I Know Who Holds Tomorrow

by Francis Ray

  Zachary’s gut clenched. He had put that look in her eyes. “I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

  She glanced away. “It’s forgotten.” Crossing the room, she stopped an arm’s length away and reached out for Manda. “’Morning, sweetheart.”

  The sinking sensation in his gut became worse when he handed the baby to Madison and noticed that she no longer wore her bracelet from Tiffany’s. “I’ll go start breakfast.”

  “That won’t be necessary.” Her gaze bounced to him, then away. “We can manage.

  He decided not to press the issue. “I’ll stop by later today.”

  “I’ll be pretty busy working on scripts for the next season.”

  She was pushing him away. His fault. “I’ll see you Monday, or will you be busy then?”

  “I expect I’ll become busier, but you can always come by to see Manda or pick her up.”

  For a long time he studied her. “Are you scared of me, or yourself?”

  “Very few things scare me.” Clasping Manda tightly, she went to the changing table, keeping her back to him, hoping he didn’t see that her hands were trembling. “I’d see you out, but I need to change Manda.”

  “All right, Madison. Have it your way for the time being. You know how to reach me.” He clenched his jaw.

  “Good-bye, Zachary.”

  “Not by a long shot,” he warned.

  Madison stiffened. When she looked up he was gone, and she had never felt more miserable or more alone in her life.

  Gordon knew it might happen, but he hadn’t expected it to happen so soon. Forty minutes after they had left the brunch at Antares, he was still smoldering.

  “You aren’t going to forget it, arc you?” Camille asked, sitting beside him in the passenger waiting area of Southwest Airlines.

  Gordon folded his arms. “I doubt if the shoe were on the other foot, you’d be so glib about it.”

  Camille knew a man’s ego was as fragile as a woman’s. “He apologized and, after the dressing-down you gave him, I don’t think he’ll jump to conclusions like that again.”

  The muscle in Gordon’s jaw jerked. He could still hear the maître d’s words.

  “Would you like a table for you and your daughter, sir?” He’d never been so embarrassed in his life. He’d looked forward to seeing Camille again, felt young, until the careless words of the maître d’at Antares had brought him crashing back to reality.

  “I’m twenty-three years older than you are,” he muttered.

  “The age difference didn’t bother you last night,” she said with an impish smile.

  “We both know why,” he said, aware of the crowded waiting area.

  Camille leaned closer, by accident or by design letting him feel the softness of her breast and catch a whiff of her perfume. “Has something changed I don’t know about?”

  Gordon went from annoyed to lusting in an instant. “If we weren’t here, I’d answer that for you.”

  Laughing, Camille stood and reached for her roll-on luggage. She’d been right, seeing Gordon was going to be fun. No attachments, no broken hearts when they said good-bye. “I’ll have to take a rain check. They just called my flight.”

  Gordon came to his feet with a disgruntled look on his face. “You think I’m being foolish?”

  She stuck her tongue in her cheek. “You really expect me to answer that and then get on a plane?”

  “No.”

  “Good.” Leaning over, she brushed her lips across his cheek. “See you Wednesday night.” Then she was merging with the other passengers.

  Gordon waved good-bye as she went though the door to board. His hands deep in his pocket, he went to his car. He hadn’t told Camille the entire reason the man’s words bothered him. His age was part of it, but it tied in directly with his ability to keep her satisfied in bed and out.

  He hadn’t had sexual relations in over two years, but he hadn’t worried about his performance in bed … until the maitre d’s blunder. What if he couldn’t satisfy her? How embarrassing would that be for both of them? Then, too, he tended to be a homebody. Women Camille’s age wanted to go out, party, do things, meet people. If he wasn’t working or at some speaking engagement, he was at home. The twins referred to him as “the only walking, breathing fossil.”

  Unlocking his car, he got in and backed out. He’d let his desire for Camille cloud his usual practical judgment. He had to think this through before she returned and he humiliated himself.

