by Wu Cheng-En
On his head was a star-crown of many colours,
And his magic robe was red with threads of gold.
The cloud-shoes on his feet were thickly embroidered;
The jade belt at his waist was delicately worked.
His wave-treading hosiery was of brocade,
And glimpses showed of a silk velvet underskirt.
He held a golden As-You-Will hook,
Long-handled with a base shaped like a dragon.
Bright were his phoenix eyes, and lotus-like his brows;
Steel-sharp were his teeth, and his lips bright crimson.
He looked more evil still than Marshal Wen
Although he wore a different kind of dress.
When Monkey saw him he put his hands together and said, “My name, sir, is Sun Wukong.”
“Are you really Sun Wukong,” said the Taoist master with a smile, “or are you just pretending to be?”
“What a thing to ask, sir! As the saying goes, a gentleman never changes his name whether he's travelling or staying at home. I am indeed Sun Wukong. Why should I want to pretend?”
“Do you know who I am?” the Taoist master asked.
“I've been converted to the Buddhist faith and follow Buddhist teachings,” Monkey said. “I've grown distant from the friends of my child hood on this long journey and I haven't visited any. I'm afraid I don't quite recognize you. I only know your name because the people in the village West of Motherhood River told me that you are the As-you-will Immortal.”
“You're busy on your journey, and I am busy cultivating my true arts,” the Taoist replied, “so why have you come to see me?”
“Because my master is pregnant and has a belly ache after mistakenly drinking water from the Motherhood River,” said Monkey. “I've come to your immortal abode to beg you for a bowl of water from the Miscarriage Spring with which to deliver him from his agony.”
“Is your master Tang Sanzang?” asked the Taoist with an angry glare.
“Yes, yes,” said Brother Monkey.
“Did you ever meet the Boy Sage King?” asked the Taoist, gnashing his teeth with hatred.
“That was the title of the demon Red Boy in the Fire-cloud Cave by Withered Pine Ravine on Mount Hao,” Monkey replied. “Why are you asking about him, immortal?”
“He is my nephew,” the immortal replied. “I am the brother of the Bull Demon King. He wrote me a letter telling me how Sun Wukong, the vicious senior disciple of Tang Sanzang, destroyed the boy. It was my great regret that I had no way of taking revenge on you here, but now you've come to my door begging for water.”
“You are mistaken, sir,” said Monkey, putting on a smile. “Your respected elder brother used to be a friend of mine, and we were two of seven sworn brothers in my youth. The only reason I did not come to pay my respects earlier was because I did not know your address. Your good nephew has done very well. He's now serving the Bodhisattva Guanyin as the page Sudhana. He's much better off than the rest of us, so why be so angry with me?”
“Damned ape!” shouted the Taoist master. “How dare you argue like that? Is my nephew better off as a slave than he was when he enjoyed the delights of being a king? Learn to behave yourself, and try a taste of my hook.”
Monkey parried with his iron cudgel and said, “Don't talk about fighting. Give me some of the spring water instead.”
“Vicious ape,” the Taoist master said again, “you don't know whether you want to live or die. If you can hold out against me for three rounds I'll give you your water, but if you can't I shall avenge my nephew by cutting you up and stewing you in soy sauce.”
“I'll get you, you impudent and evil creature,” replied the Great Sage. “If you want a fight try my cudgel.” The Taoist master blocked it with his hook, and the two of them fought a fine battle by the Hermitage of Immortals.
The holy monk conceived after drinking from a river,
So Monkey went to call on the As-you-will Immortal,
Not knowing that the Taoist was in fact a monster,
Who had used his powers to seize the Miscarriage Spring.
When he met Monkey old hatreds were revived:
They were locked in struggle and neither would yield.
As they talked on he became ever angrier,
Evilly determined to have his revenge.
One came for water to save his master's life,
Which the other would not give for his nephew's sake.
