Mermaid Fins, Winds & Rolling Pins

by Erin Johnson

  When Maple finished her little jingle, a parchment scroll, quill and inkpot, and candle appeared on the table in front of her. The quill hovered above the paper, ready to take notes. "All right, ideas?"

  We brainstormed a few different menu options for the mermaid queen's engagement dinner and dessert. Maple's quill scribbled away frantically, till black ink covered nearly the entire scroll. We'd just finished when a voice startled us.

  "Ahem."

  I jumped, and Wiley and Yann leapt to their feet, each clutching their wands.

  The merman at the doorway held up his palms. "I apologize for surprising you. I am a messenger from our illustrious Queen Aerwyna."

  "Oh, hello." Maple stood and curtsied. "Please come in."

  The merman with the short brown hair cleared his throat. "If it pleases you, I'll stay outside. I have but a brief message to deliver and would rather not experience legs." He scrunched his nose while eyeing Yann's boots.

  "Oh, of course." Maple smiled. "Please go on."

  His tail fanned slowly back and forth as he treaded water just outside the magically sealed opening. "Queen Aerwyna bids me tell you that your baking services are not required until the morrow. And as such, she requests your presence with her this evening at the Cove."

  "No!"

  We all turned to look at Wiley, who stared at the messenger with his mouth wide open. He ran both hands through his hair and turned from the messenger to us at the table, and back to the messenger again. "No way. This is amazing. Seriously? The Cove?"

  The messenger gave a tolerant nod.

  "What is—the Cove?" K'ree lifted a dark brow.

  "Uh—only the hottest, most exclusive club in all of the kingdoms." Wiley scoffed. "There's a waitlist like a year long to get in, but even then you have to be invited by the owner, the pirate king. This is insane."

  If Wiley thought it was insane, I could only imagine what lay in store for us. I yawned. I'd already been up for over twenty-four hours. A club sounded like a nightmare right now. My only chance of survival lay in a long nap this afternoon.

  "Quite." The messenger continued, "She requests that you arrive fashionably late and ready to—" He made air quotes. "Get jellied."

  "What's—jellied?" K'ree winced.

  The messenger cleared his throat and looked like he smelled something unpleasant. "The young queen and her court have taken to purposefully stinging themselves with the toxic tendrils of jellyfish to induce hallucinations strong enough to dampen the nerve pain caused by the stings. Hence, the term ‘jellied’—used loosely in the same context as wasted, hammered, fu—"

  "Oh wow." The color drained from Maple's face. "We don't have to, do we?"

  "It's entirely at your discretion." The messenger bowed. "I've been instructed to show you to your sleeping quarters."

  "Oh thank heavens we don't have to sleep here." Annie pressed a hand to her lower back. "I'm too old for this nonsense. I need a firm bed and a cup of tea."

  Yann scooted back from the table. His chair scraped across the wooden planks and startled an eel from its resting place outside the window beside the messenger. "Well, I for da one, rrreally need a chower."

  We all exchanged looks.

  The messenger cleared his throat and bubbles poured out his nostrils. "Sir, as we live under the sea, we generally consider that enough cleansing."

  "Oh yah." Yann scratched his head and bright pink dots appeared on his cheeks. "Well, eef eet ees good enough for da feeshes, eet ees good enough for me."

  Everyone else rose and moved toward the doorway.

  "We can just leave everything as is?" Maple asked him. She gestured at the makeshift countertops we'd created and the piles of cleaned cookware.

  The messenger nodded.

  Annie, Yann, Wiley, and K'ree conjured up small bubbles like the ones Amelia had magicked for us earlier. Sam shifted into his snake form again.

  "Oh, shoot, I have to get Iggy." I dashed up the stairs toward the upper level. Too bad he'd warmed the oven for nothing.

  Maple looked between me and the rest of the group. "You guys go on ahead, we'll be a few minutes." She smiled at the messenger. "Do you mind coming back for us?"

  He shook his head. The others popped their bubbles into their mouths, then dove out the magical doorway into the sea. Maple climbed the stairs, looking back over her shoulder. When Wiley dove out, she turned and finished climbing up with her eyes down and her mouth pressed into a tight line.

  The others swam past the window, led by the messenger. Wiley had a hand on K'ree’s and Yann's shoulders and shook them, clearly still ramped up about our night out at the club. Maple sniffed.