  Monday morning Zachary was the first person to work at seven-ten. By seven fifty-five all of his crew was there except Kelli and Clarence. The men were colorful and descriptive as to the reason the two were late.

  At eight-thirteen Kelli whirled her aged truck into the ungraded front yard of the 5,500-square-foot house and came to a dusty stop. Slamming out of the truck, she passed him at a fast clip. Words of apology flowed from her mouth. Seconds later Clarence’s dented Buick came to a stop beside Kelli’s truck. He was just as apologetic as he tried to strap on his tool belt and run at the same time.

  It didn’t take much imagination to realize why they were late or why they arrived directly behind each other, especially since they lived in different cities and had the slumberous satisfied look of being well loved in their eyes.

  Zachary picked up the sanding pads from the back of his truck and went inside. The chances of him ever putting that look in Madison’s eyes were slim to none. At least until he came clean with her. But if she thought she was going to keep him out of her life, she was wrong.

  He caught his men nudging each other as Kelli and Clarence walked through their work area, but no one said anything to either of them. They admired and respected Kelli. They also knew she had a devious mind and would think of an ingenious way to pay them back, which placed Clarence off-limits as well.

  However, an hour later problems arose between the couple. “I’m perfectly capable of getting off a ladder by myself,” Kelli snapped when Clarence tried to help her down the last three rungs.

  “I was—”

  “—Being an ass,” she finished. Neither seemed to notice men making themselves scarce. “I’ve been doing this before you got here and will still be doing it after you’re gone. I don’t need you.”

  Clarence’s head snapped back as if she had slapped him. The wounded look on his face said he’d have much preferred the slap to the words. Silently he turned and walked away with his head hanging, his big feet dragging.

  Kelli reached for him, her lower lip tucked between her teeth. Shaking her head, she went back to work.

  Witnessing the incident made Zachary think of Madison. Women wanted their independence. Men felt the need to protect. It was a fine line to walk.

  Hadn’t he called a friend of his who owned a takeout deli downtown near her TV station and ordered Madison’s lunch? As upset with him as she was, she might toss it. He hoped not. He had no doubt she’d take care if Manda, but what about herself? He’d pushed himself into her life with half-truths and promises. She’d accepted his help, but occasionally she wanted to go it alone. He admired her for her strength as much as he loved her, and it could all blow up in his face.

  “I don’t know what to do, boss.” Clarence wore a bleak expression, his hands pushed deep into the pockets of his worn denims.

  Zachary cut off the sander and lifted his goggles. He could empathize with him. “Go tell Kelli I want you to work with me today.”

  Clarence hesitated. “We’re supposed to hang the cabinets in the master bathroom.”

  “I’m still the boss around here. Besides, I think it’s time you learned that you might never understand a woman. All you can do is love them.”

  “But is that enough?” he asked, his thin shoulders slumped.

  “If you do it the right way. it is.”

  Clarence whipped his hands out of his pockets, hope shining in his eyes. “I’ll go tell her.”

  Zachary went back to sanding the cabinet. Someti
mes all you had was your love. Nobody ever said it would be easy.

  Madison went to work Monday morning with none of the enthusiasm she had anticipated before The Incident, as she preferred to think of the kiss. Getting out of the limo with Manda, she had to make herself keep walking. Perhaps keeping busy would help. Thinking about it certainly hadn’t. Nor had Zachary coming over Sunday to take Manda to the park. Her awareness of him was driving her crazy and giving her one of her famous headaches.

  Greeting the receptionist and the security guard, Madison continued to her office. Inside, she was glad to see that at least the playpen and daybed she’d ordered were there, the electrical outlets covered, the cords to her draperies and blinds out of reach, the spot empty where her philodendron once thrived. The big-leaf ivy was on top of her file cabinet. Whenever Manda was on the floor she liked to investigate, and had eyes like an eagle.

