Barely Breathing

by Ancelli

  “His name is Terrell Williams (aka Cash).” She told him his age, where he was born, and where his family had come from, what little she knew about that.

  He wrote down everything she said. “I always keep my promises.”

  “Thank you John… I’ll see you Saturday.” She hung up, and he smiled.

  He’d called her every day since the accident, just to make sure she was all right, and he had to admit, he enjoyed hearing her friendly voice. She seemed to be the only one who’d make him laugh in months. She was crazy, but in the good way, and he needed that at the moment.

  His son came into his room with his blanket, climbed on his bed, and snuggled with him.

  “We’re going to Adventure Lane on Saturday.”

  He yelled, “Yes!” and kissed his father on the nose. “I love you, Daddy!”

  He tickled him. “I love you more.”

  Chapter Seven

  His secretary buzzed in. “John, Mr. Jerome King is here to see you.”

  “Send him in.” He stood as Jerome entered his office, as always, looking sharp in his custom-made suit. He was an African American detective, usually working undercover. John had met him and his lovely wife Becky five years ago, when they’d worked together on a case, and had since become friends.

  He took long strides and they gave each other a hug.

  “Man, it’s been a long time,” John said, shaking his hand.

  “Yes, it has.”

  John moved behind his desk. “How are the girls doing?”

  Jerome, the proud father of three, sat in the chair in front of the desk. “My ladies are driving me crazy. They all have extra activities. Tammy is in ballet, Jasmine’s in gymnastics, and your goddaughter Rebecca, she’s in her terrible twos.”

  He chuckled. “I saw Becky at the courthouse the other day. She told me the good news.”

  “I don’t know if it’s good news, but I hope it’s a boy.” He laughed.

  “I hope it’s a boy for your sake. I know how it is living in a house full of girls.” He chuckled. “I have four sisters.”

  “What about you? When are you having another kid?”

  John cleared his throat. “I think I’m done.”

  “You’re kidding. Does Amy agree with you?”

  “I don’t think she wanted the one she has.”

  Jerome looked at him, clearly surprised by his response.

  “I’m getting a divorce.”

  “I heard something like that, but I thought it was just a rumor.”

  “It’s not.” He leaned back.

  “Well, don’t let shit like a divorce keep you from being happy.” Jerome said. “I know it hurts now, but soon it will be a memory.”

  “You talk like you’ve been through it.”

  “I thought you knew I was married before Jenny.”

  “No, I had no idea.”

  “I was married, but we wanted different things in life. I honestly think we got married too young, but I thank God every day for allowing me to meet Jenny. Jenny is my world, so you see, the second time may be the one.”

  John laughed. “Dude, I don’t see myself ever getting married again.”

  “That’s the same way I felt until I ran into Jenny at the police station. It was the way she carried herself. I was never into white women until that day. No one can love me the way she does. We have three girls and one on the way and I couldn’t be happier.”

  John entwined his hands and leaned forward. “Did her family give you grief?”

  “At first her dad did—not because I was black—but because I was a man, period. He thought no one was good enough for his little girl. He came to accept me, slowly. My family was a different story. They gave her hell and still do, but my wife comes first.”

  For some odd reason, Sophia came to his mind.

  “We were having problems long before she disappeared and I did see a divorce in our future, but I never thought she would abandon her son.”

  “She trusted you with him.”

  “It’s hard being a single parent, but I’m taking it day by day.”

  “You’ll be fine, trust me.” Jerome sat up. “But down to business. You summoned me here for a reason.”

  “Remember that favor you owe me? I’m cashing it in.” John moved forward along his desk.

  Jerome smiled. “What is it?”

  “I need you to find everything you can on Terrell Williams (aka Cash) and Ashley Delgado.” John told him everything he knew about both of them.

  He stared at him. “Is this for a case?”

  “It’s personal.”

  Chapter Eight

  “Johnny!” Sophia said excitedly as she strolled up to John and his little boy.

  Johnny released his dad’s hand and ran up to her. “Ms. Sophie!”

  “Hi, Mr. John.” Cara gave him the prettiest smile.

  “Hi,” he said, grabbing her little hand.

  Sophia picked Johnny up and spun him around, making him giggle. “You’re getting so big.” She kissed his cheeks. She looked at John. “I’m happy you could make it.”

  He smiled. “You didn’t give me a choice.”

  She clutched Johnny’s hand and they entered Adventure Land. At first they got stares from a couple sitting toward the front, but John stared back for a second, and then smiled and winked at Sophia. He held her hand in his and pulled it to his lips, and gave her a kiss, until the others stopped watching.

  Sophia rapidly released her hand.

  “Mommy, let’s play the dancing game.” Cara pulled her to the machine.

  They both got on the pedestal and she put the coins into the slot and started.

  John watched them dance to the music, following the steps on the machine. They were having fun, playing and enjoying themselves. He caught himself looking at Sophia’s ass once in a while. “Daddy! I want to dance, too,” Johnny said, jumping up.

  “Maybe you can dance with Ms. Sophia?” He looked at her.

  The game ended. “Mommy, I won!”

