Stanton Unconditional

by T L Swan

  “And you are going to stop being a drama queen and leaving me every minute.”

  I smile. “I am?”

  He nods and kisses me. “You are.”

  “And you’re not going to America?” I repeat as I rub my hands over his broad shoulders. Hope blooms in my stomach.

  “No, presh, I’m not.” He bends and tenderly swipes his tongue through my lips. “Now eat your breakfast because you are going to need your strength.”

  “Why will I need my strength?” I ask.

  He smirks as his eyes drop down my body and he gently cracks his neck. “Because I have the worst case of blue balls known to man and as soon as you are well enough you are going to cop it … both barrels.”

  I giggle as he sits me back onto the stool and he serves up my breakfast.

  He bites his toast as he leans over the bench onto his elbows. “You do know I am going to kill Christopher next time I see him, right?” he remarks casually.

  My eyes widen and my fork stops midair.

  He takes a bite of his toast then smirks and raises an eyebrow in a silent dare to say something.

  I swallow the lump in my throat.

  “Why?” I whisper.

  He raises an eyebrow again. “You know why.”

  Oh shit, what the hell have I written in those bloody diaries? So much for privacy.

  It’s been a big day. I told the boys today that I am moving to Australia, and they took it better than expected. I know Murph’s upset … I’m upset. I love LA … but I need Tash in my life and I want to protect her from the paparazzi at all costs. They don’t follow me here in Australia as much as in LA. Cam was fine—he was always coming home to Australia but what does that mean for Adrian? I wish the thing with Nicholas had worked out and then we could have all moved here together.

  We have been home for a few hours. Natasha insisted we go to the police station and press charges against this lunatic. She demanded more money today, claiming she had another disk. I have to admit I do feel relieved having done it. It was appalling making the statement but the policemen were understanding, I can’t imagine the horror of my love watching me have sex with a prostitute. She will never look at me the same again if she sees that tape. My heart drops. I’m just so sick of all this drama—what does it feel like to have a normal private life without worry?

  I continue reading emails on my laptop and rub my chin as I think. I am sitting up in bed and Natasha has just finished in the shower. My mind wanders to my horse stud—what am I going to do with the move? Natasha walks into the bedroom in a pale pink pair of underpants and a shoestring strap singlet to match. Her thick dark hair is in a loose plait that hangs down her back and her dark skin is in contrast to the pale pink. She looks edible. My cock twitches and I run my tongue over my bottom lip as want starts to fill me.

  I watch her walk around to my side of the bed and retrieve her diary from the second drawer. I inhale as she bends next to me … mmm she smells like soap. I start to feel my pulse between my legs. I put my hand on her thigh as she bends and run it up to her behind.

  “You smell good,” I smile as I inhale. I kiss her upper thigh.

  “Of course,” she smiles. “I always smell good.”

