I Know Who Holds Tomorrow

by Francis Ray

  Zachary’s shoulders settled against the back of his chair. “Give her time.”

  Madison shook her head. “I don’t think that will help.” She took a deep breath. “I think she needs to be around other children.”

  He shot forward in his chair. “You want to put her in day care?”

  “Day cares are fine, but that’s not what I want to propose.” Putting her arm on the table, she leaned forward. “I want us to take her to visit the families of your friends, like the ones who came by Saturday to put up the swing,” she explained patiently.

  The tension seeped from his body. “I don’t see that as being a problem.”

  “Good.” Madison picked up her fork. “The sooner we can visit would probably be better. Until she learns that she’s not going to be abandoned, I can’t take her anyplace by myself.”

  “You should have called me today.”

  She waved his words aside. “We managed and I’m not helpless.”

  “I never thought that.” He picked up his glass of iced tea. “I still hate to see you both confined all day. Do you have friends with children who could come over here during the day?”

  Madison’s gaze flickered to his face, then away. “It’s best if she goes out.”

  He considered her for a long time. He didn’t like to keep pushing, but someone had to. “Is that the only reason we’re seeing my friends and not yours?”

  She sat the glass carefully back down on the table and barely kept from sighing. He saw through her too easily. “I didn’t want my close friends to know my marriage was in trouble so I drifted away from them. I have lots of acquaintances and associates, but no close women friends I can talk to, confide in.” Her expression saddened.

  “Only you can change that.”

  She looked at him, really looked at him. The patient eyes, the strong jaw, the mobile lips. He was handsome, caring, and dependable. He could probably have his pick of women. Yet here he was with her as he had been for the past three weeks. It appeared when Zachary took on a responsibility, he didn’t so do lightly. “Maybe you should be the host. You have a way of helping people help themselves.”

  His strong face clouded. He drew back his hand. “Don’t pin any medals on me, Madison.”

  She couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or troubled. She chose to think it was the former. “I will if I want.” With a self-satisfied smile on her face, she began to eat.

  Later that night Zachary stood at his bedroom window staring out at nothing in particular. His thoughts veered back to Madison, when they had been sitting at the table. She trusted him and was beginning to see him as her friend, not just a friend of Wes’s. It was in her eyes, in the unconscious touch of her hand to comfort him.

  And he had betrayed her.

  The thought, once a small prick to his conscience, had become a jagged plunge that caused him to struggle daily with his decision. He hadn’t done it lightly. At the time he had had no choice. He had willingly walked into the storm. The trouble was, he still didn’t have a choice.

  Madison was stronger, but if she learned the entire truth about Manda she’d shut him out of her life forever. Just the thought of never seeing her again made his gut clench. The emotion was dangerous to both of them, but there didn’t appear to be anything he could do to stop how he felt.

  Then there was Manda to consider. He’d hoped, prayed for her and Madison to grow closer. That was happening. Tonight when he’d arrived, Madison had been holding Manda and hadn’t offered her to Zachary until Manda had reached for him. He hadn’t missed the smile on Madison’s face when, later sitting in the den, he had put Manda down and she had cruised around the table to Madison, who had immediately praised her, then picked her up and pressed her cheek against Manda’s.

  The two of them were growing closer, but even that closeness was a danger to both of them. If the truth came out, it might well tear them apart; then they’d both suffer.

  He scrubbed his face. The truth was coming. He could feel it. Waiting. And when it did, he just prayed Manda and Madison wouldn’t pay the price for his betrayal.

  “We didn’t think you were coming this morning.”

  Zachary gazed down at Madison’s smiling face and his breath caught. After thinking about her well into the night, then dreaming about her, seeing her unguarded happiness simply. because he had stopped by did strange things to his emotions. His heart beat like a drum against his rib cage.

  It had been a long time since he had seen her this carefree and happy. She’d always been beautiful to him, but the haunting sadness she wore like a cloak had filled him with a growing need to make her pain disappear forever. This morning the guileless smile on her honey-colored face stirred the man in him.

