The School for the Insanely Gifted

by Dan Elish

  “Welcome to New York’s greatest tourist attraction!” Myron cried. “Lady Liberty’s torch!”

  Daphna shook with relief.

  “We made it!” she said. “Nice!”

  An arm closed tightly around her throat.

  “Perfect,” Ignatious cried. “I’ll be your tour guide!”

  Chapter 31

  The Truth Is Revealed

  Ignatious dragged Daphna out onto the torch. The wind was blowing hard.

  “Let me go!” Daphna shouted.

  She was crying but now more out of anger than fear. Struggling hard, she tried to kick and claw her way out of Ignatious’s arms, but he held her fast.

  “No, no, no, my little lady,” he said. “You’re my ticket to freedom!”

  “Freedom?” Daphna called. “Are you crazy?”

  By that time the Thunkmobile and Balloon-Top hovered on either side.

  “You’ll never get away!” Harkin yelled.

  “There are police boats all over the harbor!” Thelma said.

  “And police cars all over the streets,” Billy said.

  Ignatious laughed. “Maybe. But I don’t see any police planes. Now leave! Let me get back on the helicopter with the girl.”

  “So you can kill her?” Billy said. “Not a chance!”

  “You’ll be thrown in jail for life,” Harkin said.

  Ignatious’s body once again convulsed in giggles.

  “Only if Daphna is able to play her piece! Or have you forgotten that nearly everyone else in the city is under the spell of the X-Head!”

  Daphna was enraged. How dare this lunatic hold her hostage?

  “You’ll never get away with it,” she cried over the howl of the wind. “Then you’ll be in jail for not one but two murders!”

  That got Ignatious’s attention. “Two murders? Who are you talking about?”

  Daphna finally let it out. “My mother!” she cried. “I know where she was going when she died—she figured out where Billy was and was on her way to tell him that you were on to the X-Head! She saw its potential for bad and knew she might not come back, which is why she left me the map. Her plane crashed and now she’s gone forever!”

  It was the first time that Daphna had said it out loud, and somehow, she finally knew that it was true. She had carried a hope on her shoulders for so long that it felt almost good to let it go, to admit that her mother really was gone. Still, with the relief came a crushing wave of sadness. The next thing Daphna knew, she was crying as hard as she ever had in her life. Then she turned and kicked Ignatious in the shins and hit him in the chest before he managed to press her tightly into his arms.

  “Now, now,” Ignatious said. Just like that, the old, oily, sweet-talking Ignatious had returned. “Don’t fight me. Your mother was a wonderful lady. It’s true that I asked her about the X-Head. But you must believe me that I never pressured her. She chose to fly her plane to find Billy. I didn’t force her. Not a bit, my dear. I would never do that. Your mother’s death is so sad. It still breaks my heart!”

  Out of the corner of her eye, Daphna saw Billy jump from Balloon-Top to the torch. The next thing she knew, the burly man was pulling her away from Ignatious. Then—wham!—he cocked his right arm and punched Ignatious hard in the nose. The Great Blatt hit the green metal torch with a loud thwack.

  “How dare you tell those lies to my daughter!” Billy cried.

  No one spoke. Daphna looked at her friends in the Thunkmobile and Balloon-Top, stunned, then slowly turned to Billy.

  “Did you say . . . daughter?”

  Billy looked across the harbor, then finally nodded. “I did.”

  He got down on one knee and took Daphna’s hands. By that time, microphones hung down from TV helicopters. Reporters stood on hastily erected fire ladders, feverishly jotting notes. Though his confession was being watched and recorded by thousands, Billy spoke from the heart.

  “I hope you’ll forgive me. When you asked if I was your father and I said no, I thought I was telling the truth. You see, your mother and I were involved in college. Boyfriend and girlfriend.”

  “More that that,” Ignatious growled from floor. “Why don’t you tell her, Billy? Or are you still too much of a coward?”

  “Tell me what?” Daphna said.

  Billy swallowed hard. “That picture you had of your mother, Iggy, and me. Well, it was taken on your mother’s and my wedding day.”

  “Right!” Ignatious cried. “And she should have married me! She should have married me!”

