Beloved Sisters and Loving Friends

by Farah Jasmine Griffin

[…] New Year day mother kept a open house we had 31 calls. Among them was Mr. Lee about 2 P.M. Aunt C & Selina & I went to the church & see a marriage the bride did look beautiful her dress was white lace flower as for the bride maid I did not admired her very much there was a great many out to witness the affair. I made Selina laugh Mr. McNeil gave her his likeness so she had it in her bossom so I told her take it up to Mr. Alston and ask him to marry them he said she invited original the eve we was all very tired as for myself I was heart sick we could not we retired for there some one coming in out when there was no one there mother would take me sofa Selina & I the other Grand M the rocking chair. Aunt C[look at] the door everytime the bell rang each one would spring up as if something was after us. I do not know what the people thought as for mother she went to sleep while they was here so about 1 o’clock we all retire so the nexe day Aunt C & I took the children & went to Barnums they was delighted they never been before.

  The first winter of the Civil War was a time of economic hardship and ill health for the Jackson household. Consequently, Addie found herself with an extra-heavy workload and little money. Her discussion of the social events organized by her community—events that will raise money and collect clothing for the “contraband”—offer a glimpse of the community’s war efforts.

  Significantly, Addie mentions a committee to raise funds for an orphan asylum. By 1863, New York’s Colored Orphan Asylum had been burned down in the Civil War draft riot, when economic competition between white immigrants fearful of job competition from free blacks exploded in fits of violence in which one hundred people were killed. Addie left New York prior to the riot.

  New York Sun.[Jan.] 14, 1862

  My Dearest Friend

  I suppose you looking forward to you letter you will see that I have commence it. Sickness has prevail Aunt C is very sick the Dr tends her I have just come from upstairs giving her medicine. Father is also home sick. He his been home for two or three days the Dr. think he his getting a tumor in his breast he think his has been hurt some way. I feel very sorry although he is no relation but I feel near to him he his very kind to me and I know he love me as the same as his own and sometime he reprimand me not loving him as not being his child. I can not as I would like I stood alone in this family. He is a fine noble man he has many fine quality. He has few that his wife knows not of perhaps do not want to know them now I must a few moments to go and give A.C. her medicine she take it every hour.

  Here I’m again I have got two fulltime. Walter is crying or was with earache I have got them both quiet. For the last week its been regular hospital. I bid the headache I will not promise that I will write long as I feel somewhat tired I have been runing all day. Selina is home for a day or two now she is writing to her particular friend that remind me of something. Mr. Lee called this week. Mr. Burns- well and his friend Mr. Furnace are getting a surprise party going to have it tomorrow eve also mother and few of her friends going to get up Calico Ball for she benefit of the [?] assylum. Many of the soldiers that use to be ingage in the assylum are withdrawn some body must keep it up or try to I hope they will. Well my love I must close it getting late you must give my love to Aunt and tell her I think of her often & kiss her quit often and often wish that it was her herself […]

  New York Jan. 30, 1862

  My Dearly Beloved Rebecca

  Just eight days to day since I rec your kind interesting Epistle you must excuse me for keeping you waiting so long for a ans I have been very busy indeed Aunt Chaty has been very sick we was little worried about her you remember her room she was sick in there I attend her every hour in the day I had to give her the medicine one or two night I was a wake with her. Mother says she was not able to go up and down stairs I was completely wore out for I had to take the bulk of the work I’m almost sick I do not mean bodily sickness Mother has not any work and father business is very dull M is sometime so disagreeable there is no living with her I often wish that I never come to NY.

  […] Aunt Chaty she is much better so much so that she is down and very livly she is just left me she wish to know what is the matter with me and I only gave her was a kiss [….] I will inform of the news the first thing mother feel so deep by interested in the countraband that she propose giving a calico ball. They going to have it the [?] of Feb. There is ladies engage in it after the ball they or going to give the dresses to them and the money is left is to go towards purchasing books and slates there is a great many is going those that never attend ball are going perhaps I will go I would like to see how they will look was one night befor last Mrs. Lisa Williams was there. Her dress was white silk and white lace of over it and look up. They was young lady went that her mother was again it so she had her sister to lay her things out the day her bedroom is up stairs so she her mother good night and her mother of course thing she had retire for the night instead of that she went to dress she had a white dress double skirt and the slop one had 8 rows of velvet and the stop one was in print and every part had a velvet bow. Selina saw her said look beautiful. Rebecca I was surprise to here that she would do such a thing or to deceived her own dear mother. I could not do so if I wanted to go I would have told that I was going and went out before her every body not like you. The ladies also making arangement for a fair for the orphan assylum. They think they will have it in May. Mother also in committee she will now live in the St. She will have something to called her out daily.

  O my Darling I read a book called Women Friendship. It was a book I wish that I could send it to you for to read it dos not belong to me or even to the family the author of it is Grace Aguilar I will give you little of it.

  [Addie quotes extensively, without quotation marks, from the novel.]