  Dangerous for both of them.

  Reaching out, Madison tugged him inside the house and closed the door. “Manda has been looking around for you all morning. She’s already eaten.”

  Deciding it was safer to look at Manda instead of the tempting woman, Zachary bent to brush his lips across the infant’s curly head. He realized his mistake almost instantly. Overlaying the scent of baby powder was the alluring fragrance of Madison’s floral perfume, an exotic mix of jasmine and rose. The aroma filled his head with forbidden thoughts and endless possibilities. He straightened abruptly.

  Madison’s smile slowly faded. “Are you all right?”

  “Sure. Come here, munchkin.” He held his hands out for Manda. Grinning, she leaped. Catching her closely, he grinned back. “Miss me, huh?”

  She patted his cheeks.

  Madison stared at them, wondering why she felt a strange fluttering in her stomach. “There’s waffles and sausage, if you have time.”

  “I have time.” Zachary followed her into the kitchen, noticing not for the first time the slimness of her body, yet there were curves to entice a man. She wore a green T-shirt and a pair of jeans as faded and well-worn as his own. Her feet were bare.

  “Have a seat.” Going to the stove, she took out a plate and sat it before him. “I made extra just in case you stopped by.”

  Settling Manda comfortably on his left knee, his arm around her waist, he bowed his head, said his blessing, then poured syrup over his waffles. “I appreciate it, but you didn’t have to bother with breakfast.”

  “I have to cook anyway.” She sat a cup of coffee by his plate, then took a seat across from him, picked up her grapefruit juice, and nodded toward his plate. “Taste all right?”

  “Wonderful,” Zachary said after swallowing. “You’re a great cook.”

  “Thanks. I haven’t done much cooking in a long time,” she told him. “There wasn’t much point in cooking for myself all the time.”

  “I know what you mean. I usually grab a bite out if the housekeeper doesn’t cook.” He sipped his coffee, careful to lean Manda away so she couldn’t grab the cup of hot coffee.

  “Let me take her.” Madison got up and came around the table to pick the baby up.

  “She’s not any bother. I don’t get to hold her very much.”

  Madison took the seat next to them, twin lines furrowing her brow. “You’re here in the morning and in the evenings. That’s a lot.”

  Zachary stopped eating and slowly turned toward her. A heaviness settled in his chest. “I didn’t mean to be in the way.”

  Astonishment widened her eyes. “What are you talking about? I couldn’t have made it without you, and I’m selfish enough to want you to continue to come. Manda and I couldn’t have made it without you. But it’s not fair to you. You must have a life of your own.”

  The weight lifted. She wasn’t throwing him out of her life. “I promised to help.”

  “And in your book, that’s that.”

  Zachary wasn’t sure if she was making a statement or asking a question, but his answer would have been the same. “Yes.”

  She nodded. “More coffee or waffles?”

  “No thanks.” Zachary placed the fork on the empty plate, then rose with Manda on his hip
to put the plate in the sink. “I better get going. What are you two going to do today?”

  Madison stuck her hands in the hip pockets of her jeans, inadvertently pushing out her breasts. Watching Manda, Madison didn’t see Zachary gulp. “I thought I’d call the lawyer.”

  Zachary tensed. His gaze zipped up to her face. “What for?”

  “To get Manda’s great-aunt’s phone number. I want to let her know that Manda is being well cared for. I shouldn’t depend on you for things I can do.” Madison pulled her hand from her pocket to smooth over Manda’s curly black head of hair.

  “You had a lot on your mind. I’m sure she’ll appreciate hearing from you.” He hoped she didn’t hear the fear in his voice.

  Madison played with the baby’s hand. “I thought I’d unearth my camera and take some shots of Manda to send to her.”

  Zachary’s hand reached out to touch a lock of Madison’s curly hair. “You don’t have an excuse now not to be in them with her. Your hair looks great. I forgot to tell you yesterday. It’s almost as soft as Manda’s.”

  Startled, flattered, she froze for all of three seconds. “Th-thank you. Could you give me his phone number?”

