The Final Move

by Victoria Denault

  “Don’t be petty about this, Devin,” I say in a voice that has the slightest hint of a wobble, damn it. “Put your wounded ego aside and think about this. You made a vow to this woman. She wants to honor it. You might not think this is cheating, and it wasn’t when she wanted the marriage over too, but now she doesn’t. Now you’re the only one keeping your family apart.”

  I push past him and march back into the living room.

  I avoid him the rest of the time we’re at Wyatt and Donna’s. I don’t want to finish this conversation in front of our families. I was on the verge of tears and they did not need to see that.

  Conner falls asleep in the car as we drive home. Devin is silent but it’s a tense, angry silence. I try to ignore it and stare at the snowbanks gleaming in the moonlight as we drive along. When we pull into the driveway, Devin starts to gently undo Conner from his car seat and I head to the house to unlock the front door.

  He walks past me with his beautiful, sleeping angel in his arms and I feel a lump in my throat. I wish Conner were mine. Ours. I always knew I wanted children; I just never thought I’d want a man to have them with. But…that changed. I had begun to fantasize about having a baby with Devin. Our own child. There’ll never be an “ours” now.

  He heads up the stairs with his son and I follow but turn left into the guest room where my luggage is already waiting, still packed. I sit on the edge of the bed and stare at my hands in my lap. I wish I’d never agreed to come home with him for Christmas. I wish I had never agreed to date him. I wish I had never agreed to work on this show in New York. I wish had never even met the Garrisons. I wish I had never even been born. I wish…

  “We need to talk.” His voice is low and even.

  I look up and he’s standing with his arms crossed in the doorframe. The light from the hall is framing his silhouette, which is taking up the entire doorway.

  “Did he wake up or is he still sleeping?” I ask softly and stand up.

  “Sleeping,” he says before adding, “What the fuck is going on with you?”

  “Close the door.”

  He hesitates but does what I say. I walk up to him and without a word I just grab his face in my hands and kiss him with every emotion brewing in my heart. It’s the most intense kiss I have ever given anyone in my entire life. It embodies everything I ever felt for him and everything I’ll never get to feel.

  His response is swift and complete. He grabs my waist and pulls me to him roughly and pushes his tongue into my mouth and attacks me with just as much passion. I’m overwhelmed by the need to have him—be close to him—just one more time. I know it’s the worst possible idea. I know it will make this that much more impossible, but I can’t stop. I can’t deny myself. I need him.

  I start undoing his pants. He starts undressing me too and within minutes we’re both standing there in the semi-dark naked, still kissing and groping each other. I turn us and lean my back against the wall and then pull him against me. His bare skin against my bare skin is warm and smooth and makes me dizzy with lust.

  I suck greedily on his neck as he scoops up my left thigh and hitches it over his hip. He pushes his pelvis into me, his solid dick slipping across my wet slit. Oh fuck, I want him. Right now. Like this.

  I push down on him and his tip slips into me. His body trembles as he fights the urge to push deeper. I bite my lip to keep myself from telling him to just do it. Take me. Fuck protection.

  If this were twenty-four hours ago, I could have said it and it would have been okay. If I got pregnant twenty-four hours ago, I would have been shocked and scared but I would have felt, without a doubt, that it would end up okay. Because twenty-four hours ago I would have been spending my life with this man. But now…Ashleigh had taken that option away.

  “I want you too, but we…”

  “I know,” he says in a husky thick voice. He bends down and picks up his pants and digs through his pockets. A second later the condom is covering him and this time I push down on him all the way as our lips meet in another fiery kiss.

  He pushes into me slowly but it’s clear I’m soaking wet and completely ready for him, so as soon as he’s completely buried he starts thrusting fast and hard. I can’t do much more than balance on one foot as he holds my other leg up around his waist and presses me into the wall.

  He breaks our endless kiss and pulls back slightly. Our eyes lock on each other. He keeps pumping into me, his full, gorgeous lips slightly open. And I see it. The look on his face—the look that says he wants me. He needs me. He loves me. I know I’m mirroring it and I fight the urge to turn away and hide. I keep one hand wrapped around his shoulders and move the other to his cheek, cupping it softly. He pushes into it. I feel his five o’clock shadow tickle my palm.

