When I'm Gone_A heart-wrenching romance story that will make you believe in true love

by Jaxson Kidman

  I laughed.

  But it was a short lived laugh.

  Thoughtful… but it was something else.

  Kylie cared about me in a way that I did not feel for her.

  Which meant…

  “Hey, babe, I think we need to talk.”

  Chapter Eight

  On the Run From Love

  Sienna

  When the restaurant closed, some of us sat at the bar to count our tips, trade war stories of the night, and the most important part was getting our free drink that the owner was nice enough to give us after every shift.

  My left leg was jumpy and I bit at my nails as I stared at the clock. It was just past midnight and I couldn’t explain why I felt the way I did. Almost like I’d had too much coffee, yet I hadn’t had any at all.

  Candice put a foamy beer in front of me and winked.

  She was a beautiful woman with dark skin, black hair pulled back, and wicked brown eyes. She could make any guy fall in love with her and sit there all night ordering drink after drink. And she had the same effect on women. Even with women who had a boyfriend, a fiancé, a husband. She was great at her job and made a killing at it.

  “Oh, fuck this night.”

  I turned my head and Lexi sat to my left, shuffling through her tips.

  “Bad night?”

  “Fucking joke night,” she said. “I got gypped on two fucking tables. And I knew it was coming too. Motherfuckers.”

  Lexi painted her sentences with f bombs like a person painting a forest would do with trees. When you first met her, it was a little jarring to hear it so much, but I was used to it. I kind of enjoyed it. She was raw, in your face, and nothing got in her way. Ever.

  “I’m sorry, Lexi,” I said. “It was a strange night.”

  “Could have been worse,” Ash said to my right.

  Her drink of choice was vodka.

  And, yes, it was Ash from the other restaurant. The night that Daisy had been smothered in spaghetti and sauce. It wasn’t long after that when Ash quit and got the job here. Then I wandered in on a whim and saw her, and next thing I knew, I was hired.

  Ash nudged my arm and smiled.

  “Yeah, yeah,” I said. “It could always be worse.”

  “I’m going to start cleaning up for good here,” Candice said from behind the bar. “I have plans.”

  “Oh, who’s the lucky guy?” I asked.

  “Or girl,” Lexi said.

  Candice put a hand to her hip and raised an eyebrow.

  “What?” Lexi asked. “Don’t act like you don’t flirt with everyone at the bar.”

  “I flirt with anyone with money in their pocket,” Candice said.

  “You’re like a stripper, but you never get naked,” Ash said.

  “Been there, done that,” Candice said.

  “You never fail to amaze me,” I said. “And whatever you do, keep it up. It’s working.”

  “To be fair, I’d go out with you,” Lexi said.

  “Yeah?” Candice asked. She walked to the bar. “You would? Where would we go?”

  Candice batted her eyes and Lexi leaned back a little. She looked surprised at Candice’s reaction. Dare I say it, but Lexi looked a little flustered. That was a new look for her.

  After a few silent and maybe uncomfortable seconds, Candice snorted with laughter and pushed away from the bar.

  She pointed at Lexi. “Too easy.” Candice looked at me. “And for the record, he’s a very nice guy. First date. We met at the grocery store. Which is probably weird because I meet so many people right here. But the whole bar thing isn’t for me.”

  “But the coffee aisle is,” I said.

  “Hey, I can go for a man who appreciates a good dark roast coffee.”

  Lexi laughed. She stood up and scooped up her money. “I’m going to take my pathetic earnings outside for a smoke. Join me, Sienna?”

  “Sure,” I said.

  I took a few sips of my beer and said goodbye to Candice.

  “I’ll join you two,” Ash said. She threw her glass of vodka back and downed the entire thing.

  Just watching her do that made me shiver.

  We walked through the quiet restaurant and I swore that sometimes I could still hear the echoes of chatter, kids crying, people laughing, and forks hitting plates. Through the kitchen, it was just as quiet, the only sound heard was the buzzing of the fridges.

