by Marisa Logan
Helena scrambled over a few boxes toward the front door. She wasn’t quite ready for her date yet. Time management was something she was going to have to work on.
She had lived in this apartment and this city for just over a month and some boxes hadn’t been unpacked yet, and others were empty and hadn’t been thrown away. Anyone coming in would have thought that she had moved in just yesterday.
Helena buzzed the intercom to let Stanley into her apartment building and grabbed handfuls of her hair to pull back into a ponytail. If her hair was straight it would have fallen more than halfway down her back, but her large curls bounced on her shoulders as she walked. She stood out more for the curls themselves than the bright pink streaks that were strewn about everywhere.
She managed to get her hair in a messy bun and frowned at her reflection in the mirror. She let her hair out and swept it to one side instead. She picked up a purse that looked like a miniature backpack and went out the front door of her apartment. Stanley had just turned to her floor from the flight of stairs when she came out and closed the door behind her.
“Hi there,” Helena said. Her voice was high and chipper despite the fact that they were both wearing dark colors. In fact, the only thing that stood out between them was the pink I her hair, and the single flower that Stanley was holding.
It was a large pink flower with dark freckles and a long stem. In a way, it made it seem as if the two of them matched.
“Hello,” Stanley said in a shy voice. He twirled the flower a bit in his hand. He wanted to tell Helena that she looked nice, but he was too nervous to say much else.
It surprised him that he had had enough courage to even agree to such an impromptu date. He had freaked out at school after Helena and her students left, and on the morning of his date with Helena he decided to take his lunch break off the school compound. He drove to a flower shop that was almost across town in order to get something he thought would be special to Helena. It had been his third visit to the flower shop in less than a week.
The flower shop was called Any Blooming Thing, and the dark haired woman with the nose ring and the little freckles had told him that a bouquet of flowers was too cliché for what he was going for. Instead, she picked out a single flower that she felt said a little about Stanley and a bit about Helena the beautiful art teacher. Knowing that a florist would obviously know more than him about flowers, and also probably more than he did about dating too, Stanley thanked the woman and promised to come back to that same flower shop because she had been so helpful to him.
“Is…is that for me?” Helena asked. They had been standing awkwardly in front of her door for several moments. She didn’t have the heart to mention that she had really been joking about the fact that this was going to be a date and that she wasn’t really expecting flowers. She also didn’t say anything about that because she was genuinely stunned by the fact that he had complied, and had brought her a flower so unusual that it even matched her hair.
“Yes, this is a lilium orientalis,” Stanley said while practically shoving it into her face. “Also known as the Stargazer lily, it’s not to be confused with the Starfighter or the Rubrum or the Sarbonne lily. They’re all in the same family. But this one I believe is the largest and the brightest or darkest, depending on how you look at it. I wasn’t too sure, so I did a quick search online.”
Helena laughed and took the flower. She breathed in its fragrance and sighed.
“It was really nice of you to actually get me a flower. It goes with my hair,” Helena said. For some reason, being around a crowded gymnasium gave her enough confidence to speak her mind.
Now that she was in her new apartment and in front of someone she didn’t know, she noticed the anxiety building up inside of her. She didn’t know what to say or what to talk about. Was he really going to give her a tour of the city? What if he took her seriously when she said that this was a date? She didn’t want to lie or have him expecting anything from her. But now that he was there, she didn’t know how to let him know what her intentions were, or tell him that she hoped that his intentions were pure like the Stargazer he had just given her.
After taking some time to figure out which part of town to explore first, they both decided on the local library. It was usually empty around this time. Stanley pointed out that there would be some information on the city and Helena would be able to find out about some of the potential places she could visit if she ever wanted to go exploring on her own. They only had 2 hours to be at the library because it was closed to the public at 10.
“I didn’t realize there was an exhibit here,” Helena said when they stepped into the library. It was a grand entranceway with marble floors, an information desk all along one wall, and a single dinosaur skeleton in the center of the room. Behind the enormous display were 3 openings that led to different sections of the library. In the large room was a deep green carpet and towering book cases. The shelves up along the walls had ladders attached to wheels in order to get to the books on higher shelves. It was something Helena had only seen in movies.
“Yes, this is an Apatosaurus. For a long time scientists considered them to be the same as Brontosauruses, but they found out some time last year that they were actually separate dinosaurs, and the Apatosaurus actually does exist.”
“Did exist,” Helena corrected. She was still holding the Stargazer in her hand, and she used it to point as she spoke.
“You’re right…did exist,” Stanley said. He was a little bit flustered by his mistake. It wasn’t a big deal, but he took any form of anything negative to heart.
“But it’s beautiful. I’ve never seen dinosaur remains in person before. I always liked them. Apatosaurus is my fave, you know?” Helena said studying the specimen before her. She looked like a kid in a candy store. Her green eyes widened when she looked from the top of the Apatosaurus’ head, down its long neck, and then over his body to its long tail.
“I’m a fan of the Diplodocus myself,” Stanley said. He pressed his finger on the bridge of his nose to adjust his glasses, and then he tucked his hands into the pockets of his pants. That was his safety. If he wasn’t holding something, then his hands would be hidden inside pockets.