  I watch her walk back around to her side of the bed and sit with her back up against the headboard. She sits and thinks for a minute and then starts to write in her diary. I smile to myself. She writes in front of me now. I mean what’s to hide, I have read them all. The fact that she writes in a diary is so nerdy but so damn cute at the same time. I try to concentrate on my email. Fuck she smells good. I shake my head as I try to concentrate. I lean over, kiss her shoulder and lick her upper arm. She smiles and kisses the top of my head in return. I try to re-engage with my email. I can see her in my peripheral vision writing and feel her body calling to mine. A wave of arousal runs through me, she needs to be filled. I bend and take her nipple into my mouth through her singlet, her shoulders fall back to give me access and she sighs softly. I nuzzle my head deeper into her chest and inhale her scent. This is home … where I belong … with the woman I belong to. I smile into her chest as the realisation hits me and she runs her hand gently over the top of my head. I kiss my way down her body and slowly lift her singlet to get access to her skin. God, she smells good. I move lower and bite her through the fabric of her underpants and once again nuzzle into her as I inhale and close my eyes in pleasure. Hmm, my arousal starts to pump heavily between my legs and I crack my neck to relieve the tight pressure. I slide her panties down her legs and off, and our eyes meet. This is my favourite thing in the world … her taste … her smell … her love is right here between us when I do this. Nothing feels better than to give her this pleasure, to give myself this pleasure. This is the one place I lose myself and there is nothing on this earth but me … and her … my precious girl. I part her with my fingers and look at her pink opening between fingers, our eyes meet again and her breath catches and she runs her hand tenderly down my cheek and swipes her fingers gently across my lips. I kiss her fingertips and then slowly lower and lick her deeply. She groans and writhes under me, deeper I lick as my eyes close in pleasure and I rub my hips into the bed beneath me to relieve the pressure in my thumping cock. Fuck, she tastes so good. My head starts to take on its own side-to-side action as I lose myself and start to get to a place where I cannot pull back. I couldn’t stop if I tried. My hands are under her legs and around on her hipbones. I could orgasm by just running my hands over her hipbones. When I have my hands on her hipbones I am usually inside her and pulling her onto me—they are a massive trigger. I run my tongue deep into her again and again and she writhes under me in pleasure. I gently take her clitoris between my teeth and pull back in a stretching motion and she groans loudly. My cock is really thumping now and I grind it hard into the mattress for relief. I need to be inside her and I need to watch. I slowly part her again and push a finger into her. We both groan and I start to feel my pulse in my ears as my cock starts to seep pre-ejaculate. She’s so tight, so fucking hot and unimaginably perfect. My eyes close. I add another finger and circle my tongue over her clitoris as I start to pump my fingers in and out of her. Her soft sighs call to my body on a level that I will never understand, the need in me to be inside of her … to hold her is uncomprehendable, yet the only thing that makes sense in this messed-up world.

  “Josh,” she whispers as her body lifts off the bed to meet my face.

  I smile into her, this is what I love. When she needs to be filled so badly that she starts to beg me for it.

  “Josh, please baby.” She runs her hands over my head as her legs drop all the way to the mattress. My eyes close in pleasure as I inhale deeply.

  I keep pumping her hard so that the bed starts to move and she starts to really writhe.

  “Josh. Now!” she demands.

  “I need to watch, presh,” I whisper as I sit up. I remove my boxers and sit towards the side of the bed. “Face the mirror my beautiful girl.” She frowns and then sits in front of me, her back to my front. I arrange her body to lie back over mine and spread her legs wide to hook over my legs.

  “Watch,” I whisper. Her breath catches as she looks into the mirror and sees her beautiful pink vagina spread out in front of our eyes. My cock lies hard beneath her opening. I can see it weeping from here. I bring my hand over her shoulder and down to her beautiful wet opening and slowly start to run my fingers through her dripping flesh. Her eyes stay riveted on the mirror. My eyes are locked on the beautiful woman lying open for me in the mirror, her breasts rise and fall as she gasps for breath, the shadowing on her stomach, the pink colouring of her opening. The second opening … I want to be in there. I need to fuck that beautiful ass so badly. She’s not ready for me there yet, I have to remind myself that every time I take her. I can’t wait for the day when she is. I bring my finger up from her and put it into her mouth, she sucks it as her eyes close.

  “Touch yourself,” I whisper.

  Her scared e
yes meet mine in the mirror and I smile as I kiss her. “It’s ok, presh, it’s just you and me here. You can be yourself with me. You know I love to watch you baby and we need to start doing things my way,” I whisper as I bite her neck. “You want to please me, don’t you?”

  I kiss her deeply over her shoulder and she shakes her head nervously.

  “I want you to put your fingers into that beautiful tight cunt of yours,” I whisper into her neck as I watch her in the mirror. Her breath catches and she brings her hand around and starts to run them through her lips. I can smell her arousal and I crack my neck hard.