More lethal than a scorpion was the as-out-will hook,
While the gold-banded cudgel struck like a dragon,
The cudgel kept thrusting savagely at the chest,
While the hook made subtle cuts to the legs.
Grievous were the wounds where the cudgel fell,
And the hook rose from the shoulders to strike at the head.
The cudgel swung round the waist
Like a hawk after a sparrow;
The hook struck thrice at the head
Like a mantis catching a cicada.
They came and went as they struggled for mastery,
The ebb and flow of battle taking them forward and back.
There was nothing to choose between cudgel and hook;
Neither contender emerged as the victor.
After the Taoist master had fought over ten rounds with the Great Sage but was no match for him Monkey struck at the head with more ferocity than ever, his cudgel's blows falling like a stream of shooting stars. Completely exhausted, the Taoist master fled down the mountainside trailing his As-You-Will hook behind him.
Instead of pursuing him Monkey went to the hermitage in search of water, only to find that the other Taoist had already fastened the gates. Holding the earthenware bowl in his hands he went straight up to the gates, kicked through them with all his strength, and rushed in. The Taoist disciple was crouching behind the well's railings. The Great Sage shouted at him, raised his cudgel, and was about to kill him when the Taoist fled into the back. Monkey had just fetched a bucket and was on the point of filling it with spring water from the well when the master came up behind him, caught his feet with the hook, and sent him sprawling on the ground. The Great Sage pulled himself to his feet and started hitting back with his cudgel. The Taoist master swerved aside and said, wielding the hook, “We'll see if you can steal the water from my well.”
“Come here,” shouted Monkey, “come here. I'll get you, you evil creature, and I'll beat you to death.” The Taoist master did not go for Monkey but just stood guard over the well, preventing him from drawing any water, Seeing that he was not moving, Monkey whirled his cudgel round and round with his left hand and in his right took the bucket, which he sent noisily down the well on the rope. The Taoist master came back to the attack with his hook. Monkey, unable to hold him off one-handed, was tripped round his legs again and sent sprawling, dropping the bucket and rope down the well.
“What a way to behave,” remarked the Great Sage, getting back on his feet and taking his cudgel in both hands to lash wildly back. Once again the Taoist master fled, unable to face him. The Great Sage still wanted to draw some water but now he had no bucket and was also worried that he might be tripped by the hook again. “I'd better get someone to help me,” he thought.
The splendid Great Sage turned his cloud round, went straight back to the cottage door, and shouted, “Friar Sand.” When Sanzang and Pig, who were groaning and moaning in agony, heard his shout they said with relief, “Friar Sand, Wukong's back.”
Friar Sand opened the door as quickly as he could, asking, “Have you got the water, brother?”
When Monkey came in and told them what had happened Sanzang said with tears in his eyes, “What are we to do, disciple?”
“I've come to take Brother Sand back to the hermitage with me,” Monkey replied. “He'll fetch the water to save you while I fight that damned Taoist.”
“If both you healthy ones go and abandon us invalids who will look after us?” Sanzang asked.
“Don't worr
y, venerable arhat,” said the old woman who was standing beside them. “You won't need your disciples. We can look after you. We were very kind to you when you first came, and now that we have seen how that Bodhisattva can travel by cloud we know that you are arhats and Bodhisattvas. We could never possibly harm you.”
“You women,” snorted Monkey, “you wouldn't dare hurt anyone.”
“You don't know your luck, my lord,” the old woman replied with a smile. “If you'd gone to any other house you'd never have come out in one piece.”
“What do you mean?” Pig groaned.
“All of us in this family are getting on,” the old woman replied, “and desire doesn't bother us any more, which is why we didn't harm you. If you'd gone to another household with women of different ages the younger ones would never have let you go. They'd have forced you to sleep with them, and if you'd refused they'd have murdered you and cut all the flesh off your bodies to put in perfume bags.”
“In that case I'd have been safe,” said Pig. “The others smell lovely, just right for a perfume bag, but I'm a stinking boar and any flesh cut off me would stink too. I'd come to no harm.”
