Polarity of Us

by K. B. Ladnier

  She grinned at me. “You love me anyways. But she’s right.” Hannah stood and grabbed the plastic wrap, ripping some off and placing it over the brownies before holding the plate out for me. “Whether you wanna get laid or not, he’s going to appreciate you doing this for him. And he might still have sex with you anyways.”

  I smacked her shoulder playfully and took the plate from her. “Will you at least take the next batch out of the oven if the timer goes off while I’m over there?”

  “Nope. I’m going to let them burn so none of us can have brownies. Now, go.” She grabbed my shoulders and led me to the door, throwing my jacket over my shoulders and pushing me outside before I could argue against her joke. “Have fun!” She sing-songed, then closed the door on me.

  I couldn’t believe they both literally just kicked me out of the house to go give Bastian brownies. They were making way more of a big deal out of this than necessary. I also noticed how Aunt Em completely ignored my question about Bastian having a girlfriend. Why would she do that?

  Different reasons filtered through my head as I trudged through the thickening snow towards Bastian’s cabin. The sun began to set and the Northern Lights started to appear dimly in the sky. I smiled up at them, taking comfort from them as my heart began to race.

  Every time I was around him, I couldn’t get a control on how fast it beat. The anticipation was almost unbearable the closer I got to his cabin.

  The lights were on and I could see a large truck peeking out from the other side of the cabin as I approached, letting me know he was home. His cabin was like ours, but it was only one story and the porch wrapped all the way around rather than just at the front like ours. A large shed was set in the back that I hadn’t noticed yet. I wondered if that was where he worked on his furniture.

  I slowly walked up the steps of the porch, holding my breath as I edged closer to the door. I was so nervous, I couldn’t bring myself to knock and ended up standing there just staring at it.

  I let out the breath I was holding and lifted my fist, ready to just get it over with.

  But just as my hand came down to knock, the door swung open, leaving me standing there awkwardly with my hand raised. At first, I thought the door opened on its own, since no one was standing there. But I was very much mistaken, when my eyes drew downwards to the sweetest little face I’d ever seen.

  “Hi…” I said slowly, having not expected a little girl to answer the door.

  “Hi! You’re our new neighbor, huh? I’m Addy. You here to see my daddy?”

  Addy was not his girlfriend. Addy was his daughter.

  I wanted to laugh at this unexpected turn of events.

  Ten

  “You’re Addy?” I asked the little girl.

  I was a bit surprised to find out the Bastian had a daughter, and a little frustrated with Aunt Em for not just telling me in the first place that Addy wasn’t anywhere near his girlfriend. She could have just told me. I had a feeling she wanted me to be surprised like this. Sneaky woman.

  Addy was probably the most beautiful little girl I’d ever laid eyes on. Her blue eyes matched Bastian’s exactly. I had the strangest urge to pinch her pink, dimpled cheeks then just hug her to me like my life depended on it. Her smile was so cute with her two missing teeth. She wore some teal footie pajamas with penguins on them that only added to the cute factor. Her white hair also led me to believe that Bastian’s white locks were in fact his real natural color; which baffled me a bit.

  But while his hair was perfectly straight, hers had loose, ringlet curls at the ends.

  “Yep! That’s me!” She said happily. “Daddy hasn’t told me your name yet, though.”

  I chuckled. “Well, I can fix that. I’m Daisy Lennox,” I held my hand out to her that wasn’t holding the brownies and she shook it. “It’s very nice to meet you, Addy.”

  “It’s nice to meet you too. Daddy is in the shower, but you can come in and wait for him,” she said sweetly, holding the door open wider for me to step in.

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to get you in trouble if your daddy doesn’t want people coming in.”

  She nodded enthusiastically. “Absolutely!” Her eyes wandered to the plate in my hands. “Oh, are those brownies? Did you bring those for us?”

  I smiled even bigger at how her eyes lit up. When a kid asks you if the baked good you’re holding was for them, you tell them they were. “Yes! I hope you’re not allergic to chocolate or anything.”