  Daphna gasped. It was all too much to comprehend. Had Ignatious loved her mother too?

  “What? Really?”

  “Yes,” Billy said. “It was our wedding day.” He looked at Ignatious. “And I’m sorry, Iggy, but she loved me, not you.” Billy sighed and looked back at Daphna. “We married, but I’m sorry to say I wasn’t quite ready for it. I always loved your mother, but then I got this wanderlust—this urge to see the world. Silly, wasn’t it? To think I gave up you and your mom for that. But then you mentioned your mother’s silly pet name for you.”

  Daphna’s voice caught in her throat. “Miss Sadie P. Snodgrass?”

  Billy smiled. “Yes, that’s it. That’s the name that your mother and I used to joke we’d name our child, if we ever had one. Believe me, Daphna, if I had known that you were on the way, I never would have left.”

  Daphna’s eyes filled with tears, out of equal parts confusion and joy. Billy took her hands.

  “This is why I came back to New York. Not to stop Ignatious and the X-Head, but to work up the nerve to tell you the truth. I know that Ron and his family already take good care of you. I don’t know if you’d want someone else in your life. But when you left, I got thinking about how lucky I was. Imagine! To discover that I’m the father of a wonderful girl.”

  After all the years, it was hard to believe that what she had always wanted was staring her in the face. Daphna flung herself into Billy’s arms. He held her tight. Daphna had many questions—loads of them—but they could wait. Now it felt good to be held, to be in the arms of a man who, despite everything, she was proud to call her father.

  In fact, Daphna was holding Billy so tightly that she didn’t even notice what happened next until Ignatious was already falling off the torch into a police net.

  “What . . . ?” Daphna asked.

  “He was about to push you off,” Harkin called from the Thunkmobile.

  Cynthia smiled. She had jumped onto the torch. “So I pushed him first!”

  Daphna peered over the edge. Down below, she could see Ignatious in handcuffs being led onto a police boat.

  “But we aren’t quite through, Daphna,” Billy said.

  “Oh?”

  “You aren’t getting off the hook that easily,” Cynthia said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “We’ve been in touch with the mayor,” Thelma said.

  “And Cody Meyers,” Harkin added.

  “You’re scheduled to play your rhapsody on his show in . . .” Billy glanced at his watch. “About ten minutes.”

  Daphna blinked. “Ten minutes! Really?”

  Billy laughed. “Yes, really. Don’t forget. You still have to play. Nothing else will break the power of the X-Head. Now, no arguments!”

  “Really?” Daphna blinked. “On national TV?”

  Billy laughed. “Remember, I’m your dad now. Come! Play!”

  And so she did.

  Chapter 32

  Endings and New Beginnings

  The next day, Daphna’s picture was on the front page of every newspaper in town. Some featured her atop the Statue of Liberty. Others pictured her onstage, playing at the Cody Meyers studio. Still others pictured her after the performance, in Billy’s arms, holding a bouquet of roses. The headlines screamed the news:

  RHAPSODY FOR THE CITY SAVES NEW YORK

  ORPHAN GIRL WORKS MAGIC!

  HOLY TRANCE, BATMAN!

  THAT GIRL CAN PLAY!

  And fi
nally, the New York Tribune featured a picture of Ignatious falling from Lady Liberty’s torch with a headline reading:

  IGNATIOUS PEABODY GOES BLATT!

  After her successful concert, Daphna, Billy, her friends, and all the students of the Blatt School were invited to the mayor’s home at Gracie Mansion for a party.

  “You’re all insanely gifted,” the mayor said in a short speech. “But more impressively, when the chips are down, you’re insanely good to one another. And that makes me proud. Remember, children: It’s perfectly fine to want to be the best, but it’s more important to do the right thing.”

  “Well said!” Billy called.

  The children cheered and celebrated with ice cream and cake.

  Later that day, Daphna continued the celebration at home with Ron, Jazmine, Little Jack, and a surprise guest, Billy B. Brilliant. Billy charmed Little Jack by playing hide-and-seek for a full two hours. Then Mrs. Zoentrope joined them for dinner.

  “Your piece was magical,” she told Daphna. “Your mother would have been so proud.”

