Unbearable (the TORQUED trilogy Book 2)

by Shey Stahl

  Mom nudges Red’s shoulder, tears flowing endlessly. “Red, do something.”

  He looks back at Mom with disbelief. “What the hell am I supposed to do?”

  Seeing him come apart like this, I feel like I should know how to reach out to him, but there’s no stopping him. The moment comes when he finally notices Nova, crying against Lenny’s chest as she ushers her inside the house. She heard what he was saying.

  He snorts, his head dropping between his shoulders, shaking remorsefully. “Most of all, fuck me.” He knows what he did. He knows Nova witnessed him at his worst and it’s something he can never take back.

  As he’s walking away, Sophie grabs his hand. “Rawley, please don’t do this,” she begs. He lets her hold his hand for a second, his chin trembles and he swallows. Their heartache can be seen between them. If they could change this, they would but neither can.

  Slowly, he lets go of her hand, shoulders shaking, head bent forward, his breathing uneven and broken. “Sophie, this is what I do. I fuck up and I leave.” He wipes his eyes with the bend of his elbow. “You should know this by now.”

  Pushing past her, his shoulder bumps into hers as he storms out the back gate to where I assume he’s parked. Beck follows.

  I want to go after him, maybe talk some sense into him but Tyler grabs my hand. “Raven… don’t.” I’m torn when Tyler pulls me in. On one hand, I want to check on Rawley. On the other, I know what Tyler’s about to say.

  Tyler’s eyes fall to mine, to my lips, then back to my eyes. “You need to take your own advice here. All your life you’ve taken on his mistakes for him. You need to let him handle this one on his own.”

  As hard as that is to hear, he’s absolutely right. I can’t fix Rawley. He’s going to do, and be, who he wants. He’ll call Sophie tomorrow. I know he will. He’ll promise and swear and warn, but in the end, it’s up to her to stop what’s happening and put an end to it. It’s up to him to change.

  TYLER AND I go back to his place after the barbeque and it’s nearing three in the morning but neither of us can sleep. Once in his room, we lie staring at one another, the lingering smells of campfire and fireworks on our skin.

  “Do you really think Rawley was the one who slept with Berkley?” I don’t know why I ask him, but I want to know if that’s what he thinks. The Rawley I know, my sweet vulnerable but brooding brother, would never do that.

  “No,” he admits. “I doubt it was him. Rawley may be going through some shit, but he’s not immoral when it comes to family. I may not like the way he’s acting, but six months ago, he could have said the same about me, and he wouldn’t have been wrong.”

  “True.”

  On his back now, he stares at the ceiling. “I know you said you won’t be staying in Eugene this year but….” I smile when he pauses because I know what he’s going to ask. I told him that when I came home for the summer in May. It’s only an hour drive and not unmanageable so I’ve decided to live at home this year and save some money on housing. “Will you move in with me?” He turns his head to me when the last word is spoken, waiting on my answer.

  At first, I’m stunned by his question, but then again, maybe I’m not. The time we’ve spent together since his accident has truly given us the strong foundation we so desperately needed and it’s also brought us together as one.

  “Does D want V living with you permanently? Once you ask her to move in….” I let out a slow whistled breath. Moving my leg, I slide it up over his. “She’s here for good.”

  “It’s want I want more than anything.” His left hand grasps my thigh as he rolls to face me. “I want to wake up every morning so D can be with V.”

  “This conversation is getting weird.” I sit up in the bed wanting to make sure he’s being serious. “Do you really want me to move in with you, Tyler?”

  He doesn’t move from his place, his hands moving behind his head as if he’s completely relaxed. “You practically live here already. It’d make sense.”

  My stare goes to his tattoos, his chest, and then his eyes. He’s right, it would. But I can’t just move in because it makes sense. I want to move in because he sees our relationship is heading in the right direction and feels we’re ready for the next step.

  “Are you sure we’re ready for this? It’s a big step. Are you scared?”

  His face grows serious. “I’m scared of not being enough for someone like you.”

  I’m not sure where he’s going with this. “Like me?”

  “You’re just… you’re you, if that makes sense. You’re strong and independent. You don’t need a man in your life to be okay. That makes me have to be so much more to keep you.” His eyes dance around my face gauging my reaction.