  “Devin…” I whisper and tilt my pelvis. I start to feel that euphoric feeling pooling in my abdomen.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, his dark eyes still focused on mine. “Callie, I love you so much.”

  “Devin,” I pant out his name again. “Please…”

  I want to say please stop. Please stop loving me. This is too hard. It’s just going to hurt more. But words are unreachable as my orgasm starts. I break the stare and drop my head back against the wall behind me. My eyes close as that euphoria explodes, rippling through me, making my knees weak. Devin grabs the back of my other thigh and wraps it around his back. The only thing holding me up now is the wall and Devin. I quiver and shake as he grunts and gasps and explodes into me, slamming me back against the wall one more time.

  We stay there, me wrapped around him up against the wall and him leaning into me, for minute after minute. We’re both breathing hard but not saying a word. Finally his hands move from under my thighs and I put my feet down on the floor again.

  He pulls back and brushes his lips against mine. “Come to the master bedroom with me,” he whispers. “It’s okay. I promise.”

  “It’s not,” I argue back. “Not on Christmas. He’ll be up at the crack of dawn. Let him adjust bit by bit.”

  “I don’t sleep well without you,” he mumbles back, resting his head on my shoulder.

  “You’ll be okay, Devin. I promise,” I say solemnly and mean that in ways he does not understand.

  He pulls back and kisses my lips softly before turning and pulling the condom off. He tosses it into the plastic trashcan by the desk in the corner of the room and pulls on his jeans and underwear. Gathering the rest of his discarded clothes, he kisses me again.

  “We still need to talk about all this,” Devin says firmly. “I’m not keeping my family apart, Callie. At least I didn’t think I was. I thought I was starting a new one—the right one—with someone who wanted it too.”

  I swallow and stare at my clothes scattered around my feet.

  He lets out a frustrated huff of breath. “I know you hate ultimatums, Callie, but at some point you have to give me another sign that you’re still in this too.”

  With that, he opens the door and slips into the hallway, closing it behind him.

  I sink to the floor and cover my face with my hands, fighting the devastatingly powerful urge to cry. I don’t cry. I won’t cry. I can’t.

  A little while later, when I’m sure I can control my emotions and I’m sure Devin is fast asleep, I put my clothes back on and grab my suitcase. I make a careful, silent descent down the stairs and out the front door.

  Chapter 51

  Callie

  I’m exhausted. I’d walked the ten minutes it took to get from Devin’s house to Jordan’s last night, by myself in the pitch-black tranquil Silver Bay night. It was freezing and I couldn’t feel my fingers by the time I opened the door to the apartment Jordan built last summer in the renovated barn. I sat on the couch staring at nothing for I don’t know how long and then I’d moved to my bedroom and stared at the ceiling until the sun came up. My eyes had continually watered but I refused to give in to tears. I did this to myself. I would not become one of those sad, lovesick, pathetic me
sses both Jessie and Rose had turned into thanks to Luc and Jordan. I didn’t deserve the chance to cry. I did this to myself. I never should have let myself care. I knew this was going to happen. Maybe not Ashleigh, but something or someone would make him leave me. It always happened to me. My parents, my grandmother—everyone left. He was bound to do the same.

  This morning, as soon as I know they’re awake, I walk into Jessie and Jordan’s kitchen. They’re sitting across from each other at the kitchen table and both look stunned to see me.

  “Devin and I are ending things,” I announce, my voice oddly calm. “I’m grabbing a flight back to New York this afternoon.”

  I turn and leave, marching across the snowy ground back to the barn. Jessie chases after me in her slippers and robe. “Callie, talk to me. Now!”

  I open my mouth to speak but I can’t. So I shake my head and run up the stairs to the apartment and stumble into my bedroom and slam the door. My chest hurts so much I think I might die. I wish I would die. Tears fill my eyes but I refuse to let them fall. Why the fuck did I ever break all my rules for Devin? Why? What the fuck was I thinking? I’m an idiot. I deserve this.

