The Querulous Effect

by Arkay Jones

  Jay looked up to see, emerging onto the wall by the left hand gate post, the smiling face of a girl. The face, rather pink from its owner’s exertions, was followed by the rest of the girl herself who appeared a bit younger than Jay. Finally she sat on top of the ivy-covered wall.

  “Hello. Are you the boy who’s come about the job?” Without waiting for an answer, which Jay thought was pretty obvious anyhow, the girl continued. “I’ve been sent to look out for you. Are you a bit early or am I a bit late?”

  Jay was about to answer but realised that again no answer was required as the girl continued, “Hang on, I’ll let you in.” With that she disappeared down on her side of the wall. Whilst she had been addressing him earlier from the top of the wall, Jay had been vaguely aware of a dog barking in the background. Now, as the girl reappeared behind the gap in the gate decoration and started to pull back a bolt to open it, the barking became more furious. Jay looked up again at the notice, “Beware of the Guard Dog” and wondered again if this whole project was such a good idea after all.

  As the bolt was drawn fully back and the gate creaked open, the girl emerged with a small white terrier at her heels, still barking noisily.

  “Take no notice of Chip,” she said. “Anyone I’m friends with, he’s friends with. If we shake hands and smile” (which Jay was finding hard to do at that particular moment) “he’ll know you’re a friend.”

  With that she stuck out her hand and Jay shook it in the friendliest way he could.

  “I’m Jay,” he said.

  “I’m Ella,” said the girl. “Now let Chip sniff your hand and you’ll be friends too.”

  Jay was not used to being told what to do by girls, especially by girls younger than himself. But he felt that on this occasion it was probably a wise thing to do. He held out his hand gingerly and Chip was equally responsive to Ella’s prompting. He gave Jay’s hand a quick lick and the barking stopped too.

  Ella and Jay pushed the gates closed again and secured the bolt. Then Ella, with Chip fussing alongside, led Jay up the curving drive towards the house and that important job interview.

  CHAPTER 4

  As they walked up the drive and rounded a corner, Jay could see that it led to a large house with russet bricks and gabled windows. Tall brick chimneys, twisted in a style Jay later learned was called ‘barley-sugar,’ rose high above the red-tiled roof. To the side were several large green-houses, their glazed roofs shining brightly in the morning sunshine.

  The garden, through which the gravel drive led, had lawns on either side with trees here and there, mostly cedar and oak. Beyond, in the distance, was a meadow which seemed almost to gleam with wild flowers amidst the grass. Most remarkable of all were the flower beds. Some ran alongside the drive; others stood out like colourful islands dotted about in the lawns. Still more lay in the shelter of the house and others running under the tall, brick wall which curved out of sight along the perimeter of the garden.

  The flower beds shone with a myriad of colours. There were deep red, pale blue and delicate pink hollyhocks, Tiger and Golden lilies, heliotropes, tobacco plants, stocks and many other more exotic varieties. Not that Jay, at this stage, knew the names of any of these plants and flowers. He was, however, aware of the subtle blend of scents and perfumes which wafted across the garden. As his gaze moved back from the garden to the house, the front door opened and a tall, lean figure came out and hurried down the drive towards them.

  “It’s the Prof,” explained Ella. Not that any explanation was really required. Professor Ricardo looked more or less the way Jay expected a professor to look. Spectacles perched on the end of his nose, tousled white hair but a kindly, sun-and-wind-weathered face, with piercing blue eyes. The professorial effect was completed by an oversize tweed jacket with a spotted, coloured handkerchief in the top pocket, which rather clashed with a brightly patterned bow-tie.

  “Welcome, welcome, my boy. Glad you could make it,” boomed the professor as if he were addressing the world at large rather than just Jay.

  “My assistant, Ella, will have introduced herself, no doubt, and Chip of course. I am, as you will have guessed, Professor Ricardo and I am delighted to meet you,” he added, as he shook Jay’s hand vigorously and Jay, in turn, introduced himself.

  “Well, formalities over,” continued the professor. “My assistants call me ‘Prof’ and you must do the same. No ceremony here. Now come up to the house and meet the rest of the team and we’ll have a talk. Do you like scones?”