  “Yes you did. Now play with Johnny.” Sophia got off, picked him up, and put him on the machine. She put a coin in, and it began.

  She stood next to John. “You’re afraid I’ll beat you?” she asked, out of breath.

  He turned and watched her. “I just enjoy watching you and the kids have fun.”

  “You need to learn to have fun, too.”

  “I know how to have fun, but my life…”

  “You can’t let anyone take away your joy. I understand that you’re going through a rough time lately, but I know you’ll survive. Sometimes you have to let go and have fun. Look at your son. Do you see the smile on his face?”

  He observed his son laughing, not knowing what he was doing.

  “He’s happy, not only because he’s here, but because you’re with him. Don’t let your problem become his. He is just an innocent child.”

  Johnny’s smile got wider every time he looked over and saw his dad. “You’re right.”

  “Of course I’m right.” She chuckled. “Look at me, I’ve been hurt and sad, running for years, but I can’t let my life totally ruin hers.” She sighed. “I’ve tried to give her a normal life, where she can’t see my suffering.”

  “Your suffering?”

  “I want what everybody wants.” She kept her eyes focused firmly on the kids.

  “What’s that?”

  “A family. I mean Cara is my family, but I also want love. I want to settle down and not have to look over my shoulder.”

  “I’m trying to make that happen.”

  She smiled at him. “That’s enough of that. Let’s have some fun.”

  She grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the basketball game. She inserted coins in the slot and began throwing the balls, making all the shots—until he spoke and she missed one.

  “Damn, girl, you have a good arm.”

  “I love to play basketball. I hit the hoops every time I go to the gym,” she said, never breaking eye c
ontact with the rim. “Your turn.”

  John picked up the ball and started hitting them too, but missed two shots.

  “I beat you.” She pumped her hands in the air.

  “I didn’t know we were competing.” He inserted a coin and grabbed the first ball, hitting every basket, and then he turned to her. “I won.” He bent down in her face, and laughed. “Ha. I’m a very competitive man.”

  She smiled, and grabbed his shirt with her fist. “Good to know, because this is not over yet.”

  He just stared at her lips.

  The kids came running toward them. “Mommy, can I have more coins?”

  John gave them all the coins he had left. “Here. Have fun.”

  “Thank you, Mr. John.” She grabbed Johnny’s hand and they went to play the games.

  They sat in the booth watching the kids enjoy themselves. He turned to face Sophia. “Thank you for this. He really needed this.”

  “You’re so very welcome. I think you needed this, too.” She watched him, and could tell something was on his mind. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m thinking of getting a paternity test.” He watched his son ride the carousel.

  “Why?” Sophia asked, arching a brow.

  “I just want to know.”

  “John, you love him regardless of the results. He is your son.” She grasped his hand. “Will the result affect the way you feel about him?”

  “No, but…” He gave her his full attention.

  “There’s no buts. Okay, let’s say you get the results, and it says you’re not his father. Will you turn your back on him?” He didn’t answer. “No, you wouldn’t. Of course, it’s up to you, but I wouldn’t.”

  He squeezed her hand. “You’re right. I don’t need a test to tell me he is my son.”

  She smiled. “He loves you no matter what.” They both watched the kids playing.

  “Can we do this next week?” he asked.

  Her lips curled up at the corners. “Sure.”

  Chapter Nine

  “John…” someone yelled, as he was about to walk in to the movie theater with Sophia, Johnny, and Cara.

  When they turned around, it was a tall African American man, a white, full-figured woman, and three little girls. The woman looked pregnant.

  “Uncle John!” One of the little girls ran toward him.

  He bent down, hugged her, and picked her up. “Hello, sweetie,” he said, kissing her cheeks. “Sophia, this is my goddaughter, Rebecca.”

  Johnny saw them and ran toward the oldest girls to say hi.

  “Hi, John,” said Jenny King, eyeing Sophia.

  He leaned in and kissed her cheek, then shook Jerome’s hand. He turned to Sophia and made introductions.

  “Hi,” Sophia said shyly, shaking Jerome’s hand. She extended her hand to shake Jenny’s, but she just glanced at Sophia’s hand. Jerome nudged his wife, but she still didn’t budge. With his eyes, Jerome shot daggers at his wife.

  Sophia could feel her face burning with embarrassment, but she pulled back her hand and kept her head held high.

  Jenny stared at John. “Where’s Amy?”

  “It was nice meeting you guys. If you’ll excuse us.” Sophia turned to John. “We’re going to get popcorn.” She grabbed Cara’s hand and walked away.

  John kissed his goddaughter one more time before he placed her down on the floor in front of a glowing video game, and gently pushed his son toward it. As soon as the youngest children were occupied, he glared at the woman opposite him. “Jenny, that was disrespectful.”

  “Yes, it was,” Jerome seconded.

  “How should I behave when I see you with a woman that’s not your wife?”

  “It’s none of your business,” Jerome said.

  “Your husband is right. It’s none of your business.” He made sure Johnny wasn’t listening. “But if you must know, Amy left me months ago, and Sophia’s a friend.”