“Are dinosaurs what made you want to become a science teacher?”
She was circling around the Apatosaurus display and running her hands along the rope that separated the patrons from the dinosaur.
“Among other things. I grew up here, and coming to the library when I was younger took my mind off of a lot of things happening in my life,” Stanley said.
He didn’t want to open up too much about his childhood. Helena could see that this was making him feel uncomfortable, and that made her feel awkward all over again.
She wasn’t in the mood to go down the road of explaining her childhood either. She wanted to get to know the new place she was living in, and she didn’t know Stanley well enough to be so open just yet.
“I actually wanted to be a more hands on scientist, but I fell in love with teaching when I was subbing for a professor I really admired. I’ve been meaning to lecture at a university, but I really love kids at this age. When they’re young like this we can help mold them.”
“Force them into liking science?” Helena joked. She was moving over to the large opening toward the right side of the room, and Stanley followed behind her.
“Well, a lot of children of color and women like science when they’re younger, but then they get discouraged over time, especially during middle school and high school years. So I’ve been trying to keep their interest level up,” Stanley said.
Helena felt a bit bad for laughing. He was trying to make a difference through teaching, and she was too.
“When I was a kid I wanted to be a painter. I wanted to be like Basquiat or Picasso; kind of childish and whimsical works that most people would find silly or just plain bad. But I was so well trained that trying to force myself into some contemporary primitivism just came off as a copycat of
Egon Schiele,” Helena said.
“I’m not sure who that is. Maybe I should have taken you to the art history museum or gallery first. I’m sure it would have inspired you to start painting again. If you love it, then you should allow yourself to do it.”
“That means a lot. I’m always worried that I’m painting like someone else instead of painting like me. And don’t worry about it. This is perfect. There’s barely anybody here, and I get to ride on a ladder. We can go to the museum and gallery some other time. I really appreciate this. Thank you for taking me out tonight,” she grinned at him.
“I didn’t really have much of a choice,” Stanley said. He meant it as a joke, and Helena playfully smacked him on the stomach. Stanley took one of his hands out of his pockets and rubbed his belly to feign being hurt.
Helena began dancing around the library, twirling up an aisle and then dancing on tiptoe in another. She stopped occasionally to take a look at a book that seemed to intrigue her. She went mostly for worn books with gold writing along the spine.
“I figure if they’re worn that means a lot of people have read them, and that says something about books,” she had said when she caught up with Stanley. Instead of walking down each aisle, he walked alongside in order to watch Helena as she danced to music that only she could hear.
“I never thought about it that way. Now I know a good way to search for books,” Stanley said.
“Just call me Helena McCoy the life hacker.”
“You’d make an interesting Xmen character.”
Helena’s jaw dropped and she stared into Stanley’s eyes. She stared for so long that he got self-conscious and adjusted the glasses [that didn’t need to be adjusted] that rested comfortably on the bridge of his nose.
“Who’s your favorite?” Helena finally asked.
“I guess it depends which era of the Xmen. I’m very intrigued by Bishop, even when they tried to make him a bad guy in a newer version of the comics. Betsy Braddock isn’t one to be trifled with. Sometimes I like Cable. I don’t know. I just love the Xmen all around.”
“Wow, so you know way more than I do. I love Rogue, and Jubilee, and Gambit, and Morph, and Mystique,” Helena said making a list from the cartoon she watched in the 90s. “I used to love drawing those characters when I was younger and wanted to be an animator.”
“And you should definitely pursue all of the artistic forms that move you. You’re an artist of many trades.”
“Very many,” Helena said with a half-smile. She grew pensive for a moment. “I wanted to focus on teaching because that way I can also learn. I wanted to explore all the different kinds of art.”
“I understand. What was it that brought you to the city?”
Helena didn’t answer. She couldn’t explain that she wanted to avoid the question. Instead she shook her head, sending her thick curls flying this way and that, and looked down at the books that she had stacked in her hands. She had chosen ‘We’ by Yevgeny Zamyatin, ‘Sula’ by Toni Morrison, and the Stephen Mitchell translation of ‘Gilgamesh’.
“I’m gonna check these out. Give me a sec.”
Helena bounced more than she walked. She was bursting with color, life, and energy and Stanley couldn’t help but wonder what it was about him that made her choose him. It could have been that she didn’t choose him at all. She probably just wanted to get away from Sandusky, Stanley thought to himself.
He wandered down one aisle, not caring which books were on those particular shelves. In his mind he wanted to find one that looked worn. It excited him to seek out a book and judge it by the smell of use over time and the dog ears on the corners of the pages rather than how interesting the cover looked.
“You’re absolutely gorgeous,” Stanley heard someone speaking a little ways away. There hadn’t been that many people in the library, so he didn’t know who was talking or who it was they were talking to. He went back to roaming down that aisle and finding books for him to read.
“Oh, thank you.”
Stanley recognized that voice. It was Helena. She giggled a bit after she spoke. Curiosity got the better of Stanley and he moved to the edge of a bookcase and peered over.