  "Hey, what's wrong?" I pulled up a stool next to mine in front of the fire and patted it. Maple joined me. We watched Iggy for a moment as he happily chomped down on logs, eyes closed in bliss. Oh, the simple pleasures. I wiped a trickle of sweat from my forehead and pushed my damp bangs back. We certainly didn't need Iggy's heat. The magic may have kept the sea from spilling into the wreck, but it didn't keep the humidity out. That, plus a bunch of warm bodies moving heavy furniture around, and it felt like a sauna.

  Maple leaned her cheek against her hand. "I just thought Wiley would've stayed—you know, to keep me—us, company and to make sure we were safe." She sighed. "But all he cares about is going to that club."

  My friend stared at her lap, picking at a loose thread in her apron. I put a hand on her leg and gave it a little shake. "Well, you're right that that would have been the gentlemanly thing to do, but… this is Wiley we're talking about. He's fun, a little wild, makes you laugh—but if you want a gentleman, that's Wool."

  She looked up and her eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

  I cocked my head to the side. "About what part?"

  She gave a quick shake of her head. "I mean—why would you bring up Wool?"

  "Uh." I lifted both hands, palm up and weighed them like a scale. "You've got two guys you're interested in and we were talking about them… right?"

  Her jaw dropped. Then she crossed her arms and leaned away. "I told you, I'm interested in Wool. But Wiley? Ha. No way. I meant it in a work sense—like, where's his loyalty?"

  My jaw dropped and I reached forward and grabbed her forearms. "Maple. Wiley's into you and you are clearly interested in him."

  She licked her lips and shook her head. "No way. I'm his boss; we work together." She shook her head again. "It would be inappropriate."

  I chuckled. "Inappropriate as it may be, that doesn't mean you're not interested in him. Come on, this is me you're talking to."

  Her eyes darted to the side in confusion. She shook her head again. She was going to get dizzy if she kept doing that. "It's just—I just thought he'd show more initiative and want to make sure we were safe, you know?"

  I folded my arms and quirked my lips to the side. "Uh-huh. So why don’t you care that Annie, Yann, K’ree, and Sam didn't stay back with us either?"

  "I— Because he and I have been—uh, working on our professional relationship and—"

  "Oh give it up."

  Maple and I turned to Iggy. I grinned. "Look who decided to join the conversation."

  "Maple, you're into him." He peeled one eye open to look at me while he chewed on the firewood. "And I only joined because I couldn't stand to listen to your inane chatter for one more minute."

  "Well, if you'll give that stick a break, it's time to go. We apparently have some wild clubbing to get ready for." I opened my eyes wide at Maple. "And by get ready, I mean sleep for as many hours as possible."

  "Here here!" She yawned and gave a weak shake of her fist.

  A shadow passed over us, then cleared. We all stilled.

  "What was that?" I asked, my heart racing.

  Maple and I turned on our stools. Nothing appeared through the windows behind us except deep blue sea water. I swallowed, and Maple shrugged.

  "Maybe it was just a ship way above our heads, blotting out the sun or something?"

 
Iggy slowly put down his log. "That wasn't a ship."

  I screamed as the whole ship rocked. The chandelier on the lower level swung back and forth, and the various nets, chains, and lanterns strung from the beams of the ceiling quivered. The flickering candlelight sent shadows playing everywhere.

  THUNK! Maple and I screamed and hugged each other as the suckers of a giant octopus filled the windows behind the oven.

  "What? What is it?" Iggy looked frantically around.

  Maple just shook her head.

  "It—it's a—" I spluttered.

  POP! POP! POP! The suckers pulled away from the ship as the creature lifted its giant tentacle. An enormous eye appeared in one of the windows.

  Maple froze. "It's looking at us."

  My heart pounded in my chest as I struggled for breath. Maple emitted a high-pitched whine as a huge, red tentacle snaked inside an open window on the lower level and patted around, knocking over a chair and bumping up against the railing.

  "What do we do?" Maple squeaked out of the corner of her mouth.

  I inched away from the creeping tentacle. "Magic?"

  "Are you hookers the new bakers?"

  I jumped and whirled. A mermaid with long, jet-black hair lounged in one of the gaping windows. She lifted a severe eyebrow. "Did you hear me?"

