The Cowboy's Lady

by Carolyne Aarsen

  Vivienne heard Mei’s sharp intake of breath and she waited while her cousin digested this news.

  “Does anyone…know if he’s okay?”

  “As far as we know he is.” Vivienne switched the phone to her other hand, her own concern over Lucas, for now, overshadowing the other sorrows in her life. “But we’re only hearing sketchy reports.” She gave the swing another push, wondering if she dared ask Mei to come back to Clayton. At the funeral, only a couple of the cousins made a strong commitment to coming back. Lucas wasn’t there, and Mei didn’t seem convinced she wanted to return.

  But Vivienne couldn’t fault her. At one time she wasn’t sure she wanted to return herself.

  And now she wished she hadn’t. Because coming back had meant meeting Cody. Coming back had meant falling hard for a cowboy who didn’t seem to care that she was gone.

  Her heart contracted at the thought of Cody, and she brushed her own aching feelings aside. For now she wanted to concentrate on Mei and what she needed.

  “So I’m guessing you want me to return,” Mei said, her voice sharp.

  “It would be wonderful if we could be together. If we could pray together,” Vivienne said. “I think now, more than ever, we need to be a family. To pray for Lucas and to support each other.”

  More silence, then Mei eased out a sigh. “I know. I know. I’ve…I’ve missed you all, as well.”

  Her admission warmed Vivienne’s chilled heart. “I’m glad to hear that,” she said quietly.

  They talked a bit more. Vivienne brought her up to speed on what was going on in Clayton but didn’t give her much information about what she was doing herself.

  What could she tell her cousin other than she was wandering around Clayton, looking for a job? Looking for some way to keep busy while she nursed her broken heart. When Vivienne had come to Clayton, her dreams were crystal clear. Stay around for her required year then go back to New York and start her restaurant.

  Trouble was, it wasn’t what she wanted anymore.

  She thought of her family and the connections they’d rebuilt. She thought of the renewal her faith had undergone while living here. Could she really leave that behind? A reluctant smile played across her lips. Her grandfather probably anticipated this when he thought of this scheme.

  Vivienne picked up the Bible she had sitting on the other side. She’d had lots of time to read it lately. And she’d been finding comfort in the words of the Psalms. Today it was Psalm 31.

  “…as for me, I trust in the LORD. I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.”

  Vivienne stopped there, rereading the words and letting them take root in her heart. God knew what she was going through right now, and while she knew so many people had so much more to deal with than broken hearts and bad mistakes, she still needed the comfort God’s word could give her right now.

  She covered her face in her hands. “Help me to truly trust in You, Lord,” she prayed. “Help me not to think that my work is more important than You. Help me to remember that my heart belongs to You.” She stopped as that very heart clenched in sorrow. She knew God was faithful and that He would comfort her, but at the same time she knew her sadness over Cody would not leave her quickly.

  He had become so much a part of her that being away from him, only these few days, caused deep sorrow and pain. She missed him. She cared for him more than she had cared for anyone else.

  She loved him.

  The thought struck her like a jolt. Then she closed her eyes. Too late. Too late.

  She knew she couldn’t go back to the ranch. She knew she didn’t belong there. Hadn’t that been made clear again and again? She let the horses out, Cody thought she cut the fence, she had almost killed his men with her cooking. She didn’t belong on the ranch. She’d never make a ranch wife.

  Useless.

  And Cody hadn’t even bothered to call her. To talk to her.

  I’ll never go after another woman again.

  So why should he come after her? He didn’t need her.

  “Dear Lord, help me to trust in You and You alone. Help me to love You first,” she prayed, slowly releasing her heart into the Lord’s loving hands. Then she opened her Bible and began reading again.

  She didn’t look terrible but she did look sad.

  And she obviously wasn’t in Denver.

  Cody stood at the end of the sidewalk leading up to Brooke’s house, watching Vivienne pushing herself on the swing, her head bent, his questions and confusion battling with the welcome sight of her.