Helena had been stopped by a tall, thin man who looked like he could still be in college. He peered down at her with dark brown eyes and a smile that was full of ulterior motives. He licked his lips and gave her a look from head to foot.
“Yeah, you here with anyone?”
Helena looked down and then looked around the library. Stanley ducked behind the bookcase, not wanting to be seen. Helena “uhh’d” and “hmm’d” for several seconds before answering.
“I’m not really here with anyone, no.”
Stanley knew that he shouldn’t have felt bad, but he did. He remembered the other morning and how she had been when she was around Sandusky, and how grateful she seemed to have Stanley walk over to them and save her from a potential horrendous encounter.
Now, though it looked like she was enjoying her time with Stanley, she was acting as if he wasn’t there with her. Stanley was beginning to realize that she probably liked that she was experiencing a new place, and the person who took her there wasn’t important. He now felt it was possibly the same for the fair in the gymnasium at his school. If it wasn’t Stanley, any other teacher circling by and Helena would have told Sandusky that that teacher had invited her out. This supposed “date” wasn’t about Stanley at all.
“You wanna grab a cup of coffee or something?” the college guy asked. Stanley hadn’t yet found the heart to look back over at their conversation. His back was pressed against the books on a shelf, and he concentrated on some deep breathing. He focused all of his energy into not going into a negative place and didn’t notice when Helena was standing right next to him.
“You ok?” she asked. She still had a bright smile on her face and it was mixed with a look of concern. “You look like you blacked out there for a second.”
“I guess I was just having a bit of vertigo, but I’m fine now,” Stanley said, not wanting to sound like he was hurt or possibly upset about anything.
“As long as you’re sure,” Helena said. She put her hand on his face. She felt that checking his temperature would be enough to at least soothe him.
“Sure, sure,” Stanley said with a hint of reassurance in his voice.
“Ok great. And ooooh, you’re never going to guess what happened to me just now!”
Chapter 3
Stanley waited for Helena to speak. She was gently hitting him on his stomach with the back of her hand. It was a quick and steady rhythm.
“Wait, before I say anything, how old do I look to you?”
A few moments before Stanley was feeling cold and kind of weary of Helena’s presence, but she had such a bright personality now that he couldn’t help but let the ice forming inside him melt just a little.
“You look about 25,” he said without really looking at her. Helena’s green eyes narrowed, but she laughed it off. Stanley was 32 and admittedly had considered their potential age difference from the time he first met her in the gymnasium to that very moment when they were standing together between bookshelves amidst centuries’ worth of literature.
“Believe it or not, I’m gonna be 30 next April. I’m an Aries baby,” she said.
“Well, you definitely don’t look it. Thirty, that is. I don’t know anything about the Zodiac,” Stanley said while adjusting his glasses. They kept sliding just a bit too low on his nose, and he eventually gave up, took them off, and wiped between the lenses with his dark grey sweater.
“Really? What month were you born?”
“October. I’ll be 32,” Stanley replied putting his glasses back on.
“Early or late?” Helena cocked an eyebrow and hugged the plastic bag that contained the library books up against her chest.
“Late. The 29th.”
“Oh. Classic Scorpio,” Helena said with a slow shake of her head.
“I don’t even know what that means,
” Stanley admitted. He didn’t mean to sound so snappy. He just couldn’t get over the fact that Helena had just been flirting with someone else, and was now making nice with him. He certainly didn’t own her, but he felt there was a common courtesy when being out with someone.
“It means you like to challenge the other signs because you feel you’re right all the time.”
Helena rocked back and forth from the balls of her feet to close to her heels.
“Oh right,” she said snapping back into the conversation. “I’m supposed to be telling you something.”
Stanley nodded once and waited for her to begin.
“You know why I was asking you how old I looked?”
Stanley simply responded with head gestures. He wasn’t the type to interrupt. This time he shook his head.
“There was this kid in here earlier; actually, I don’t know if he’s still in here,” Helena lowered her voice and looked around the library. “Anyway, he was like 19 and he thought I was in college too. He kept saying how beautiful I was and asked me for my number.”
Stanley nodded once again and let out a low “hmm”.
“Isn’t that wild? I was flattered, but of course I told him no. That’s just wild.”
“Right,” Stanley finally spoke, “wild.”
He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but that gave him just a bit of relief.
Stanley didn’t check out any library books, but they walked around the aisles together talking about their favorite things to read. Stanley felt more relaxed. Helena didn’t give him the opportunity to be shy. She asked questions and spoke at great length, ensuring whatever she was talking about was inclusive or at the very least gave him room to ask questions to keep the conversation going.
She was hopeless when it came to science, but it worked because Stanley was hopeless when it came to art. They liked each other’s company so much that they roamed around the city together. Stanley took her to his favorite coffee shop, which was new and just opened around the corner from the shop he had got her Stargazer in. Helena was still holding onto it, almost protectively. It almost felt like it had become a part of her with the way that it matched the pink in her hair. When she held it up against her face to smell it, it made her light green eyes appear almost aqua.
