Mermaid Fins, Winds & Rolling Pins

by Erin Johnson

  He frowned. "Randy's balls?"

  I planted my free hand on my hip. "Don't play dumb."

  "Maybe he isn't playing," Iggy muttered.

  The bouncer shrugged. "Bubbles paid me to deliver packages to her now and then. I didn't ask what was in them."

  Hmph. I followed the others into the club. We shuffled onto the tightly packed dance floor. A heavy beat pounded a headache into my skull, and the flashing lights ricocheting through the club had me squinting.

  Man, I felt like an old lady. Soon I'd be shaking my fist and shouting for the hooligans to turn the music down. We pushed our way to the bar. I definitely needed a drink to get through this night. Maple ordered another mimosa, and I got a margarita with extra salt. Sam had already disappeared and now wiggled and gyrated in front of the towering eel tank. I scanned the room and found Winnie sitting in her clamshell beside Good Time Chuck. They seemed to be getting along as well as Wiley and Maple.

  Winnie held her arms folded tight across her chest and looked with pursed lips in the exact opposite direction of the pirate. Chuck caught me watching. I gave him a thumbs-up and big smile. I really hoped thumbs-up wasn't an obscene gesture in pirate culture. But he returned it—so good, I think?

  As I turned back to my group, I spotted another familiar face. Glaucus, with his sunken chest and thin white hair, lurked in a pool—just the top half of his face visible above the water. Mermaids and mermen lounged around the edges of the water, chatting and flirting with people on land. But Glaucus only watched one—Valonzy. She sat alone, leaning against a rock. I rose on my toes to see better, but some tall pirates passed between me and the pool and I lost sight of her and Glaucus.

  I leaned closer to Maple and spoke into her ear to be heard above the music. "I see Valonzy in the pool—I want to ask her something. Want to come with?"

  Maple cast a side-eyed glance at Wiley. He stood a head above almost everyone else, but instead of the dancing drunk idiot from the previous night, dark bags hung under his eyes and he stood stock-still. I kind of missed wild idiot Wiley. Maple sighed and nodded. K'ree chose to stay with him and keep an eye out for Sam.

  Maple and I threaded through the packed dance floor, Iggy still under my arm. Something heavy landed on my toes and I winced, but kept moving. I ducked to avoid getting whipped by flying hair, and shielded my eyes as we passed under the mirrored fish decoration that cast splintered light across the caves. We found the pool and I spotted Valonzy, still crying into her drink, though Glaucus had disappeared.

  Maple frowned. "I wonder why he comes here?"

  "There aren't any good explanations," Iggy chimed in.

  I nodded. And why had he been watching Valonzy so intently? Maple and I slid through the crowd. I pulled off my wedges and Maple slipped out of her flip-flops. We sat down on the damp edge of the pool and stuck our feet in. I set Iggy on the stone ground beside me. My throbbing feet appreciated the cool water.

  I tried to play it cool. "Oh, Valonzy! Didn't see you there."

  She glanced up, her eyes ringed in black circles of mascara. "Oh. You." Tears trickled down her cheeks and she sniffed. Wow, she was really taking Bubbles's death hard. Only a couple months ago, I’d dreamed of having friends—even just one—that were closer than my farmers’ market buddies or work pals. I wanted real, fight by your side, stay up all night talking friends. And I had them. I glanced at Valonzy and sighed. No wonder she was sad—even if they had had their differences, losing a close friend would be devastating.

  "I'm sorry about Bubbles."

  She nodded and gathered her long blue hair over to one shoulder. She wrung it between her hands as her lower lip trembled.

  "You must've been close."

  Her face stilled. She reached without looking for her drink and brought it to her lips. She tilted her head back and emptied the mug in one long swig, then slammed it down on the rock again. "Yeah, we were close." Valonzy swayed in place. "At least, I thought so."

  Maple and I exchanged looks. "What do you mean? What happened?"

  But Valonzy pushed herself out of the pool, sprouting legs and a barely there dress. She palmed my face for balance. "'Scuse me a minute."

  I wiped my wet brow and watched her stagger toward the DJ, perched high in an alcove in the rock. Then I saw him and gasped.

  "What?" Maple frowned, then followed my gaze. "Oh."