  “I’ll have to call back,” he said quickly. He needed to make sure Sam Peters had his story straight. “I’d better get going. The house we’re working on is in Cedar Hill.” Kissing Manda, he handed her to Madison. “I’ll see you both this evening. Don’t cook.”

  Madison followed. They’d discovered that as long as Madison held her, Manda didn’t mind Zachary’s leaving. “Why?” she asked as he opened the front door.

  “It’s a surprise.”

  Madison couldn’t see the intriguing smile on her own face. Zachary could and it warmed his heart even as he admitted that he was falling in love with a woman who might soon hate his guts.

  TWENTY

  MADISON’S LATE-AFTERNOON PHONE CALL to Velma Taylor was as difficult as she had imagined it would be, but in a different way. Velma Taylor answered the phone herself, her voice wavery and thin, the result of ill health and seventy-six years. It took Madison a few minutes for the woman to adjust her whistling hearing aid and put Madison on the speaker phone for her to understand that Madison was the woman caring for Manda. When Miss Taylor did, her voice thickened, she began to cry softly.

  “Bridget was such a good girl. Never did anybody harm. It breaks this old heart of mine up just thinkin’ about how she died.”

  Torn between compassion and anger, Madison’s hand on the receiver tightened. “I’m sorry.”

  “God knows best. I jus’ thank you for keepin’ Manda. That little bit of sugar was a handful for Bridget, but she loved every minute.”

  Madison didn’t want to hear about the other woman, but realized the older woman probably needed to talk just as much as Madison had. “The nurse at the hospital said Manda was healthy and apparently loved.”

  “Yes, she was. When the nurse came in and told me what happened to Bridget I lied awake that night and the next worryin’ and wonderin’ what would happen to her baby, then your lawyer came. I thank God for your kindness. I pray for you and Manda mornin’ and night.”

  A lump formed in Madison’s throat. She didn’t deserve Velma’s prayers, but perhaps prayer, and Zachary, had helped her to stop feeling sorry for herself. “Thank you, Miss Taylor. I thought I’d send you some pictures of Manda.”

  “Bless you, child, but you better hurry and send ‘em. My eyes ain’t as sharp as they used to be,” she said, her voice growing weary. “Bridget’s friend paid for me to come all the way to Dallas to see a specialist and get the surgery for the cataracts, but ain’t nothin’ they can do about this glaucoma.”

  “I’m sorry,” Madison said, meaning it. She was genuinely glad that Wes had tried to help her. The elderly woman had gone through a lot.

  “God’s will. I just ask Him to give me the strength to go through each day.”

  There was no bitterness in her voice, just calm acceptance and unshakable faith. Madison glanced down at Manda, who was in her lap staring up at Madison with a smile on her chubby face, her hazel eyes bright, babbling happily. “I’ll have the photos blown up so you can see how beautiful your grandniece is. I’ve given my name and phone number to the front desk. The nurse said she’d come down later and program it into your phone. If you need anything, please call.”

  “You’ve already given me what I need.”

  Madison was genuinely touched. “Good-bye, Miss Taylor. I’ll do my best to get those pictures in the mail in a couple of days.”

  “Good-bye, child. Kiss that piece of sugar for me and tell her I love her and to be good.”

  “I will.” Madison hung up the phone, then stared at it. Zachary was probably busy. Cedar Hill was forty minutes from her house. She shouldn’t worry him. She could probably call Gordon and he’d find a way of getting the film to her and arrange to have it picked up and taken to the lab. She didn’t want to call the car service just to take her to get film. Her mind circled back to Zachary.

  It didn’t take much for Madison to recall the warm approval in Zachary’s gaze when he talked about taking her picture with Manda. Although she disagreed with him, she didn’t doubt that he’d want to be a part of their photograph session.

  Without giving herself time to doubt, she picked up the phone and dialed. Zachary answered on the second ring.

  “Zach Holman.” His deep voice came through clearly.