  “Nope! Chocolate is my favorite!” She replied with a toothy grin. It was absolutely infectious.

  “Mine too!”

  “Addy? Who are you talking to?” I heard Bastian call out to her.

  When he came walking in from a hallway at the back of the house, my eyes widened in shock when I caught sight of him.

  He was beautifully bare from the waist up. He had a towel around his shoulders and was using one end to dry off his hair. Black, silk pajama pants barely held on at his waist, showing off that perfect V-shape between his hips. Water droplets dripped down his toned torso, only adding to the extremely sexy visual of him half naked.

  He stopped and stared at me wide-eyed. “Daisy. Hi.”

  “Uh … hi. Sorry.,” I cleared my throat and averted my eyes. “I should’ve called or something. Not just dropped by. But, I guess I would have to have your number to be able to call. I should’ve just not come by.” I wanted to punch myself for my blabbering. I was just so damn caught off guard by him shirtless and wet, I couldn’t figure out how to word. What were words?

  “Just,” he held up a finger and started to back away. “Hold on for one second. Let me just, yeah.” He swiftly disappeared down the hall.

  “Grown-ups are so weird,” Addy said next to me with a giggle.

  I glanced down at her, missing what exactly she said. “Huh?”

  She just giggled again and grabbed my hand, leading me to the couch in the living room area. “Come on. You can sit down with me. Daddy was about to order pizza.”

  Not having it in me to argue with her when she gave me such a sweet smile, I allowed her to tug me along.

  The living room left me breathless. I marveled at the twisted wood of the end tables with the beautiful matching coffee table and mantle above the fireplace. I could tell just by looking at them that Bastian had made them all himself. Once you saw someone’s trademark in a piece of work that you loved, you could catch it in everything they created.

  Addy pushed me gently down to sit on the dark leather couch, before plopping down next to me and drawing her legs up to rest her arms around her knees.

  “You have really pretty hair,” she said as she pointed to the mess atop my head.

  I ran a hand through the ends of it. “Thank you. I love yours, too,” I replied, pointing to her little pig tails.

  “Daddy makes me wear pigtails for bed. I let him do it even though I’m too old for pig tails,” she said with a sigh, twirling one of the sides around her little finger.

  “You don’t like your pigtails?” Bastian said as he walked into the room, now with a grey thermal shirt on.

  My mouth still went dry at the sight of him. I couldn’t stop imagining him without it on, and would probably have trouble avoiding doing so in the future.

  “They’re for little girls!” Addy argued.

  I slapped a hand over my mouth to hide the chuckle bubbling up. She was just so damn cute!

  Bastian raised a brow and tugged lightly on one of her pigtails as he sat on the other side of her. “You are a little girl. Well, my little girl anyway.”

  “I meant littler than me. Duh!” She rolled her eyes and huffed.

  He held his hands up in mock surrender. “Oh, I’m sorry. You didn’t specify.” He leaned over and kissed her temple. “Why don’t you go wash up for dinner?”

  “Okay…” She sighed again before jumping up to leave. She stopped before disappearing into the hall and looked pointedly at me. “You’ll still be here when I get back, right?” Sh
e asked.

  I grinned and nodded. “Yes. I’m just going to talk to your daddy for a minute.”

  She nodded and ran from the room. I turned my attention to Bastian, who leaned back with his arms crossed and a sheepish smile. “So. That’s Addy.”

  “Your daughter,” I replied with a nod. “That you didn’t tell me about.” I looked in the direction she fled. “She’s beautiful.”

  “Yeah, she is. Getting more and more beautiful every day. Boys in her class are starting to notice, too.” He rubbed the back of his neck and gave me an apologetic look. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I’m not used to new people. Everyone here knows I’m a dad. It’s always been just the two of us.”

  I tilted my head and gazed at him with understanding. A single dad. That was not a vibe I picked up from him at all, but it was clear as day now that he was a damn good one. I could see in just the way they interacted in those few short moments that they were each other’s world.