  Gasping, I pointed a shaking finger at the rogue octopus. The mermaid rolled her eyes.

  Maple clasped her hands together. "Please help us!"

  The mermaid sat up straighter and barked out, "Oi! Oscar!"

  The giant eye in the window darted to the mermaid.

  "Leave these landlubbers alone, ya big doofus."

  The giant eye darted back to us and then the tentacle slowly receded. My heart pounded and I pressed a clammy hand to my heaving chest. "Thank you. How did you do that?" The giant octopus shot off into the distance.

  "Uh, wit my voice, duh." She picked at her long black nails. "Dat's da queen's pet. Ya freaks don't need to be so shook, he's harmless." She lifted a shoulder. "Mostly."

  Between her beyond-tanned skin, long sharp nails, and raspy voice, she scared me in a mean-girl sort of way. I nodded, then struggled through a tight throat to clear my voice. "Yeah, well, we, uh, hookers, are the new bakers."

  Iggy burst into laughter in the oven and I shot him a look that I hoped screamed "be quiet," then turned back to the mermaid. She lifted a crystal bottle of amber liquid and shook it. "Yeah, well, the Finnie wants you to bake something wit dis."

  "The Finnie?"

  She narrowed her eyes and cocked her head to the side. "You kids dense or somethin'?"

  Maple and I exchanged looks.

  "Winnie da Finnie?" She opened her mouth and blinked at us. "Da queen?" She pushed the bottle through the window and it came through, dripping onto our side. "Can yous two legs make somethin' wit dis or not, huh?" She twirled a black lock around her finger, then looked down and noticed one of the starfish that barely covered her nipples had shifted. She shoved it back up into place, then turned back to us. She raised an expectant brow.

  Maple and I inched forward to stand in front of the window. I lifted the glass decanter. The mermaid scooped her hair to the side and stroked it. "Make it good, too."

  "What is it?"

  "That, kids, is da good stuff. Now don't drink any a dat brandy youselves, it's da queen's favorite and she'll know." She leaned closer and narrowed her eyes at us. "Got it?"

  Maple and I nodded. "Don't drink any—got it."

  "Don't even test whatever yous makes wit it."

  "Uh, why?" I cleared my throat when she shot me a scathing look. "Just, uh, because it'll be hard to tell if it’s any good or not."

  "Just make it good and don't taste a drop, yous hears?"

  Maple nodded. "We hears."

  I scratched my temple. "Uh, not to question you, of course, but you're sure this is coming from the queen? It just seems kinda—" Shady was what I wanted to say. “Unofficial.”

  I winced as the mermaid’s face darkened. “You questioning me? You wanna come out here and we can throw down?”

  I shook my head and held up my palms. “I assure you, I do not want to throw down. That is not necessary.”

  She paused in pulling out her earrings, which on closer examination I realized were fish hooks attached to crab claws.

  “We’ll bake…." I looked to Maple for help, but she'd turned white. "Uh, we'll make brandy balls. And we won't try any and we'll—what do you want us to do with them?"

  The mermaid slipped off the window ledge. "Bring them to the Cove tonight. Give them to the bouncer—the tall one with the good bod. Tell him dey're for Bubbles."

  I raised my brows. "Bubbles?" I grinned. This tough girl was named Bubbles. "That's you?"

  Her eyes flashed as she pressed her lips together. She lunged forward, smacking her hands against the window frame. "You think dats funny, uh?"

  Maple jumped in front of me, arms spread wide. "Please don't kill my friend!"

  I gently pushed her arms down. "No one's getting killed." I hoped. "Bubbles is a great name, and we will get you the brandy balls tonight." My voice came out stronger and more confident than I felt.

  Bubbles quirked her lips to the side. "Yous better."

  She turned and swam off, passing the messenger as he returned for us. He watched her go with a puzzled expression, then swam up to the window. "Are you ladies ready to see your quarters?"

  I sighed. Looked like our naps would have to wait. "Actually, Bubbles there gave us an assignment for the queen—looks like we'll be here baking for a while. Can you come back in a couple hours?"

  He gave a curt nod. "Of course."

  He turned to go, but I reached out. "Um—"

  He spun back around.

  "She is authorized to make requests for the queen, right?" I glanced at the decanter of brandy in my hand.