  “In,” I whisper, “put them in.” My cock starts to thump with need. I watch as her index finger disappears into her body and my breath catches as her eyes close. “Two,” I whisper. Her eyes hold mine as she adds another finger and I nearly come on the spot. My cock starts to throb with such velocity that I can hardly sit still. “In and out,” I breathe as I run my hands over her body and start to squeeze her nipples. She starts to pulse her fingers in and out as her eyes close. The visual runs through my head of me taking her anally in this position as she does this, and it makes me clench to stop myself from orgasming. I have never been with a hotter woman, she is on fire. She reaches down and picks up my penis and feeds it into her. Both of our eyes are locked onto the mirror as my cock slowly disappears into her body, she moans softly and I bite my lip hard to stop myself from coming. I can’t control it anymore. I pick up her legs and hold them back as I start to lift off the bed to give her what we so desperately both need. Her head drops back to my shoulder as I pound into her as hard as I can. She starts to hold herself off the bed on straightened arms so I can grab her hips and really piston into her. The sight of her open as my penis pounds into her body and the feeling of her deep internal muscles contracting around my cock tips me over the edge and I cry out.

  “Keep fucking going,” she moans, chasing her own orgasm and I give her everything I have until she screams out and falls back onto my chest and we both fall to the mattress.

  Her tongue swipes through my open lips. I will never tire of the perfect intimacy between us.

  “I love you,” I breathe.

  She giggles into my neck. “You are the Lamborghini of all Lamborghinis and I love you.”

  I smile as I gently pull out, we both lie silent and try to catch our breath as we look at each other and I smile broadly.

  “What?” she whispers shyly.

  “You like to watch too.” I smile.

  She bites her lip as she giggles. “You are a bad influence on me, Mr Stanton.”

  I lean in and kiss her passionately. I love this woman. We lie in each other’s arms for another ten minutes.

  “I’m having a shower,” Tash whispers as she kisses me again quickly on the lips. “I smell like semen.”

  I smile and rub my hand over her ass. “I like you smelling like my semen.”

  “Shower,” she repeats.

  “Hmm,” I sigh as I put the back of my forearm over my eyes. “Meet you in there presh.” She stands and I roll and grab her ass. “Seconds?” I raise a brow in question.

  “Hmm, later.” She smiles as she jumps up and leaves the room, I hear the shower turn on and I lie in the silence for a moment as my heart rate slows. God, she’s incredible. I have never had sex like I have with her. We are so compatible. I start to doze in a hazy state of contentment.

  “Joshua, get in here,” she yells and I smile with my eyes closed. Demanding thing. I swing my legs to get out of bed and accidentally knock her diary off the bedside table and onto the floor. I yawn as I bend and pick it up. This is the new one that I haven’t read. I open a random page and smile as I start to read.

  “Joshua!” she calls.

  Joshua told me last night that he only wants to have sex and has no intention of picking up where we left off. I’m gutted, in tears as I write this, I thought everything was going to turn out between us. It’s becoming more apparent every day that he doesn’t feel the same as I do. Maybe he never has?

  Guilt hits me in the stomach. The night in the restaurant—I remember it well. Why am I such a selfish prick? I shake my head in disgust at myself.

  “Josh I’m washing myself,” she calls and I smile again as I continue reading.

  I think the girls might be right when they say I will one day regret not sleeping with anyone else. I wish I could release myself from Joshua’s grip … for just one night. I want to feel another man’s hands on me … inside of me.

  Pain lances through my chest. What?

  I already know I will never be able to betray him like that. I belong to him and I guess it is something that I will die wondering about. How does it feel to have sex with someone you don’t love? To have no emotional connection. No pain when they leave. I want it so badly but I love Joshua more. I will stay loyal to him forever, even if he doesn’t want me. The sick thing is even if we get back together deep down I know I will always wish I had done it when I had the chance. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

  I snap the diary shut in a rush and put my hand over my mouth as nausea fills my stomach. She craves another man’s touch. I drop my head into my hands as I sit on the side of the bed, and a lump forms in my throat. I had no idea she felt like this … I just assumed. After every sacrifice she has made for me over the years she still craves another man’s touch and no matter how hard I try that is something I cannot give her.

