But all of that planning went out the proverbial window when I pulled the Jeep into her driveway. Delia wasn’t waiting for me out front as she usually was, and when I knocked on her door, she answered it with a rueful smile.
“Hey,” she greeted me. “Sorry, I had a slight roadblock today.” Reaching behind her, she picked up one of her so-called sneakers, the same shoes she’d been using for the past three weeks. But today, the bottom of the shoe flopped down, torn away from the upper part. It wasn’t going to be repairable, I thought, and honestly, trying to fix it would’ve been a waste of time, anyway. Those sneakers were shit.
“Okay.” I rubbed my hands together. Truthfully, I’d been waiting for this opportunity, knowing it was inevitable. Those cheap sneaks weren’t going to last long with the punishment we were giving them. “Get some socks and put on your flip-flops. We’re going on a field trip.”
Delia frowned. “Where are we going?”
I tapped her cute little nose, smiling at her curious green eyes. “Me to know, you to find out. Snap to it, doll face. Time’s a-wasting.”
She did as I asked, and fifteen minutes later, we were pulling up in front of an ancient and dumpy storefront on the other side of Petersburg.
“Um, is this some kind of lesson you’re trying to teach me? Is there a sensei in this joint, like from an eighties movie?” She peered out the window of the Jeep, skepticism written all over her face.
“If we hear any inspirational power chords, we’ll just lie down until they go away.” I winked at her, and she sighed.
“Gotta love a guy who can quote Buffy, the Vampire Slayer.”
I bit back a grin, wondering if she’d heard herself. That had to be progress, right? She’d used the L word.
“C’mon, trust me. This place is amazing.” I hopped out of the car and went around to her side to open the door and then dragged her into the shop.
Inside, it was a whole different story. The lighting was soft and yet effective, and the walls were lined with the widest variety of running shoes in the state.
“Oh . . . my . . . God.” Delia breathed out the words. “What is this place?”
“Shaw!” The elderly man tottered from the back, beaming at us. “It’s been too long, my friend. Who have your brought me today?”
I rested one arm around Delia shoulders. “This is Delia Rollins, and she needs running shoes, Tom. Can you hook us up?”
Tom pointed to a chair. “Sit you right down, Miss Delia. We’re going to find you the perfect pair of shoes.”
Thirty minutes later, we were back on the road, heading to the trail, Delia admiring the brand-new pair of running shoes on her feet.
“Are you sure you want to go over the trail? It’s looking a little gray and threatening out there.” I craned my neck to look up at the sky.
“Of course, I’m sure. I have these awesome new shoes.” She shot me a warm smile. “Which, thank you for these. I could’ve bought them for myself, you know.”
I lifted one shoulder. “Call it my contribution to the cause. I was sick and tired of seeing those raggedy old excuses for running shoes.”
“These are so pretty.” She held up her foot again, examining it. “Plus, they make my feet feel incredible. And they’re so light.”
“Yeah, the right pair of shoes can make a big difference.” I glanced at her as I turned into the national park. Her face was aglow. Delia was always beautiful, but this afternoon, happiness seemed to emanate from within her. I wanted to hold her close and absorb as much of it as I could.
We got out at our regular starting point. Delia bounced on her toes as I set up our intervals on my watch.
“Watch out today, buddy.” She bumped her shoulder against mine. “I’m going to smoke you. With these news shoes, I’m going to run faster and jump higher. You won’t see me for dust.”
I smirked. “Big talker, huh? Let’s plan on seven miles today, then.”
She grinned. “I can do it. Easy peasy.”
“Of course, you can. Okay, let’s move.”
We set off on our normal relaxed pace. Delia had come a long way in three weeks, and I was proud of her.
“My feet feel so much better in these shoes,” she remarked as we jogged along. “I thought you were just being a prima donna about my old ones, but damn. These are incredible.”
“Having the right equipment is important.” I couldn’t hold back my smile as I glanced down at her. “Of course, how you use that equipment is just as important.”