  Out back, Lexi took out her cigarettes and offered Ash one.

  “No thanks. I still don’t smoke.”

  “Just offering,” Lexi said.

  She tossed me the pack.

  I wasn’t exactly proud of my new habit, but it helped. I shouldn’t have traded one issue for another, but face it, having a smoke was better than getting messed up and trying to walk off a roof.

  I cringed at the thought of it.

  I always shut my eyes when I took the first drag, feeling nothing but a smoky throat and plenty of regret. But that quickly settled after the second drag and I would forget all about it.

  “When do you work again?” Lexi asked me.

  “Saturday,” I said. “Busy shift.”

  “Fuck. You’re lucky.”

  “So lucky,” I said.

  “Dale is an asshole. He’s pissed at me because he likes me and I won’t bang him. Fucking moron. His fake little tie does nothing for me.”

  “Or the pot belly,” Ash said.

  “Yeah, his six pack,” Lexi said with an eye roll. “That joke is older than the grease stuck to the floor in the kitchen.”

  “Ew,” I said. “Just ew all around.”

  “Did you hear the story of how Sienna and I worked together?”

  “Bits and pieces,” Lexi said.

  “And how she got fired or quit… and then brought this hot guy to the restaurant and he threw food at the manager who always went after her.”

  “You did what now?” Lexi asked. “I love a good firing and quitting story. And a hot guy?”

  “It’s nothing,” I said.

  “Tell her,” Ash said.

  “No.”

  “Look,” Lexi said. “I’ve had a rough night. Fucking Candice is going out on a date tonight. She’ll get what she wants and wake up smiling. I have to go home to an apartment that’s too small. I got stuck with my cousin’s stupid cat after she got herself into trouble and is in rehab. I hate that cat. But I promised that I would keep the damn thing company. Not to mention the fact that I run around this restaurant five nights a week and still can’t seem to lose these extra curves.”

  “What does that have to do with me?” I asked, smiling.

  “Nothing. I just felt like complaining. Now give me something good.”

  “I’ll tell you,” Ash said.

  “No,” I said.

  “Yes,” Ash said. “There was this bitch of a manager.”

  “Owner’s daughter,” I said.

  “Oh, those are the worst,” Lexi said.

  “Yeah, well,” Ash said, “Here is what this bitch did to her.”

  Ash playfully slapped my arm.

  I stood there and enjoyed my midnight smoke as Ash recounted the story.

  I thought about it for the first time in a while.

  The way Kace drove me there, took me inside, sat me down, and helped me crack my shell a little. I could still hear his voice telling me that sometimes people needed to do that. To just let off steam. To just let it out. To stand up for myself so I didn’t end up on the top of a building about to do something foolish.

  The problem there was that I hadn’t talked to Kace since the night I told him to take me home. That following morning, when I found the boombox outside my door, was basically a goodbye. He never called me again. I never called him either.

  “I have a new respect for you,” Lexi said to me.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  “Where is the hot guy now?”

  “Yeah, that’s a good point,” Ash said. “I never asked about him.”

  “I don’
t know where he is,” I said. “It was just one of those things.”

  “One of those things,” Lexi said. “Too small?”

  “What?” I asked.

  Lexi started to laugh.

  I rolled my eyes, which was a pretty common occurrence when you were near Lexi. She literally had zero filter. Whatever came into her mind was already coming out of her mouth. It gave her the personality she had, but it also got her into plenty of trouble.

  “Since we both have tomorrow night off, I’m going to throw a little party,” she said. “You’d better be there.”

  “I don’t do parties,” I said.

  “This one you do,” Lexi said. “Stop by and have fun. What are you going to do? Sit around in your PJ’s, eat chocolate, and watch movies that you swear you hate, but secretly love?”

  “Basically,” I said.

  “I like that plan,” Ash said.

  “Screw you both,” Lexi said. “You’d both better be there.”

  “I’m working,” Ash said.

