When I'm Gone_A heart-wrenching romance story that will make you believe in true love

by Jaxson Kidman

  “My best friend committed suicide when we were thirteen. Everything that happened, I could have stopped. But I didn’t. I didn’t pay attention in the right way until it was too late.”

  “Oh, Kace,” Sienna said. “I’m so sorry. I…”

  I put a hand up. “I’m not done yet.”

  “Okay. Go ahead.”

  “I want to take you out to dinner. Tonight. No. Right now.”

  “What?” she asked, surprised.

  “You heard what I said.”

  “Right now?”

  “Right now.”

  “I need to get changed at least. I look like hell.”

  “You look beautiful, Sienna. But I’ll be waiting right here when you’re ready.”

  “I never said yes…”

  “I didn’t ask. I told you.” I grinned.

  Her cheeks turned a deeper shade of red.

  “Okay,” she said. “Give me like five minutes.”

  I nodded.

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “Don’t worry, darlin’, I have a place in mind.”

  The second I pulled into the parking lot of the semi-fancy Italian restaurant, Sienna turned and I felt the anger shoot out of those pretty hazel eyes and hit my face.

  “Kace.”

  “Trust me,” I said.

  “No. I’m not going in there.”

  “Why not? You don’t work there anymore.”

  “After what happened, you’re taking me here? Are you crazy? Or just a jerk?”

  “A little of both,” I said as I parked the truck. “But I need you to trust me for a second.”

  “Trust you.”

  “You trusted me before. With your life actually. Now I’m just asking you to have dinner with me.”

  “At the worst possible restaurant in the world.”

  “I know,” I said. “But you have to trust me on this.”

  I watched as she looked out the passenger window. She cringed and shook her head.

  “She’s here tonight.”

  “Who?”

  “Daisy. The owner’s daughter.”

  “Even more of a reason to go in there with me.” I reached for her hand. “Hey. Look at me. We go in there and sit down and have a great dinner. Show everyone that you’re just fine without the place. Plus, you’re the customer now. You make the rules. We can send our food back three times. We can trash the table. We can leave no tip.”

  “Kace, that only hurts the people I worked with,” Sienna said. “They didn’t do anything to me. It was her. That fucking bitch. Forever telling me I was ugly or picking things out that were wrong with me. Throwing that tray of food at me. I don’t think…”

  “You’re stronger than you think. Trust me.”

  Sienna sighed. “You said something to me before you said that we were going out for dinner. It was pretty big, Kace. I haven’t said anything about it though.”

  “I know,” I said. “I’ll tell you everything at some point. I promise. I just wanted to get that off my chest. I’m not some asshole looking to save you and get in your pants. There was a reason why I grabbed you that night on the roof, and a reason why I ran after you that second night.”

  “You saved me because you couldn’t save someone else.”

  “In a way, yeah.”

  “That sort of makes me feel worse.”

  “I’m sorry. But I’m glad I got to know you. We talk. We’re hanging out.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Let’s go and get a bite to eat.”

  I got out of the truck and walked around to Sienna’s side. I led the way into the restaurant and we were seated at a table for two. It was a cozy and almost romantic place. A candle was on the table between us, the small flame gently flickering. A fake rose was in a skinny bottle off to the side.

  “Ohmygod, Sienna,” someone said.

  “Oh, hey, Ash,” Sienna said to the waitress standing at the table.

  “How are you? We miss you here.”

  “I miss being here,” Sienna said. She shrugged her shoulders.

  “The witch is here tonight too,” Ash said and shook her head. She looked at me. “Hey.”

  “Hey there,” I said.

  Ash looked at Sienna, eyes wide.

  I just smirked, watching the color creep across Sienna’s face.

  “We’re going to make this simple,” I said. “Two glasses of soda and bring us the biggest orders of pasta and sauce you can get.”

  “Okay,” Ash said.

  I looked at Sienna and nodded.

  Trust me.

  Sienna smiled. “Sounds good to me.”

  “I will go and get this order in and be back. I would stay and chat, but if Daisy sees me…”

  “I understand,” Sienna said.

  “Thanks,” I said to Ash.

  She walked away and I leaned forward, pushing the candle out of the way.

  “You like her?” I asked Sienna.

  “I know her. I know everyone here, obviously. Some are good. Some aren’t. That’s the way life goes.”

  “But this Daisy woman is the worst?”

  “Yeah. She’s the worst.”

  “Okay. Point her out.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me, darlin’. Point her out.”

  I could see that Sienna wanted to shake her head and tell me no, but there was also this fire in her eyes. A fire that I could only assume had been really damn close to being extinguished for good. In life there was right and wrong. There was a line between the two that you could walk. But sometimes, you just had to do whatever the fuck you wanted to feel good about yourself.

  Slowly, Sienna started to eye the restaurant.

  “There,” she said. “Standing near the bar. The expensive white sweater thing that looks like old skin rolled up into itself.”

  I laughed and followed her gaze.