Delia was quiet for a few moments, and I worried that I’d gone too far. When she finally spoke again, I had to focus to hear what she was saying.
“It’s been so long since I’ve thought about equipment and how to use it that I’m not sure . . . maybe I’ve lost my touch.” She coughed a little. “I mean, look at how easily I accepted that those old shoes were okay. I let myself believe that they were perfectly adequate for my needs. I was willing to just keep wearing them, day after day . . . but now that I have these amazing new sneakers, I realize that I was . . . settling for so much less than I could have.”
My heart was pounding in my ears, and it had nothing to do with any physical exertion. I didn’t want to read too much into what Delia was saying, but it sure as hell sounded to me as though she were changing her mind about something.
I was wracking my brain to come up with a witty comeback that might lure her into going just a little further along this figurative path when a crack of thunder shook the air. Delia stumbled a bit in surprise, and I reached for her arm out of instinct, to keep her from falling.
“Do you think we’re safe to keep going?” She slowed, gazing up at the sky which had become nearly black with angry storm clouds.
“I—”
There was another crack, and the sky opened up. Rain poured down on us in heavy, drenching droplets, soaking us almost immediately.
“Ack!” Delia turned her face upwards, eyes closed. “I guess that answers my question.”
I reached for her hand. “C’mon. We’ll book it back to the Jeep. This isn’t a passing shower, and it’s not going to let up any time soon. I think we’re officially rained out today.”
We sprinted together through the deluge until we reached the car. I got Delia into her side and then jumped in behind the wheel.
“Hold on a second, and I’ll turn on some heat.” I turned the key in the ignition and fiddled with the knobs until air blasted out of the vents. Next to me, Delia shivered.
“Sorry. It takes a minute to warm up.” I hesitated a second and then draped my arm around her shoulders and snugged her closer to me. At first, she stiffened in surprise, but after a few moments, I felt her relax, almost melting into my side.
“I guess I should’ve l-l-listened to you when you said the weather l-looked bad.” Her teeth were chattering.
“Eh, it could’ve gone either way. The rain just happened to hit a little sooner than we expected.”
“And here I thought I was extra fast today.” She turned her face up to mine, smiling, and the nearness of her made me dizzy.
“You were.” I couldn’t speak above a whisper, and I couldn’t tear my eyes from hers. I grazed my fingertips along her trembling jaw. “You’re still cold?”
She nodded. “Warmer by you, though.”
I slid my hand into the soaked strands of her hair, cradling her head. “But your teeth are chattering. Your lips are trembling.”
Her eyes, staring into mine, were huge, and I was slowly getting lost in their deep green depths. “You could do something about that.”
Her breath brushed across my cheek, teasing me and making me bolder. I nudged her face up just a tad more and before either of us could lose our nerve, I touched my lips to hers.
I didn’t mean it to be any more than an exploratory kiss, an experiment to make sure we were both on the same page. But the instant our lips connected, that same spark that had been dancing between the two of us for the past three weeks exploded, and with a groan, I crush
ed my mouth to hers.
Delia’s hands came up between us and her fingers curled into my shirt, holding onto me as though there was any chance I might release her. Not likely. Not while her mouth was opened to me, her tongue was meeting my own thrust for thrust and the small noises she was making deep in her throat were going straight to my dick. She tasted like sunshine and happiness, and I was hooked. I wanted more . . . but I was aware enough to know that for now, this kiss was enough. It had to be, because I wouldn’t risk spooking her by pushing too far.
And so instead, I stroked the tip of my tongue along the inside of her cheeks and sensitive fullness of her bottom lip. I framed her face with gentle hands and hoped that she could feel how much I cherished her and how much I cared.
She matched my every movement, not once pulling back or hesitating. We made out in the front seat of my Jeep like two horny teenagers, steaming up the windows as the rain continued to beat against the roof.
“Delia.” I murmured against her lips. “I really like you. I like you a lot.” I knew it sounded lame, but I wanted her to hear and feel what I meant.
She smiled, and I traced the curve of her lips.