  Without waiting for an answer, the Prof turned on his heel and strode back towards the house with Jay, Ella and Chip (who did, incidentally, like scones very much) scurrying behind. The Prof made his way around the side and to the back of the house, passing the green-houses and pointing out various different plants as he went by. As he pointed them out, he called out their names and rattled off some information on each one. But this was information Jay could hardly understand and certainly not take in, especially at the high speed at which the Prof walked and reeled off the data on each one. Jay was relieved to see Ella smile at him sympathetically, which was some reassurance that he was not expected to remember it all, at least not at this stage.

  As they rounded the corner to the back of the house, Jay saw that there was another section of the garden filled with various kinds of vegetables, most of which he could, this time, recognise. There were rows of carrots, potatoes, runner-beans, peas, marrows, cabbages and cauliflowers, all at different stages of development. At the back of the vegetable garden, separated by a brick path and low wall was yet another section with fruit bushes – black-currants, red-currants, raspberry canes and loganberries running along a trellis fence. Beyond the fence, through a wooden gate, Jay could see a small orchard of apple, plum and pear trees.

  The Prof waved his hand in a broad indication of the vegetable and fruit gardens and, as if anticipating what Jay was thinking, said, “Plenty of work to be done here, you see. Yes, plenty of work. Watering, picking and sorting.”

  Then the Prof stopped in his tracks, spun round to give a big smile and added, “Oh, and, of course, the most exciting work of all, eh, Ella, – hunting and catching!”

  By now they had reached a big green door at the back of the house. The professor raised his hand to shade his eyes and looked into the distance towards the fruit trees beyond the wooden gate.

  “I can’t see him, Ella,” he said. “Ring the bell.”

  Ella opened the green door, stepped inside for a moment and returned with a large brass bell, which she proceeded to ring enthusiastically. “Here he comes,” she said a few moments later as a figure sauntered out from the orchard through the wooden gate and waved in acknowledgement. As the figure got nearer, Jay could see it was a boy, a bit older and a bit – well, quite a bit – taller than Jay. As the boy came closer he gave a broad grin, held aloft a glass jar and called out, “Got one, I think!”

  “Well done,” called back the Prof. “Come and meet Jay.”

  As the boy came up to them, the Prof introduced him to Jay, “This is Tim, my other stalwart assistant.”

  Tim smiled, wiped his hand on his trousers and shook Jay by the hand.

  “Jolly good,” said the Prof, “now everybody knows everybody else. Let’s go in and have a chat.”

  The green door led into an old-fashioned kitchen. As Jay was to find out, most of the rest of the house was old-fashioned too. The kitchen shelves were crammed full of pots, pans, jars and dishes. There was an old cast-iron oven, which ran half the length of one wall, and a deep, porcelain sink on the opposite wall, under a window which overlooked the back garden. In the middle of the kitchen was a large, square, pine table with chairs of various sizes, none of them matching, on each side.

  “I’ll put Tim’s interesting find into the laboratory. While I’m gone get yourselves a drink. The scones are in the right-hand cupboard.” With that, the Prof picked up the glass jar Tim had brought in and disappeared through a door at the back of the kitchen.
/>   Tim and Ella, followed by Jay, washed their hands in the kitchen sink and Tim got some glasses and plates from the side-board. “Might have guessed it would be apple-juice,” he said as he brought out a jug from a refrigerator by the sink and put it on the table. Meanwhile, Ella opened up a cake-tin from the cupboard and put out the scones. From a drawer she got out knives and a small, silver spoon which she stuck in a pot of strawberry jam, which Tim had also produced from the fridge.

  By the time the professor rejoined them, the three children were all seated around the table tucking into their mid-morning break and already well on the way to being firm friends.

  “Brilliant, Tim,” exclaimed the Prof as he burst back into the kitchen. “Yes, outstanding. It is indeed, ‘Phosphaenus hemipterus.’ What a find. The colony must be surviving. What would you say to a night expedition later this week?”

  With a mouthful of scone, Tim nodded and grunted in agreement. Ella just smiled. It seemed to Jay that they clearly thought it a very good idea indeed.

