DIESEL DADDY

by Naomi West

  “This ain’t something we want to just walk into,” I said, standing in front of the men.

  “But we wiped the fuckin’ floor with the Bandits!” said Swift, one of the younger men of the crew.

  He was referring to the last crew we’d tussled with. Sure, he was right—we had taken out a couple of their men with no losses on our side and pushed them out of the state, but Dakin’s crew wasn’t an upstart crew of men too big for their fuckin’ britches. These guys hadn’t seen the kind of heat that Dakin’s crew had access too. It’s easy to talk big in the safety of one of our haunts; it’s a whole other thing to do it when some coked-up psycho’s firing a grenade launcher at you.

  As much as I still wanted to take Cruiser apart piece by piece for doing me dirty, he was right—a war with Dakin would possibly wipe us off the goddamn map.

  “Dakin’s crew ain’t one to fuck with,” said Oslo. “We scrap with them and we just might get taken out. And I don’t mean one or two of us—I mean the whole goddamn crew.”

  I nodded, letting the men know that I agreed with Oslo. He was one of the few cool heads in this place, and I’d been sizing him up as my new VP. Just had to give him a chance to see what he’d be like in the field when the chips were down.

  “What’d Dakin say, exactly?” I asked Oslo.

  “Just where to meet him, and that you better come with one other man and the girl.”

  “What the fuck’s so special about this girl?” asked Bowie. “Why Dakin want war over some piece of ass?”

  My heart felt hot again, and I wasn’t sure why. There was no way to explain all this shit to the men.

  “Who the fuck knows,” I said. “Dakin’s got a hard-on for her, but if I just throw in this girl with the rest of deal he’ll know that he can just walk all over us whenever the fuck he wants. Not gonna let that happen.”

  That answer seemed to satisfy the men. They didn’t need to know that there was more to it than that.

  “Oslo, you come with me to meet with Dakin,” I said, turning my eyes to the rest of the men. “Rest of you, hold tight until you get new marching orders. Shit might just go sideways real fast, and if you don’t hear from me this time tomorrow, assume that war’s on.”

  The men nodded, some with grim faces, others with eager expressions. I gestured to Oslo, and he formed up at my side. We got on our bikes and a half hour later, we were back at that same house where I’d met Dakin, that strange house in the middle of nowhere. His crew was there, though there wasn’t quite the crowd that there’d been when that party was raging.

  “There’s the man I’ve been waiting to see,” said Dakin, waiting for us out front. “But no girl? Really fuckin’ interested to hear why that’s not the case …”

  Oslo and I shared a look as he hopped off their bikes.

  Here goes nothing … I thought to myself, doubt creeping in.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Star

  I gotta be fucking crazy, I thought to myself as I stepped out of the truck that was dropping me off at the small town near Tank’s place, the same town that I’d just left not a few hours ago.

  There was just no other reason for why I was doing what I was doing. I’d finally pulled off my escape, the thing I’d been planning ever since I’d been purchased at that damned auction. I was home free. But here I was, getting ready to head back to the place I’d just made a break from, back to the man who owned me like property.

  I had to be nuts.

  Crazy or not, however, I was soon back on the road to Tank’s. I didn’t care about being spotted this time, so I stayed near the road. It was dark out, and fumbling my way through the woods with only the light of the moon wasn’t exactly something that I felt up to doing. Every now and then a car would pass, the bright lights from its headlights overcoming my senses and disorienting me for a moment. As much as I hated to admit it, what I really wanted was to hear the growl of Tank’s motorcycle, followed by the grind of his tires into the gravel on the side of the road where I walked. I wanted him to look me up and down, hand me a helmet, and tell me to get on. Where we’d go was up to him. But I didn’t care, just as long as we were together.

  What the hell was wrong with me? Was this really what Grandma would’ve wanted?

  Then again, he did seem to give a damn about keeping me safe. Maybe a man like him was just what I needed.

  My mind went back and forth, but my path stayed the same. Soon, I could see the glow of Tank’s estate on the horizon, followed by the huge shape of the home. And as I drew closer, I could hear some kind of commotion.

  Was there some kind of party going on?

  I made my way closer, the lines of the fence surrounding the property now visible. Sure enough, I could see the outline of several men in front of the place. I figured that Tank was having some kind of meeting with the rest of his club.

  The gate was opened and, taking a deep breath, I walked through. Fear and anxiety had been building to a slow boil as I made my way to the house, and now that I was on the property, I was nearly overcome with them. What if Tank didn’t want to have anything to do with me? What if I’d betrayed the small amount of trust he’d shown me, and he’d figured that was it?

  What if he didn’t believe me when I said that I was starting to develop feelings for him?

  But all of these questions were pushed to the side when I drew closer to the house and was able to make out a familiar figure standing on the stairs leading to Tank’s front doors.

  It was Dakin.