“I guess I must really like you, too, or I wouldn’t be practically sitting on your lap out here in the middle of the wilderness.”
“Hey.” I eased back slightly. “You’re welcome to climb the rest of the way over here, if it’ll make you more comfortable. Just think how warm I could keep you over here.”
Delia laughed softly. “Always so full of good ideas, aren’t you?” She rested her forehead against mine. “Shaw . . . I want to ask you to take me home.”
My heart plunged, but she went on speaking.
“I want to ask you to . . . come home with me, to come inside with me and stay with me tonight. I wish I could do that. But I’m not sure I can yet. I do like you. It would be easier if I didn’t, but I do. The last weeks with you have been the most incredible I’ve had in five years, because I realized how much I’ve missed living all that time.”
I kissed her cheek, just to touch her. “Then I’m glad I could do that. No matter what else happens, I’m happy if I’ve done that much.”
“You make me want to keep climbing out of the safe little hole where I’ve burrowed for all this time. When I know that I’m going to see you, I’m happy. But I’m still scared, too.”
“What scares you, babe?” I skimmed my lips down her throat.
“Liking you too much.” She didn’t have to think about her answer. “Getting attached to you, maybe even . . .” She closed her eyes. “Falling in love with you. And knowing that you’re just about the least safe choice I could possibly make.”
I sighed. “That’s one way of looking at it, I guess. Or you could believe that if you do fall, I’m going to be right there with you, and I’d do everything in my power to make sure your heart is always safe.”
“That’s a promise that you might not be able to keep,” she murmured. “Dane . . . he loved me, Shaw. He adored me. We’d been together since we were sophomores in high school, and I never once doubted his commitment to me. But when it came down to it, he couldn’t stop that bullet from hitting him and taking his life.”
“You’re right,” I agreed. “But Delia, we all have a choice. We can hide away and protect our hearts by never letting anyone in, or we can decide to open up to love and life. Opening up means that we’re also exposed to hurt and pain and loss. And if you do that, no one is a safe choice. We’re all fragile, vulnerable human beings. Yes, Dane was in a line of work that put him at risk. Yes, I’m in that same profession. But what if it was you who died instead of him? What if you’d gotten hit by a bus or shot in a hold-up at the gas station? It could happen. Did you ever think that if I let myself fall in love with you, I’m the one who’s taking the biggest chance? You might decide I’m not worth the trouble, or maybe you’ll realize I don’t measure up to your memories of Dane. There are so many ways you could crush my heart.”
She blinked up at me, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. “I would never do that.”
“Not if you could help it, no. And I wouldn’t hurt you, either, if I could. But we could miss out on a hell of a lot of good stuff by being afraid of some bad stuff going down.”
Delia didn’t answer me, but her brow furrowed, and I knew she was thinking about what I’d said. I also knew that I had to be completely honest with her right now if I ever wanted to earn her complete trust.
“Delia, I need to tell you something else right now, so that you can know that I’ll always be truthful with you.” I drew in a deep breath. “Do you know what air assault school is?”
She shook her head.
“It’s a course that teaches us sling-loading and how to rappel out of helicopters. I’ve wanted to take it for a while, and a spot became available. I’m leaving in five days for Fort Campbell, Kentucky.”
She stiffened and tried to pull back, but I ignored that and went on.
“It’s only ten days, and then I’ll be back here. And Delia, it’s safe. They take precautions. I’m going to be fine.”
“How long have you know you were going to this school?” Her voice shook a little.
I held her gaze. “Since before we started training for the run. I didn’t say anything until now because I didn’t want you to worry about me missing some of our sessions together. But I was going to tell you today, no matter what.” I rubbed her lip with my thumb. “Even before I kissed you.”
Her forehead wrinkled. “I wish I could say it doesn’t matter to me, but I’d be lying to both of us. This is just a school. It isn’t combat. But I’m going to be a nervous wreck the whole time you’re away.”
I smiled. “Good.”
“In what universe is that good?” Delia glowered. “I thought you wanted me to believe that you’re a safe choice.”
