Made To Love You

by Megan Smith

  I like that. I like that he came to me. It shows that maybe he’s ready to finally talk to me about the shit that went down last year. I think it’s time we bury it.

  “I’m glad she’s having a good time,” Hunter nods towards mom.

  I get a little choked up again after burying those feelings just a few moments ago. I swallow a few times trying to keep the emotions from bubbling up. “She’s having a great time with Ryder.” And as I watch her I can’t help but let the tears free. I lean my head on Hunter’s shoulder. “What if she’s not here for my wedding? Not here when I have babies? Not here when I just need mom.” It’s the first time I’ve ever said those words out loud and I never pictured saying them to him of all people.

  Hunter leads me from the dance floor and out on the balcony. It’s freezing since it’s the middle of winter but there are enough heaters scattered around to keep us a little bit warm.

  Hunter pulls out a chair for me to sit in then he takes one and pulls it in front of me. He takes my hands in his. “I’m going to be here, Jay. Me, just like I’ve always been for you.” He swears. “I’ll always be here, no matter what, but you can’t think like that, okay? Mom is strong, one of the strongest women I know. But I know someone who is just as strong.”

  “Who?”

  “You.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes, you, what you went through isn’t something a lot of people can get past.” He lets go of my hands and scratches at the side of his face. “I had a hell of a time getting over it and it didn’t even happen to me. I wasn’t there to pick up the pieces for you and you left me in the dark about the whole thing.”

  And there it is…the root of our problem.

  “You were so pissed at me though.”

  He shakes his head. “I wasn’t mad at you completely. I was more pissed at myself and that fucking asshole who had his hands on you.” He blows out a deep breath. “Last year when you told me you had to tell me something I thought it was going to be that you were getting married or some crazy shit like that. I had no idea that you were dealing with that situation,” he can’t even say the words, “for that long by yourself.” He starts talking faster, he’s getting more pissed off again and that’s not what I want.

  “It’s because that’s the way I had to deal with it, Hunter.” I grab his hands like he did mine. “When Cooper found me in that room I was so thankful. If that asshole would have gone further than he did I wouldn’t be the same person I am today. I had to work all of that out in my head and then I had to move on for me, bury that shit in the past.” I really hope he understood what I was trying to say. “I put myself in that situation, me, all by myself and I had to be the one to get myself out. Cooper was there—”

  “But it should have been me,” he interrupts. “You’re my sister; I should have been there to protect you just like I always have.”

  “And that’s where you’re wrong.” I smile sadly at him. “Yes, I’m your sister but you have your own family to take care of, Hunter. I couldn’t put this on you when I had Cooper there for me. He held me when I needed to be held. He washed away the fears that I had. He was my rock during all of that.”

  “But yet he still held you at an arm’s length all that time.”

  “He did.” I nod, I’m not going to lie. “He did because he saw what happened to me. He saw the damage that had been done. He blamed himself for pushing me away when he should have kept me by his side.” I look down to his hands. “He blamed himself for what happened to me.” A tear slips down my cheek and lands in Hunter’s hand.

  He tips my chin up. “I still wish that you would have called and told me about it when it happened. I feel like I failed at being your big brother.”

  “You’ll never fail at being my big brother,” I assure him.

  “Just know that I’ll always be here for you no matter what. Even if it’s something so stupid like you cut your finger open, you need a Band-Aid and Cooper isn’t there. Just call me.”

  “Just call you,” I say nodding my head.

  “So will you ever tell me what his name is?”

  “Never,” I shake my head. He wants Kevin’s name so that he can do a background check on him and then probably hunt him down. “It’s buried in the past where it’ll stay forever.”

  I don’t want to relive those moments when I had to tell Hunter, the look and the anger, a simmering violence just underneath Hunter’s protective façade.

  Boy was he pissed when he found out.

  My heart started hammering and my stomach twisted. “Okay, there is something I think I’m ready to tell you, too.”

