“Emily where did you meet this boy?” I ask as I switch off the curling wand. I place it onto the heatproof mat that lies on the dressing table and then I take a seat on Emily’s bed. She plays with her hair and then she turns to face me. Her eyes are darting through me as she speaks.
“I met him at the movies,” she gushes. Emily is just a child and I don’t want her to get hurt, but I know how hard it is to love someone who might be wrong for you. When Adrian and I first got together, I was constantly urged by my friends to stay away from him. They saw him as older, sexy, danger guy and they felt that I was doomed to have my heart broken by him. But my love for him was too strong and I wasn’t going to stay away from Adrian –no matter how hard my family and friends pushed me to. I only wanted him and I would stop at nothing to get what I wanted, I strongly believe that no one could have kept me from him and I am glad that no one did. Adrian is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I feel blessed every day that I am with him. He is my world and if this boy is Emily’s world, then no one can keep her from him. But now that I work here and now that I have become attached to Emily, I don’t feel that she should be with this boy, so I need to give her advice and I need to find out exactly what is going on.
“You said that he is older, how much older?”
“He is sixteen.” A sixteen year old boy is much more grown up than a thirteen year old girl – I don’t like the sound of this. “That is quite an age gap doesn’t it bother you?” I ask as I lock my eyes on hers. I am trying to be subtle with my questions as I don’t want her to get annoyed with me and shut me out. I am glad that she is confiding in me –at least she has one person giving her advice.
“Mr Black is three years older than you, doesn’t it bother you?” I am little stunned by Emily’s words. I begin to feel uneasy as I try to maintain my calmness.
“It’s not really the same for me as it is for you. I am twenty-three and you’re thirteen you are still a child and you need to focus on being one. You have your whole life to worry about boys and all of the grown up stuff. Being a teenager is the best thing in the world and you should cherish every day because once your childhood is gone, you can never get it back.” Emily lunges off the seat and now she is griped onto me. I tightly hug her as I beam from ear to ear. Emily has found comfort in talking to me and I can’t describe how it’s making me feel. I feel as if I have helped her in so many ways and I am glad that she has seemed to listen to my advice.
“You’re right Miss Alanna; I do have plenty of timefor boys. I don’t need to be spending my days cooped up in my room pining for him. I need to be free to live my life and love will find me when it’s time.”
The visitors are slowly starting to pile in through the doors and as they make their way into the lounge area to meet the children, my heart is pounding. Today is such an important day for them and I really hope that everything goes well. If just one of the children gets the chance to have a proper family, then that makes everything worthwhile.
Janet ushers me into the kitchen as she wants me to help her to make some more refreshments for the guests. She orders me to make some sandwiches and to boil some more tea. So with her orders, I begin to make up a batch of cheese and ham sandwiches and a large teapot of earl grey. I cut the sandwiches into quarters and I place them onto the large silver tray, that Janet has now burst in through the door carrying. I hand her the tea and sandwiches and she quickly rushes out of the door thanking me as she does.
“Thanks sweetie, you are an angel.” I laugh at her words and then I begin to clear up. As I wash some of the dishes I feel a soft tap on my lower back. I turn around and I see Olivia standing behind me. I immediately stop what I am doing and I kneel down to her level. She is very cute today in her pink and white dress. Her blonde hair is in a long plait and her huge brown eyes are sparkling. I feel so drawn to her as I take in her looks. I watch as she nervously sucks on her thumb. I begin to wonder if something is bothering her, so I quickly ask my little friend if she is okay.
“How are you, sweetie?” She smiles at me and then her smile fades. My heart is pounding as I look at the little girl. I want to wrap her up in my arms and never let her go. I want to care for her and I want to protect her from all that is bad in the world. I reach out and take her little, plump hand in mine. She smiles at me as she begins to move closer. She wraps her arms around my neck and she grips onto me as if there is no tomorrow.
“I am scared,” she confesses. “Oh sweetie why are you scared,” I say as I gently pat her back. She pulls back from my neck and now she is looking directly into my eyes. I stare at her and I can feel her pain. She is scared of rejection.