  He gave a tired sigh. "She is part of the queen's court and one of her closest—" He sighed. "As the queen says, frenemies. At this time, she seems to be in the queen's good favor, so I would assume whatever message or task she gave you, did come from the queen herself… would you like me to check?”

  Maple and I looked at each other. I imagined Bubbles finding out we’d gone above her head. Maple jumped in. “No, that won’t be necessary. Thank you.”

  The messenger nodded and swam off, and Maple and I turned to Iggy.

  "Well, at least you didn't heat up the oven for nothing."

  8

  The Club

  "There she is." Wiley grinned and rubbed his palms together. "Full speed ahead, mateys, ahoy!"

  A pirate leaned over the gilded rail of the tall pirate ship that loomed above us, leading our rowboat. He rolled his eyes and retreated.

  "I'm embarrassed for you," Iggy drawled. He burned beside me on the wooden bench. As the rough Sansea winds whipped a spray of water across our boat, I steadied his bubble, grateful that we'd kept him in it.

  I wiggled my feet in my nude pumps, happy to have toes again. We'd changed back into mermaids, then humans again, after we finished up the brandy balls, which sat in a tin in my lap.

  Wiley leaned across Maple and reached for the tin. "Come on, just one."

  She swatted his hand away. "For the millionth time, no." She grinned, but thinly. Apparently Wiley wasn't back in her good graces yet.

  Annie and Yann had elected to stay behind, citing their age as an excuse to miss the evening out. Did feeling old count as an excuse? I yawned—I'd been up the whole night before and didn't relish doing it again. I'd already drifted off twice on the boat ride over, and woken to Wiley sticking a finger in my gaping mouth.

  But I knew we had to go—if for no other reason than dropping off the brandy balls. I hoped I'd see Hank, too. It could actually be fun if I got another night out with him. Plus, I'd feel safer. It hadn't occurred to me, until we left the city and I passed through the black gate, that I'd be leaving the protective bubble. At least I had my friends around me.

  We
'd all dressed up for the occasion, though apparently the club was both above and below water, so we had the option of switching back to mermaid mode at any time. I sat with my ankles crossed in a tight red, boat-necked dress that nearly matched my hair. Nude pumps completed the outfit.

  I'd convinced Maple to be slightly risqué in a pale pink A-line mini dress with an open back. She fretted with the skirt, pulling it lower.

  Wiley slid an arm around her shoulders and pointed toward the island in the middle of the sea ahead of us. An outcropping of rocks jutted hundreds of feet into the air, creating nothing but sheer cliff faces all the way around. The full moon seemed to cast a spotlight on it.

  "That'sss Club Cove?" Sam blinked through his thick glasses.

  "Just ‘the Cove.’" Wiley gave him a sobering look. "And like I said, it’s the most exclusive club in all the kingdoms. Good Time Chuck, the pirate king, inherited it from the previous pirate king. It used to be a hideout, but he turned it into this massive nightclub with booby traps to keep people out."

  "Wow. I feel so VIP." K'ree and I exchanged grins

  "Uh, yeah. This is a big deal, you guys, just try to be cool and don't ruin it for me." Wiley ran a hand through his slicked-back hair and adjusted his perfectly rolled sleeves. "Do I look okay?"

  I covered my mouth to hide my smirk.

  Maple swallowed. "Uh, yeah, you look great."

  Wiley cleared his throat. "Good. Good." He turned to Sam. "Hey man, maybe lose the bow tie."

  Sam glanced down at his outfit. Some nuances of human behavior still proved elusive for Sam. Fashion was one of them. He sported a blue polka-dotted bow tie, fringed leather vest, mesh shirt, and tuxedo pants with a ribbon down the pant leg, topped by his thick glasses and a plastered-down hairstyle.

  K'ree turned to him. "May I help, a little?"

  "Oh, yesss pleasse."

  She shot Wiley a glare. "Sam just has his own unique style."

  He cocked his head. "Then why do you think he needs your help?"

  She flushed a shade of berry. "Just a little tweak." She removed her own chambray button-up, which she'd been wearing as a light jacket. Sam put it on, hiding the mesh shirt, and K'ree redid the bow tie under the collar. She rolled up his sleeves and then turned the vest inside out to hide the fringe and buttoned it closed. The effect became more hipster, with the tuxedo pants adding a little whimsy.