  After dinner, Billy came over to Daphna’s small apartment and looked through the old pictures of her mother’s parents that she had found in the basement.

  Which was when Daphna asked the question she had wondered about since Billy had first told her that he was her father.

  “How did you and Mom meet? Were you boyfriend and girlfriend all through college?”

  Billy pondered how to best answer the question for a minute. “It was our first semester in Introduction to Advanced Molecular Biology.” He smiled. “Your mother showed me how to dissect a gnat. Anyway, first we were friends, then we were something more than that. And then . . . well, then we got married.”

  Daphna knew that there was more to the story, but she could also tell that Billy wanted to keep some of it private. The two were quiet for a moment, lost in their thoughts.

  “But it’s strange,” Daphna said. “I wonder why she felt funny telling me about you. Or let me believe that a cup of sour yak milk had killed you.”

  Billy mulled it over. “I imagine that she was mad at me for disappearing—and I don’t really blame her. Maybe she didn’t want to get you excited about someone you were unlikely to ever meet? Who knows? But knowing your mother, she had her reasons.”

  Finally, Daphna asked the question that had been on her mind since the day before, atop the Statue of Liberty.

  “Do you think that Ignatious turned evil because my mom chose you instead of him?”

  Billy scratched his beard. “Well, I don’t know about that. Iggy was always too ambitious for his own good. Then again, your mother was quite a lady.”

  “Yes,” Daphna said with a sad smile. “She sure was.”

  The following day Daphna went to school. As expected, there was a group of stubborn reporters lined up outside, looking to milk the story—the powerful X-Head and the girl who set the city free—for all it was worth. After answering a few quick questions, Daphna hurried through the front gate.

  After a day under the thumb of the X-Head, the children of the Blatt School were back to their usual selves. No one’s eyes were glazed over; no one stared into space, mumbling the words on a website only he or she could see. Instead, Daphna walked into a thick crowd of happy children playing four square, freeze tag, and catch. Wilmer Griffith, Jean-Claude Broquet, and Wanda Twiddles were playing a vigorous game of knee hockey.

  Even Myron Blatt was there, but now instead of defending his father, he was sitting atop the jungle gym, flying a make-believe helicopter, regaling other students with his exploits as a pilot. Daphna smiled. It had to be hard to have a father like Ignatious. Though it was difficult to completely forgive Myron for stealing the formula for Gum-Top, she understood how hard it must have been to tell his famous dad no. In any case, despite his father’s fall from grace, Myron seemed strangely happier.

  “Hey, Daph!” he called. “Look at me. Flying high!”

  Daphna waved, then glanced at another student who had found popularity. Like Myron, Thelma Trimm was surrounded by other kids, all looking to join her in a game of hopscotch. Perhaps more striking, for the first time since kindergarten, her hair wasn’t in pigtails but blow-dried. Her face still showed traces of the rouge she had worn to appear on three early-morning talk shows.

  Finally, Daphna cut across a game of red rover and found her two closest friends. Harkin was scribbling furiously in his notebook. Cynthia was reading a script.

  “Hey there,” Daphna said. “What’s up?”

  Harkin looked up. “Did you realize that with a few minor adjustments I could take the Thunkmobile into outer space?”

  Daphna hadn’t realized. But she wasn’t surprised either.

  “Go for it,” she said. She turned to Cynthia. “How was the show last night?”

  The actress shrugged. “Once a dog, always a dog.” She held up the script she had been reading. “This is a new musical coming to town. They want me to play a giant talking ice-cream cone.”

  It was still almost impossible to believe what Cynthia had done. It was unforgivable, really, to betray her best friends. But at the same time, Daphna could almost understand it. Like many Blatt students, Cynthia was never satisfied with what she had already achieved. Six Broadway shows? How about seven? There was always another mountain to climb. Over the past year, her one-woman Macbeth had become an obsession. When Ignatious had offered to produce it in return for gathering information about the X-Head, Cynthia had snapped. Daphna saw a tear roll down her cheek.

  “I’ll still never forgive myself for what I did.”

  Daphna and Harkin exchanged a glance.

  “That’s too bad,” Harkin said. “Because we do.”