  CHAPTER 5

  Jay could see that Professor Ricardo was excited by Tim’s find but exactly what that find was he had no idea. It seemed to him, it had just been some sort of bug in a jar. The Prof soon enlightened him.

  “‘Phosphaemus hemipterus,’ Jay! It’s the Latin name for the lesser glow-worm. Very rare. A great find. Not to be confused, of course, with ‘Lampyris noctiluca,’ the common glow-worm.”

  Not that Jay would have confused them. He was certainly confused but not about the lesser or common or any type of glow-worm. Rather he was wondering just what the job he had seen advertised in Frimton post-office really involved and what it had to do with bugs in jars.

  Again the Prof seemed to read his mind because he poured himself a glass of apple-juice, drew up a Windsor chair and sat down at the table.

  “I think I’d better explain what we have in mind,” he said. “I am carrying out some scientific research here at ‘The Cedars’ and I am in need of some dependable help in this work. Ella and Tim are my two key assistants. They are also, incidentally, my great-nephew and niece, although they call me Prof which is more appropriate when we are working as a scientific team. In any case, it’s rather shorter than ‘great-uncle Theobald.’ They spend most of their holidays here and excellent assistants they are. But all three of us are agreed that we need another member of the team. Someone who is enthusiastic, can work well with Tim and Ella and also, I have to say, keep a secret because this is very secret scientific work.”

  “Now, at this point,” continued the Prof, “I owe you a further explanation – perhaps, even, an apology. You see I met your aunt recently when I was in the post-office and she mentioned that you were coming to stay. From our discussion, I thought you might be just the fellow we needed. But we had to be sure that you were keen and up for an adventure or two. We had to establish, first, that you had the initiative and drive to respond to an opportunity. Secondly, that you would fit into the team. So Tim, who is, I suppose, the ‘brains’ of our little unit came up with the idea of the advertisement. We hoped you would respond and depended on Miss Spratt to ensure that no-one unsuitable applied. So, you see, we rather targeted you. I hope you don’t mind.”

  Jay didn’t know whether to be flattered or annoyed by this revelation. It did not, in any event, tell him anything about the job itself. So, rather than saying whether he minded or not about the advertisement, he asked what he would be expected to do.

  “Well, there is some hard work,” said the Prof. “Lots of watering plants, collecting specimens – plants, insects and so on. Running errands, helping look after the animals. We have a horse and some hens and a goat or two. But there is a fair bit of adventure too. Expeditions into the countryside, bug-hunting. And occasionally, very occasionally, some work in my laboratory.”

  The Prof looked across at his young assistants. “I get the impression that Tim and Ella think that you’d be a good team member.”

  Both nodded in agreement.

  “Then that’s unanimous from our side. Pay is a little pocket-money, some good food prepared by my house-keeper, Mrs. Stiggles, whose scones you’ve already sampled, and, I hope, some fun too. Well, what do you think, Jay?”

  With these words, the professor smiled at him, looking intently over his spectacles. Ella also looked at him eagerly and even Tim interrupted his demolition of a third scone to peer at him across the table.

  Jay’s mind was ticking over very fast. It seemed a great place. They all seemed very friendly. The scones had been delicious. On the other hand, Jay still did not really know what the secret experiments mentioned in the advertisement were. But, then, after all, they were secret. That was the whole point. No doubt he would find out if he became a member of the team. He thought to himself that it could be a lot of fun; at the very least a lot more fun than he had expected from a holiday in Frimton.

  Jay looked up and surveyed the smiling faces awaiting his answer. He was just going to reply positively when he had a most strange sensation. He sensed that in addition to Tim, Ella and the Prof looking at him across the table, he was also being watched by someone – or something – else. He glanced quickly around the kitchen and suddenly the hairs stood up on the back of his neck. From the top of a Welsh dresser in the corner of the kitchen, two large, saucer-shaped eyes were staring unblinkingly back at him. A shiver ran through him. His smile froze and his mouth dropped unceremoniously open. It was some sort of large lizard. To his confused and startled mind, he wondered in that split second if that creature was the subject of the secret experiments. Was it perhaps some kind of miniature dinosaur?