  I don’t say anything because a year ago I wouldn’t have been able to agree with him. But in the time we’ve been slowly working on building our relationship, I’ve also been spending time strengthening my self-worth. Never again will I allow Tyler or anyone else to make me feel less than who I am. And never again will I allow myself to accept less than I deserve. So yeah, I know I don’t need him, but I want him and that’s all that matters to me. And I know he wants me too, but I can also tell he senses my apprehensions in all this. I want this to be what he wants verses what we should or need to do.

  “Raven.” He sighs as his fingertips gently touch my cheek to make me look at him. He doesn’t say anything at first, blinking slowly, those thick dark lashes that seem like curtains to the beautiful depth his eyes hold. “You and I both know I wouldn’t take something like this lightly. You know what I’ve been through and you know what I’m afraid of. I’m asking you because I see myself spending the rest of my life with you, and I want you here with me.”

  “I’ll move in,” I tell him immediately, afraid if I don’t, I’ll burst into tears before I get the words out.

  He pushes me onto my back, hovering above me. His skin’s hot against mine. His hands are forceful, taking over, discovering and commanding my attention just as they always do. Just like he always does.

  Looking over my body, he glances from my face, down, all the way to between my thighs. Holding my wrists captive above my head, he then releases my right wrist, using his free hand to push down on my hip, gripping under my knee and touching my face with the other.

  He whispers in my ear, “I love you.” And then lifts his face to mine, his breath hitting my lips. His mouth dances across my jaw stopping in their path to kiss my lips and forehead, his nose delicately nudging against mine.

  When he finally closes the distance, peppering me with gentle kisses, a sigh of contentment falls from me.

  My hands soon find their place on his chest. “I love you,” I tell him over and over again.

  There are always going to be what ifs in my life. For a person like me, a person who always demanded order and believes every problem has a neat and reasonable solution, the what ifs could be considered unbearable. Lying here, in Tyler’s bed, having him touch me and love me in a way only he can, I realize while I might only be twenty, soon to be twenty-one, I know what I want in life and that’s Tyler Hemming. The rest will all work out because the strength and honesty in our love, it’s undeniable.

  Maybe I didn’t need to be in control of everything. Maybe walking into Murphy’s that night was me being in the right place at the right time as Tyler once said.

  Writing acknowledgments are always hard for me. Thank you to my family who supports me through it all between the long nights and the sleepless ones where I stay up all night worrying about these stories.

  I struggled a lot with Unbearable because I didn’t want people to hate Raven, but I also wanted them to understand she’s nineteen/twenty when all this is happening and very much naïve to a lot of things. Especially love. So if you were frustrated with her a time or two, so was I! You don’t know how many times I thought she was being annoying, but I still didn’t change her character. I had to write her the way I did though because it was true to her personality and
her.

  Tyler, well, I fell for him immediately because what’s not to love about him. I write characters the way I see them and trying to persuade me into writing them another way is pretty much impossible. Ask my beta readers. The thing is, these are real instances to me when that’s exactly how people act. I want real emotions and faults and sometimes people are unbearably stubborn and frustrating until they finally see the hold ups.

  Thank you to Lauren for making this book what it should be. Couldn’t have done it without you. So thankful for the time I was able to spend with you this last month.

  Janet, I love you. Thank you for everything you do for me and being there when I need a shoulder to cry on. I honestly believe we were meant to find each other in this life and be family. Can’t wait to see you again soon.

  Barb, thank you so much for proofreading this book in one day! Love you girl! And thanks for driving me around in a hurricane so I could find a strapless bra for my date, lol. You’re the best.

  Jill, Marisa, Shanna, Ashely Schow, Ashley Sloan, Rachel… thanks for being there for me when I need someone.

  Becky, girl, you make my words shine like the stars. Thanks for being patient while I work on these edits through a hard time in my life and a hurricane.

  To my readers, new and old, thank you for taking a chance on me and falling in love with these characters like I have. They’ve quickly become family to me.

  Shey Stahl is a USA Today bestselling author, a wife, mother, daughter and friend to many. When she’s not writing, she’s spending time with her family in the Pacific Northwest where she was born, and raised around a dirt track. Visit her website for additional information and keep up to date on new releases: www.sheystahl.com.

  You can also find her on Facebook:

  https://www.facebook.com/SheyStahlAuthor

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  The Torqued Trilogy

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