  Hunter nodded his head. “I’m listening.”

  “Just hear me out before you say anything, okay? I just need to get it out.”

  “Alright.”

  “Cooper, Eli and I went to a party at one of the frat houses. A few hours passed and one of my friends introduced me to a guy. After countless beers I wasn’t thinking clearly with all the alcohol in my system. I started to feel the room spin and I suddenly didn’t feel very well. I started to get really hot and thought maybe I had drank more than I realized. The guy I was with brought me up to his room, said it was cooler since he had the air on.” I started crying because this is the hard part. “He slipped something in my drink.”

  “Jay,” Hunter warns, “don’t fucking tell me something happened.”

  Before his mind takes off in a different direction I tell him. “He didn’t rape me but it came pretty damn close.”

  “Where the fuck was Cooper?” Hunter seethes. His nostrils flared and his jaw was set.

  “He saved me.”

  “Why the hell didn’t you ever tell me? Jay, I didn’t put up a fight that you wanted to go there because I thought you’d be safe.” He hauls off and punches the side of his truck.

  “I’m fine. Cooper was there.”

  “You made me a promise that if anything happened to you while you were there you would tell me.”

  “I’m telling you now!” I yelled back.

  “But you broke your promise!”

  “Hunter,” I take a step towards him and he backs away. My brother has always been there for me. He stepped up when our dad checked out.

  “Just don’t, alright. Just don’t.”

  He stormed into the back yard, gathered up MacKenzie and Ryder and left.

  Hunter frowns until the patio door opens and his wife appears. “There you two are.” MacKenzie steps out and Cooper follows behind her. “I got worried.”

  “See,” I tease Hunter.

  He smirks knowing I was right that he has his own family to worry about. “Alright, maybe you have a little point.”

  MacKenzie perches herself on Hunter’s lap and wraps an arm around him. Cooper pulls me and then sits me on his lap where he wraps his arms around my middle.

  “You guys good?” Cooper eyes the both of us.

  Hunter speaks up first. “As long as you continue to take care of my sister we’re good.”

  Cooper doesn’t hesitate. “Just like you take care of mine.”

  MacKenzie is staring through the window. “Wanna bet that Eli is about to kiss Layla in front of everyone?”

  I’m so glad that they decided to come to the wedding. She was afraid to leave her sister, Fallon, all alone on New Year’s but she’s with her mom. This whole time I thought I had issues but Layla beats all of mine hands down. I’m glad that Eli and Layla came though, Layla needs to let loose a little. She’s always so responsible and every once in a while you need to let your hair down and have some fun.

  “Let’s go dance,” I say hopping off Cooper’s lap.

  He groans climbing to his feet. “Can’t I change out of this stuffy tux?”

  “Not yet, lover boy.” I grab Cooper by his tie and lead him to the dance floor. When we opened the door we heard Hailey hooting and hollering. I glance up just in time to see Layla lean up on her tip toes, wrap her arms around Eli and kiss the ever loving hell out of him.r />
  “Well, look at that,” Cooper chuckles. “I don’t know why they insisted on hiding it. I mean it was pretty obvious at Christmas.”

  I slap him playfully on the chest. “Leave them alone.”

  When we reach the dance floor a slow song starts and we make our way over toward Layla and Eli.

  “I told you so,” Cooper says to Eli with a smirk.

  Layla raises her eyebrows in confusion. “Huh?”

  “This guy,” Cooper nods towards Eli. “A long time ago when we were back in college and Eli was whoring around, he said that he’d never fall hard for a girl to the point where nothing else in the world mattered.”

  Eli nods. “I didn’t just fall, I fucking fell face first.”

  He did, he did exactly what Cooper said would happen and we were all lucky enough to see it happen.

  Mason and Hailey say goodbye just after two in the morning and everyone else slowly trickled behind.

  Cooper comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me. “Ready to get out of here?”

  I nod. “Yeah, let’s walk mom back to her room first, too.”