  Her eyes were looking intently at a book in her lap. Instead of her usual silky blouses and narrow skirts, she wore blue jeans and an old flannel shirt. Her hair hung around her face, just how he liked it. She wore no makeup, and she looked like she’d been crying.

  But she still looked fantastic.

  His heart jumped in his chest with a combination of nerves and confusion. He thought for sure Dorothy Henry was wrong. That he was coming to Brooke’s place on a wild goose chase.

  He had put off coming here, not sure of how he would be received.

  Please, Lord, he prayed, give me the right words.

  But he did know that he cared for Vivienne more than he had ever cared for anyone else. That his days were empty without her. And that the longer he stood here, the harder it would be to tell her that.

  He took a deep breath, sent up another quick prayer and walked up the sidewalk to the porch.

  Vivienne turned a page in the book she was reading, the rustle of the paper the only sound in the quiet that settled on the neighborhood. It was as if everything waited—even Silver Creek, flowing behind the house, had quieted to a soothing murmur, waiting to hear what he had to say.

  She sniffed, then wiped her nose with a soggy tissue. Then dabbed at her eyes with the same tissue. Her eyes were red and her cheeks pale.

  He cleared his throat and her head flew up, her hair flowing back from her face. She slammed the book shut and dropped it on the seat beside her, then jumped to her feet.

  “What…what are you doing… What do you want?” she stammered, her hand reaching for the door of the house. As if she was trying to get away from him.

  Cody took a halting step closer, thinking of how he would handle a skittish horse, feeling as if he needed to use the same approach here.

  “I just want to talk to you,” he said quietly, raising one hand just a little. Making a tentative move in her direction.

  “What about?” She sniffed again but lowered her hand.

  “About us. About why you left. About why you’re still here in Clayton.”

  She frowned. “Where else would I be?”

  Her question threw him off. “Denver?” he offered.

  “Why would I be in Denver?”

  “Chef Andre? From Au something-or-other?” He couldn’t help the edge entering his voice. “I forgot to pass the message on, but I’m sure he called again offering you a job.”

  “He did.”

  “And you didn’t take it?” he queried.

  “No. Why would I?”

  “Because you were just there a week ago.” He wasn’t sure what to say or how to say it. “Didn’t you apply for a job then?”

  She shook her head. “No. I applied for that job a couple of months ago. When I came back after getting fired in New York.”

  “So that wasn’t the reason you went to Denver last weekend?”

  “I went to buy supplies for your birthday dinner.” Vivienne’s frown deepened. “How did you know about the job?” she continued.

  Cody felt sheepish, but behind his embarrassment was a jolt of relief at her admission.

  A couple of months ago, he told himself. She applied for that job a couple of months ago. She had gone to Denver to buy supplies for his birthday dinner.

  But he forced his attention back to her question. “I answered your phone. When I was driving your car back from the auto repair shop. Mine was dead and I
thought maybe someone from the ranch was trying to call me. And it was this chef guy offering you a job. I thought you wanted to leave. That you wanted to go back to being a real chef in a real restaurant. Not living on the ranch.”

  Vivienne wrapped her arms around her midsection, but she hadn’t made a move toward the house. Or toward him.

  “I heard you had an accident with my car. When you drove it back to the ranch.”

  Cody pushed down a flicker of frustration at her comment. Her car. Her job. This wasn’t what he wanted to talk to her about, but he figured he had better work his way slowly to the real reason he was here. “I just came back from Art Krueger’s. He looked over the car and said the brake line had been nicked. So it leaked fluid. Which made the brakes fail. He suspects Billy Dean had something to do with it because shortly after I picked up the car, Billy Dean quit.”

  “Are you okay?” The concern in her voice ignited a glimmer of hope.

  “I’m fine. But I reported the incident. I’m sure the other Claytons had something to do with it, as well.” And when he reported the incident he had to put up with Sheriff Zach’s cool attitude. As if it was his fault Vivienne was sitting on a porch with red eyes, reading the Bible. And maybe it was. “I’m pretty sure the other Claytons had something to do with the food poisoning, as well,” he added.