  I froze in place when I laid eyes on him. For a moment, I thought there was a chance that he didn’t see me, that maybe I’d be able to get out of there. My flight-or-fight instinct kicked in, and I felt blood begin to pump through my limbs. My vision went a little blurry, and everything seemed to happen through some sort of strange filter.

  “Hold a fuckin’ second!” called out Dakin.

  Looked like I wasn’t going to be as lucky as I thought.

  “Who’s that at the gate? Someone shine a goddamn light over there!”

  A ‘thunk’ sounded out, followed by an impossibly bright light shining down from the direction of the house. I held up my arm, blocking the light. Looking around at the ground around me, I saw that I was standing in the circular shape of a spotlight.

  So much for sneaking out of here.

  “It’s her!” shouted Dakin. “Grab her!”

  Before I could react, a pair of men rushed to my side and grabbed me by the arms. I struggled against their grasp, but it did me no good—they were just too strong. The men brought me up to the stairs, where Dakin stood looking down at me, a wild expression on his face and his hands on his hips. All around me were the members of Dakin’s crew, two dozen men, if not more. And I was the center of attention.

  “Well, well, well,” he said. “If it isn’t the fuckin’ girl of the hour.”

  I gathered my courage and spoke.

  “What’re you doing here?” I demanded.

  Dakin’s eyebrows raised at this.

  “Well, looks like girly’s got some spine to her!” he said.

  He trotted down from the stairs and approached me, stopping when he was only a few feet away.

  “Still just as sexy as I remember,” he said, making a slow, lazy circle around me as he looked me up and down.

  “Still think she’s worth half a mil?” asked one of the men holding me.

  “You kiddin’?” asked Dakin. “Piece of ass like this is worth at least that. Especially now that we got some more money to throw around, right, boys?”

  The men talked among themselves in lively tones.

  “What good’s money if you ain’t got pussy to spend it on?” asked Dakin, raising his voice for the crowd.

  The sounds from the men made it pretty damn clear that they agreed. I wanted to crawl out of my damn skin.

  “We thought you flew the coop, little birdie!” he said, his eyes now on my dove pendant.

  I didn’t say a word. I kept my mouth
shut, figuring there wasn’t a thing I could say that would improve my position.

  “All right, where the fuck’s the lord of this goddamn castle?” asked Dakin, shouting towards the house. “T-aaank! Where aaare you?”

  Tank … I thought. What’s he going to say when he sees me here?

  Before I could ponder the issue for too long, the doors to the house creaked open, revealing the familiar, muscular shape of Tank. He stepped out onto the top of the stairs, his eyes on me, another member of his crew at his side.

  “Look who just showed up!” said Dakin, trotting up the stairs.

  Tank got close enough to look at me, and I felt small underneath his eyes.

  “She just came back?” asked Tank.

  “Yup,” responded Dakin. “Your little bargaining chip just waltzed back onto the lawn. And you said she was gone for good! Shows what you know, friend.”

  He gave Tank a hard slap on the shoulder, which Tank clearly didn’t appreciate.

  Bargaining chip? I wondered. Was Tank just using me as a something to strike deal with? Was he just going to pass me along to Dakin like I was nothing more than a goddamn bag of money?

  My heart sank. Here I’d been stupid enough to think that Tank might’ve actually … cared about me, and all I’d meant to him was something he could score cash with—after he’d had his fun with me, of course. At that moment I regretted coming back to the house more than I’d ever regretted anything in my life. Tears began to form in my eyes, and whatever fight I had went right out of me.

  And on top of everything, he was dealing with Dakin—the man who’d taken everything away from me.

  “OK!” said Dakin, his eager demeanor a sharp contrast to Tank’s brooding. “Here’s what I’m thinkin’. You brought me over here to prove to me that your little live-in fuckmaid was gone. And I was all ready to believe you. Hell, I still do. I mean, why the hell would she come back if this was some caper you were pullin’? Anyway, this is what I’ve got in mind: you give me this little piece of ass, and we can continue the deal as we’d planned. Good price on the guns and everything. Or … you can keep her all to yourself. In that case, deal’s off, and my boys and the Warhawks’ll have a little scrap. War or your girl—choice is yours, my man. Same deal as before, really.”

  Same deal as before. I wanted to puke. I couldn’t believe that all this time, while I’d been letting myself fall for Tank he’d been plotting this … shit behind my back, getting a good price for me so he could get some more guns to sell to criminals. I’d been a goddamn fool, and I had no one but myself and my stupid heart to blame.

  And Tank stood up there just as impassive as ever. Nothing could be detected on his face—no shame, no anger, no nothing.

  “So, big man?” asked Dakin. “What’s it gonna be?”

  I’d had enough. I wasn’t going to stand around like this and let my fate slip out of my hands yet again. It was time for me to make some kind of decision.

  “I volunteer!” I said, stepping forward.

  The attention of all the men was now on me.

  “You what?” asked Dakin, trotting down the steps again.