  Tim broke the silence by laughing out loud. “Oh, it’s only Charlie. I wondered where he had got to.”

  At those words, the creature blinked. A long, slow blink as its eye-lids came down and went up like slow-motion shutters.

  “Charlie is Tim’s pet chameleon,” explained Ella. “You probably didn’t notice him earlier because chameleons can change colour to camouflage themselves. He probably turned himself greeny-blue like the kitchen wall and just merged into the background. He’s always doing it.”

  With that explanation, Jay remembered that he had read about chameleons in his ‘Treasury of Wildlife’ book at home. So not a mini-dinosaur after all. He felt a bit silly, even though no one else actually knew that was what he had been thinking. He also felt very relieved.

  “Sorry, my fault,” broke in the professor. “I should have explained. Apart from Chip, the terrier, whom you met with earlier at the gate and is now sitting under the table waiting for some scone to fall, there is Charlie up there, the chickens and goats I mentioned earlier and two cats, Ming and Mong who live in the out-buildings looking for mice. Finally, there is Toby our retired Shire horse, who at present is out in the meadow. Ella can introduce him to you later. I think that’s just about all the members of our team. There should be no more surprises quite like Charlie.”

  “What about Mr. Stiggles?” said Tim, with a mischievous grin.

  “Well, yes, Tim,” said the Prof, “I suppose there’s Mr. Stiggles, if we are going to be complete. Mr. Stiggles is my house-keeper’s husband and he is also our gardener and handyman. In fact, he’s helpful in all sorts of ways.”

  “When you can find him,” Tim added.

  The professor looked rather sharply at Tim. “Yes, quite. Thank you, Tim. It’s a big garden and Mr. Stiggles has to cover a lot of ground – literally. Anyway we are not concerned with Mr. Stiggles right now. We are concerned to find out if Jay will join the team. So what do you think, Jay, will you join us?”

  “Yes,” said Jay, whose heart had by now stopped racing, “I will.”

  CHAPTER 6

  Looking back later over that eventful summer, Jay came to think, once the adventures were over and done, that those first few weeks at ‘The Cedars’ were possibly the most enjoyable of all.

  The work was quite hard but there was plenty of time also to explore the gardens and have free time
in the company of Tim and Ella. After a few days, Jay had settled into a comfortable routine. Each morning the Prof would put outside the back door two large glass flagons, filled with a dark green liquid, which he had prepared overnight and which he called ‘luciferin.’ It was Jay’s job to mix a measure of this liquid with water in a number of watering-cans. The formula for doing this had been given to him the first morning by the Prof as “one part luciferin to nine parts water, that is ten percent green liquid to ninety percent water, if you see what I mean.” Jay did see what he meant and carefully mixed accordingly, helped by the fact that the watering-cans had measurements marked on the side in bold white paint.

  Having filled each can as instructed, Jay’s next job was to water the flower beds one by one in rotation, following the order in a schedule written up by the professor and pinned on the kitchen wall. The good thing was that the cans were not too large or too heavy and Jay could manage them quite easily. The less good thing was that this meant making lots and lots – and lots – of journeys to and fro across the gardens, filling and re-filling the cans through the morning. But the very good thing from Jay’s point of view was that he could work as quickly or slowly as he wished. He also found, much to his relief, that most of the garden was, in practice, looked after by Mr. Stiggles, the gardener and handyman.

  Sometimes, especially if it was a hot day, Jay would rest for a while and just enjoy the garden, watching the bees and other insects moving methodically from flower to flower. His favourite spot for taking a break and day-dreaming was a grass path which ran between two high hedges of clipped cypress. Here he would lie on his back out of the sun and watch the clouds as they emerged high above one hedge and slowly and majestically disappeared above the hedge on the other side. He was lying in this area one warm afternoon, thinking of nothing in particular, when he sensed a rhythmic, dull thud through the ground on which he lay. As the sound and vibration got stronger, he looked up. There, coming towards him down the grass path, was Mr. Stiggles leading Toby, the Shire horse, plodding steadily along with Ella sitting astride his broad back and Chip running in and out around his hooves.