  We make our way over to where mom is sitting at a table by herself with a smile on her face. She’s just sitting back watching Hunter dance with Olivia and MacKenzie dance with Ryder.

  “Hey, Mom, Cooper and I are heading back to the room. Want us to walk over with you?”

  Mom reaches for her purse then stands. “Sure, that would be great.”

  We say goodbye to the few people left and walk back through the casino catching stares as to how we’re dressed. We stop on mom’s floor, one lower than ours, and walk her down to her room.

  She slips her key card in her room and pushes open the door. She sways but catches herself. I instantly panic and reach forward. Mom glances down to my hand and covers it with hers. She sees the worry in my eyes. “I’m fine, just a little tired.”

  “Mom…”

  “I’m not used to staying up this late, sweetheart,” she glances behind me towards Cooper. “Take care of my daughter.”

  “Always.”

  Mom’s eyes return to mine. “Goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  I lean in and kiss her on the cheek. “Love you.”

  “Love you, too.” Then she steps back and the door shuts. I wait a second to make sure she locks the door.

  Cooper tugs my hand. “You heard your mom,” he waggles his eyebrows. “I’m going to go take care of you.”

  I laugh all the way back to the elevator. “You are something else, Mr. Cahill.”

  He nuzzles into my neck after we step into the elevator and hit the up arrow. “I’m going to show you something else.”

  Once again, Cooper has the ability to make me forget everything and just exist with him in the moment. He’s good at it and he knows when I need that distraction…he’s my one true love, my soul mate, my forever.

  Cooper

  It’s been two weeks since Mason and Hailey’s wedding and I keep wondering if enough time has passed before asking Jaylinn to marry me. I know I shouldn’t care about any of that because it’s not going to change the fact that I want her to be my wife, but, I don’t want anyone to doubt the reasons why I’m asking her. I don’t want them to think I’m doing it because Mason just got married, or that everyone else in our family is married, or even because her mom has cancer.

  “Fuck!” I grumble to myself as I toss the ring back in my drawer. I’ve been hiding it here at Fierce so Jaylinn wouldn’t find it. The last thing I need her to do is stumble upon it.

  I sit down in my chair huffing and puffing as I stare out the window towards the ocean. I can’t talk to anyone about what I’m going through either because it’ll make me look like a pussy.

  “Damn it.” I clasp my hands over the top of my head.

  “What the hell is your problem?”

  I swing around in my chair finding Eli leaning against the door frame. “Nothing.”

  He narrows his eyes at me. “That didn’t sound like nothing.”

  I turn back around in my chair. “Just got something on my mind that I’m trying to deal with.”

  “You suck at dealing with shit.”

  I huff. He’s right. If something is wrong or needs to be dealt with I just do it. I’ve always been a do now, deal with things later type of person.

  The chair squeaks as Eli sits in an empty chair. He’s not going to leave me alone until I tell him what is bothering me. Maybe I should lie and tell him it’s something about the paperwork scattered around on my desk. Then I think better of it because if there was a problem he’d know about it. Maybe I can tell him it’s about the upcoming season and starting with a new team is stressing me a little.

  “I’ve got all day.” Eli kicks his feet up on my desk making himself at home.

  I turn back around in my chair weighing my options of telling him.

  Screw it. “I want to ask Jaylinn to marry me.” I rush out the words and it feels like a weight has been lifted just by saying those words out loud.

  Eli throws his head back and laughs. I pick up the nearest thing, which happens to be a pen, and throw it at him.

  “This is what you’re in here pouting about?”

  “I’m not pouting,” I cross my arms over my chest.

  “You are.”

  Shaking my head, “What are we, five?”

  Eli shrugs. “So, just ask her already. I don’t see what the problem is.”

  “You wouldn’t,” I mutter as I lean back in my chair. “It’s too soon I think.”

  Eli twirls the pen I threw at him between his fingers. “What does that even mean?”

  I run a hand threw my hair. “Mason just got married—”

  He cuts me off. “So?”