  Cynthia took off her glasses and wiped away the tear. “Thanks. I’ll make sure you don’t regret it.”

  Elmira Ferguson stuck her head out of the back door of the school. To mark the end of the Blatt era, she wore a coat of bright orange lipstick and had finally changed her pink high heels to purple.

  “Children! Please line up! We have a special announcement!”

  Harkin looked up from his notes. “Wonder what’s going on?”

  “Got me,” Daphna said.

  The teachers filed out one by one and took their places in the yard. They were all there, from Mr. D’Angelo to Mrs. Zoentrope—all happily X-Head free. When everyone was in position, Elmira stood by the door. A moment later, a large man with a boyish, handsome face stepped out and waved.

  “Wait a second,” Harkin said. “Is that . . . no!”

  “Who?” Cynthia asked.

  “It can’t be!” Daphna said.

  Hard as it was to believe, the clean-shaven man was Billy B. Brilliant.

  “He finally looks like the guy next to my mom in the picture,” Daphna said.

  Cynthia nodded. “You’re right.”

  Harkin got tired of standing on ceremony.

  “Hey, Billy!” he called.

  The man looked their way and rubbed his cleanly shaved cheek. Mrs. Ferguson cleared her throat, and the playground quieted.

  “After discussion with the board of trustees,” she began. “I am very proud to introduce the Blatt School’s new headmaster. Billy B. Brilliant.”

  Cheers filled the playground. Who better to lead the Blatt School into the future than Billy?

  And so the semester at the Blatt School continued. Over the next days, the papers were filled with news of Ignatious Peabody Blatt. A week after his arrest, he stood trial for his crimes. Despite Blatt’s hiring the best lawyers in town, the jury sent him to prison, where he lobbied successfully for more colorful uniforms.

  Though life was hardly ideal for Ignatious, many who he had hurt during his rise to power came into their own.

  After Daphna’s success, Mrs. Zoentrope became the most sought-after music teacher in the country.

  After his father went to prison, Myron moved in with an aunt and worked part-time giving helicopter rides to tourists around New
York.

  Wilmer Griffith, Wanda Twiddles, and Jean-Claude Broquet formed a club: the Insanely Supportive Society. Every month a good-citizen award was given to a different person in the school.

  Then there were Daphna’s closest buddies. Though Harkin never got the Thunkmobile into orbit, he sold the basic design to a major American auto manufacturer. With any luck, a year or so down the line Americans would soon be driving—and flying—in their brand-new Thunks.

  As for Cynthia, after The Dancing Doberman, she turned down the role of the singing ice-cream cone and moved on to Armpit, a new rock musical. As punishment for her unfortunate role in the saga of the X-Head, Cynthia agreed to perform one thousand hours of community service. Over the next year, she spent every afternoon at a different public school, singing her one-woman Macbeth, spreading the gospel of Shakespeare and musical theater throughout the city.

  Then there were Billy and Daphna.

  Over his first few weeks as head of school, Billy discovered that Ignatious had actually done an excellent job with the school that bore his name. The only significant change Billy introduced in the first week was the announcement of a summer program. That June, Daphna, Harkin, Cynthia, and four other lucky students spent two weeks at the valley, studying and vacationing.

  As for his own inventing, Billy grudgingly took credit for all of Ignatious’s work. Though Billy didn’t introduce any new products to market, he kept Cook-Top on hand to prepare his every meal. As he put it to the press, “Every man must have a hidden vice. Cook-Top is mine.”

  After some thought, Daphna decided to stay in her studio across from Ron and his family. Though Billy took an apartment on the top floor of the school, father and daughter had dinner most every night and spent every Sunday together. As before, the rest of Daphna’s time was taken up with composing. After the success of her rhapsody, the Chicago Philharmonic commissioned her to finish the symphony she had begun in Mrs. Zoentrope’s office.

  Daphna never forgot her mother. As she worked on her symphony, she often found herself day-dreaming that her mom would dramatically reappear at its world premiere. Of course she knew her mother was gone. But was there any harm in holding out the smallest ray of hope? Hadn’t the power of her Rhapsody for the City defeated the X-Head? Who knew what she’d accomplish with her first symphony?