The Littlest Viking

by Sandi Toksvig

  ‘I have to go home,’ she announced the morning after the children had saved the garden. Joshua, who had been pretending he was leading a parade around the large gorse bush, stopped in his tracks.

  ‘You’re leaving?’ he whispered. ‘Don’t you like us any more?’

  ‘Now, now,’ said Amber. ‘Let’s not have any misunderstandings or you’ll finish up like the squire’s Bride. I didn’t say I didn’t like you any more. It’s just that, well, I miss my family and it’s time for me to sail home.’

  ‘But your boat’s all smashed up in the cave,’ said Gary, trying to be practical to cover up how sad he felt.

  Katie frowned. ‘I suppose there’s always the dragon boat.’

  Amber and the three children set off to have a look, and on the way the little Viking told them the story of the squire’s Bride.

  ‘It seems there was once an incredibly rich Squire.’

  ‘What’s a squire?’ asked Joshua.

  ‘A sort of rich country gentleman,’ explained his sister. ‘We don’t really have them any more.’

  Amber nodded. ‘This one was so rich he could have anything that he wanted – probably ate mounds of peanut butter and never worried about the heating bills. Yet there were two things he didn’t have. The first thing was good looks and the second, because of the first, was a wife. However, because he was so rich, the squire foolishly thought that anyone would be delighted to marry him.

  ‘One day, the daughter of the farmer next door came to deliver some eggs. She was very lovely and the squire decided he would marry her.

  ‘“I have decided to get married,” he announced to her as she put down her basket.

  ‘“Well, the world is full of wonders,” said the girl, trying to imagine who would marry such an ugly old man.

  ‘The squire saw she hadn’t understood: “I have decided to marry you.”

  ‘The girl looked at him. “The world is full of wonders,” she said, “but marrying me is not one of them. I will not marry you.” And she went home.

  ‘This was quite a shock to the squire. No one ever said “no” to him. He asked the girl’s father to speak to her, but she just laughed and said she would never marry the squire. The squire sent presents and flowers and still the girl laughed and said she would never marry him. The squire was beginning to get a bit desperate and asked the girl’s father what he should do. He knew that the farmer wanted his daughter to marry the squire because he was so rich and the farmer was very poor.

  ‘“Why don’t you prepare for the wedding?” said the father, shooing away a tiresome pig. “When everything is ready, send for my daughter as if you want her to come and do some work. Then when she arrives, marry her quickly before she has time to realize what is going on.”

  ‘The squire thought this was a great idea. He arranged a huge wedding feast and invited lots of guests. When everyone had arrived the squire shouted to one of stable lads.

  ‘“Go to the farmer next door,” he cried, “and have him send up what he promised.”

  ‘The boy ran next door and spoke to the farmer. “My master’s sent me to get what’s been promised,” he said.

  ‘The farmer nodded. “She’s down in the meadow. Help yourself.” And he went back to his pigs.

  ‘The boy ran down to the meadow where he met the beautiful daughter. “Hello,” said the lad. “I’ve come to fetch what your father promised to my master. He said it’s in the meadow.” The girl looked round. Apart from her, the only thing in the meadow was a small white mare.

  ‘“It must be that horse,” she said to the boy. “Help yourself.” And so the boy took the mare back to his master.

  ‘The squire was getting into a terrible state waiting for his bride.

  ‘“Did you bring her?” he shouted at the boy.

  ‘“She’s standing out by the door,” said the lad.

  ‘“Well, don’t just stand there!” screamed the squire. “Take her up to the guest bedroom.”

  ‘“That won’t be easy,” said the boy.

  ‘“Just do it!” bellowed the squire, trying to button his best shirt. “Get some help if she’s difficult.” The squire threw a boot at the boy as he ran out into the yard.

  ‘The small white horse was a nice creature but she’d never been upstairs in a house before and didn’t want to move. In the end it took six farm hands and a dairy maid to push and pull her up the stairs and into the bedroom where the bride’s dress lay waiting. The boy went back to the squire.

  ‘“I’ve done it, master,” he panted, “but it was a terrible job.”

  ‘“Is she dressed?” asked the squire, battling with his jacket.

  ‘“Well, no,” replied the stable boy, rather surprised at the question.

  ‘“Well, get her dressed then,” sputtered the squire. “Do I have to tell you everything?” And he threw his other boot at the boy.

  ‘The boy sighed and wondered if this job was worth all the trouble. The horse wasn’t too keen on the wedding dress, but at last the boy managed to get it on her and even put a garland of flowers around her head.

  ‘“I’m ready,” called the squire. “Bring her down!”