  “She just found out her mom has cancer.”

  “Again, so?”

  I huff, this is exhausting. “I just don’t want people to judge us.”

  Eli removes his feet from my desk and sits up in his chair. “Where the hell are your balls, Coop? And I’m not talking about the ones you hit with the bat. Why do you care what anyone else thinks?” He shakes his head in disbelief. “You’ve never let anyone stop you from what you’ve wanted in the past.”

  “I know,” I answer honestly. If someone tells me I can’t do something it makes me only want to do it more.

  “Then why are you letting that shit stop you? Life is to fucking short to care what other people think and you should know that first hand.”

  I let his words sink in for a minute. He’s absolutely right. I’ve never let them stop me before and why would I let them now? And without knowing how long Sadie will be able to battle this cancer should just be one more reason why I don’t wait.

  “Everyone knows that this is the next step for you and Jaylinn. No one knows when, how, or any of the rest of the details, and no one needs to know. If it’s Jaylinn you want to marry then fucking marry her.”

  I smile at Eli. He’s got a way with his words. “When did you get so smart?”

  “I’ll answer that,” Layla interjects.

  My breath catches hoping that Jaylinn isn’t with her. If she heard it could ruin what I plan on doing.

  Breathe in.

  Layla steps into my office and takes the empty seat next to Eli.

  Breathe out.

  “I think I’m the reason he’s so smart. He won’t admit it yet though, so we’ve got some work to do,” Layla smiles sweetly at him.

  Breathe in.

  My eyes glance to the door and I hope beyond hope that Jaylinn doesn’t walk in any second.

  “I’m smart without you,” Eli defends himself.

  Breathe out.

  I glance towards the both of them and they’re both looking at me like I’ve grown a second head.

  “Do you want me to go?” Layla stands.

  “No,” I mask the worry when I realize that she’s not here and my proposal hasn’t been ruined. “You’re fine.”

  After that, o
ur conversation switches to work and we go over marketing ideas for this coming summer and work on the schedule for entertainment. Layla’s got some good ideas and it’s then that I realize that we made the right move by having her step up to a management position.

  When we get a good amount of the planning done we realized it was just after three in the afternoon.

  Layla’s stomach growls loud and she giggles. “I’m starving.”

  An emotion I’m not used to seeing slams down on Eli’s face. He’s on his feet and dragging Layla out the door the next second. He calls out over his shoulder, “We’ll see you tomorrow.

  “Bye,” Layla yells.

  I know from the stories that Jaylinn has told me that Layla had a really rough start in life. I’m sure her past still gets under Eli’s skin. I know it would mine. Layla is very independent and refuses to take any handouts unless she’s left with no choice. Hence the reason Layla and her sister Fallon have moved in with Eli. It was either that or live on the streets. Layla was smart enough to know that she couldn’t ask that piece of shit ex-boyfriend to help her anymore. Not when Eli stepped up and offered her this job and a roof over her head. It’s nice to see Eli, the man-whore that he was, so head over heels for a girl. I never thought the day would come for him.

  I start cleaning up my desk, save a couple documents on my laptop and lock up for the night, since it’s Wednesday, and we aren’t open for business.

  Climbing into my truck I sit here for a second. I reach for the ring that I set on the passenger seat when I got in. I flip the lid open and stare down at my future. It’s nothing fancy because that’s not Jaylinn’s style. It’s a simple two carat round stone with an infinity band with tiny diamonds. I purchased the matching wedding band as well. As soon as I saw it I knew it was the one. It reminds me of the infinity ring that I got her two Christmas’ ago. I can’t wait to see it on her finger, to see the smile on her face and to know that I put it there. I can’t ever see myself being without her.

  I close the lid, toss it in the glove compartment and start up my truck. I’ve got the perfect plan but a little work that needs to be done first before I can make it happen. I send a quick text to Eli.

  Me 3:48pm: Cover for me this weekend and I got you for next weekend.