I married my prince charming.” My mind flashes back to that night as I lightly mist Emily’s hair with some Elnette hairspray. I can still remember the taste of our wedding cake and I can still hear the soft music which played all night long. I close my eyes and I am back there in that moment, me in my wedding dress and Adrian in
his tux with his hair slicked back. His eyes were glowing and I couldn’t stop staring at him. He reached out for my hand as he lead me onto the dance floor and I can remember the first time that I saw his wedding band on his long thin finger. My heart stopped as that moment will live with me forever.
“Wow, I want my wedding to be exactly like that.” Ismile at her. “Miss Alanna, how do you know if a boy is the one for you?”
“How old are you again?” I say sarcastically. She rolls her eyes at me. “I am thirteen, old enough.” She says firmly. I shake my head at her as I feel that she is a little young to be thinking about boys. I remember when I was thirteen - I think that I was still playing with dolls.
“Well I guess that you know someone is the one when you can’t imagine yourself without them. You live and breathe for that one guy and when you picture your life, you can’t guess what’s going to happen or what the future might be, but if you have him then you know that everything will be fine.”
“But how do you know that you will feel the same way at thirty as you do at thirteen?” I am starting to worry that Emily is asking me this because she has boyfriend? I feel that it’s my responsibility to find out.
“No one knows how they really feel at thirteen and your feelings and opinions change as you get older. It’s such a young age to be thinking about being with one person forever. At thirteen you haven’t lived, you need to grow up and then find your one true love.” Emily sighs and I can tell that something is bothering her. I really want her to confide in me and I want to help her understand how she is feeling. I wish that she would open up and tell me her feelings.
“Miss Alanna, I have met this boy and he is really special to me. I feel like I love him, but he is older than me so I am not sure how to behave around him. He has older friends and they talk about stuff that I have never heard of before. I really like him, but I don’t know if I fit in with his life.” Emily’s confession has me worried and I don’t like the sound of her with an older boy.
Three Thousand Miles - Forever, (book #3 of Three Thousand Miles, Series) Page 12