  ‘The boy hadn’t managed to put the shoes on the mare, who clattered down the stairs with a terrible noise. How the wedding guests laughed when the squire came face to face with his bride!

  ‘So, you see,’ said Amber, ‘if you let a misunderstanding go too far it can lead you into terrible trouble. I’m not leaving because I don’t like you but because it is time for me to go home.’

  ‘What happened to the horse?’ asked Joshua.

  ‘I think the squire took a liking to her and they lived happily ever after, although . . .’ Amber paused in mid sentence.

  They had arrived at the giant dragon boat. It looked proudly out to sea. ‘Is it real?’ Amber breathed the words onto the frost air.

  ‘Sort of,’ said Gary. ‘It came over here from Denmark after the war. It’s a . . . reconstruction.’

  ‘No,’ said Amber. ‘It is a dragon ship.’

  Before the children could stop her she grabbed two of the railings that surrounded the great Viking boat and pulled them apart as easily as opening an envelope.

  ‘You’re not supposed to do that!’ cried Joshua.

  ‘How did you do that?’ asked Gary.

  But Amber wasn’t listening. She pulled out a short length of rope from her belt and gave one end to Ratatosk. With a single leap, the squirrel hopped into the boat and fixed the rope to an oar. Then Amber pulled herself up into the dragon ship.

  ‘How is it?’ called Katie, keeping an eye out for policemen.

  Amber peered over the edge of one of the shields.

  ‘It’s hopeless.’ She sighed.

  ‘Of course it’s hopeless,’ muttered Gary. ‘We can’t move the boat and the tide will never come up here. Apart from which I don’t suppose the council would take too kindly to lending their boat out to a Viking. I mean, what would we tell them? This Viking came to visit and . . .’

  Amber slid back down the rope.

  ‘It’s not that,’ she mumbled. ‘I’m too short. I can’t see out to steer.’ Amber flapped her arms in despair, like a penguin faced with the inevitability of defeat at a snooker table. There’s nothing sadder than a dejected Viking who wants to go home, sitting by a useless Viking boat.

  ‘I know. We must build a boat you can see out of,’ said Joshua, who couldn’t imagine how difficult that might be and so felt confident in the suggestion. ‘What do we need?’ He sat down next to his Viking friend.

  Amber pushed her helmet back to think more clearly. ‘First we need a large piece of wood to make the keel.’

  ‘That’s the bottom of the boat,’ explained Katie.

  Gary decided this might be fun. He got out a pencil and paper. ‘You tell us what to do and I’ll draw up a plan,’ he said.

  Amber tried to imagine her father and brothers building one of the dragon ships: ‘First we cut the keel to th
e shape we want, but we leave knobs of wood sticking up to tie the ribs of the boat to. Then we add planks along the side, lashed together with the fine sinewy roots of a spruce tree. After that—’

  Gary threw down his pencil in despair: ‘The sinewy roots of a spruce tree? In Pegwell Bay? In winter?’ He looked at his older sister. ‘Katie, this is hopeless.’

  ‘No, it isn’t.’ Katie squared her shoulders and stood up. ‘Come on, we’ll just think of some other way of building Amber a boat.’ And with that she marched off up the hill.

  Back at the house, Mrs Belcher had been having a clear-out. The skip into which Joshua had fallen some days before now contained a whole lot of old furniture that had come down from the attic. A small, narrow wardrobe stood by the side. Katie looked at it critically and then quite deliberately pushed it over.

  ‘Katie!’ said Joshua, shocked. ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘Making a boat,’ said Katie calmly. The children looked at the wardrobe lying on its back and Gary nodded.

  ‘If we take this door off, the wardrobe could be the bottom of a boat.’

  ‘It would need a sail,’ said Amber uncertainly. ‘And an oar. But it might just be the very thing I need.’

  ‘And how will we get it down to the beach?’ asked Joshua, pulling at the large piece of furniture. ‘It’s really heavy.’

  At this, Amber stepped forward. With a flick of her wrist, she lifted the heavy wardrobe with one hand while Ratatosk jumped around on top of it.

  ‘That’s one problem sorted,’ said Katie. ‘Now . . . the sail. What about that FOR SALE banner you found?’

  ‘The very thing,’ said Amber, shifting the wardrobe onto her other hand as easily as juggling an orange. ‘And my false leg will fit onto the back to make a fine steering board.’

  ‘I didn’t know you had a false leg—’ began Joshua, but Katie interrupted.

  ‘She means the leg from the shop dummy we found on the beach the first day.’

  ‘Oh!’ Joshua was a little disappointed, but went to fetch it anyway.