  The second I saw Daisy, I knew the kind of person she was. Living the good life off her parents’ dime, thinking she knew what hard work was because she wiped down ten tables one time during the summer, because her father wanted to make her understand responsibility. And she treated everyone like shit because she could. I watched as she walked toward the kitchen and stood there, waiting for someone to come out. When a waitress did, Daisy said something to her that made her face red and made the poor waitress look ready to cry.

  That was all I needed to see to know that I was right.

  “Okay, forget about her for a second,” I said. “Let’s enjoy our date.”

  “Date?” Sienna asked. “This is a date?”

  “Yeah. Nice restaurant. You look beautiful. I’m charming.”

  “Whoa there,” Sienna said. “I think you’re oh-for-three on that one, Kace.”

  “Ouch,” I said. “See, I don’t get that.”

  “Get what?”

  “How you can look in the mirror and not see beauty.”

  “Oh God, please don’t do this. Don’t do the beautiful thing to me, Kace. Please.”

  “Okay,” I said. “Let’s talk about the other night then.”

  “Can we talk about how beautiful you think I am?” she asked, quickly. She offered a weak smile and shrugged her shoulders.

  “Sienna…”

  “No,” she said. “You tell me about you. I feel like I’ve exposed enough of myself by doing what I did.”

  “You already know everything about me.”

  “Oh? What? That you collect junk? You fix it up and sell it? You help your friend paint?”

  “Exactly,” I said. “I’m actually a really boring person when you get to know me.”

  “Then I’d better order some coffee.”

  I laughed again. “You’re quick, Sienna. I like that about you.”

  “Why junk?”

  “Why not? Leftover stuff, left behind, but it still has a purpose. Plus, people love it. It’s not as romantic as you’d think.”

  “Sorry, but junk isn’t romantic to me at all.”
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  “Fair enough,” I said. “You hate my job. You hated your job and quit. You’re really picky, you know that?”

  Sienna’s cheeks turned red. “Kace…”

  I reached across the table. “Darlin’, I’m messing with you. You do what makes you happy in life. Fuck this place if that’s how they treat you. You know? What do you like to do for fun? Or what’s your dream job?”

  “My dream job? I don’t know.”

  “You don’t know? Come on. You have to have some kind of dream job.”

  “Right now, no.”

  “So what do you think about at night?”

  “What?”

  “It’s ten at night. You’re relaxing in bed. You’re thinking about life. Not the normal shit in life. But the dreams. What are you dreaming of?”

  Sienna slowly shook her head. “I don’t know, Kace. I kind of don’t…”

  I watched the look on her face.

  She really didn’t think or dream about anything in life.

  “You wake up tomorrow with a million dollars in your bank account,” I said. “What are you going to do?”

  “Are you giving me a million dollars?” she asked.

  The quickness made me grin.

  “No, darlin’, I’m not.”

  “So why think about it?” she asked.

  “Because it’s fun.”

  “What would you do with it?”

  “Buy that house I showed you,” I said.

  “The Wethen House.”

  “You remember.”

  “Yeah,” she said. “I was enjoying my night on the roof and some guy started bothering me.”

  “Just looking out for you,” I said.

  Ash came to the table with our drinks and food.

  “Sorry,” she said. “It’s a little hectic tonight. You-know-who has everyone flustered.”

  “Speaking of her,” I said, snapping my fingers. “Can you send her over, please?”

  “What?” Ash asked.

  “I want to speak with her.”

  Ash looked at Sienna.

  “Don’t look at her,” I said. “I’m asking you to please get Daisy. She’s the manager and I’d like to speak with her.”

  “Right. I’ll be right back then.”

  Ash walked away and Sienna looked right at me. “What are you doing?”

  “Nothing,” I said. “Just want to talk to the manager about the quality of food and service here.”

  “Kace…”

  I leaned forward and gritted my teeth. “Darlin’, you can’t keep shit held up inside. Now, you have every right to sit there and throw words at me. You can tell me I don’t know much about you. You can put up a wall. You can get defensive all you want. That’s fine. See, I have nothing to lose here. I did what I did to help you because it mattered to me.”

  “Because you compared me to someone else.”

  “Maybe my actions did, but not my heart, Sienna. The second I looked into your eyes, I knew something was there. That the person on the roof wasn’t who you wanted to be.”

  “So you just know everything then? You just walk into someone’s life and think you own it?”

  “Nope,” I said. “I’m just going to take care of some unfinished business here and then we’re going to leave. I’ll take you back to your place, drop you off, and that’s that.”

  “What does…”

  I saw Daisy approaching the table and I stood up.

  She had a really nasty look on her face, like a how dare you question the restaurant or its food kind of thing.

  “Are you Daisy?” I asked.

  “Yes I am. And you are?”

  I looked at Sienna. I saw the anger on her face, but she was holding it all back. Sucking it deep down inside.

  When Daisy looked at Sienna, she scoffed. “You. You quit.”

  “You made me quit,” Sienna said.

  “Is that what this is? You’re here to start trouble?”

  “No,” Sienna said.

  “I’m here to talk about this food we ordered,” I said. I slipped my hand under the warm plate of sauce smothered spaghetti.

  “What about it?”

  “Is this homemade sauce?”

  “Of course it is,” Daisy said. “Family recipe.”