“Don’t you see, Delia? You’re going to worry about me no matter what, right? If I hadn’t kissed you this afternoon, you’d still get a little freaked about me going to air assault, wouldn’t you?”
I could see understanding beginning to dawn, and she nodded. “Yeah. Of course, I would.”
“So you can worry about me as my friend, and miss out on all the perks of us being a couple, or you can worry about me as my girlfriend, and we could be together before I go and after I get back safely. See, it turns out that either way, you have to go through the same shitty part—the worry—but we could choose to be together, and then we get the fringe benefits.” I let the smile that had been threatening finally break through, curving my lips. “And babe, the fringe benefits make everything else worth it. That’s one thing I can promise.”
She stared out the windshield, where only now the rain was beginning to abate a little. “I need to think about all of this a little bit—on my own. I can’t form many coherent thoughts when I’m this close to you.”
“I know the feeling.” Regretfully, I released her and reached back around to buckle my seat belt. “I’ll take you home now, and I won’t push you. But I’m going to be at your front door tomorrow at our regular time. No matter what you decide about us, your training continues. Is that a deal?”
Delia nodded. “I’ll be ready.” She managed a half-smile. “After all, I still have these super-cool new running shoes to finish breaking in.”
“True.” I raised one eyebrow. “The only thing you have to decide is if you’re running from something that scares you . . . or to something, someone who wants to make you forget everything you’ve ever feared.”
Chapter Six
Delia
“Mrs. Rollins? Did you hear me? Mrs. Rollins?”
With great effort, I jerked my attention away from my own preoccupation to focus on the little girl standing in front of my desk.
“I’m sorry, Annie. What were you saying?”
She held up one small finger. “I cut my finger on the coloring page. Can I go to the nurse?”
“Let me see it.” Cradling her hand in m
ine, I studied the wound. “Oh, honey, it’s just a teeny-tiny papercut. I have some Band-Aids here I can put on it. You don’t have to go down to the nurse. Now, do you want princesses or superheroes?”
Annie considered her options. “Do you have any superhero princesses? I’m strong, but I like to be pretty, too.”
I laughed and stroked the child’s black curls. “Let me see what I have. They ought to make superhero princesses, shouldn’t they? Hmmmm.” Rummaging through my collection, we decided that the best thing we could do was use two mini-bandages: one pink princess and one red Ironman.
“There now. You’re all set. Go finish your picture, because it’s almost time to go home.”
Annie pouted out her lip. “I don’t want to color anymore. The paper hurts my hands when it cuts me. I don’t want to get another papercut.”
“Baby doll, don’t be silly.” I patted her back. “Coloring isn’t dangerous. Papercuts happen sometimes, but if you worry all the time about getting cut, you miss out on the fun of . . .” I stopped speaking as I heard what I was saying, realizing that I was using the same argument with Annie that Shaw had brought up yesterday. Clearing my throat, I continued. “Of coloring and doing all your amazing art projects. Your finger doesn’t really hurt anymore, does it?”
She shook her head, frowning at the offending finger.
“So see, it was just a little bit of a sting, and you’d give up making all your beautiful drawings and pictures because you’re afraid of that little sting? You’d be missing out, and the rest of us wouldn’t get to enjoy your pretty pictures, either.” I leaned down, whispering in her ear. “Personally, I think you need to draw me a special picture of a superhero princess. I think it’s just what I need today.”
Annie grinned up at me. “Okay. I’ll do it real fast, so you can take it home with you this weekend!” She scampered back to her desk and went to work.
An hour later, I sat in my empty classroom, gazing down at the drawing Annie had left with me. Her first-grade level rendering of a princess left something to be desired, of course, but there was no mistaking the inherent strength in the character she’d drawn, the broad smile on the warrior princess’s face, the red hair covering her round head or the adorable pink shoes the princess wore. When she’d slid the paper across my desk to me, Annie had whispered conspiratorially to me.
Hitting the Silk: A Career Soldier Military Romance Page 6