  Amber had already set off marching to the beach, calling over shoulder: ‘And then I’ll need a dragon for the bow to frighten my enemies and a gold coin to give to the gods in case I get into trouble.’

  The others stopped and stared at her.

  Amber shrugged: ‘These are Viking basics for any journey.’

  Gary got the door off the wardrobe and Amber carried the rest of it down to the water-line. From his shed out on the Pitch and Putt course, Mr Patterson thought he saw a wardrobe float past on its own. He really did need to find more things to occupy his mind in the winter.

  Joshua found the plastic leg and Amber fixed it to one side of the wardrobe with the toe dipping in the water. By moving the top of the leg she could actually steer her new ‘boat’. Then Gary fixed an old broom handle to the cupboard and attached the large FOR SALE banner.

  ‘I’ll need some rope to hold it,’ said Amber, getting quite excited. ‘My aunt makes the ropes at home. She cuts a single, spiral strip out of an animal’s hide from the shoulder to the tail. Any animal would do – a whale, seal or whatever. Although, of course, the strongest bond is made from all the secret and invisible things in the world – the noise of a cat, the breath of a fish, the roots of a mountain, sinews of a bear and the spittle of a bird.’

  Katie got some garden twine and that seemed to do the trick.

  As a finishing touch, Gary cut a dragon’s head out of an old washing-up bottle to fix on the front. Amber was very impressed.

  ‘I learned it from Blue Peter,’ Gary explained.

  ‘He must be a great man,’ replied Amber.

  ‘Is there anything else you’ll need?’ asked Gary.

  ‘Just food.’

  Katie got out a pencil to make a list. ‘What sort of food?’

  Amber thought for a moment: ‘An ox would be useful.’

  Katie paused and wrote down: ‘Packet of ham.’ Then she added crisps and some peanut butter as a bit of a treat.

  At last everything was ready. Katie, Gary and Joshua stood quietly with Amber on the shore of Pegwell Bay. Everyone felt that they ought to say something, but no one was quite sure what that something should be. Gary stared down at his trainers, and Joshua fidgeted with something in his pocket, though at least for once he wasn’t thinking about going to the loo. Then Ratatosk climbed to the top of the mast in the wardrobe boat and pretended to look out to sea.

  It was Katie who broke the silence. ‘Will you be alright?’ she asked, trying to sound casual, but not succeeding.

  ‘Of course,’ replied Amber. ‘I am a Viking. I am Amber, Hammer of the North.’ She hugged Katie and pressed something into her hand. Then the little Viking turned and pushed the great dragon ship out into the water.

  ‘Wait!’ cried Joshua. ‘You forgot your gold coin to give to the gods.’ He reached into his pocket, pulled out a large plastic gold coin and tossed it into the boat. ‘I got it with six Coke bottle tops. That one’s Batman. It’s my favourite.’

  But Joshua’s words were lost as the sail flapped and caught the wind. For a moment, the little wardrobe ship with its plastic steering board and red FOR SALE banner stood out clearly against the blue sea. Then it seemed as if the children had shut their eyes for a second. Whey they looked again, Amber had gone.

  Katie, Gary and Joshua stood for as long as they could on the beach at Pegwell Bay, until at last Hrimfaxi, the horse of the night, began to ride through the sky. The fog of Niflheim started to sweep across the bay.

  ‘Are you sure she’ll be alright?’ asked Joshua, looking out to sea.

  ‘Of course, she’s a Viking,’ replied Katie.

  ‘You don’t think we just imagined her, do you?’ wondered Gary. ‘I mean, no one but us ever saw her.’

  ‘No,’ said Katie. ‘Look!’ She opened her hand and there lay the small silver hammer of the great god Thor, which Amber had always worn around her neck. ‘She is Amber, Hammer of the North.’

  About the Author

  Following a first-class degree from Cambridge, Sandi Toksvig went into the theatre, where she both wrote and performed before becoming one of the founder members of the Comedy Store Players. She is well known for her television and radio work, as a presenter, writer and actor.

  Also by Sandi Toksvig:

  SUPER-SAVER MOUSE

  SUPER-SAVER MOUSE TO THE RESCUE

  THE TROUBLESOME TOOTH FAIRY

  UNUSUAL DAY

  HITLER’S CANARY

  THE LITTLEST VIKING

  AN RHCP DIGITAL EBOOK 978 1 407 04778 2

  Published in Great Britain by RHCP Digital,

  an imprint of Random House Children’s Publishers UK

  A Random House Group Company

  This ebook edition published 2012

  Copyright © Sandi Toksvig, 2008

  Illustrations copyright © Georgien Overwater, 2008

  First Published in Great Britain

  Yearling 2008

  The right of Sandi Toksvig to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

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