  “Thank you, Traci, everything looks perfect,” she said to her assistant, then sat behind her desk with Manda still in her arms. Her desk looked bare without the computer, printer, and all their hanging cords. They were now housed in a console against the wall.

  “Mr. Bills said to tell you he’d vacuumed the carpet in your office twice. There isn’t anything that Manda might pick up and put in her mouth,” Traci said, her pad in her hands. “He’d said he’d come by later to see if there was anything else you needed.”

  “I can’t think of a thing.” Handing Manda the teething ring, Madison flipped though her day planner. “Let’s start to work on lining up the guests for the programs for the sweeps in September. Let’s take them week by week. Any problems with the first show?”

  Traci hesitated. She hugged her steno pad to her chest.

  “Yes?”

  “The first one is ‘Couples in the Public Eye.’ You still want to do that one, or push it back farther in the season?”

  Madison had forgotten about that show. The president of the station had wanted this one. He was well aware that the public loved to take a peek into the private lives of celebrities. He’d suggested Wes come on the show with her. It would have been the first time that they would have shared live airtime. It had been promoted that way. Without asking, she knew the ads had been pulled.

  “It’s all right, Traci,” Madison said. “If all the couples are confirmed, we’ll do it as scheduled. Check and double-check to make sure we have any special requests for their hotel room or for the guest lounge of the studio.”

  “You’re so brave,” Traci said with open admiration.

  If you only knew, Madison thought. “What’s the next show?”

  Gordon loved his job. He’d loved it when things came together and the station was alive with activity as it was today. Peeking into Madison’s office, he waved as she glanced up from talking with the segment producer. Frowning, he continued to his office. Her smile was there, but it didn’t have the sparkle it had the other day. Manda, he noted, was asleep in her Port-a-crib.

  Continuing to his office, he thought of his twins. At that age Adrian would have tried to climb over the side with Adair following close behind. He couldn’t believe they’d be nineteen in a couple of months.

  His steps slowed. His hand rubbed over the back of his neck. He was dating a woman sixteen years older than his kids. Entering his office, he seriously considered seeing if he could still do a hundred push-ups. He went to his desk instead. He’d probably have a coronary and where would that leave him?

  But wasn’t sex just as strenuous?

  For a man who never worried, he had certainly developed a bad case. Picking up his gold fountain pen, he flipped it end over end, then glanced at the framed picture of the twins. He’d taught them to go after what they wanted. To at least get in the game, play fair, but play to win with no regrets if you had given it your all. No excuses. No time-outs.

  Tossing the fountain pen on the desk, he positioned himself on the floor for his push-ups. Better to find out now than with Camille.

  Zachary hadn’t known what to expect from Madison when he went to her house Monday after work, but it certainly hadn’t been Gretchen answering the door. “Yes?” the maid inquired politely.

  “Zachary Holman. Is Madison at home?”

  “Yes, sir. Come in. I’ll tell her you’re here.”

  She didn’t ask him to sit down, so he didn’t. He felt like a lowly servant, hat in hand, coming to see the mistress of the house. He didn’t like it.

  The door to Madison’s office opened down the hallway and she came out carrying Manda. “Good evening, Zachary. I have some paperwork to do, but Manda is all yours.” Face expressionless, she held Manda out to him. “You’re welcome to stay here or take her out.”

  “We’ll go outside to the swing.”

  Irritation swept across her face for the briefest moment. “Gretchen is here if you need anything.” She wiggled Manda’s bare foot. “Have fun. Thanks for lunch today, but it won’t be necessary in the future.”

  “Whatever you say.” She couldn’t have made it much clearer that she didn’t want him in her life.

  “Good-bye.” Turning, she went back down the hall and into her office.

  “Ma-da,” Manda cried, looking in the direction Madison had gone.

  “Looks like we’re on our own.” Carrying Manda, Zachary went into the backyard.

