Revealing A Marchioness's Heart (The Chronicles of Loyalty)

by Jessie Bennett

  This wouldn’t be like last time, or the time before that, when he had basically given up on anything but breathing. He needed to be strong, had to keep it together, because Nora’s very life hung in the balance. He had failed Mary, and she was gone, but he would not fail Nora.

  “Alexander,” Ricardo’s voice broke through his thoughts and he awoke to see his best friend hovering right in front of him in the dying twilight. By comparison, Ricardo somehow looked clean, healthy. His skin glowed, healthy and white, and his smile, although tight, shone with the light of those that were happy. “Communing with the trees?”

  “So what if I am?” Alexander groused, making Ricardo raise an eyebrow.

  “You’re welcome too. Supper is ready, though, and if you think you’re going to get away with not eating any, you clearly are having memory loss.”

  Alexander mirrored his expression, his body tense. Ricardo’s other nasty habit, aside from touch, was continuously making sure his brothers in arms were well fed and fortified for the days ahead. Ricardo was also extremely smart, and it only took him once of asking Alexander about food to figure out that he was usually lying about when he’d last eaten.

  “Not unless you want to have your cooking splayed on the forest floor,” he grunted and Ricardo cocked his head in sympathy.

  “That bad already?”

  Alexander glanced at the sky, turning to darkness as the sun slipped away. “It’s get faster every time. I was…I don’t care, Ricardo, if the two of you see me reduced to ….needing a drink, but Nora has a memory of me that I wouldn’t like tarnished so easily.” Ricardo shifted his footing. “She remembers you as Marques. Guards are a much different lifestyle, she will learn that. Wasn’t it you who told me she is stronger than I think?”

  “But not like this,” Alexander shook his head. “I’ll be a little ways away tonight, in the forest, and perhaps dawn will bring some peace to my head.”

  “You know it will not,” Ricardo replied, and touched his arm. “Besides, there is a danger to you being alone when the liquor leaves your system, and I don’t want to risk it. She’ll have to know, sooner or later. You won’t be able to hide it on the ride.”

  “For a scrap of dignity, I beg you,” Alexander growled, meeting his eyes. “There is nothing left of that life, save that child’s illusion of it. I shouldn’t like to burst it so soon.”

  Ricardo considered this. He had healer training, and he knew the dangers of alcohol withdrawal, especially in one who was as addicted as his best friend was. However, for Nora’s sake, he agreed. “At least come sit with us during the meal. You want to maintain the illusion of normalcy; I can help you only so far.”

  Alexander agreed to that, swallowing hard to fight the rising nausea. After a moment or two, he followed Ricardo back to the camp. Nora had a piece of string wrapped around her fingers, teaching Peter a complicated string game that she had always favored. Peter looked positively confused by the ins and outs of the string, but he at least sported a huge grin on his face as he tried to take it from her lithe fingers.

  “You always were a tangled mess,” Ricardo teased him in English as they both took their places by the fire.

  Nora felt relaxed with the three of them by her side, calm and controlled. She fell into a deep sleep easily when the fire was partially doused, her steady breathing bringing peace to the air around them.

  Alexander offered to take the night’s watch, convinced he wouldn’t get any sleep anyway. When the symptoms started, he knew he was in for his own personal hell.

  Sitting on a rock on the edge of the forest as the others slept, his head in his heads, he could still see Mary in his mind’s eye. Her dark hair, her slim face with huge eyes, the way a smile lit up everything. He could see the way the light caught her eyes, the way she looked in the early dawn, like a goddess. Moreover, he could see an earlier version of himself, a younger happy version, holding her after a long day in bed, convinced that his world was perfect. He had loved that woman within an inch of his life, and the only thing that kept him going was the thought that someday, somewhere, he’d find her.

  His teeth were already clenched when the scream broke through the air, and he nearly broke his jaw, startling into wakefulness enough to fly across to Nora’s side. She screamed like she was being murdered, like someone was attacking her, and his heart plummeted into his chest. He had been in a half dream world of the day he’d left his estate for good, and in his dream, it was the same day Nora’s palace burned. Confused, disoriented, and sweating buckets, he somehow managed to grab her before Ricardo could even roll over.

  “Nora!” He realized quickly that she wasn’t in danger, although it would take him all night to calm down from the adrenaline. It was just a bad dream, like the ones he had nightly. “Nora, hush, it’s okay, Nora!”

  Her eyes flew open to meet his, and her breathing came quickly as she forced her brain to focus on the things around her. It was confusing to her, at first, that Alexander was there, and then she remembered where she was and what was happening.

  On her other side, Ricardo sat looking at her with concern, but mostly observation. The first night of withdrawal was so much worse for Alexander, and yet, here he was, focused on Nora. Perhaps, despite what she reminded him of, this girl was good for him after all. Peter was drawing his sword in reflex, but Ricardo pushed his arm down, shaking his head.

  “You’re fine,” Alexander was saying to her. “You’re fine. It’s kay, it’s just a dream.”

  “Are you okay?” she asked when she could finally speak, her eyes searching his pale face. Her heart was still beating fast, but she was more concerned with his appearance than her own anxiety. She had been dreaming of the fire as well, the day the men had come with torches, the screams of her mother. Nora could move forward with her life, but she could never forget those moments.

