Missing

by Cathy MacPhail

  What he’d said upset her all day, and next day he was waiting at the school gates for her. She didn’t want to talk to him. She ran and hid behind the bus shelters until he’d gone. Maxine knew she shouldn’t blame him. She had asked him for advice. But – Derek not dead? That was impossible. Unthinkable.

  She’d never believe it.

  Home was miserable. The atmosphere was so thick with tension you could have cut it with the blunt edge of a ruler. They sat down to watch a video after tea and the tension was still there.

  Once, watching a video had been one of Maxine’s favourite family get-togethers. Mum would supply popcorn and choc ices and make a memory of it – one of Mum’s favourite expressions. She used to have such a fund of them. ‘Make today as good as it can possibly be and you’ve made a memory that can last for ever.’ She hadn’t made a memory, except painful ones, since Derek had gone.

  The video was boring anyway. Some tripe about a man who pretends to be a doctor, takes over someone else’s identity and ends up performing major surgery. What complete nonsense, Maxine thought. And she said so.

  ‘How could he take out someone’s appendix? He hasn’t even been trained.’

  ‘He learned from books,’ Dad explained. ‘During the war, you know, it wasn’t always doctors who performed operations. Lots of people had to work on emergency cases, working from textbooks.’

  ‘I don’t believe it either,’ Mum put in. ‘I don’t believe he could fool real doctors.’

  ‘But it’s a true story,’ Dad insisted, as if he was talking to a couple of idiots.

  In a way, Maxine thought, this was a bit like the old days. They could never watch a film without some kind of debate about it.

  Dad began to explain. ‘This man worked in a hospital for almost a year. No one suspected he was an impostor. It can happen. He behaved like a doctor. He looked like a doctor. Let’s face it –’ He began to laugh. ‘I bet if I put a stethoscope around my neck and wore a white coat I could pass for a doctor.’ He winked at Maxine and she giggled at the idea of it.

  ‘Now you come to mention it,’ Mum said thoughtfully. ‘The last time I was at the doctor’s I was giving this man all my symptoms, until he told me he was only painting the office.’

  And suddenly they were all laughing, just as they used to in the old days.

  It was an intrusion when the doorbell rang. Maxine didn’t want to lose this feeling.

  Dad switched off the video and Mum headed for the front door. A horrible, nightmarish thought struck Maxine. What if ... what if this boy who was pretending to be Derek was standing there on the doorstep? Derek, the way he had looked yesterday at the cemetery. Pale and drawn. Derek, and yet not Derek. She began to shiver. Mum couldn’t take that! Maxine stood up. Her legs felt shaky.

  ‘Maxine, are you all right? You’re chalk white.’

  ‘I don’t feel too well.’ She wanted to get to the front door before Mum, and already she knew it was too late. She could hear her mother turn the handle of the door.

  ‘Maxine?’ Her dad’s voice came to her through a haze, as if from a million miles away. All she could hear clearly was her mother pulling open the front door.

  ‘Maxine, sit down. You look about to faint!’ Her dad pushed her into a seat.

  She waited for her mother’s scream.

  ‘Miss Ross, how nice to see you.’

  Maxine sank back in the chair with relief.

  ‘I think we should get a doctor for Maxine,’ Dad said as Miss Ross and Mum came into the living room. ‘She almost fainted.’

  Miss Ross looked at her. ‘It’s actually Maxine I’ve come to talk about.’

  Maxine held her breath. She better not tell them she’d missed school again. She’d promised!

  She didn’t. ‘Maxine’s very worried about you, Mrs Moody.’

  Mum said brightly. ‘She needn’t worry about me. I’m fine ... now.’

  Now that Derek is with her, she meant.

  ‘We’re both worried about her, Miss Ross. But you try telling her that,’ Dad said. ‘She has to let Derek go. No wonder Maxine’s worried.’

  ‘I won’t let anyone take this away from me. Not my husband, not Maxine and certainly not you, Miss Ross.’

  ‘No one wants to take it away. But it isn’t healthy, and it isn’t helping Maxine.’