  “We’re fine,” she said, aware that his first concern would be their welfare. “Do you think you could pick up two rolls of thirty-five-millimeter film on your way over here tonight? I found the camera, but no film.”

  “No problem. You going to get in the picture with her?” he asked.

  In the background she could hear the sound of hammering and men voices. “I haven’t decided yet.”

  “It’s your decision, but I’m hoping you will. I want one for my desk and my wallet.”

  Madison adjusted the baby in her arms, trying to decide how to take Zachary’s last statement.

  “You still there?”

  “Just thinking..”

  He chuckled. “Probably about what to wear. This time I know she has clothes, but if you want to go shopping I could come a little early.”

  “No, that’s all right,” she said.

  “See you later. ’Bye.”

  “’Bye.” Madison hung up the phone. Humming softly, she went to the closet to look for a dress to wear because, just as she was sure that the sun would rise in the morning, she knew without a doubt that Zachary would include her in the photographs.

  Seven minutes later Madison was still pushing clothes around in her closet. Manda sat a few feet away with her teething ring in one hand and her teddy bear at her feet. “Nothing looks right.”

  Hands on her hips, Madison glanced over her shoulder at Manda’s dresses on the bed, then down at Manda. “A closet full of clothes and nothing to wear. Zachary would laugh, but what he doesn’t know …” Walking over, she picked up the phone on the night stand and dialed Neiman Marcus. “Cindi Foutz, please.”

  The cheerful voice of Madison’s personal shopper came on the line seconds later. “Hi, this is Cindi.”

  “Hello, Cindi. Madison Reed. I need your help.”

  Zachary bought three rolls of film and a disposable camera. When Madison answered the door with Manda in her arms, he wished he’d bought more film. She was absolutely beautiful. He tried not to stare or drool. “You look great.”

  Warmth—she didn’t think to question the reason why—curled through her. “Thank you.”

  Zachary felt himself falling deeper, harder. Taking her arm, they went to the backyard. After a short discussion they decided to pose Manda beneath the leafy branches of the fruitless mulberry and used as a backdrop the seasonal bed of flowers in full bloom.

  He’d had a bad moment when Madison glanced toward the water hazard, but when she turned back to Zachary he’d seen acceptance and strength in her fa
ce instead of grief or anger. He’d nodded his approval, then set about taking pictures. By the time he and Madison were finished snapping, they had shot all three rolls of film and used up the disposable camera as well.

  As Madison had expected, she was in a lot of the pictures. But she’d gotten a couple of shots of him as well.

  “We’ll drop these off on the way to the surprise. You don’t have to change.”

  The surprise turned out to be a children’s restaurant. Storybook characters were servers. The laughter of children was everywhere. The ice cream machine seemed to be the biggest draw as child after child passed with mounds of toppings on a variety of ice cream flavors. Manda took it all in with big eyes.

  “How did you find out about this place?” Madison asked over the squeals of children playing in a sea of red and blue balls.

  “One of my men had his son’s birthday party here.” Zachary said from across the table shaped like the branches of a tree.

  Madison glanced down at Manda, her ballerina-clothed teddy bear clutched in her arm. “When do you think her birthday is?”

  “September twelfth,” Zachary said casually, watching her. “The date was on her discharge papers from the hospital.”

  Madison nodded. After Wes’s funeral, she’d counted back nine months to September, then back another nine months to December. Scrutinizing his office calendar yielded nothing. Now she knew. Manda was born on September twelfth. Although she couldn’t recall Wes’s whereabouts in December when Manda was conceived, she had no difficult knowing where he was when she was born. With Madison.

  Wes hadn’t been there for Manda’s mother any more than he’d been there for Madison. The day Manda was born, Madison had received an award for Woman of the Year from the Junior League. He’d been in town the entire weekend, playing the loving husband, the other half of the perfect couple. Lies. All lies. She was so tired of them.

  “That means she’ll be ten months Saturday,” Madison finally said.

  Zachary smiled indulgently at Manda. “I guess I’ll have to get her an extra-special teddy bear.”