“I am scared of those people. I don’t know who they are.” “Olivia those people are here to meet you and I can assure you that they won’t hurt you. They are just like me, they want to help you and you never know one of those women out there could be your new mommy, don’t you want that?” Olivia considers her options before she answers.
“I want a mummy, but I want it to be you, Miss Alanna.” Olivia smiles at me as her words pass from her full, rosy lips. I can’t believe that she has said this to me. I am so flattered that I can’t breathe and I can’t help but think what if I was her mommy?
“Sweetie,” I gush as I hold her tighter. “I wish that I could be your mommy.” As the day lingers on and it’s nearing home time, I am glad as I feel exhausted. I quickly walk along the wide, bright hallway until I reach the lounge. I walk in and I say my goodbyes to every one of the children. Emily and Olivia are especially sad to see that it’s time for me to go, but they know that I will be back on Monday. I give Emily a large hug and a sloppy kiss on her cheek and then I lift Olivia into my arms as I say my goodbyes.
“Now sweetie it’s time for me to go, but you know that I will see you on Monday, right?” Olivia smiles at me and then she grips her little hands around my neck as she kisses my cheek. Olivia sighs as she breaks free from my arms.
“I know Miss Alanna,” I march out of the room and along the hallway once again. I step out into the bitter cold of London as I make my way to my car. As I drive through the streets of London, I am suddenly caught up in the rush-hour traffic – great. Now I have to sit in a long line of cars as I almost pass out from exhaustion. I push on the radio as I don’t want to drift off into a deep sleep as I wait for the cars to move. I turn the radio up as I love the song that is playing. I slowly and tiredly begin to sing along with the words.
“I knew that we become one right away – oh right away. At first sight I felt the energy of sun rays, I saw the life inside your- eyes. So shine bright, tonight, you and I, we’re beautiful like diamonds in the sky.”
The cars begin to slowly pull away in front of me and I become alert as I push my foot down gently onto the gas pedal. The music is still playing and I am still singing, however I cut short my song as my phone begins to ring through the Bluetooth. I quickly answer the call and I am surprised when it’s Michael’s voice that I hear.
“Hello Alanna… its Michael.” He says in a slow, quiet voice. He doesn’t seem like himself and I wonder if there is anything wrong. “Hey Michael… how are you?”
“I am okay, actually Alanna I called you because I need to see you.” Michael hasn’t called me in so long and I have only seen him a handful of times since the wedding. Ever since Adrian and I got married Michael has kept his distance and I have to admit that it is a little hard to deal with. Michael is someone who I hold dear to my heart, so it does pain me to know that we aren’t as close as we once were. I consider my options and then I agree to see Michael.
“Okay, when do you want to meet?” “Could you meet me tomorrow at my house? You know where it is, right?” I try to picture Michael’s house and I have a faint idea of how to get there. Adrian and I visited Michael and Emma there a few months back and I am sure that once I am in the area, I will remember which house is his. I smile a little as I reply.
“I will find you, what time do you want me
there?”
“After ten, is that okay?” I take in Michael’s voice and he seems a little shaken. I have to ask him again if everything is okay. “I will be there. Listen Michael, is everything, okay?” He takes a moment to reply and when he does his words alert me into thinking that not everything is as it seems.
“I just need to see you, Alanna will you promise me that you will be there?” “Of course,”
“I am counting on you, oh and Alanna; I feel that it would be best if you didn’t tell Adrian that you are meeting with me.”
“Why?” “You know what he is like, he doesn’t like when weare alone together.” Michael’s choice of words has me worried and I am confused as to why he would want me to lie to Adrian. I thought that everything was going well between them and I was under the impression that Michael had moved on from his jealousy. Now hearing his words has me second guessing my thoughts. I take a deep breath as I reply to his words.
“I am sure that he wouldn’t mind, but if you feel that it’s for the best then I won’t tell him.” Michael gently laughs as I agree with him and then he bids me goodbye.