  Mum turned on Maxine angrily. ‘So, do all your teachers know our business?’ She didn’t give Maxine time to answer her; instead she ranted on. ‘Was this all planned? By both of you? What is this, gang-up-on-Mum night?’

  Now Dad was angry. ‘You have no right to say that, Gill.’

  ‘I have no right!’ Mum turned her fury on Miss Ross now. ‘Does no one understand what I’ve been going through? I never believed Derek was ...’ She bit her lip, still refusing to say the word. ‘And he was. Now, I know I have to come to terms with that. I’ve found a lifeline with this. Why does everyone want to snatch that lifeline away from me?’

  ‘Because it’s unhealthy!’ Dad shouted at her.

  ‘Nonsense!’

  ‘Gill, spiritualism is supposed to comfort you, but this isn’t comforting you. This is taking over your life.’

  ‘It hasn’t taken over my life.’

  Maxine jumped to her feet. ‘It has, Mum. I might as well not be here!’

  Mum looked at her as if she couldn’t understand what she was saying. ‘But Derek’s here too,’ she said at last. ‘I know he is. And that comforts me.’

  It was hopeless. She could never get through to her. ‘No, he is not! He’s not here. I’ve never understood why Derek ran away. But I do now. It was because he hated it here, almost as much as I do. I don’t blame him for running away!’

  c

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Maxine ran to her room crying, knowing she’d hurt her mother and not caring. Miss Ross stayed on. She could hear her low, murmuring voice downstairs talking to Mum, comforting her.

  But was that why Derek had run away? In spite of all her parents’ efforts, Sweeney had never stopped tormenting him. And when he had begun to fight back, he’d been classed as the troublemaker. Their parent’s sympathy for Derek had turned to anger as he got into more trouble. Had he done all that to get their attention, just as Maxine was doing? And when even that hadn’t worked, had he gone? She had hated him then. Hated the hurt he was causing her mum and dad. Yet she could still remember times when Derek would come into her room and spend hours helping her with homework or showing new ways to work on his computer. So which one was the real Derek?

  She tried to remember now the day he left. An ordinary breakfast, or so it had seemed at the time. Yet he’d been shouting at her, calling her names. She had tried to punch him and she’d fallen off the stool. Mum had comforted her, been annoyed at Derek.

  ‘What’s wrong with you this morning?’ she had shouted, not waiting for an answer. ‘You’re even worse than usual. I’m so sick of this, Derek!’

  ‘No one ever listens!’ he had yelled at her. ‘Why don’t any of you ever listen to me?’

  How often had Maxine thought that too?

  And Derek had grabbed his rucksack and gone. That was the last she had ever seen of him. His last look at her had been an angry glare. Her last gesture had been to stick out her tongue at him in defiance. The last words his mother had spoken to him had been a threat. ‘Your dad and I are going to have to speak to you about your behaviour.’

  No wonder her mother grieved so much for him. It was guilt. Guilt that perhaps that threat had been the last straw. Derek hadn’t come home, and now he never would.

  Did Mum really blame herself for his going? Or, even worse – did she blame Maxine? That would account for a lot of things.

  There was a soft tapping on the bedrom door. ‘Maxine, can I come in?’ It was Miss R
oss, and now it was Maxine’s turn to be comforted.

  ‘How are you?’ she asked gently, sitting on the bed.

  ‘Is Mum okay?’ That was all Maxine wanted to know.

  ‘I’ve had a word with her. I know it’s hard for you. But you have to be very grown-up about this. Give her a little more time. Derek’s dead, and she’s doing her best to come to terms with with it.’ Miss Ross touched her hand, squeezed it. ‘There’s something you’re not telling me. I’m here to help you. You must trust me.’

  Miss Ross would know what to do. She needed someone sensible, like Miss Ross. Miss Ross liked her, whereas she wasn’t sure that Cam did. Oh, she was so mixed up!

  ‘You’ll think I’m crazy. It sounds crazy.’

  Miss Ross moved closer to her, intrigued. ‘Tell me, Maxine.’

  Maxine sighed. ‘Things have happened. Things I don’t understand. Strange things ...’