  Jessie barges right into the room and sits down next to me on the bed.

  “Ashleigh wants him back. She’s his wife. I’m not. I’m giving him back,” I blurt out and my stupid voice cracks. She just grabs me and pulls me into a hug without saying a word.

  I wiggle out of the hug when I realize it’s just going to make me cry. She gives me such a sad, disappointed look. “I can’t believe he wants to give her another chance after what she did.”

  I sniff. “He should. It’s the right thing to do. I’m just…”

  I was going to say, “I’m just a fling,” but before I can finish the sentence Jessie does. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to him. I know he knows that.”

  “I’ll take the train to Boston. I could only get a flight from Boston to New York—there aren’t any leaving from here today—so if you could drive me to the train station, I’d appreciate it,” I say and she nods. “Thanks.”

  She looks almost as sad as I feel as she stands and walks to the door. “I’ll be back in fifteen minutes; just let me throw on some clothes.”

  Ten minutes later, as I’m wheeling my suitcase into the living room, the front door of the apartment swings open and Devin is standing there. His hair is askew and he’s wearing his pajama bottoms under his black parka. I can see his bare chest under the parka because it’s not done up. He must have literally gotten out of bed, found me missing and stormed over here.

  “Where’s Conner?” I ask.

  “When I found you gone this morning and you wouldn’t answer your cell, I called my mom and she came over to watch him and I borrowed her car to come find you,” he says in a low voice, thick with anger.

  I just nod. I know I have a passive, unaffected look on my face because if he saw how upset I was, it wouldn’t help anything. He has to go back to his wife. I won’t be a home wrecker, and besides, she’s what he needs. She’s a better fit.

  “I want a woman who is strong, capable, independent and fiercely passionate—not just about me but about life and everyone she loves,” he says in that same dark, deadly tone. “That’s not Ashleigh.”

  “It was. It can be again.”

  “Shut up!” he barks and I bristle. He takes a deep, heavy breath and continues. “But I also want a woman who is fearless and trusts me and is confident in her love for me and my love for her. And that’s not you.”

  He turns and walks out of the apartment as Jessie rushes back in. She calls out to him but he ignores her and continues down the stairs. She turns to me, her green eyes wide. “What the hell just happened?”

  “Nothing,” I croak. “Let’s go. I don’t want to miss the train.”

  I lug my suitcase down the stairs, still reeling from his words. As we exit the barn Devin’s borrowed car is just turning onto the road and Jordan is standing on the porch glaring at me.

  “I don’t know what your plans are this summer, but if you’re coming back to Silver Bay, you’ll have to find another place to live,” Jordan tells me in a deep, low, angry tone. “This is my house and you’re not welcome here anymore.”

  Jessie erupts like a volcano. “You can’t do that, Jordan!”

  “I’ll come for the wedding and stay at the motel in town,” I tell her and give her a quick hug. “I won’t miss it. I promise. It’s going to be the best day of your life.”

  I mean that with all my heart. No matter how much Jordan hates me right now, he loves Jessie in a way that terrifies the crap out of me. When you look at him looking at her, he looks like he couldn’t live without her. Like she literally supplies the light and air and warmth he needs to live. The look in Devin’s eyes last night as we made love against the wall of the guest bedroom was almost that exact same look. Almost.

  “I’m not going to marry him if you aren’t here all summer to help me,” Jessie announces in a shaky whisper as a tear trickles down her pale, freckleless cheek. “I won’t do it. Not without you.”

  “What?!” Jordan bellows in shock.

  She turns on him with heartbreak plastered all over her face. “I love you, Jordan. But she’s my sister. My only family! If you keep her from me, then I can’t…”

  “He’s my brother! She fucking destroyed him today!” Jordan yells back.

  “Ashleigh did that! Ashleigh is still doing that!” Jessie yells back.

  “STOP!” I scream.

  Everyone turns to me.