  Friendship demands quality of station true affections devoid of selfisness beware dear Florence I fear this warm attachment must end in disappointment fully as I can sympathize in its present happiness was the warning address of Mrs. Leslie to animated girl who on the receipt of a note and its rapid perusal had bounded towards her mother with an exclamation of irrepressible joy. disappointment dearest mother how can that be? was the eager reply because friendship even more than love demands equality of station friends cannot be to each other what they ought to be if the rank of one party be among the noble of the land that of the other lowly as your own [….]

  Now my fond friend, I must close for the fire is about out and Selina want to go to bed so good night.

  Grace Aguilar’s Womens Friendships, published in 1850, tells the story of Lady Ida, an aristocrat, and the middle-class Florence. The friendship suffers a blow when Lady Ida marries and Florence meets with misfortune. The two reestablish their friendship when Florence learns of her noble birth. Surely Addie was reminded of the differences in class and education between herself and Rebecca. Perhaps this accounts for the change in the letters of 1862. Addie begins to write much more of what she is reading as well as of neighborhood events and the news.

  In the letter that follows, Addie also gives her reasons for wanting to marry. Neither romance nor love comes before the desire for economic and emotional security.

  Henry Highland Garnet was a famous African American minister and abolitionist.

  The Golden Legacy: A Story of Life’s Phases was written by Mrs. H. J. Moore and published in 1856.

  New York Feb. 23, 1862

  Darling my own Dear Friend

  I have again perruse you sweat and affec loving e[pistle] it seem to me it made every nerve vibrate in me I could not express the feeling. You spoke of my unexpected visit last Friday my Darling I dont that purposely I must say I was highly paid for doing so.

  […] You spoke of injoying my society any length of time all gone I dont agree with you there for if I live long enough I expect many many hour with you and alone.

  […] Loved one I want to ask you one question—that is will you not look at my marrying in a different light then you do love me my Darlin? I’m here with mother perhaps I see you about three time in a year happy more t
ime unhappy I will get my money regular for two or three week and then iregular. What would you rather see me do have one that truly love me that would give me and or give him up and remain in this home? O could live with you or even be with you parts of the day. I would never Rebecca do not feel thus perhaps it may all for the best now think it over it and tell me weather you agree with me or not now my Dearest I will bring this subject to a close [….]

  Last eve I went to a concert it was given in our church it was this first annual one it was given by SS they done well they was a little girl I dont think that she was much larger then Walter and she sing beautiful [?] My Dear the Church was full some of the people had to stand up it seems to me that our people are very neglegance attending church but when ever any thing going they manage to get out on Sunday the nexe can get out nexe week there is going to be one at Mr. Garnet church had a surprise party to his house a $100 in provision and $42 in money dont you think that doing well? Mr. G has a great many friends both white and Col [….]

  My Dear Rebecca did you ever read a book called the Golden Legacy? O that was a beautiful book I have nothing to readjust yet but I will soon find something tell Bell that the young ladies are geting up they surprise party Selina was speaking of extending invitation to her the are getting up sooner then they expect for one of the young ladies is going away her family are going to move to Phila, they feel very bad about leaving NY now my Dear I must tell you what Aunt Chat says and bring my epistle to a close. She was very glad to hear that you was well and the rest of the family she would like to see you very much as for her health its miserable she says that sometime she think that she not long for this world I cant remember the rest so you wont care will you my love give my love to your mother and the rest of the family except a sweet kiss from you Ever Dear and Devoted

  Addie

  PS my Dearest elighted they never been before my arm around you neck and lay until my soul was in heaven

  Addie

  The following reference by Addie to “coloured people time” refers to a humorous colloquialism for habitual lateness that is used to explain black people’s relationship to industrialized notions of time.

  New York Mar. 5, 1862

  My Ever Dear & Darling Friend

  I have a few moments to spare so I thought I would pen a few thoughts to the object of my affections I rec your sweet and interesting epistle this P.M. I have already perruse it contents three times I will not promise if three times be all we have been very busy to day the washing was not on Monday.

  The Undine Club had there party Mon Eve the Club consist of five young ladies Miss Buce & Parker & Bowers Duplaycy & Selina all the ladies bought something and the gentleman was taxed 50cts they had three pieces of music. I guess they was about fifty here it was a very stormy night the rain just poured down I made Selina very angre I told her I would not be home to the party I did not care about it the inmates of the house on Selina side thought I was not treating her right so keep peace I remain at home the ladies was looking destine Gay.

  […] Rebecca I have taken a sever[e] cold the doors was all open and I had on a low neck dress it seem lately I take cold very easy. My Dear my old Lover was here that eve after the company had dispuse[disperse] father was teasing me and said he was going to tell Mr. Lee about him and I my Darling can I help if the gentleman will pay me attention.

  Now my Dearest I must make an apology for Selina she intended to send a note to Bell for the party she had so much to do and not thinking they would have it so soon thought she would have plenty of time just like coloured people time [….] is Buce and her mother family going to move to Phila, nexe week the girls all feel very bad she is one of the gayest of the gay my Dear if you have told Bell about it please to Bell how she came not to receive her invitation my Darling I suppose you think that enough of that now my Love I must rest my pen for the night I have cough so much that my headache me very bad so I will bid you a sweet and gentle good night O that I could a sweet kiss and fond imbrace.