  “That’s good. Nothing worse than fake crap.”

  “Is there something wrong with your order? I have about a hundred tables to look after, including several waitresses. And we’re actually short staffed…”

  Daisy looked at Sienna and curled her lip.

  Sienna finally stood up.

  “You threw food at me,” Sienna said. “You had no reason to do that.”

  “I had plenty of reasons,” Daisy said. “And considering what happened after that… I knew you were always a little strange.”

  Oh shit…

  I looked at the plate of spaghetti in my hand and then I looked at Daisy.

  “There’s a hair in my food,” I said.

  “What?” Daisy asked. “Impossible. Where? Show me?”

  “Here,” I said and nodded.

  Daisy leaned forward a little. “I don’t see it.”

  “Get closer,” I said.

  Daisy looked up at me and curled her lip.

  So I stepped toward her.

  Except… whoops… I tripped.

  And the plate of spaghetti went flying at Daisy.

  I heard Sienna gasp before Daisy let out a noise. She just stood there, frozen, her hands slightly up, staring forward in shock as sauce and spaghetti dripped down her white sweater. Honestly, I couldn’t have asked for a better piece of clothing to ruin than what she wore.

  “Oh, no,” I said. “Look what I’ve done. I’m such a klutz.”

  “Holy shit,” Sienna said.

  I saw three waitresses, all standing nearby with their jaws almost on the floor.

  “You did that on purpose,” Daisy said.

  “I did not,” I said. “I asked you to get closer. To see the hair in my food. I tripped. I’m really sorry.”

  Daisy looked at Sienna. “You fucking bitch.”

  “Excuse me?” Sienna asked.

  “You heard me. You bitch. You brought your boyfriend to fight your battle?”

  “No,” Sienna said.

  “Then what the fuck are you doing here?” Daisy growled.

  I watched Sienna as she stood there. Like a statue. No, like a punching bag. I hated to see it.

  Then she made a move.

  She grabbed her food off the table. Holding the edge of the pasta bowl with two hands, she threw it forward and splashed more spaghetti and more sauce on Daisy.

  “That was on purpose,” Sienna said. “Bitch.”

  I reached into my pocket and took out some cash and dropped it to the table.

  I didn’t say another word as I walked around a messy Daisy and caught hold of Sienna’s hand.

  We walked out of the restaurant feeling a hundred eyes on us.

  I walked her to my truck and reached for the door. When I tried to open it, she put her hand on mine to stop me.

  “Thank you.”

  “You know that felt good,” I whispered. “Sometimes you need to do that, darlin’.”

  “Throw spaghetti at someone?”

  “No. Get shit off your chest. So it doesn’t build up inside you.”

  Sienna moved her hand from the door of my truck to my chest. I saw her slowly move to her toes, like she had once before to kiss my jaw. This time, I made life a little easier for her.

  I crouched a little and made damn sure this time that our lips touched.

  I kissed her the first time.

  The second, third - every one after that - was her kissing me.

  Chapter Six

  Boom, I’m Gone

  Sienna

  My new job started on Friday. Another restaurant. Same old crap. It was funny to see how each restaurant tried so hard to have their own system in place to be different, but it was all the same. Take the order,
bring the food, smile and nod. Watch the clock and wait to go home and try not to think about life. Which was probably the exact opposite of how Kace lived his life.

  I was sitting at home alone because Maria had some big project at work and was working crazy long hours. Part of me was jealous because she was accomplishing something in life. All I did was sit on the couch and watch stupid movies and shows, thinking about all the stuff that Kace had planted in my mind. For once, actually thinking about life. The problem for me was that I always wanted to go back in time before I went to the future. Which wasn’t a good thing at all. Going back never took you forward, no matter what stupid cliché sayings, or posters, or books that were out there said.

  It was frustrating to think that way. To dream. To want stuff that you would probably never have. Who did that? It was like letting yourself down each and every day. I was better suited to just be in the moment and focus on nothing but that.

  Kace called me around nine and it bothered me how much I smiled when I saw it was him calling.

  “Pick you up in about fifteen?” he asked when I answered the call.

  “Hello to you too,” I said.

  “I just got done working. Need to clear my head a little. Was wondering if you wanted to go for a ride.”

  “Where?”

  “Somewhere.”

  “I don’t like surprises.”

  “You like my surprises, Sienna.”

  “Kace…”

  “It’s local,” he said. “It’ll just be us. No other people.”

  “No throwing spaghetti at people who hurt me?”

  “Not unless you have a list,” he said. “I can stop at a store and buy a lot of pasta.”

  “You’re so weird, Kace.”

  “I’ll pick you up in fifteen.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  The call ended.

  I bit my lip.

  I’d never met someone like Kace before. The kind of guy that just barged into my life the way he did. I still hadn’t told him what was going through my mind the night I took those stupid pills and almost walked off that roof. And he didn’t bother me about it. He didn’t judge me for it. He didn’t see right through me because of it. Honestly, it was almost overwhelming to be around him. But there was also this sense of soothing comfort.

  I climbed off the couch and threw on a hoodie and left my apartment.