  “Of course you are,” Lexi said. “Goodnight, bitches. I’ll see you tomorrow night, Sienna.”

  I waved and Lexi flicked her cigarette to the ground and walked away, leaving it smoking into the night.

  I finished my cigarette and put it in the giant, rusted coffee can that we used as an ashtray out back.

  “Now that she’s gone,” Ash said. “I’m not sure what happened with that guy…”

  “Kace,” I said. “His name was Kace.”

  “Right. Kace. All hotness aside, whatever happened there? Hopefully it wasn’t too serious.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “You never talk about anyone else,” she said. “As far as dates, boyfriends and one-night things go.”

  “Sorry I’m not open about my sex life like everyone else around here.”

  “Please. You need to have sex to have a sex life.”

  I opened my mouth, but didn’t say a word.

  “That’s what I thought,” Ash said.

  “What do you want me to do? Find some random guy and say have at it?”

  “No,” she said. “But you could go to Lexi’s place and enjoy a night off for once. Unless you want to talk about the hot guy and tell me everything that happened.”

  I looked at the invisible watch on my wrist. “Oh, look at that, I have to go now.”

  Ash laughed. “Have a good night. Hope you don’t hate me.”

  “Nah,” I said. “Maybe just a little.”

  “Don’t forget about what you did to me,” she said. “I took hell from Daisy after that mess you made. You got to walk about with that hot guy, and I got to clean the spaghetti off the floor.”

  “I’m still sorry about that.”

  “Don’t be. Have a good night. Enjoy hanging out with Lexi outside of work.”

  I laughed.

  I drove home and when I got out of my car, I stood in the same spot where Kace parked his truck the night he picked me up and showed me the house that he dreamed of buying and fixing up. I bit my lip, amazed that even after all the time between us, I could simply think about him and feel the way I did.

  How stupid, right?

  The emotions were simply based on what had happened. Because he saw me at my most vulnerable and he saved me. And he didn’t judge me. He didn’t question me like he could have. He showed that he really did understand.

  I thought about calling him.

  I told myself to call him.

  I didn’t call him.

  Lexi didn’t live in the nicest part of town, but her apartment was cute. Sure, it was small, but the building was old and had plenty of character. Not that I was some building person or whatever, but it was a nice place. It was funny how the town was set up into different sections. There was an elementary school that sort of served as the boundary between good and bad. The bigger houses and those people with a little more money lived up at the top of the town, which was literal. The town had been built on a gradual slope. On the other side of the elementary school was where it, also literally, went downhill. That’s where the houses were more neglected, many of them broken up into apartments.

  It wasn’t a crime filled city or anything like that, but there were moments when things did get sketchy.

  Lexi welcomed me right in and wasted no time in handing me a cup. I smelled the booze oozing out of it and brought it to my lips for a quick sip.

  “So glad you’re here,” she whispered to me. “I only invited a handful of people. So don’t get all antisocial on me.”

  “Who said I was antisocial?” I asked.

  “When was the last time you were at someone else’s house?”

  “A couple of nights ago,” I said. “My best friend Maria’s place.”

  “Whatever. Hey, I have good news.”

  “Oh?”

  “I brought treats.”

  “Treats?”

  Lexi smiled big and nodded. “Some friends of mine brought friends. Single friends.”

  “No…”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not asking you to marry anyone, Sienna. But there are a few single guys here. So what’s the harm in talking? Flirting? Or you can have a drink and go home. It’s up to you.”

  “Thanks. No guilt at all.”

  “Come on,” Lexi said. “I’ll give you a quick tour and we’ll hang out.”

  The quick tour was just that. Quick.

  The cool part about Lexi’s apartment was that right off her bedroom, there was the fire escape. Complete with a black metal platform where you could stand and see out across town.

  Everyone stayed in the living room and dining room area. There were maybe ten people there in total. And I quickly noticed someone looking at me. He leaned against the wall that separated the dining room and the kitchen. Looking casual and cool, a beer bottle in his hand. The moment I looked at him, he nodded at me.