  It was right at that moment the door opened and Dad came in. He noted the glance that passed between them both. ‘Am I interrupting something? Girl talk, eh? Will I go?’

  He was trying to be light-hearted, but Maxine could tell he needed to talk just as much as she had. ‘No, Dad, come in.’

  Miss Ross couldn’t quite hide her disappointment. She stood up, reluctant to go. Maxine could understand that. She hated it when, just at the most exciting part of a programme, there was a commercial break. Or at an edge-of-your-seat part of a story, the end of a chapter. This was a commercial break.

  ‘Maybe I could come and see you in the morning?’ Maxine said softly.

  Miss Ross smiled and patted her hand. ‘Yes. You can talk to me in the morning.’

  ‘I’ll see Miss Ross out,’ Dad said, ‘and then ...’

  Maxine leapt out of bed. She felt better already. ‘I’ll go downstairs. Maybe we can even finish watching that rotten video.’

  Mum had gone to bed. They were alone. They didn’t talk. But for that one night she felt closer to Dad than she had done for a long time.

  Mum didn’t appear for breakfast next morning, and Dad didn’t comment on that. He went off to work with a promise from Maxine that she wouldn’t dawdle or be late for school.

  Maxine had no intention of dawdling. She was looking forward to seeing Miss Ross and getting all of this off her chest.

  Dad had gone and Maxine was just about to leave when the phone rang. She stopped for a moment, holding the front door open, wondering whether to answer it or not. Her curiosity won, and she lifted the receiver. She was ready to shout, to scream if it was that husky, whispered voice again. But she didn’t get the chance.

  ‘Maxie, don’t hang up please! You have to meet me. You have to let me explain. Meet me. Please. In St Jude’s after school. I know you go there. I’ve watched you.’ There was a sudden, sharp intake of breath. ‘Someone’s coming. I have to go. Don’t tell anyone. Anyone! Promise.’

  And the line went dead.

  c

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  She didn’t believe it. She wouldn’t believe it. She wanted to cry out, to call Mum. Ask her what to do. But Mum was still in bed. She was upset, and this would only upset her more. It was a hoax. It had to be. Ghosts don’t make phone calls. She had to hang on to that.

  No. This was no ghost. And it wasn’t Derek. Derek was dead and buried and he would never come back. Dad had identified the body. She’d been to the funeral. She’d even cried.

  No. This wasn’t Derek. Alive or dead, even Derek could never be this mean.

  This was someone who hated her. Who was trying to frighten her with this cruel trick? Sweeney? Sweeney and cruelty went together.

  But whoever was doing this wanted to meet her in the church. Would Sweeney risk entering the house of God? She didn’t think so. Somehow she was sure that Sweeney, like Dracula, would dissolve if he ever ventured inside a church. But whoever it was knew she went there. He’d watched her – hadn’t she always felt someone was watching her? Well, she would meet him. In fact, once she’d made the decision, she couldn’t wait to meet him. And when she did ... she would have a surprise ready for him. He was going to be really sorry he’d ever tried to trick Maxine Moody.

  Miss Ross was waiting for her when she came out of the history class. Maxine had almost forgotten her promise to tell her everything. There was so much more to tell now.

  ‘Don’t tell anyone,’ he had pleaded.

  Whoever it was wanted to get her on her own, to frighten her. He thought she’d be walking into a trap, but she would have a little surprise up her sleeve.

  ‘We can talk in the staffroom.’ Miss Ross was ushering her in with a smile.

  She could trust Miss Ross. However (all these thought tumbled through her head in a millionth of a second), if she told her about the latest phone call, she’d try to stop her meeting in the church. She’d point out the dangers. Or want to go with her. No. This was something she was going to handle on her own.

  ‘I really don’t have time this morning, Miss Ross,’ she said, trying to dodge past her.

  Miss Ross looked puzzled. ‘You have a free period right now. I checked.’ She took her by the elbow, gently but firmly. ‘Come on. Into the staffroom. I’ll make you some tea.’

  ‘I really can’t this morning.’ She searched her mind for some reason, couldn’t think of any.