“Stop boasting,” said Brother Monkey with a smile, “and save your strength for the delivery.”
“Fetch the water as soon as you can. Don't waste any time,” the old woman said.
“Do you have a well-bucket on a rope I could borrow?” Monkey asked. The old woman went out to the back and brought in a bucket on a rope as well as a spare coil of rope that she handed to Friar Sand. “Take both ropes in case the well is so deep you need them,” she said.
Friar Sand took the bucket and the ropes, left the cottage with Monkey, and flew off on the same cloud. It took them less than an hour to reach Mount Offspring Dissolved, where they landed directly outside the gates of the hermitage. “Take the bucket and the ropes,” Monkey told Friar Sand, “and hide over there. Let me challenge him to battle. When the fight's going good and strong sneak in, fetch the water, and take it back.” Friar Sand accepted his orders.
Brandishing his iron cudgel the Great Sage Sun went up to the gates and shouted, “Open up! Open up!”
When the gate-keeper saw him he hurried inside to report, “Master, Sun Wukong's here again. The Taoist master was furiously angry.”
“That evil ape is utterly impossible. I've long heard of his powers and now I know what they really are. That cudgel of his is unbeatable.”
“Master,” said the other Taoist, “his powers may be great, but you're as good as he is. You are a match for him.”
“He beat me the last two times,” said the master.
“Yes,” said the other, “but that was just because he went for you with such fury. You tripped him up with your hook twice when he was trying to draw water, so that leveled the score, didn't it? He had to run away. If he's back now it must be because he's had to. I expect Sanzang's been complaining too much as his pregnancy's so far advanced. I'm sure that he's feeling resentful of his master. You're absolutely bound to win this time, master.”
This pleased the Taoist immortal and made him feel very cheerful as he went out through the doors. His face was wreathed in smiles, his manner imposing, and his hook in his hands. “Wicked ape, what are you back here for?” he shouted.
“Just to fetch some water,” Monkey replied.
“It's my well,” said the immortal, “and even if you were a king or a minister you'd still have to made me presents and offer mutton and wine before I gave you any. On top of that you're my enemy. How dare you come here empty-handed expecting water?”
“Do you refuse to give me any?” Monkey asked.
“Yes,” said the immortal, “I won't.”
“Vicious and evil beast,” Monkey yelled, “if you won't give me the water, take this!” He dropped his guard to strike hard with his cudgel at the immortal's head. The immortal dodged the blow and struck back with his hook. It was an even finer combat than the previous one.
The gold-banded cudgel,
The As-You-Will hook,
And two fighters filled with hatred and anger.
The flying sand and stones darkened earth and sky;
The clouds of dust and dirt made sun and moon seem sad.
The Great Sage was fetching water to save his master;
That the evil immortal refused for his nephew's sake.
Both sides fought with equal vigor
In their battle that allowed no rest.
They struggled for victory with tight-clenched jaws,
Gritting their teeth as they strove to win.
With growing skill
And ever-greater vigor
They breathed out clouds to frighten gods and ghosts.
Noisily rang the clash of their weapons
As their battle cries shook the mountains and hills.
They were a whirlwind wrecking a forest,
A pair of murderous fighting bulls.
As the battle went on the Great Sage felt happier
And the Taoist immortal had ever more energy.
Each was determined to carry on the fight;
Neither would give up till the issue was resolved.
The two of them leapt around in their fight from the gates of the hermitage to the mountain slope. It was a long and bitter struggle.
When Friar Sand rushed in through the gates with the bucket in his hand the Taoist disciple blocked his way and asked, “Who do you think you are, coming to steal our water?” Friar Sand put down his bucket and ropes, brought out his demon-quelling staff, and struck at the Taoist's head by way of an answer. Because the Taoist could not move out of the way fast enough the blow broke his arm and he fell to the ground, straggling to escape.