  Her face turned soft. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

  “That still didn’t give you the right to treat her like you did.” John shook Jerome’s hand. “See you girls. Johnny, come on.” He took Johnny’s hand in his and walked toward Sophia and Cara.

  Sophia and her daughter held popcorn and drinks. He grabbed the items from her little girl’s hands. “Sorry about that.”

  “It’s all right. I can tell she’s friends with Amy, and thought the wrong thing about us.” She strolled into the theater with him following her.

  They sat next to each other. “She’s really nice.”

  “I bet she is,” Sophia said, handing the kids their treats.

  “Thank you, Ms. Sophie,” Johnny said.

  “Thanks, Mommy,” Cara piped up.

  “You guys are so welcome.”

  “Thank you,” John said, making her arch her eyebrow.

  “For what?”

  “For helping me cope with being a single dad. It was tough at the beginning.” He fluffed his son’s shaggy hair.

  “You’re a great dad.”

  “Yes, Daddy, you’re the bestest daddy,” Johnny said, reaching for his hand.

  Sophia smiled. “You see?”

  He took her hand in his, lifted it to his lips and kissed it, then placed it back down.

  She smiled, and they all focused on the movie as it started.

  Chapter Ten

  Jason and a few other lawyers had just left the bar where they’d celebrated a big win for the firm. John decided to stay back and wallow in his sorrows.

  He was taking a sip of his Hennessey and Coke, when Tabitha Newman, one of the juniors at the firm, sat next to him. She placed her manicured hands on his thighs and began to rub his leg in a circular motion.

  He cleared his throat, watching her hands. “I thought you left with the others.”

  “I thought you needed company.” She smiled, showing her perfect teeth. Tabitha was an attractive woman. Her blue eyes and seeking hands told him what she wanted, especially as they began to move higher.

  John was getting aroused. He grabbed her hand before it made its way home. “Tabitha, you’re a beautiful woman, but you don’t want this.”

  “Yes, I do. I’ve wanted you for a while now, but I respected that you were married.” She moved a strand of blond hair out of her face. “But that’s over now.”

  He just stared at her thin, pink lips and thought, why not? I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and live life. Sophia said I should have fun, and live in the now.

  He released her hand and she placed it back on his thigh, but this time reaching his dick. “No strings attached, just sex.”

  It had been four months since he’d had sex, and that really didn’t count. Parts of his night with Sophia were still cloudy.

  He observed her. “Are you sure? Because I can’t give you anything else.”

  She stood. “I’m sure.”

  He stood too, pulled out a couple of bills, and paid his tab. Tabitha took his hand in hers, and they left the bar together.

  ***

  As soon as Tabitha closed the door to her apartment, she jumped into his arms. She hungrily devoured his mouth with her tongue, exploring his.

  John gently stepped back, wiping his mouth. He was thrown by her forwardness.

  “I thought you wanted this.”

  “I do.” But he was too wasted to be making any decisions.

  She stepped forward to unzip him. Then she put her hand in his pants, and her eyes got big with surprise. “Are you sure your dad isn’t black?”

  John was amused and chuckled. “Don’t believe the myth.”

  She began to stroke his dick, making him more aroused. He closed his eyes, enjoying the way she stroked him up and down, and for the first time in months someone other than Amy was on his mind, Sophia. He gently grabbed her hand and pulled it out of his pants.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Tabitha, I can’t do this. I can’t use you like this.”

  “Yes, you can. We’ll be using each other.�
�� She touched his chest. “You need someone to fuck, and I want to be that someone.”

  “I can’t.” He scratched his head.

  She glanced down at his crotch. “That’s not what he is saying.”

  “He has a mind of his own, but I’ve learned to control it.” He sighed, zipping up his pants. “I want you, but…”

  “But what?” She placed one hand on her hip. “John, I’ve heard stories about you from before you got married.”

  “I didn’t like who I was back then. I’ve changed.” He fixed his shirt. “We’ve been drinking, and I won’t take advantage of you.”

  “I only had one drink. That’s why I drove us here.” She arched her eyebrow. “What’s really going on?”

  “I’m sorry I led you on.”

  She pointed at his erection. “John, I know you want me. Your body can’t lie.”

  She stared at him with a predatory glance, like an animal observing its prey. He needed to come up with an excuse so he could leave.

  “I don’t have a condom.” He gave her a shy smile.

  “Hold on.” She turned, going into what he assumed was her bedroom. She returned with a box in her hand. “I have plenty.”

  Damn.

  “I’m going to get into something more comfortable.” She left the room.

  John pulled out his cell, called a cab, and slipped quietly out of her apartment.

  ***

  John hoped Tabitha would forgive him for leaving without saying goodbye. He got out of the taxicab and stumbled up the stairs, taking them one slow step at a time. He leaned against the door and rang the bell. He could hear footsteps on the other side, and he stepped back.

  Sophia swung the door open and studied him. “John… what are you doing here?”

  He smiled, hoping she wouldn’t be mad at him for stopping by so late. She had a black silk scarf tied around her head and short PJs that showed off her toned legs.

  “Hi Sophia.” he leaned against the doorframe.

  She watched him suspiciously. “You’re drunk.” She stepped aside. “Come in.”