  Hank stood at the entrance to the club, flanked by a few bodyguards. He wore a dark teal cotton suit, a gray T-shirt, and black sneakers. He stood tall, shoulders squared, and gazed out over the dance floor. I ducked and hid behind the dancing crowd.

  Maple crouched beside me. "We're hiding from Prince Harry?"

  I frowned. "Hiding? Psh. No. We're, uh, we're—" I balled my hands into fists and bounced left and right. "Gettin' low. Like, real low to the floor."

  "Like, so low Prince Harry can't see us?" Maple lifted a brow.

  I winked. "Exactly that low."

  Iggy rolled his eyes.

  Maple shook her head and leaned close to yell over the music. "You can't avoid him forever. He probably came here to see you."

  I winced. "You think?"

  "Uh, yeah."

  I sighed. Two nights ago, I would have been overjoyed. My stomach collection of butterflies went wild, fluttering all over the place, but my mind raced. What could I say to him? We'd kissed—there was no pretending that hadn't happened. And I'd almost killed him and then swam off and totally ditched him. Worst of all, I totally wanted to do it again—the kissing, not the almost killing part—and I knew there was no way I could. So, avoidance seemed the best option. "I'm not ready to talk to him."

  Maple gave me a sad smile. "I know how you feel."

  I laughed. "Oh yeah, duh, you're avoiding Wiley. Let's slink off, shall we?"

  Iggy frowned. "Aw. But we haven't even seen anyone throw their drink on someone, or get in a fistfight."

  Maple grinned and took my free hand. I led the way through the crowd, glancing over my shoulder in case Hank got close. Suddenly the music cut, the dancing stopped, and the lights came on, illuminating the dance floor. Oh great. I pulled Maple around a corner. We peeked around to see what was happening. Valonzy stood beside the DJ, her arms raised as she swayed high above the crowd.

  "Thank you all, so much, for coming out tonight to honorary my dear friend Shellina Bubblon, known to her friends and loved ones as Bubbles."

  The crowd quieted, and Valonzy’s voice carried stronger out over the club.

  "Bubbles—" She choked and looked away for a moment. "Bubbles would have loved this. She loved this place and you people—this is a fitting tributary to her. She would've been in that pool over there, daring some pirates with hot bods to show her their wooden pegs. And by that she would've meant their man parts."

  I shook my head as Valonzy wiped away a tear.

  Iggy grinned. "Yes."

  "Or she'd have magicked herself some fresh legs and been dancing on that table over there, or been fightin' wit' some shark—that's what we called the aggressive but ugly mermaids. You know who you are!"

  The DJ tried to drag her off, but she pushed the lady away. "Anybody—anybody have any words they wanna say for Bubbles?"

  "Enough!"

  All heads turned to the alcove directly across from Valonzy. There the queen sat with her arms crossed and eyes blazing. A pile of empty glasses lay scattered over the rocks around her. Winnie swayed in her seat. "No more sob fest, this is a party. A party for a man-stealing whore bag!"

  Iggy rubbed his flame palms together. "This is so good."

  Gasps echoed through the grotto. Valonzy turned bright red and her eyes blazed.

  Queen Winnie squinted and pointed at Valonzy. "You wanna throw a party for our ink sack friend, you go for it, but I'm done pretending." She turned to Good Time Chuck and peeled off her enormous green emerald ring and threw it at him. "We're over—for good!"

  Chuck reached for the queen, but she shirked away and yelled, "DJ, put on music!"
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  The DJ obeyed, and Queen Winnie slid from her clamshell and slipped into the mermaid pool to gyrate against some bronzed mermen. The crowd gradually returned to dancing, and Maple and I exchanged looks.

  "Something's going on here."

  Maple nodded. "But I'm too exhausted to figure it out."

  "Agreed." I jerked my head to the side. "What say you we slip out of here and go home and sleep?" I waggled my brows. "Eh, you up for a wild night?"

  She grinned and yawned. "Oh yeah, let's hit those pillows hard."

  I threw my hands in the air with faux enthusiasm. "Eight hours of sleep! Woo!"

  Iggy folded his arms. "You guys are so boring compared to the mermaids."

  Maple chuckled, and together we snuck out of the club without running into either Hank or Wiley. Mission accomplished. Then why did I feel so bummed?

  16

  Meeting

  “Bones!” Iggy threw his little flame arms into the air as I placed his last domino tile for him. “I win—again!”

  “Eh.” Yann shook his head.