  “You don’t have to be sorry. We just met, and it was none of my business. But from what I see, you’re one hell of a dad. That little girl looks at you like the sun and moon of her life. It reminds me of how I look at my dad actually.”

  He leaned forward, propping his arms on his knees and glancing at me uncertainly. “You could see that in just a few seconds?”

  “Definitely,” I said with an assuring smile. “She really is great, though. She looks like you.”

  He laughed loudly. God was that an amazing sound. “She acts like me too. But the older she gets the more she looks like her mom.” His face fell.

  My heart broke a little at the sight. I knew that look well. “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to her?” I asked in a whisper.

  He scratched his chin and stared at the fire crackling silently in the fireplace. “She died. Addy was only three.”

  My hand automatically went to my heart, the ache at what Addy must feel like without a mom burning my chest. Of Bastian losing someone he obviously loved. “I’m so sorry, Bastian.”

  He glanced at me with a sad smile. “It was a long time ago. I miss her, but, I have to be strong for Addy.”

  “What was her name?” I asked, unsure if it was okay to ask, but really wanting to know.

  He sighed and rubbed his hands together. “Evelyn. It’ll be eight years in February since she died.”

  My head lowered in sadness. I looked down at my hands in my lap. “Poor Addy. I know what it feels like to not have that other half of a parent.” Without even thinking about it, I reached over and grabbed his hand. “But for what it’s worth, having just a dad that loves you with everything he has is okay. It’s enough.”

  I didn’t know what possessed me to do it, but it felt right.

  His hand was warm and sent tingles all the up my arm. It felt good to hold his hand longer than for just a second to shake. The roughness of them was comforting to me.

  Surprisingly, he didn’t yank his hand away like I expected him to. Instead, his fingers laced between mine. His hand fit perfectly with mine.

  “Thanks, Daisy. That actually helps.”

  Our eyes met and stayed locked on each other. Would I ever get tired of drowning in his gaze?

  “I’m all washed up!” Addy announced as she raced back into the room.

  Bastian and I broke apart quickly.

  “Who’s ready for pizza?” Addy asked excitedly as she jumped onto the couch. She leaned over to look at me past Bastian. “Are you staying for pizza, Daisy?”

  I looked uncertainly at Bastian.

  He gave me a grin that warmed every inch of me. I could feel that smile down in my bones.

  “Would you like to stay for pizza?” He asked me.

  “I had no clue this place had pizza. But, yes! I love pizza, so I’m in.”

  Addy jumped up and down. “Yay! Oooo! Daddy! Can we get extra pepperoni and sausage? Please?” She gave him the most adorable puppy dog eyes. I almost felt bad for him. Almost.

  “Yeah, I guess,” he gave an exaggerated reply. “Do you like pepperoni and sausage?” He asked me.

  “Love them.”

  When I answered him though, I wasn’t entirely sure I was talking about the choice in pizza toppings, since I’d been staring straight into his eyes.

  Addy and Bastian were so much fun when they were together.

  While we ate, Bastian had put on the movie Happy Feet for us to watch. It was one of Addy’s favorites as she so proudly stated. Bastian said it didn’t matter how many times she watched it, she always laughed at the funny parts just as hard as she had the first time she’d seen it.

  Every now and then from the corner of my eye, I’d see Bastian looking at me. Sometimes, I’d catch him and we’d share a smile before he’d avert his eyes again. But other times, I pretended I didn’t notice. It set my nerves on fire with the way he looked at me; with longing and almost hunger. It was hard to really get into the movie with Addy when that was all I could think about.

  I couldn’t believe how much pizza those two could put away. He had ordered two large pizzas, yet only two slices remained of them. I only ate two. They ate the rest. I’d understand his appetite with how big of a man he was, but Addy surprised me. I couldn’t imagine how much energy she must burn if she ate like that all time.

  When we were all done eating and the movie had ended, Bastian announced it was her bed time and excused himself so he could tuck her in.