I drive in silence the entire way home and when I finally reach the door of the house, I am starving. I quickly rush into the cold hallway and I immediately rush into the kitchen. I switch on the light as I begin to rummage through the refrigerator. I can’t decide if I want something sweet or if I want a savoury dish so I decide to have both. I begin to fry some chicken fillets as I scoff down an entire piece of chocolate cake. I have never felt so hungry in my life and my lips are watering at the sight of the chicken. Once it’s fried, I take it from the pan and I place onto my plate along with salad and bread. I inhale the entire meal, but I am still not satisfied so I make my way back over the fridge. I scan the contents and I decide to have another piece of cake. I quickly finish off the cake and then I wash it down by drinking a can of coke. I can’t believe that I have eaten so much food, what is wrong with me?
Adrian comes home an hour or so later and I immediately greet him with a kiss as he walks into the lounge. He is dressed in a dark blue suit today and his hair is messy – as usual. I wrap my arms around him as I inhale the scent from his cologne. Adrian slides his hand down my back as he grips me tighter. I kiss him and then his lips move onto my neck as he whispers to me.
“Baby I have missed you so much,” I gently run my fingers through his hair as he kisses me again. I finally manage to break free from him after a few moments of kissing.
“Are you hungry?” I ask as I straighten out my sweater. Adrian smiles at me as he takes off his suit jacket. I stare at him as I hope that he remembers not to leave his clothes lying around. Adrian must have read my thoughts, as he clutches his jacket. He walks out into the hallwayand he opens the coat closet. He throws his jacket in and then he makes his way back into the lounge.
“I have already eaten,” he says firmly. I smile at him as I am glad that I have been relieved of cooking duty. Adrian glides over to the sofa and he gently flops down. I soon follow him and I curl up into his arms. Adrian touches my hair as he begins to ask me about my day.
“How was your day, did you have a good time at the orphanage?” I beam as I reply.
“I had an amazing time, but today was hard on the children.” “Why?” I begin to explain to Adrian that today was an open day and to my dread, Adrian knows all about them. He has told me about his experiences of open days and he has shared with me that he knows exactly how the children are feeling. He said that he used to cry himself to sleep when his father didn’t come and collect him. He would stay in his room for days after the open day – just thinking of what could have been. Adrian needed to be rescued and luckily for him, Mr Jenkins did exactly that. He took Adrian into his life and made him his son; I can’t help but wonder what would have happened to him if he hadn’t. As hard as it is for me to think about Adrian not being in my life, I know that if Mr Jenkins hadn’t of adopted Adrian then he and I would have never met. Adrian wouldn’t have been at the event that night and I would never have seen him. I can’t begin to describe how crippling that feeling is. I can’t bear to think of my life without him and I would rather die than be apart from him.
“I hate to think of you being upset. It must be hard for you to think back on those days.” Adrian sinks further into the cushions of the sofa as he takes in my words. His full - lips are gently parted as he begins to tell me about his childhood.
“Those days were the worst of my life even more so than my time with Alice. I would spend my days getting into fights and causing more trouble than I could ever get out of. The governess of the foster home which I stayed in was tortured by me. I never gave her a minute’s peace and I always needed attention that she couldn’t give to me. I wanted for her to treat me in a different way to the other boys. I wanted her to depend on me and I wanted all of her. When I look back on my actions I realise that I just wanted to be loved.” I lay my head onto Adrian’s chest as I takein his confession. I love that he is being so honest with me and I feel guilty that I am keeping my meeting with Michael a secret from him. I know that Michael has told me not to tell him, but Adrian is my husband and I am not going to lie to him – not for anyone. I clear my throat as I prepare to tell Adrian about my plans, but he begins to talk again and I don’t have the heart to cut him off. So I listen to his deep English voice.
“Alanna, my start in life wasn’t the best and I will be doomed if I am to let that happen to William.” I stare into his eyes as he begins to stroke my chin. I want him to tell me how he is feeling about possibly having – a son.