  Annie knocked over her tiles, and K'ree looked wide-eyed at Iggy. "How is he so good?"

  I shot Iggy a side-eyed glance. "He's certainly lucky for someone who's never played before."

  He grinned a tight-lipped smile. As this made three games in a row he'd swept, I suspected he was hustling us. Maple gently pushed her tiles to the middle, as Wiley did the same. Their hands nearly brushed, but Maple pulled hers back and shoved them in her lap. Wiley's face clouded.

  As Annie reached into the center and mixed up the tiles for another game, I glanced out the magically sealed window of the shipwreck kitchen. We'd spent the whole morning waiting for orders. As excited as I'd been to get to the mermaid kingdom, I would've thought I'd been enjoying the downtime to soak in the experience.

  But with most of the royal court sleeping off their hangovers all day, and us having to technically be on call, it'd amounted to a lot of boredom. Luckily, Yann had found this old dominoes set in a pirate's trunk, and we'd been playing for the last hour.

  "Pick your tiles, dears." Annie finished mixing and gestured at the table. I scooped up seven for me and seven for Iggy, who sat in a lantern beside me.

  Iggy's eyes grew round. "We've got company."

  "Hm?" I followed his gaze out the window. "Oh." Glaucus, the skinny old merman, hovered outside the porthole behind Wiley.

  "Listen up."

  The game paused as everyone looked up.

  Glaucus cleared his throat in a rasping, wet cough. "Head baker's presence is requested in the old queen's quarters."

  Maple blinked and rose as Glaucus turned and kicked off. "Uh, sir?" She moved to the porthole. "I'm not sure where to find the old queen's quarters?"

  He glanced over his shoulder and glared. "Well, yeh'd better hurry up then, shouldn't ya? I'm not waiting."

  He kicked off again and I rose. "I'm coming with."

  Maple nodded. "Let's hurry, I guess."

  Iggy waved. "Me, too."

  "Finally, maybe someone else will get a chance to win," Annie scoffed.

  Wiley pushed back from the table. "I don't feel like playing anymore." He sulked off.

  I didn't know which I'd rather do less—stay cooped up on the wreck with moody Wiley, or chase after an angry octogenarian with fins. But then I remembered I had some questions for that old fish. I grabbed Iggy and dodged tables and overturned crates to join Maple beside the open doorway to the sea beyond. I pulled power from the sea outside and used it to form a protective bubble for Iggy. It seemed so easy now—like taking a breath.

  "'Bye, guys. We'll be back soon." Maple turned and waved.

  Annie, K'ree, and Yann waved back, but Wiley had disappeared somewhere below deck. We cast the spell to create bubbles, swallowed them, and dove out the door into the water. My legs transformed into a beautiful green tail. I spotted Glaucus, now a tiny speck beyond the waving seaweed and past the darting school of silvery fish.

  "There's that old urchin." I pointed, and Maple nodded when she spotted him. We kicked forward, our arms stretched in front, Iggy between my hands. We soon caught up with the surprisingly quick adviser. He in no way acknowledged our presence. When the ruins of the mermaid city came into view, I spoke up.

  "So, Glaucus."

  He made no reply. Maple gave me an encouraging nod. I cleared my throat. "I think I saw you the other night at the Cove."

  He glanced over his shoulder and glared. "You were mistaken."

  I kicked faster to glide up alongside him. "No." I shook my head. "I'm sure of it. In the mermaid pool, and a couple of days ago, too—the night Bubbles died."

  He shot me a wide-eyed glance and then faced forward again, blinking quickly. "Young lady, I am adviser to the queen, and as such I am required at times to perform duties in places well below my status."

  I frowned. "So you were there?"

  He growled. "You are a very rude and nosy young lady."

  I glared at him. I'd take that as a yes. If he were there on official business, as he seemed to be implying, why get so defensive? "So, the queen sent you to the club? Why?"

  His eyes blazed and his pale cheeks burned red. "It is no affair of yours, I assure you."

  I shrugged. "No worries—Winnie and I are pretty tight. I'll just ask her." Would he call my bluff?

  He stopped on the fringes of the underwater city. "I'll have you know, none of this is to reach the young queen, is that understood?"

  Maple appeared on my other side. "Spill it, old man."

  Oh good. Bad cop was back.

  "The old queen asks me to keep an eye on her granddaughter, you see? I am her eyes and ears."