  I look out the window as we turn into the hospital. It’s Monday morning and Joshua is dropping me at work. We have a security car in front and one behind us. I bite my bottom lip as I study him.

  “Is something wrong?” I ask as I reach over and run my hand up the back of his neck.

  He frowns and his eyes flick to me. “No, why do you say that?”

  I shrug. “You’re just quiet.”

  He smiles softly as he reaches over, picks up my hand and kisses the back of it. “I will be happy when this psycho doesn’t get off today.”

  I nod uncomfortably. “Me too, do you think he will?” Coby Allender’s bail hearing is going to court today. Max is going to watch in the public gallery.

  He shakes his head in frustration and shrugs his shoulders. “Hope so.”

  I continue to watch him, that’s not it. “Are you sure that’s all it is? You have been quiet all weekend and you have hardly eaten a thing since Friday.”

  He frowns at me as he chews his thumbnail. “Natasha, a serial killer who has possibly stolen your vibrator and a sexual blackmail case against me is a reason to worry, don’t you think?” he snaps.

  I nod sympathetically. “Yes, you’re right. Sorry.” We pull into the drop-off area and my guard gets out of the car behind us.

  “Don’t leave the hospital, okay?” He runs his hand up my thigh.

  I smile softly as I nod. “Okay,” I whisper.

  “Take the guard with you if you leave your office.”

  I smile again.

  “What?” he frowns.

  “You’re very cute when you get all over-protective.” I smile.

  “I mean it, do as you’re told. This is serious.” He frowns.

  “Yes boss,” I whisper as I lean in to kiss him. “Will you ring me when you hear from Max?”

  “If the murderer gets off, I am coming to get you straight away,” he snaps.

  “Oh god, Joshua, now you’re being a drama queen.” I run my hand through his stubble. “I love you,” I whisper.

  His face drops and his eyes search mine. “I love you too,” he whispers as he forces a smile.

  I narrow my eyes at him. “Why do you look at me like that when I tell you I love you?” I ask.

  He frowns. “Like what?”

  I shrug my shoulders. “Nothing. I will see you when you pick me up.”

  He nods. “See you then.”

  “Do you want to go out for dinner?” I ask hopefully.

  “No,” he answers.

  “Why?”

  “You know why�
��it’s like sitting in a goldfish bowl with all the security surrounding us. I don’t enjoy going out at the moment.”

  “Are you going to let us be prisoners in my apartment for the rest of our lives?” I sigh. “You think I like this shit!” he snaps.

  “Whatever,” I sigh. “See you tonight.” I exit the car in a rush and he waits until I walk into the building. God, he’s so bloody wound up at the moment.

  Eight o’clock that night we are sprawled on my lounge watching television as I eat chocolate ice cream. My feet are on Joshua’s lap and he is deep in thought. I can tell by the way he is running the side of his pointer finger back and forth over his lips, his elbow resting on the side rest.

  “What are you thinking about?” I ask.

  He looks towards me as I pull him from his thoughts. “Just how I would do anything to make you happy.” He picks up my foot and kisses the top of it and smirks at me.

  I smile and guilt runs through me. He is trying so hard but I know deep down he is devastated about leaving his life in LA and Willowvale. When I put the pieces together I realised that he has not been himself since he told the boys he is moving here.

  “Josh … I’ve been thinking about it.” I bite my lip as I contemplate whether I am doing the right thing.

  He raises an eyebrow in question.

  “You know I love you too much to let you sacrifice for me.”

  His face drops. “What do you mean?”

  “I know you don’t want to leave LA,” I answer.

  He rolls his lips as he thinks. “You have sacrificed enough for me over the years, presh … it’s my turn.”

  I smile sadly. “I don’t want you to ever sacrifice to be with me, Joshua.”

  He smiles and kisses my foot again. His eyes hold mine.

  “I will move to LA,” I blurt out.

  He frowns.

  “But … I want Mum and the girls to have unlimited plane tickets to visit me.”