  What little color Vivienne had left in her face drained away at the mention of that horrible incident. She held her hands in front of her as if pushing away what he might have to say. “That was so horrible. People could have died.”

  “Uncle Ted saw Bryce in the kitchen. Fooling with the soup,” Cody hurriedly explained, hoping to catch her midflight. “And Bryce and Billy Dean were pretty tight. I’m convinced they were all involved with Bryce putting something in the soup that made everyone sick. I think they were trying to do to you what has been happening to your cousins. I think they’re trying to get you to leave.”

  Vivienne pressed her hand to her mouth and she looked away, as if hardly daring to believe what he was saying.

  Cody was encouraged by her response and took another step closer. Now he was directly in front of her. He tossed his hat on the glider and gently cupped her shoulders in his hands.

  “It wasn’t your fault, Vivienne. You didn’t make anyone sick.”

  “But…I let it happen.” Her comment was a feeble protest, and Cody lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes.

  “How could you know what Bryce would do?”

  Then, finally, her gaze swerved up and locked on his. “Do you believe that?”

  He frowned, wondering where that question had come from. “Of course I do. You’re an amazing cook—chef,” he corrected, wanting to get things right. “You would never be that careless. And I’m pretty sure Bryce, Billy Dean and who knows who else have all been involved in some of the other things that went on at the ranch.” He thought of Bryce’s insidious comments about Vivienne and his veiled implication that Vivienne had somehow been involved in the cutting of the fence.

  “And Cade?” she asked.

  “He wasn’t involved in any of it. Seems to me and Uncle Ted that Bryce just set him up as the fall guy. I talked to Cade and I believe him when he said he wasn’t involved. It wouldn’t make any sense for him to alienate a family he wanted to be a part of.”

  “He’s a nice guy,” Vivienne admitted. “And if he was at fault, I doubt he would have stayed around once everything was discovered.”

  Cody gave an impatient nod, eager to move on to more important things.

  Vivienne looked away, moisture shining from one corner of her eye, and when she blinked, it tracked down her cheek. He removed it with one thumb, his heart turning over at the relief on her features.

  “And I never got to thank you for making my birthday dinner.” He lowered his voice, hoping to reconnect with her.

  She looked up, hope shimmering in her eyes. “I wanted to make your day special,” she said quietly, dashing at another tear trickling down her face. “And it turned out so badly. I felt like such a failure. I’d made so many mistakes on the ranch. I felt like I didn’t belong there.”

  “Like I said, not your fault.” Then as her words registered, realization dawned. “Was that what you were talking about when you said you were useless? That you couldn’t be at the ranch? That you had to leave?”

  Vivienne nodded, her gaze slipping away from his, as if reliving her shame. “I couldn’t seem to do things right.”

  He cupped her face in both his hands and turned her again to face him.

  “Why would you ever think that? What would ever make you think that?”

  Her eyes flicked up to his but then settled on his chest. “I let the horses out. Bryce made it sound like you thought it was my fault the cows got out. I couldn’t even go for a walk and not almost sprain my ankle in those stupid city boots. And then, the one thing I thought I could do got messed up.” She looked up at him again. “I really, truly felt like a city girl. I loved the ranch so much and I wanted so badly to belong…to be someone who could help you…to be…” Her words faded away as her gaze lowered again.

  “You wanted to belong?” He tried to make the words fit into the black thoughts he’d been harboring the past few days. Thoughts of Vivienne wanting to leave. To get as far away from the ranch—and him—as possible. “You love the ranch?”

  “I didn’t want to be like Tabitha. I wanted to be someone who could be a partner to you.”

  Cody felt a rush of affection and behind that a deeper, stronger emotion he couldn’t express in words.

  So he bent his head to hers and caught her lips with his in a deep, satisfying kiss. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to his heart.