  I lifted a brow. "But?"

  He huffed. "But Queen Winnie doesn't know I keep an eye on her, and we wish it to stay that way."

  "So you're a spy?" Maple jabbed a finger at him.

  Glaucus lurched back and batted her hand away. "Enough of this. Royalty is waiting."

  He clammed up after that and we followed in silence as he led the way to the mermaid palace. We dipped under a crumbling stone archway and swam down a corridor between tall stone temples. A deep ravine stretched below us, its depths lost in the dark.

  An octopus peeked out from a crevice in the stone wall. A mermaid sat in one of the open windows, brushing her hair. Shimmering fish darted about in schools that swiftly changed direction. At the end of the long, narrow valley, the circular palace sat perched atop an undersea mountain. Three rows of arched open windows wrapped the base, reminding me of the Colosseum in Rome. A stone pyramid sat above it, decorated with arched entryways and reliefs of mermaids.

  We followed Glaucus up to the pyramid level and kicked in place while he spoke with several guards who stood watch. The mermen held tridents and wore white helmets. They waved Glaucus past and we followed him through a stone doorway into a long hallway.

  Long, thin strands of seaweed waved from the ceiling and floor, tickling my arms and fins as I passed through. We navigated a few more twists and turns without passing anyone else. Then the old merman pushed through a doorway strung with a beaded curtain made of pearls, and we entered a round room.

  Amelia and one of her assistants chatted with their heads close. Good Time Chuck still sported legs, but wore a bubble, similar to the one we used to keep Iggy dry, around his head like a space helmet. He rubbed his thumb across Queen Winnie the Finnie's hand as she sat beside him in a throne made of smooth, glimmering abalone.

  And next to her, perfectly upright, as though she had a rod up her spine, sat the elderly woman that had to be Winnie's grandma, the old queen. She wore a crown of white coral in her light gray hair, a string of pearls around her neck, with a black shawl top and a jet-black tail. She lifted her chin as we trailed in behind Glaucus.

  He dipped into a low bow, both arms spread wide. Maple and I exchanged glances, then did the same (minus the arms).

  "Rise," a deep female voice commanded us.

  I straig
htened. Glaucus swept an arm to each side. "Her Royal Highness Delphine, may I present to you the Head Royal Baker of the Water Kingdom, Maple White, and her associate, Imogen Banks. They have already met your granddaughter and her fiancé."

  Delphine's amber eyes narrowed and she pursed her lips, which formed deep lines all around them. "How lucky for them." She rapped a bone comb against Winnie's armrest. The young queen startled and pulled away from Chuck—they'd been rubbing noses. I guessed the wedding was back on. "We have guests."

  Amelia swam over. "And a lot to discuss."

  Winnie straightened the crown atop her bright pink hair. She smiled at Maple, then narrowed her eyes at me. "You ratted me out."

  "Uh." My eyes grew large. "Me?"

  "Uh, yeah, you. You told the police I was mad at Bubbles 'cause I thought she got with my man." She sneered at me. Her grandma looked away, burying her face in her hand.

  "You're not still mad about that?" I scratched my cheek.

  Winnie rolled her eyes, then turned to make kissy faces at Chuck. "Course I'm not mad at this hunk a man meat." She pinched his cheek. "How could I be?"

  "The getting with your man part?" I said out of the corner of my mouth. Iggy cackled.

  "Oh no, he explained everything—we're good now." She turned to me and winked as Chuck rubbed her shoulders. "They was discussing business, that's all."

  "Right…," Iggy drawled.

  I lifted a brow. "What business?"

  Winnie waved a hand dismissively. "Psh, like I know."

  Chuck smirked. "Private pirate business."

  Winnie giggled and they kissed.

  I folded my arms, annoyed that Chuck was trying to brush me off like that. "Hmph. Well, I'm sure Bon will want to hear all about that business."

  Chuck grinned. "He hasn't been back since two days ago."

  Honestly, Bon was the worst.

  Delphine growled and lifted her face. "Let us get on with it, shall we?"

  Amelia lifted a slender finger. "We've discussed the decorations for the grand hall reception. We're going pastels—coral, pink, lavender, and beige." She lifted a brow at Maple and me. "Pastries need to match." She cast an exasperated look at Delphine. "And it's to be a state affair, apparently, so the guest list will number from four hundred to six hundred."