“I was going to kill you, you evil beast,” roared Friar Sand, “but seeing as you're human I feel sorry for you and I'll let you go. Now let me get my water.” The Taoist crawled to the back of the hermitage thanking heaven and earth for his escape. Friar Sand then filled his bucket with water from the well, went out through the gates, rose up on his cloud, and called to Monkey, “I've got the water, brother. Spare him now, spare him.”
Hearing this, Monkey held the hook at bay with his cudgel and said, “Listen to what I have to say. I was going to wipe all of you out, but you've broken no laws and your brother the Bull Demon King is a friend of mine. The first time I came you tripped me up with your hook a couple of times and I couldn't get the water. I lured you out to fight me so that my fellow disciple could get some water. If I'd used my full powers I'd have killed several of you, never mind just one As-you-will Immortal. But it's better to spare life than to take it, so I'll let you live a few more years. Never ever try extortion on anyone who comes here for the water again.”
The evil and foolish immortal moved and tried to hook Monkey once more, but Monkey avoided the hook, rushed at him, and shouted, “Don't move!” The helpless immortal fell head first to the ground and was unable to get up. The Great Sage picked up his As-You-Will hook, snapped it in two, then broke the two pieces into four, and threw them to the ground. “Damned beast,” he said, “are you going to try any more nonsense?” The trembling immortal had to bear his humiliation in silence, and the laughing Great Sage rose up on his cloud. There is a poem that testifies to this. It goes:
When true lead is melted it yields a true liquid;
If the true liquid is mixed right, true mercury hardens.
True mercury and true lead have no feminine quality;
Magic cinnabar and herbs are the elixir of immortality.
When a child is recklessly formed and a pregnancy results
The mother of earth succeeds without any effort.
Heresy is pushed over and orthodoxy honoured;
The heart's lord succeeds and returns in smiles.
The Great Sage set off his cloud and caught up with Friar Sand. They were very pleased to be returning with the magical water as they brought their cloud down at the cottage to find Pig leaning against the door and g
roaning with his big belly sticking out. “Idiot,” said Monkey, stealing up on him, “when did you get yourself pregnant?”
“Stop teasing me,” said the idiot in desperation.
“Did you fetch the water?” Monkey was going to keep the joke up but Friar Sand then arrived to report with a smile, “Here's the water.”
Despite his agony Sanzang managed to lean forward in a kind of bow as he said, “Disciples, I'm very grateful to you.” The old woman was pleased too, and the whole household came in to bow and say, “Bodhisattvas, this is wonderful, wonderful.” She fetched a drinking bowl of decorated porcelain, half filled it with the water, and handed it to Sanzang with the words, “Venerable sir, please drink it very slowly. One mouthful will be enough to end the pregnancy.”
“I won't need a bowl,” said Pig. “I'll drink the lot, bucket, rope and all.”
“Venerable sir,” the woman said, “don't give me such a terrible fright. If you drank the whole bucketful it would dissolve all your insides.” This gave the idiot such a fright that he behaved himself and drank only half a bowlful too.
Within less time than it takes to eat a meal the two of them were in agony: their intestines felt as if they were being wrung out and gave several loud rumbles. After that the idiot could contain himself no longer; he emptied his bowels and his bladder. The Tang Priest, also unable to contain himself, wanted to go to the lavatory.
“Master,” said Brother Monkey, “you mustn't go anywhere you might be in a draft, If you catch a cold you may get milk fever.” The woman then brought in two latrine buckets for the pair of them. When they had both used them several times the pain stopped and their stomachs gradually started to resume their normal size as the extra flesh and blood in them was dissolved.
The woman then cooked them some plain rice porridge to settle their stomachs. “Lady,” said Pig, “my stomach's very strong, and it doesn't need settling. Boil me some water for a bath before I eat my porridge.”
“You mustn't have a bath, brother,” said Friar Sand. “Washing in he first month after childbirth can make you ill.”
