Shifters and Spice: A Shifter Romance Box Set

by Desiree Holt

  “Mama, you saw that? He's a big wolf. I wanna be a big wolf like him when I get big. I have to eat all my steak, huh?”

  Looking in the mirror again at my son, in awe of the male who had just left our presence, I knew that I had to take whatever Davis dished out for my son’s sake. He needed these males’ example and influence in his life. He needed males to look up to.

  We belonged here and fate had brought me back.

  “Yes, buddy. You have to eat your veggies too.”

  He scrunched up his nose at that.

  Now to convince my brother that I belonged back at home and my son did too.

  * * *

  I crossed through the open gate and was directed to a new Alpha house than the one my father had grown up in and Davis and I had grown up in too. Instead, the cedar mansion I parked in front of was like a mini-plantation house.

  I guessed it wasn’t the only thing that had changed over the years.

  “Hold me, Mama. I wanna see the big house.” Elijah wriggled in his car seat, demanding my attention.

  There were four males on the porch waiting for us—all arms crossed, commanding submission. Davis and my father were two of them. Casten and someone else I didn't recognize were the others. Casten was the only one who looked indifferent—the rest looked at me as though I was the enemy crossing onto their grounds.

  None of them were holding out their arms in welcome like they had in my daydreams.

  I shouldn’t be surprised at this point.

  “I'm coming, Eli. Hold on.” I got out and Elijah finagled out of his seatbelt. I picked him up, putting his weight on my hip for balance. His fists clung to my shirt and, as his mother wolf, his nervous energy was so palpable that it tingled on my tongue. “Don't be scared, sweet man. No one will hurt you. They are going to love you—I promise. And if they don’t, we will find somewhere else to go.”

  I approached the porch and before my feet could step onto the steps, my father interjected. “Lilith, it’s been a long time.”

  Other than a few more gray hairs than I’d remembered, he hadn’t changed a bit. His eyes still looked at me with love though his words were sometimes venomous.

  “It has, Father.” He liked to be called Father. Daddy or Dad wouldn’t be heard in his household.

  He looked to my right, at Eli. “This must be the child. What’s his name?”

  Nervousness seized my lips and they faltered with Elijah’s name on them. Fortunately, my son was as smart as they came.

  “My name is Elijah.” He broke up the syllables in case my father was daft which almost made me laugh if the situation didn’t teeter on the edge of disaster.

  My Dad almost smiled—almost. “Hello, Elijah, you may call me Grandfather.”

  Thank God my son didn’t miss a beat. “Benji calls his grandfather Papa.” One of his little eyebrows popped up, defending him.

  “Well you’re not Benji, are you? And I bet Benji isn’t a wolf.”

  “Mama says I’m a big wolf.”

  That made my father laugh out loud. The sounds almost brought me to tears. “You want to show me? I think your mama needs to talk to these other males for a second. I’ll bring you to meet your grandmother. She can’t wait to meet you.”

  Elijah turned his blues on me and gauged my face for an answer. “It’s fine. You can go with him. You’re safe to turn into a wolf anytime you want to here.”

  A gasp. “Anytime?” He questioned me but looked at each male one by one.

  I replied, “Anytime.”

  He clutched onto me for a few more minutes and then kicked his legs for me to let him down. My eyes followed him, holding the hand of my father until both of them were out of sight. It wasn’t the ideal situation, but my father and mother would never mistreat my son—no matter how he came into this world.

  “He looks like Angus.” Davis finally spoke up with no sense of care in his voice.

  The seething anger could be seen all over my brother’s face as he said the name of the male who ruined what was once a very close relationship between me and my brother.

  I nodded. “Just his eyes, I think. The rest I’m hoping is a little like me.”

  Davis cleared his throat. “He’s a lot like you. Shall we proceed? Come to my office.”

  They allowed me to go in front of them, probably so I wouldn’t run for my life. The house, inside, seemed more massive than on the outside. Everything was stark and cold—just like my brother kept his room as a child. He shirked all toys at the age of five and kept his room cleaner than a sergeant.

  “You don’t have a mate yet?” I regretted the question as soon as it exited my mouth. There was no scent of female in the house and certainly no female touches throughout the stale furnishings.

  He chuckled, but there was no laughter in the staccato sound. “No. I have too many responsibilities. Mother and Father are looking for a suitable choice for me.”

  That sounded about right.

  No feeling—no care.

  What I really wanted to say to my brother in that moment with all of his staunch demeanor was that suitable should be a word that characterized a pair of shoes or a suit, not a mate. A wolf’s mate should be the other half of their soul—the centering of their being.

  “Have a seat, Lilith.” Davis said, sitting behind his overcompensating, large desk.

  I didn’t dare look at Casten like I wanted to. I knew that my slightest sign of disrespect might have me on my ass.

  Davis cleared his throat and began, “You’ve been gone a while. Things have changed around here. While I know that you have served your banishment from Distance as you should’ve, there are still some things to consider if you are to be pack again.”

  I didn’t really consider being pack again. I just assumed they would allow us to live here under their protection.