  I nodded back and waved.

  He motioned for me to come toward him.

  I surveyed the room and saw Lexi standing in the corner with some really tall guy, playfully messing with a necklace around his neck.

  “Hey,” I said when I got close enough to the stranger leaning against the wall.

  He leaned toward me. “This is fucking lame.”

  “Excuse me?” I asked.

  “This whole thing. It’s fucking lame. Like an attempt at a high school party, except I’m too old for that kind of shit.”

  “Then why are you here?”

  “Came with my friend, Dan,” he said and nodded to the tall guy with Lexi. “Promised to keep his ass out of trouble.”

  “Right.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Nothing,” I said. “Better than sitting at home.”

  “Is it?” he asked with a wink.

  “Sienna,” I said.

  “Chris.”

  “Want to go and talk somewhere else?”

  “Thought you’d never ask,” Chris said.

  “Come here,” I said.

  I led the way through the apartment to Lexi’s bedroom.

  When I opened the door, Chris pulled at my wrist. “Hey. I don’t do this kind of thing on the first date.”

  “What?”

  “Bedroom…”

  “Oh, shit,” I said. I felt heat rush to my cheeks. “I didn’t… oh, shit. Uh… there’s a fire escape over here. We could stand outside and talk. I didn’t mean to make you think… I…”

  Chris inched closer and suddenly, his body was against mine. He looked down at me, smiling.

  “It’s okay. I’m just messing with you. Seeing your reaction.”

  “How’d I do?” I whispered in a shaky voice.

  “We’ll see about that later. And for the record, I’m a liar.”

  “You are?”

  “Yeah. I definitely do this kind of thing on the first date.”

  Chris started to make a move and I inched away. My heart raced for a few seconds and I swallowed hard.
/>
  Not that it was wrong to do…

  “I need some air.”

  “Let’s go,” he said.

  We climbed through the large window of Lexi’s bedroom and stood on the fire escape.

  Chris leaned against the railing and finished off his beer.

  “Think I can make it?” he asked.

  “What?”

  “Drop the bottle into the dumpster.”

  I leaned over the railing and felt my body shiver. I was afraid of heights. How ironic, huh?

  “I don’t know. That’s a big drop.”

  “Small bottle, big dumpster,” he said. “Bet you a kiss.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. Why not?”

  “So you want our first kiss… potentially… to be based on you dropping a bottle from a building?”

  “Sure,” he said. “Tell me you’re not into that romantic bullshit stuff.”

  “I love roses and walks on the beach and surprises.”

  “Oh.”

  I smiled. “I’m kidding.”

  “So… the kiss…”

  “I’m thinking about it.”

  “Tell you what, that was a bad idea,” Chris said. “That’s not how you have a first kiss.”

  “Okay,” I said. “I agr…”

  Chris moved really quickly. He slid along the railing and made a daring move as he kissed me. It was bold and kind of sexy. His lips pressed against mine for a few seconds.

  When he broke the kiss, he dropped the bottle.

  “There,” he whispered. “No need to worry about it.”

  I stared at him. Chris was the first guy I’d kissed since…

  I sort of felt foolish that I stood there, picking out the similarities and differences between Chris and someone else.

  I inched forward to kiss him when I heard the shattering of a bottle.

  We both turned our heads.

  Chris’s beer bottle missed the dumpster by a good three feet.

  “Damn,” he said.

  “Good thing you didn’t bet me that kiss,” I said.

  “Good thing.”

  He looked at me again.

  He smirked and made another move.

  This time the kiss was a little more forceful. He drove me back against the railing to the point where I thought for a second that we were going to go up and over it. I reached for the railing and opened my mouth to scream. To Chris, that was an opening for an even wilder kiss. That kiss, I wasn’t exactly ready for. Or did I really want it? His tongue flopped into my mouth and I turned my head, quickly breaking away.