  Madison told herself not to, but somehow she found herself in the living room peeking though the sheers at Manda and Zachary. She desperately wished he hadn’t stayed around to tempt her. Despite everything she had tried to convince herself of, she wanted to be out there, to have him hold her, kiss her mindless again, and—

  She let the curtain fall and she went back to her office. She couldn’t, wouldn’t, think about him that way. It wasn’t proper.

  Besides, she was obviously not very astute in picking men and knowing their feelings. She’d forgiven Wes, but she had no intention of being duped again.

  Sitting at her desk, she picked up the sheet of paper listing the possible topics of shows. No man would ever interfere with her life again. She wouldn’t let it happen.

  Gordon was waiting for Camille Wednesday night when she disembarked from the plane. Seeing her, he was glad he had been putting stress on his heart. She wore a red sundress in a lightweight material that shifted and flowed over her body and stopped at least five inches above her knees. She had impossibly long legs and he immediately thought of them wrapped tightly around his waist. On her feet were four-inch red sandals with a wisp of a strap across the toes and one just above her ankles. By the time she reached him, his breathing was hard and he was harder.

  “You trying to give me a coronary?” he asked, taking the handle of her roll-on.

  She flashed a grin, then linked her arm through his. “Thank you. And no, I have plans for you.”

  “Goodness, Camille,” he said, groaning.

  She laughed a throaty sound, one meant for lovers. “How was your week?”

  “Hectic.” Because he hadn’t been able to get his mind off her. “Yours seems to have been good.”

  “Learned a lot, and it was great seeing old friends,” she told him as they made their way outside. “The main thrust, as it always is is finding ways to decrease paperwork, increase public awareness, and getting people to report possible abuse.” All playfulness left her voice.

  “If there is anything I or the station can do, let me know.” Opening the car door, he placed her suitcase in the backseat. He turned back and she was in his arms, her greedy mouth on his.

  Gordon thought if he did have a coronary, he’d die a happy man, and quickly took the kiss deeper. She was with him all the way.

  “Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?”

  “For caring.” Her fingers tenderly rubbed the back of his neck. “So many people don’t.” She stepped back, her playful smile flashing as she opened her door and slipped inside. “I had an early lunch and the peanuts they served on the flight didn’t cut it. Do you think you could feed a girl?�
�

  “I know the perfect place.”

  TWENTY-SIX

  CAMILLE HADN’T BEEN SURPRISED when Gordon pulled into the garage of a magnificent, traditional house. The house had a cozy feel despite the twenty-five-foot ceilings in the living room. Gold, oyster, and chocolate colors effortlessly tied one room to the other. “You have a beautiful home.”

  “Thanks. We moved in about three years ago. An electrical fire caused extensive damage to the old place and I decided it was a good time as any to move.”

  Sipping her wine, she glanced around the stainless-steel kitchen. “You did it in grand style.”

  “We enjoy it.”

  She slipped off the stool in front of the island and came to peer over his shoulder at the pot he was stirring. She inhaled appreciatively. “I hope that tastes as good as it smells.”

  “It does.” He held out the wooden spoon filled with bits of chicken, Polish sausage, corn, and okra to her. “One of Mama’s specialties. You throw everything but the kitchen sink in here.”

  Gingerly she tasted. Spicy and delicious. “More.”

  “I’m going to give you all you can handle.”

  Camille sucked in her breath. Anticipation zipped through her. “I hope you can back that up.”

  “Only one way to find out.” He cut off the fire. “How hungry are you?”

  Her fingers wobbled on the stern of the glass. “I suppose if my mind was occupied with other things, I could wait for a little while.”

  “Let’s see how long.” He pulled her into his arms, his mouth crashing down on hers. She was ready, sinking into him and the kiss. Heat and need shot through them both.

  His hands drew the thin straps of the dress over her arm, past the lush swell of her breasts to the delicate lace strapless bra. A little black bow sat naughtily in the center. He pressed his lip to the swell, felt her tremble. When the dress wouldn’t come down any farther, he gathered the material in both hands and pulled it over her head, letting it fall heedlessly to the floor.