  “You’re the one screaming at night and you’re concerned about whether I’m okay?” he sat back on his haunches as she pulled herself up to sit.

  She glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. “So what if I am?”

  “That attitude you surely taught her,” Ricardo couldn’t help but interject, and Nora turned her head toward him, as if noticing him for the first time. Ricardo shook his head with a smile, dismissing his joke as Alexander tried to get his breathing under control.

  After a few moments, he spoke again, glancing up at Nora through a mess of tousled hair. “Seriously, Nora, are you alright?”

  “I’m fine,” she answered, shaking her head and shaking away the dark memories as much as she could. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle everyone.”

  “Just a nice reminder to be alert,” Ricardo said softly, and settled back down, indicating that the others should do the same.

  Nora reached out for Alexander’s hand, clearly wanting reassurance that he was close by.

  However, he couldn’t stay with her, not now, not when he was feeling like this. His body ached and her face was a reminder of what could have been. Had he and Mary been in the house that day, perhaps the riders would never have come for her. Perhaps Nora’s life would be very different and she wouldn’t be sleeping on a forest floor, camped like a gypsy. He pulled his hand away, running the other through his hair as he turned to go.

  Her quiet voice cut through the now silent air. “You can go,” she said softly. “Just don’t go far from me.”

  His heart nearly broke and he didn’t turn back to look at her. He had failed this child and his wife, and there was nothing he wouldn’t give right now for a bottle of rum to take him to oblivion.

  The tremors of withdrawal started around three in the morning, about when he’d predicted they would. He gripped the ground underneath him to fight them silently, knowing they would come and go. The temperature had dropped significantly, and while he felt the cold, he couldn’t stop the sweats that came. He wondered if he was going to throw up now, or if it would wait until morning.

  Bushes crackled to his left and all the hairs on h
is neck stood on guard. “Ricardo,” he said in relief as he recognized his friend’s movements. “What are you doing up?”

  “I couldn’t sleep,” Ricardo lied through his teeth, coming to sit half a foot away from him. “And you’re making enough noise to scare away the bears.”

  “I am?” Alexander hadn’t realized his chattering teeth were audible anywhere but inside his own head. He sniffled; his nose always ran when this happened.

  “Don’t worry about it, perhaps I just know what to listen for,” Ricardo replied. “How are you doing?”

  Alexander shook his head. “It will be bad this time, I can tell you that. If we push on tomorrow, perhaps reach the castle by dusk…”

  “We can try,” Ricardo replied. “If Nora can handle it.”

  Something went off in Alexander’s fogged brain. “Ricardo, Nora must have a noble marriage, no matter what…transpires with you.”

  “Of course I know that,” Ricardo replied. “That is the burden of you nobles, to marry without love. It’s always been that way.”

  His head felt like lead, but he dragged it in his best friend’s direction in disbelief anyway. “Tell me that what you feel for Nora right now isn’t more than a fling, temporary.”

  Ricardo took a beat too long answering. “I don't know.”

  “You can’t,” Alexander gritted his teeth. “You can’t do this.”

  “I’m doing nothing, old man,” Ricardo replied, uncharacteristically snarly. “Let it be; you’re hallucinating.”

  Alexander fell silent, not wanting to fight this battle right now. However, something deep in his heart sunk at this prospect. It was more than the fact that Ricardo was not a suitable match for Nora in the long run. It was the fact that he himself had made a noble marriage on less, and he wouldn’t wish the effects of it on either of them. He couldn’t let them go what he went through; he wouldn’t wish this on his worst enemy.

  The withdrawals were bad, but he sometimes felt that it was nothing more than he deserved. Surely, God Himself was trying to smite him for whatever sins he had committed. He hung his head against his chest, falling into silence, save for the teeth chattering. Ricardo’s presence was of little comfort when he knew it was going to lead to destruction. Perhaps even Nora’s salvation was too late, with Ricardo’s eyes on her.

  It came to him around dawn. He had thought his mind wasn't clear; that the withdrawal was too heavy. However, the truth was, it was clearer that it had been in a long time. “We don't have to carry on,” Alexander said as they started to pack up camp. “Not to make you a noble marriage.”

  Nora stopped moving, as if the hand of ice had touched her. She turned around, albeit cautiously. “What are you talking about?”

  “You know what I'm talking about,” Alexander said. “I think it's been coming to this all along. You need a noble marriage, and I have failed you in making sure you were happy and protected. It won't happen again.”

  “Alexander...” She bit her tongue. “Are you suggesting...”

  “I can marry you,” he said, and even Peter dropped his bag. “Although it will not be the love match you desire. But I can marry you, and I can give you whatever it is that will make you happy,” he said and glanced at Ricardo. “Because, Nora, you have been unhappy for far too long, and some of that is my fault.”

  Nora glanced between him and Ricardo. “I...”

  “If we marry,” Alexander said. “Your lands are protected, as is your title, and mine. We can take up a life in the countryside, or we can live in the city. As long as we are discreet...”