  “I volunteer to go with you. I know I don’t have much say, but I’ll be damned if I go back with … him,” I said, pointing my finger at Tank, my words dripping with venom.

  “Well, well, well,” said Dakin. “Looks like girly’s got some spunk in her after all!”

  Tank opened his mouth to speak but closed it. It looked to me like he was going to say something, but thought better of it. Good call, if you asked me.

  “Well then,” said Dakin, turning back to Tank. “I’m gonna take your silence as agreement to her terms. Best for you two anyway—looks like things might’ve been a little rocky on the home front if you wanted this fine young lady to stick around.”

  Dakin turned to his men.

  “All right, boys!” he said, pointing to the bikes. “Let’s get what we came for and get the hell out of here!”

  The men eagerly talked amongst themselves again, all of them making their way towards their bikes. I stood still for a moment, not sure of what to do. Tank watched the whole thing from the top of the stairs, but I didn’t want to so much as see him looking at me.

  But still, if I were being honest with myself, what I felt in that moment wasn’t the anger I was entitled to—it was sadness. Sadness and heartbreak. As stupid as it sounds, I had been hoping that there was something happening between Tank and me—something real. But it had just been a stupid fantasy. I was nothing more than a fucktoy for him, and now that he was bored with me, he’d kicked me over to whoever was willing to pay the highest price. Just my luck it was the man who’d stolen my home from me.

  Before I could wonder just where I was going, Dakin grabbed me by the arm. He stared at me with his beady little eyes, the smell of whiskey, cigarettes, and a whiff of BO invading my nostrils.

  “You’re comin’ with me, little lady,” he said, leading me to the mess of pipes and chrome that was his enormous bike. “Don’t worry, though—I’m a safe driver.”

  He climbed onto his bike and I followed suit, feeling disgusted as I wrapped my arms around him. He gunned the engine and soon we were off. And as we left, I couldn’t help but look back at me, watching Tank grow smaller in the distance as I was rushed towards my uncertain fate.

  Chapter Twenty

  Tank

  I stood on the top of the stairs for a while, staring out onto the vast stretch of my front lawn, the brown crisscrossing of Dakin’s gang’s tire tracks carved into the grass the only sign that they’d been there. Well, that and the faint traces of engine exhaust that hung in the air.

  I was goddamn furious; furious that Dakin would make such demands of me in my home. I was furious that he’d gotten the upper hand. But more than being furious, I felt something else. Something like a sharp stabbing in heart, like someone was working a sliver of glass through it. I felt short of breath, like I was needed to sit down.

  “You cool, boss?” asked Oslo.

  “Fine,” I said, the word coming out in a gruff bark. “Just need to …”

  I stumbled over to the step closest to me and took a seat. It was hard for me to put into words what I was feeling, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was about Star. First, she’d left. Then she’d learned that Dakin had wanted to use her as a bargaining chip. Then she’d left, the wrong impression etched into her mind. She didn’t realize that I’d had no intention of selling her out to Dakin like that, but when she’d come back at the time she did, that was just how it looked, like I was saying to Dakin, “Look, she’s not here, so I can’t trade her for guns.”

  No wonder she was pissed off. I could hardly blame her for wanting to get the fuck out of here as fast as possible. Dakin was a real piece of shit, but it sounded like she’d already had experience with him. Devil you know, I suppose.

  “You all right, Tank?” asked Oslo.

  I wanted to mull around in my thoughts for a while, but I didn’t have time for a luxury like that. I needed to figure out a plan, and fast. I stood up and turned to Oslo.

  “We can’t let this stand,” I said. “We let this pass without retribution then Dakin’s gonna think that all he’ll need to get what he wants is to pull up onto my front lawn and demand it. Maybe killing one of our own again in the process.”

  “Bulldog’s dead, and Dakin’s the man who did it. Now he thinks he can just grab us by the balls whenever he wants a deal.”

  I was liking Oslo more and more—he didn’t need to have shit explained to him.

  “That’s right,” I said. “Call the boys over. Emergency fuckin’ meeting.”

  Oslo nodded and went off inside the house, leaving me by myself. Which is what I wanted.

  During the time it took the men to arrive, I wondered just what I wanted. I wanted to crush Dakin’s head like a goddamn melon, that’s for fuckin’ sure. But what about Star? Just what did I want with that girl? I was beginning to rea
lize that the arrangement that we’d started out with—her being an expensive piece of property—just wasn’t going to cut it. So what did I want? A housewife? A fucking girlfriend?

  I shuddered as these words entered my thoughts. I’d never, never, and I mean never, imagined myself to be the kind of guy who had a lady waiting for him at home. I was happy with my boys and my bike, and if I needed some ass every now and then, that was always in supply. But now, as I thought of Star, I wondered just what it would be like to have a woman like her, a woman who’d make me dinner, a woman I could take out for a night on the town, a woman I could slap on the ass and she’d giggle and tell me to cut it out, a woman I could make love to …