  From my peripheral vision, I spotted Casten shifting his sitting position, not comfortable with this whole thing. The air in Davis’ office was stagnant with anxiety and for some reason, I thought most of it was coming from Casten’s direction.

  Rubbing my hands up and down my thighs, I shrugged. “Name your terms, Alpha. I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep my son safe.”

  He rubbed his hands together like this was all fun for him. “Why don’t you start with who you’re running from?”

  I gave myself a minute to calm before proceeding. “I witnessed a crime. I was taking the leftover food from the restaurant that I worked at to the local homeless shelter. It was around midnight. There were some people gathered in a circle near the drop-off but at first I ignored it until they started shouting. I smelled blood and realized something was happening. That’s when I saw one of them pull out a gun and shoot the rest of them. They said he’d been stabbed by one right before shooting him—that’s why I smelled blood. Now I’m the witness to the crime and the human police aren’t going to be able to help me before something happens. People have been following me. A man walks behind me when I return home from work. The pre-school said Elijah was talking to a man through the fence while he was at recess. I’m not safe out there.”

  “How long has this been going on?” He asked.

  “Almost seven months. the last straw was when Elijah said the man talking to him through the fence said that he would be back to get him.”

  From the corner of my eye, I could see Casten scrubbing a hand down his face. His energy was so strong, I could almost taste his anger in the air.

  “There will be some stipulations of you stay here, Lilith. You’d be on probation for a while—to prove to us that you are loyal to the pack and not just here for temporary refuge.”

  I almost laughed out loud—almost. I’d been the epitome of a loyal pack member for nineteen years before naively falling for a swindler from another pack. The secrecy and hidden tryst were attractive to me—someone who had followed the rules for her entire life until that point.

  And then my father found out, which was bad enough. We wolves mated fo
r life and ideally had only one partner—our true mate. I’d not only shamed myself but had practically branded myself single for the rest of my life. No one wanted a female who’d already had another male’s son.

  I bowed my head and bore my neck, which was customary for the situation. “I understand, Alpha.”

  Davis sighed and after turning around in his swivel chair, ran his finger over the sill, testing it for dust. “Casten will be in charge of you during the probation period. You will not leave the pack lands without him. You will not go anywhere outside of your backyard, even inside the pack lands without him. In fact, I’m putting you in the house right next to him. It’s a house that was built for new members and you can live there rent free until you can get a job and pay rent, which you can’t do until your probation is over.”

  Casten spoke out, but his tone verged on insincere. “Alpha, I have other duties. I can’t babysit a pack member.”

  Davis snarled at Casten’s rebuttal. I hadn’t even thought about Casten having a mate. He probably already had a mate and a family. There was no time to look after a delinquent like me.

  Maybe he didn’t have a mate and he just didn’t want to be stuck with a female who had been banished.

  Davis roared, “You will heed my commands, Beta. It is this or she’s gone—your choice.”

  My brother had turned cold again. Not that he’d warmed up all that much.

  “I understand, Alpha. Lilith, let’s get your things into the house. I’ll show you where it is.”

  The other man, I assumed a sentry, filed out, followed by Casten. I knew he didn’t care, but I had to say something. I stood and turned away from him—not even willing to look my brother in the eye. I didn’t want to see any more of his disgust. “Davis. Thank you. I know it will not happen, but Elijah could use you in his life. He’s never had an uncle. You might like him if you could move past…”

  “Go Lilith. I’m done talking. We won’t let anyone get near you or—him.”

  Him. He wouldn’t even say my son’s name.

  Casten was outside waiting for me when I got outside, still visibly shaken by my brother’s distance. “Let’s go get your things. See that yellow house out there? That’s yours. Mine’s the one next to it.”

  He was pointing to a tiny cottage-looking house next to a smaller version of Davis’ house. Elijah would be running a lot outside with the space the cottage afforded us.

  Except I was only allowed to look on from afar. I was still being punished.

  Casten cleared his throat. “We can drive your car there and unpack. Then we will discuss how this is going to work.”

  The tips of his ears were red and his jaw worked, grinding on his anger.

  I drove the short distance with Casten in the passenger seat. His shoulders alone took up most of the space and I thought he’d never get out once he’d gotten in.

  The house inside was fully furnished and stocked. Casten got the bags out of the car and set them all in the living room and then shut the door behind him and closed the blinds one by one like he couldn’t get them closed fast enough.

  That’s when it all fell apart.

  Casten

  I’d held it together for the most part but when Lil’s shoulders fell when we entered the house, I knew it was all over for the both of us. I couldn’t take seeing her like that, especially since I thought I’d never see her again in this lifetime.

  “Hey, it’s okay. You are safe and Elijah is safe.” Crossing the few steps of space between us, I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and pulled her against my chest. I inhaled deeply, remembering the scent of her—it hadn’t changed since we were children but matured. She was no longer the smell of lavender and sunshine but now lavender mixed with night.

  Before making a move to let go, I heard the first whimper come from her. I was sure she never showed this vulnerability to anyone. She had always been so strong in her convictions—nearly perfect. I held on for a few minutes despite hearing Davis’ truck pulling up in the driveway. What the hell was he doing here already? Couldn’t he see that she needed time?