  The following letter is from Charity A. Jackson, the Aunt Chaty of Addie’s letters. It reveals an alternative description of Addie’s attraction and desire for her suitor, Mr. Lee.

  New York Mar. 1862

  Dear Rebecca

  I take this opportunity write these few lines to you hoping you are well which leave me at present give my love to your mother and father and sisters and brother I do not know them but I take the liberty of doing so Dear Rebecca I wish that you were here to see Addie she look so sad and melencahly she look as if she lost all her friends she make me feel very sad I often take you footstep and Mr. Lee to comfort her I dont know what he would do without Addie has been very sich I to take the best of care for your sake and Mr. Lee she rec two letters from Mr. Lee and I never seen anyone so overjoyed as she was I wish you had of been a witch and been at the window you say you do not know what love is Addie does I can assure I would have written to you before but I did not know weather it would be except it everytime. Addie rec you letter she said you send your love to me so I take that pleasure of writing a few lines to you no more at present I remain your affectionate friend

  Charity A Jackson

  Please to ans this when you write to my Dear Addie.

  [n.d.]

  I’m like a bad penny my time has not come yet O Rebecca its a beautiful day I would like to go to church they I had better remain home. I rec two letters from Mr Lee they both came at once he is very well he think he will remain in Key West two or three months and then they going to Mobile, He inquired very particular for your health and what do you think he wants to know what do you think of me tramp over his heart? Weather you approve of it are not. He write very nice letter he said it will not be long before he will return and make me his wife. He said that he his met with great many ladies since he is begone but none compare with his sweet Addie he says his love is stronger then ever. Dear Rebecca I never shall love any person as I do you [….]

  Dear Rebecca do not say anything about mother was angre because I was sick she expect to go to the Old Fellow Ball and she afraid she would not get her dress in time. Mother say she hardly can get along time is so hard but is alway find money when she want to go ball and party. She went out last eve brought a white dress she is going to have double skirt and loop up rises and gay to wear a black lace cape and her head to be dress[by] hairdressers. But I must tell you what Grandma said that mother was going head long to the dead while she was going she go looking right for him that was a great expression to make about a child I do not know what the world is coming to. Aunt Chat was going so she has made up her mind to remain in home with her sweet Addie so she says [….]

  I remain your Ever Dear and

  Devoted Addie

  Please to excuse this letter.

  The sentiments of the following letters are Addie’s, but the language clearly is not. Perhaps in her efforts toward self-improvement she has either had someone write them for her or copied them from one of the many books she was reading. The book Addie mentions is Practical Christianity: A Treatise Specially Designed for Young Men by John S. C. Abbott (1862).

  New York Mar. 16, 1862

  My Ever Darling Rebecca

  […] Dear Friend how perfectly still how hushed is all around but for the heavy breathing of those sunk in deep slumber there is no object in all creation accessible to human eyes half so calculated to life the soul from earth as the moon and sky at night well my Darling I suppose you think enough of escputiate [expatiate] about the moon. I am not sleepy so I thought pen a few thought while I think of it last Sunday P.M. I was reading a book called the Practical Christianity it is a beautiful book Mrs. Scott is reading it now if you have no objection I will give you little idea of it.

  “What is it to be Christian several young men were one evening sitting around the fire in a college room when the conversation turned upon the subject of religion one of the young men said perhaps with unintentional exaggeration but with sincerity ‘if I could by having
my right arm cut off be sure that I was a Christian I would submit to the operation unhesitatingly I have often tried to be a Christian but in vain I shall not try any more.’”

  My Dear dont you know there are semilar remarks are made every day there are thousands who think that they really desire to become Christians but that there is some inseperable obstacle in the way they have inward misgivings that it is no true that they wish to become reconciled to God but that he is not willing to become reconciled to them […] except a sweet kiss from your whence little friend and loving and Devoted.

  Addie

  The end of the following letter, in which Addie tells Rebecca about Aunt Chat’s ill-fitting false teeth, is one of the most amusing in the collection. Clearly the two women’s relationship allowed them to let down their hair and share a hearty laugh. One senses Addie’s great pleasure in her solitude at writing to her beloved friend. Throughout many letters such as this, one can share in the laughter her stories must have invoked in Rebecca.

  New York Mar. 30, 1862

  My Dearest Sister

  […] Think my Dearest Sister I am near the breathing the same air with your arm gently drawn around me my head reclining on your noble breast in perfect confidence and love. But alas the dream is over the charm is broken I alook to the stern realities of my position but to find myself alone of what would I not give at this moment to be with or near you my soul longs for it ask for it [….]

  Rebecca I want to tell you Aunt Chat along side of me fixing her teeth in her mouth you will say to yourself what teeth? She has a set. Those stumpet she had they all out. I dont think she look well with them for they are one sided the Dentist will have to file her gums I wish you could see her she went out yesterday to spend the P.M. the friends told her they add to her beauty. Dear Rebecca with out jokeing Aunt C think she is pretty she say every body has told her now since she had got her teeth she […] those are in the house I could not help last night as sick as I was looking in the glass for a half hour at herself I laugh at her for she look so funy now my Dear I dont think I write any more good night my loving Sister.