  “Jessie, you’re going to marry Jordan. Jordan, you have every right to hate me,” I tell them all in a firm but distressed tone as I straighten my shoulders, trying to look calm, sure and in control, and everything I am not. “Devin will get over this and he will be fine. I promise you that. In the end, we’ll both be better off.”

  Jordan takes a step toward me, shaking his head. His blue eyes have gone from menacing to disheartened. “It’s ridiculous that I ever thought of you as someone I respected. You’re a sad, selfish mess who is letting her own stupid insecurities ruin my brother’s happiness. You should be pitied, not admired.”

  “Jordan!”

  He ignores Jessie’s indignant cry and just turns and storms back into the house. I grab Jessie’s shoulders and force her to look at me. “You are going to marry that boy. Don’t you dare let my mistakes fuck this up, do you hear me?”

  “I can’t believe he would be so cruel!” Jessie whispers.

  “He’s angry for Devin. He’s a good brother,” I tell her honestly. “It’s amazing because it shows he loves Devin just as much as Luc and Cole, which means all that rivalry and tension we see between them means nothing after all. This is a great thing, Jessie. Please just cut him some slack on this. Let him hate me.”

  She takes a deep, ragged breath and runs her hands through her perfect auburn hair. Our eyes lock and she tears up instantly again. The look of pain on her face makes me hold back my own tears. I never cry when my sisters cry. It’s been like that since we were little. When they lose it I need to hold it together. Be their rock. Get them through it; even when it is killing me as much as them, I can’t let them see it.

  “Let me leave so I don’t ruin your Christmas completely,” I say as I pull my cell out of my pocket and shakily dial the number for the one cab company in Silver Bay.

  I can’t wait to get the hell out of here.

  Chapter 52

  Devin

  The doorbell rings just as I’m packing the rest of Conner’s stuff into his little suitcase. I hurry down the stairs with Conner right behind me and open the door. Ashleigh is standing there smiling. For the first time in a long time she’s got some color back in her cheeks. She’s got on lip gloss and tight skinny jeans under a new white parka with faux fur trim. She looks pretty.

  “Hi,” she says shyly. “Is he ready to go?”

  “Mama!” Conner squeals as she bends and picks him up, hugging him and peppering
his cheek with kisses.

  “I missed you so much, baby boy!” she coos. “I hope Santa was good to you!”

  “He was,” Conner confirms and hugs her hard. “I wish you were there.”

  My chest tightens with guilt on that one.

  “Maybe next time,” Ashleigh replies calmly and catches my eye. I look away.

  “Hey. Umm…I need a favor,” I say quietly as I hand over Conner’s suitcase.

  She looks stunned but nods. “Okay, sure. What can I do?”

  “Can you drive me to the airport?” I ask hopefully and run a hand over my messy hair, which I haven’t bothered to style. “My parents are driving Luc and Rose and I didn’t want to squish in with them. If you can’t, I can just take a cab.”

  “No, of course I’ll drive you!” Ashleigh says with a bright smile. “You can tell me all about Christmas. I want to know how it went.”

  No, you really don’t, I think to myself. Or at least I don’t want to relive it. I give her a tight smile and a nod instead of saying my thoughts out loud. And then I grab my suitcase and jacket and lock the front door.

  As Ashleigh pulls out of the driveway she peppers me with questions. What did Conner get? What did Cole get Leah for their first married Christmas? What did Jessie get Jordan for their last unmarried one? Did my mom make her pecan pie?

  “Remember when you wrapped up that vacuum cleaner box?” She laughs at the memory and her big blue eyes glint in the sun bouncing off the snow and through the windshield. “And everyone was so horrified that you would buy me a vacuum for our first married Christmas.”

  “Yeah.” I can’t help but smile at the memory. “I thought my mom was going to slap me upside the head until she saw the car keys hidden inside.”

  “Remember as soon as we got back to our house the car was sitting in the driveway with a big bow and we took it for a long drive out to the middle of nowhere?” Her smile turns softer and pink rises to her cheeks. “And you convinced me to christen the car out on that deserted dirt road.”