  “Davis is here,” I said, reluctantly putting some distance between us and grabbing a bag of her stuff to have a random reason for her scent to be all over me.

  I wanted it all over me, deep in my skin.

  “Oh, okay.” She wiped violently at her cheeks and eyelids.

  I grabbed another bag just for effect and glanced outside to see Elijah being pushed on a tire swing that Lil and I used to swing on as kids. Already he was attached to his grandparents and probably had no idea the turmoil his mother would have to endure to keep him here and safe.

  “Lilith,” the Alpha called out, opening the door like he owned the place instead of me. My growl was barely contained. “Lilith,” Davis said louder.

  Give her a minute, Alpha. She is in trouble, not deaf.

  “I’m here, Davis.” She snapped her mouth shut, like she was keeping herself from saying more.

  Good girl.

  “Your probation will last two weeks. I wanted it to be six weeks but our parents convinced me otherwise. You are expected to seek out your true mate and hopefully he will seal your mating even with the—boy.”

  She had to be stewing inside, I knew I was. The boy had a name and if anyone in this situation was innocent, it was him. There was no reason to take out whatever unresolved anger out on him.

  “Of course. I want that as well. I hope that he can accept both of us. And if he can’t or if I haven’t met him by then? Most of the males in this clan have already been claimed, right?”

  Davis looked around, inspecting her belongings and the house, then at me. “Most of them. In that case that you do not find your mate, your situation will have to be re-evaluated. I can’t give you a sure answer.”

  Lil swallowed hard and nodded with tears brewing in her eyes. He couldn’t be in her presence for a full minute without making her come to the brink of breaking.

  Anger swelled in my chest as I took in the scene. He was her brother—her family—her blood. That was thicker than pack—thicker than anything but the mating bond. Why couldn’t he just see his little sister broken and scared in front of him?

  I hated to say it, but couldn’t he be just a little bit more human?

  Lilith steeled herself, squaring her shoulders and calming herself with a heavy exhale. “I understand, Alpha. I will make it my goal to find my true mate as soon as possible.”

  Finding her true mate would be easy, as far as I was concerned. I was her true mate—there was no doubt in my mind and my wolf had absolutely no doubt. He loved her and craved her presence—had since we were teenagers—maybe before that.

  Davis stepped forward and I thought for a split second that he would actually act like he loved her. “We can help. I will send the eligible males over here one by one. They can go through the test.”

  Dropping both bags, I forced myself into the conversation. “Alpha, she just got here. You’re going to have each male come here, invade her privacy and have her taste their blood? Can’t we give her some time to get settled in before resorting to that? You said she has some time. Let’s give her this time.”

  It was a selfish reaction. I didn’t want any other male near her—much less sniffing around and I for sure didn’t want anything of them in her—not even a drop of blood.

  I’d overstepped my place, speaking to the Alpha in such a manner, but my mate would come before my station in this pack—even if she didn’t know she was my mate yet.

  “Casten, you forget your place, Beta.” He stilled, his gaze firmly on my face. “But I do see your point. Your two weeks’ probation will serve as your settling time as my Beta suggests and after that, you are to find a job and your mate. Are we clear?”

  He spoke to her but never shifted his glare from me. I would hear about this incident later.

  “We are clear. Thank you, Davis.” She reached for him, but quickly realized her attempt was in vain. “I’ve missed you,
brother.”

  The pure sentiment and care in her voice shattered me—but what was worse was that my Alpha showed no such shatter. Nor did he show any concern when he failed to answer her and walked out the door.

  I paused and waited for the right time to speak, but soon realized that there wasn’t one. “He will come around. The Alpha job changes people. He has to put up a strong front for the pack.”

  Lil turned on me with seething anger in her eyes, “There is no pack in this house to be strong for. He hates me and he always will. It’s fine. As long as Elijah is safe, everyone in this pack can hate me. It will all be okay if he is safe and cared for.” I didn’t think she was talking to me as much as she was talking to herself.

  “He will never know anything of your past if I have anything to do with it. Now, let’s get you unpacked and make a run to the grocery store. There’s no food here and I’m sure your pup has an appetite like all male pups.”

  Her shoulders slumped. “You have no idea. He puts you and Davis to shame. There’s no filling him up.” A smile flirted with the corners of her mouth, but it was gone as soon as it came.

  “More reason for us to get this stuff at least in the rooms they belong in. Is this all you have? There’s not much here.”

  She looked around and shrugged. “We didn’t have much. I was a waitress and a single mother. We got by and that was enough.”

  It was then that I noticed for the first time the pronounced dark crescents below her eyes and a significant weight loss. It must’ve been hard on her. She wasn’t much more than a slip of a female before becoming pregnant.

  I nodded and got back to work. In no time at all, we’d sorted everything to its proper place. There was a lacking in everything. She had two pots in total—a toaster that looked like it was from the eighties and five plates—no spoons.

  “Why don’t you go get Eli—Is it okay if I call him Eli?” She nodded and smiled politely. “Go get him and I’ll go get my truck and meet you right outside. We are going shopping.”