  “I just have to read to her really quick, then I’ll be back if you’d like to stay a bit longer.”

  I couldn’t say no to the way his eyes seemed to plead for me to stay. I didn’t want to say no.

  “But I want Daisy to read me a story! Can she?” Addy asked, looking back and forth between me and Bastian.

  “Addy…”

  “Please?” She begged, giving both of us those puppy eyes.

  He looked at me in question.

  “I would love to if that’s what you really want,” I told her, feeling shocked by her wanting me to read to her.

  “Yay! You can read my favorite one!” She jumped from her seated position on the floor and raced towards the back hallway.

  Bastian and I chuckled at her as we followed.

  When we walked into her room, I gazed in wonder at the way it was decorated. Her room was practically a winter wonderland.

  The walls were a pale blue with large snowflakes painted in a scattered pattern. White twinkling lights were arranged in a massive ball shape that was wound around a light hanging from the ceiling. White curtains with glitter hung from her windows and her bed spread was a starry sky with the Aurora Borealis streaking through. Her stuffed animals consisted of pretty much any animal you’d find in arctic type weather; white foxes, buffalo, moose, penguins, and above all others, polar bears.

  I felt my inner child squeal a little. I would’ve loved to have this room when I was a little girl.

  “You have the most amazing room, Addy,” I told her as I slowly spun in a circle, taking in all the details.

  She hopped onto her bed with her book and smiled proudly up at me as I came to sit down next to her. “Thank you! Daddy painted the walls and made the lights.”

  “Well, your daddy did amazing. How long did that take you?” I asked Bastian as he took a seat on the other side of the bed.

  “I don’t wanna talk about how long it took. I still have nightmares about glue guns.” He gave an exaggerated shiver that made me and Addy giggle.

  I looked down at the book in her hands and froze. “That’s your favorite book?” I asked her.

  She nodded enthusiastically and handed me the book. “Yep! It’s about a little polar bear who feels like she doesn’t fit in and like she’s too small to do what all the bigger polar bears are doing.”

  I ran my hand along the cover. “I know what it’s about,” I whispered with a soft laugh. “I wrote this one.”

  Bastian and Addy looked up at me in surprise and their jaws dropped so low, they could practically t
ouch the floor.

  “Really?” She asked; her eyes widened to be as big as saucers.

  I laughed at their shocked expressions. “Really. D. Lennox is my pen name,” I replied, pointing to my name at the bottom of the cover.

  I could not believe that of all the books in the world that Addy could’ve called her favorite, it was this one. My book.

  I had written it after my first novel. The story popped into my head after a conversation I had with my dad about how I used to be smaller than the other kids in school. I would come home crying because the other kids picked on me. The illustrations were very simple, with just an outline of a polar bear and water color backgrounds. I was surprised by how many sales I got on it. And how much children loved my illustrations. I wasn’t much of a drawer, but that book had been dear to my heart and my favorite to write.

  Now here it was, in Canada, in the hands of a daughter to the guy I couldn’t stop thinking about.

  “We read that book at least three times a week. I didn’t even put two and two together with the last name.” Bastian’s face remained in a state of awe.

  Addy looked as if she would fall over.

  “This has definitely been the best day ever!” She finally said, her voice high pitched and excited.

  Bastian and I laughed. He grabbed the blankets and pulled them up over her, tucking in the sides tightly.

  I turned and settled myself with my back against her headboard, doing my best not to get emotional about the fact I was about to read my book to this sweet little girl. What made it harder to keep myself from tearing up, was when I opened the book and settled my free hand between Addy and me, her little pinky interlocked with mine.

  From the corner of my eye, I saw Bastian do a double-take at our hands. His face morphed from surprise, to something I couldn’t describe as anything other than absolute confusion. I didn’t understand what was so significant about it, but I dared not move my hand as Addy snuggled in close to me.

  I set the book up against my bent knees and turned to the first page.

  Then I read softly to the little angel next to me, while Bastian’s spellbinding, blue eyes watched me with rapt attention.