“Adrian, I know that you try to be strong but this is me and you can tell me anything.” Adrian exhales as he briefly shakes his head.
“I don’t know if the boy is my child, but if he is you know that I will try my best to be his father.” “, If William is your son then of course you will be in his life. That’s not even an option to discuss. I need you to believe me when I say that I will never stand in your way. If you want to spend every waking moment of your life with him, then that would be okay with me. I see William as just another part of you to love.” My words are ringing in the air and Adrian can’t contain his smile as he leans in towards me. He grabs my face in his large, strong hands and he pulls me in. Our bodies are literally an inch apart as he stares deep into my brown eyes.
“You are amazing, you know that?” I gently roll my eyes and Adrian lightly taps me on my forehead. “Don’t roll your eyes at me when I am trying to be romantic.” I gently laugh and then I can’t resist him any longer. I lunge forward and kiss him, gently at first and then firmer as our passion heats up. I become dizzy from his touch and I gently push him away as I need to tell him about my meeting with Michael.
“Stop,” I say smoothly. Adrian instantly stops kissing my neck as he stares at me, blankly.
“What’s wrong?” He snaps.
“It’s Michael,” I confess. Adrian shakes his head at me and I can tell that he isn’t happy by my choice of words. “I am trying to kiss you and you’re thinking about Michael!”
“No, no, it’s not like that.” I try to reassure Adrian as I move further back from him. I lean against the arm of the sofa as I try to explain to Adrian why I was thinking of Michael. “He called me tonight when I was driving home. He wants me to meet with him tomorrow – at his house.” Adrian leans his back against the sofa as he runs his long thing fingers through his hair. He turns to look at me and he smirks.
“Alanna, I am afraid that you will have to cancel your plans with Michael.” “Why?” I question. Adrian takes a deep breath as he begins to inform me that we have plans tomorrow. “Because tomorrow is when we have to meet with Zara and the… boy,” My heart races as I consider Adrian’s words. I did promise that I would go with him to meet with Zara and William and I can’t go back on my word. Although it will break my heart to cancel my plans with Michael, but I know that I need to support Adrian more than I need to see Michael.
“Okay, I w
ill just call and cancel my plans with Michael. Ah, he is going to be crushed he sounded bewildered on the phone.” I slowly get up from sofa and I feel dizzy as I walk over to my bag that is lying on the side table beside the doorway. I rummage through the junk of my bag, until I find my white BlackBerry. I quickly scan my contacts until I reach Michael’s name. I hover my finger over the send button, but I pause as Adrian glides over to me.
“Baby, don’t tell Michael about our plans to meet with Zara.” I frown at him. I don’t know what’s with all the secrecy? Michael was the same tonight, he didn’t want me to tell Adrian that I was meeting with him and now Adrian doesn’t want Michael to know that we are spending time with Zara and William. I am beginning to think that something isgoing on that I am not aware of.
“Why don’t you want me to tell him?” Adrian exhales very deeply at my words and I know that he is annoyed with my questions. “Alanna, why don’t you ever just do as I say?” I scowl at him.
“That’s all I do. Now tell me why I can’t tell Michael about our plans?” Adrian reaches out to my hand and he takes my phone into his grasp. I frown at him again. “Adrian!” I snap.
“Alanna!” He snaps back at me. I reach out and I try to grab my phone from his hand, but he moves to swiftly and I miss. I am beginning to lose my patience with him.
“There is something going on that you aren’t telling me, isn’t there?” Adrian’s eyes quickly dart from side to side and I have come to realise that he does that when he is nervous. I move closer to him. “Tell me,” I insist. Adrian rolls his eyes at my persistence, but then he leads me back over to the sofa. He sits me down whilst he kneels on the floor. His eyes have become deep and serious as he holds onto my hand. I can feel my body temperature rising and my dizziness is returning – I must remember to make a doctor’s appointment. I breathe rapidly as I await his reply.
Three Thousand Miles - Forever, (book #3 of Three Thousand Miles, Series) Page 13