  Then he pressed his lips to her cheek, her neck, nestling her head against his shoulder. “I can’t believe I got it so wrong,” he murmured. “I thought you’d had enough of the ranch and you wanted to leave as fast as possible. I thought you had enough of me.”

  Vivienne pressed her face against his coat, her arms wrapped tightly around him. “No, never enough of you. I thought I was nothing but trouble to you. Just a mistake.” She pulled away, her eyes shining with tears, but with something more. With joy and happiness. “I love the ranch, and I love you. I didn’t want to go, but I thought I was just making things worse for you.”

  “The only way you make things worse for me is by leaving me all alone.”

  She swallowed and then reached up and ran her hand over the stubble on his chin. “And you came after me.”

  “I’m sorry it took so long.” He dropped another kiss on her mouth, as if hoping, by that action, to atone for his tardiness. “I was so sure you were gone. That you left for Denver.”

  “I wanted to come back to the ranch so many times, but I was too ashamed.” She gave him a tentative smile. “And I knew you said you would never go after a girl again, so I knew you wouldn’t come after me.”

  “I didn’t deserve to have you back at the ranch. Not the way I jumped to conclusions.” He stroked her face with his hand. “I’m so sorry for all the mistakes I made. So sorry for ever thinking what I did.”

  “If the other Claytons were involved, you were probably getting fed lots of poisonous tidbits.”

  “I should have known better. I should have trusted you.” He sighed, then he brushed his lips over her forehead, his eyes drifting shut. “I love you, Vivienne Clayton. And I want you to come back to the ranch with me. And I want you to make the move permanent.”

  Vivienne grew utterly still.

  “Did I hear you right?” she whispered.

  Cody drew back and gave her a tentative smile. “I hope you did.” Then he brushed her hair away from her face, kissed her again and said, “I want you to marry me.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “As sure as I’ve ever been of anything in my life.”

  She gazed up at him. “But do you think I’ll fit in?”

  “The huge hole in my heart says that you fit
in very well,” Cody said, his voice rough with emotion.

  “Okay. I want to be with you,” she said quietly. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  “I don’t need to be warned. I just need to know whether you will or not.”

  Vivienne rose up on her tiptoes, caught her hand behind Cody’s neck and gave him a gentle kiss. “I will,” she whispered.

  The weight Cody had been carrying since Vivienne left shifted off his shoulders. He wanted to laugh. To swing her around and to proclaim to anyone who would listen that Vivienne Clayton was his lady.

  Instead he pulled her close. “I suppose we’ll have to tell your family,” he said quietly. “I’m sure Zach will want to know what’s happening. He gave me the evil eye when I stopped in there to let him know about your car.”

  Vivienne pulled away, drawing him to the swing. They sat down together, but she kept her hands twined in his. “I’m sure you will. He can be a bit of a father bear at times.”

  Cody stroked her face again. “So you really want to move to the ranch?”

  “I do,” she said quietly.

  “And what about your dream of owning your own restaurant?”

  Vivienne gave him a trembling smile. “It’s not as important as being with you.”

  He believed her answer was true, but he also knew that he had learned something from Tabitha. He didn’t want Vivienne to lose herself in the ranch. To lose the dreams that he knew were as much a part of her as her blond hair and blue eyes.

  He gave a push on the swing, the creaking of the chains the only sound in the following silence. “Remember how I was so worried you would turn the ranch into a retreat?”

  She laughed at that, laying her head on his shoulder. “It didn’t happen, did it?”

  “But it could.”

  She went still at that.

  Cody ran his fingers over hers, tracing their lines, finding the scar from when she had hurt herself that morning they had made breakfast together. A few other nicks and scars dotted her hands. He guessed that someone who made their living wielding knives would suffer a few cuts from time to time.

  “I was thinking that you’ve got all these amazing skills and talents and you had your dreams. I’d like to find a way for you to use them. On the ranch. I was thinking we could have a retreat. Where people could come to the ranch and enjoy the outdoors and eat amazing food.”