  “My God,” Ricardo finally blurted out. “Are you serious?”

  “Would it be the first noble marriage of convenience and not of love?” Alexander asked. “There is no other solution here that will bring happiness and all of you know it. I have been miserable, Nora, you have been miserable, and Ricardo, you have finally realized that your heart may not be split in several places.”

  “We would have to go to the king.” Ricardo was even afraid to move. Then, an idea came to him. “And I know just the guard who has the ear of the king. Jerrico and the king go everywhere together. The king will listen to him. He could be our ally in this.”

  “This is so...” Nora finally burst into a grin. “This is...”

  “Perfect,” Alexander said to her. “For I will never love again. Moreover, my duty, outside of Mary, was to protect you. So I can fulfill that at least, even if I am good for nothing else.”

  She wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him tightly. He kissed the top of her head, sadness and happiness crashing into each other.

  “You’d better be true,” he said to Ricardo as Nora let go of Alexander and went to hug her lover. “Because I will end you if you are not.”

  “This is the best plan you've come up with, sober or drunk,” Ricardo grinned. “And I'm always a fan of good plans.”

  “So, to the future,” Peter said, handing around water skins. It was the best toast they could manage.

  “And to hope,” Nora replied. She hoped it would work out, of course. However, the most important thing in the world to her right now was that she had hope. She had come to the city with nothing, with a broken soul to match Alexander's. Now there was hope for a new start, a new beginning. For once, she couldn't wait to see what the new day would bring.

  With hope, with love, she knew they could conquer everything.

  PART THREE

  CAN SHE ESCAPES DANGER WITH LOVE?

  ____________________________________

  Nora

  &

  Alexander

  ____________________________________

  “Who is he?” Nora asked for the first time.

  “I’ve never known a lady to get a dress on by herself. Especially one of noble birth.”

  She sighed. “That’s not the way nobles work, you know that.”

  “I do,” he answered. “And I always thought that the way nobles worked needed some repair.”

  “The horror! We must rescue her.”

  PROLOGUE

  It was astonishing, really, how quickly hope could vanish. Marchioness Nora had experienced hope vanishing many times in her life, but never so badly as the past few years.

  Six years ago, Nora had had everything at her disposal. She lived on a huge estate that she would inherit when her father passed away. She had wonderful servants, many suitors, and beauty beyond any girl in the region. In the neighboring property, she had Alexander and Mary, who were her guardians, Lord and Lady in their own right. She was happy. However, it had all come tumbling down, and very quickly.

  Mary died, and Alexander vanished. A fire swept through her estate, taking her family and leaving her scarred. There were many who felt like she shouldn't inherit the estate, and they expressed their displeasure by making attacks on her life. They were so frequent that Nora felt like she couldn't even dine in her own banquet hall.

  That was the first time she’d felt hopeless.

  Luckily, the king knew of her plight and eventually, he brought her to the city to find her a husband.

  Everything changed in the city. She found Alexander working as a King's Guard, and she found out that Mary was not dead after all. They had fought and Mary had fled, giving Nora hope that they might meet again someday.

  She met Ricardo, another guard, fell in love, and for a moment, there was hope. There was hope that she could marry Alexander and that he would forever protect her, and satisfy the king's request for a noble marriage. She and Alexander had no romantic love between them, and there was hope that he might let her be with Ricardo, whose head had been turned by many ladies before, but never like this. Life could work out.

  However, the king had denied that request, and everything fell apart again. She and Ricardo were forced to hide their love. Alexander took to the bottle again, suffering terrible withdrawals while they were on the road, and Nora felt that all hope was gone. She would never be happy in this arrangement.

  Yet,
the king had ordered them to another quest, another castle, another potential husband, and she could say nothing to do things differently. She barely noticed the hard ride out, the nights on the cold ground, or the cold dawns.

  She barely noticed when they were almost there, riding with Alexander's broken heart, Ricardo's turned down head, and their friend Peter's cautious smile. Everything was broken, and she longed for hope again.

  1

  CHAPTER ONE

  They rode hard the next morning in order to reach the castle by nightfall. The hard pace made everyone sweat, but it hid Alexander’s trembling hands. He didn’t trust himself to hold Nora on the horse, and she wasn’t too disappointed to ride with Ricardo’s strong body pressed up against hers. When the castle appeared in the distance, she felt slightly disappointed in realizing that this whole journey could potentially be over. She knew that what she had with Ricardo could never be in the real world, but the fake world that they had enjoyed on the road was a nice break. In addition, potentially, if this didn’t turn out, it didn’t have to be over.

  “Who is he?” Nora asked for the first time. It hadn’t mattered to her this whole time who the man was. He was another lord, another potential who would stare at her scars or plot ways to kill her after they were married.

  “Baron Vanters,” Alexander said gruffly as they slowed their horses.

  Nora choked. “A Baron?” she said in disbelief, drawing herself up to full height on the horse. She was Marchioness, and the most powerful one in the country. A baron was far beneath her.

  Alexander only raised an eyebrow. “A good friend of the king who he thinks will keep you safe. These walls are fortified beyond anything else in the country, so nothing will breach them. You could be very safe here.”