  ‘I think you need to talk about this, Maxine.’ Miss Ross gave her a gentle push towards the open staffroom door.

  Just then Maxine caught sight of Cam coming out of one of the classrooms. ‘I promised I’d meet Cam.’ She started to wave frantically at him, trying to catch his attention. Please, don’t ignore me, she prayed.

  ‘Cam! Cam! Over here.’

  Cam looked up, as baffled as Miss Ross. ‘Me?’

  Maxine pulled herself free of her teacher. ‘I’ll have to go.’

  Miss Ross frowned. ‘I don’t understand you, Maxine.’

  She so wanted her to understand. ‘Give me a couple of days, Miss Ross, then maybe I’ll really have something to tell you.’

  She began to hurry down the corridor towards Cam. Miss Ross called after her, ‘You’re up to something, Maxine. What is it?’

  She pretended not to hear, and almost knocked Cam off his feet. ‘What on earth’s got into you?’

  She began to giggle. ‘Miss Ross is now convinced you’re my boyfriend.’

  Cam looked horrified. He stuck two fingers down his throat and pretended to be sick.

  ‘Ha! You should be so lucky!’ Maxine said. Miss Ross still stood outside the staffroom watching them both with interest.

  Maxine waved at her, and muttered out of the side of her mouth, ‘Look as if you’re asking me out for a date.’

  Cam started to laugh. Maxine was quite annoyed, and amazed. She’d never seen Cam laugh before. ‘I don’t see what’s so funny,’ she said. However, something convinced Miss Ross, for with a shrug of her shoulders she disappeared into the staffroom.

  ‘I mean, asking you for a date? Come on! I’d have to be desperate.’

  Maxine stamped on his feet and began to walk away. ‘See you, Cam. You can be really insulting at times.’

  He followed her, still laughing. ‘Come on, Maxine, I wanted to talk to you anyway. To apologise.’

  Maxine could hardly believe her ears. ‘What? You apologise to me?’

  Cam shrugged. ‘Yes, you asked me to help you, and I wasn’t much help, was I? I’m sorry.’

  ‘No, you were not. But it’s all right now,’ Maxine said calmly. ‘I know someone is playing tricks on me.’

  Something in her tone made Cam immediately suspicious. ‘Has something happened?’

  She longed to tell him. He was the one person she could tell. But she knew what would happen if she did. He – like Miss Ross – would take over the whole
thing. He was a boy, after all, and older than she was. That was what he would say. That she shouldn’t go alone. That she shouldn’t go at all.

  No way!

  She wanted to tell him, but she wouldn’t. Not this time. Not until it was all over. She would be able to tell him who it was who had been making those phone calls.

  ‘Something has happened,’ he said, knowing by her hesitation it was true. ‘Another phone call? Have you seen him again?’

  She started to run off down the corridor. ‘Phone me tonight, Cam. I’ll have something to tell you. I promise.’

  And she would have something to tell him. Because today, after school, she was going to meet the mysterious boy who was pretending to be Derek.

  c

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  St Judes’s was empty when she went in, its side altars dark and gloomy. There was something comforting about a church in the afternoon. She closed the door quietly behind her and stood for a moment listening to the muted sounds of the traffic outside. She could be a million miles from everything in here. It was so quiet. The only sound she could hear inside was the sound of her own breathing.

  Well, she was here. But was anyone else?

  Her footsteps clattered on the tiled floor, echoing up into the high roof. A shaft of sunlight suddenly shone through the stained-glass window and sent myriad colours all around the church. Then a cloud obscured the sun again and the church seemed darker than ever.

  Maxine knelt by the glowing candles at St Anthony’s altar. There was no one here in the church. She was sure of it. Perhaps she had been a fool to come. She glanced at her watch. She would wait ten minutes, she decided, and if no one had come by then, she would go.

  She looked up at the face of St Anthony. The flickering flames made the statue seem almost alive, his eyes watching her. Even blinking now and then. She wasn’t afraid of him, standing there in his alcove, cradling the Baby Jesus. He’d always been her favourite.