Living Backwards

by Tracy Sweeney

  “Now, I know for a fact that you can be enthusiastic,” he whispered again. My eyes widened just as the flash went off.

  “Perfect,” my mother exclaimed.

  “So, Luke,” my father began, walking towards us with his hands in his pockets. “You drive a Lexus.”

  “Yes, sir,” he replied.

  “A little fancy for a high school kid,” he added, staring out at the silver car in the driveway.

  “Dad,” I warned him, knowing he was just seconds away from embarrassing me.

  “Actually Mr. Cross, my uncle did some research and found it did well in crash tests. Since he works at the hospital and sees so many accidents, he wanted me to get the safest car possible,” he explained fluidly.

  My dad nodded silently.

  “Got a big backseat there, Luke?” he asked as he narrowed his eyes.

  “Dad!” I exclaimed.

  “What, Jill? I just want to know if he spends a lot of his time in his backseat. Do you, Luke?”

  “Oh my God!” I fumed, grabbing Luke by the arm. “We’re leaving.”

  “Have fun tonight, kids,” my mom called after us as I rushed towards the door. Before I slammed it shut, I saw the bulb flash one last time.

  Luke opened the door to the car for me and I climbed in, my fists still clenched. He settled into the driver’s seat and glanced over at me.

  “Was your dad asking me if I was planning on having sex with you in the backseat of my car?”

  “Yes. Yes, I think he was. And we will never speak of it again,” I replied unable to look him in the eye.

  “Great way to start off the evening,” he muttered, pulling out of the driveway. “I’ll try to make the stop at my house a little less painful.”

  “Your aunt could be knitting baby blankets for us and it wouldn’t be as uncomfortable as that was.”

  “Was that your attempt at lightening the mood?”

  “Speaking of light. Joan really needs a refill. Can we stop off and grab something…anything? She hates going to a party empty-handed.”

  “I haven’t seen that thing in a while. I thought you might be on the wagon.”

  “Wagons are overrated,” I replied. “I hope you brought one too because I don’t want poor Joan to be dateless on prom night.”

  “Sorry. I don’t think my flask is mature enough to date.” He was staring straight ahead, but I could see the smile playing on his lips. I couldn’t resist teasing him a little.

  “I didn’t know you were such a prude, Luke.”

  “I think you know I’m not, Jillian,” he said, turning toward me. The sweet smile that I had just witnessed was gone, replaced by something darker. We weren’t joking around anymore. I had been trying to keep it light, but he was messing with my ability to think straight.

  “I still might need convincing,” I added, my voice sounding shaky as I tried to sound more confident than I was. I wasn’t pulling it off.

  “While I’d love to convince you,” he replied, pulling up the gravel path to his house. “I’m pretty sure that my uncle has a camcorder aimed out the window so he can catch the whole prom experience on film. I’d rather he not witness what I want to do to you right now.”

  My mouth fell open. I could hear myself breathing heavy, and I sounded like I was making an obscene phone call. It had been hard enough trying to keep myself composed before Luke mentioned…doing things. Now, I wasn’t in any shape to make small talk with Carter and Grace—not while I was daydreaming about doing salacious things with their nephew. Luke was enjoying my reaction a little too much. He smirked, arching his eyebrow again as he turned to get out of the car, and came around the side to open my door. I hoped the fresh air would help my breathing problem.

  He led me up the path to his house, and when he opened the door, both Grace and Carter came rushing into the living room. Carter hadn’t been perched at the window waiting for us, but he did, in fact, have a camcorder trained on us as we entered the house. Awesome.

  “Oh, Jillian!” Grace gasped, clasping her hands under her chin. “You’re breathtaking.”

  Auntie Grace is officially my new favorite person.

  “You look lovely, Jillian,” Carter added as he looked through the lens.

  Luke wrapped his arm around my waist, squeezing tightly. I was momentarily taken aback by such an open gesture. It would have surprised me if he had done something like that in front of our friends, but it astounded me that he was doing it in front of his family. I was both a little excited and nervous at the same time.

  “I made canapés,” Grace announced happily gripping a tray with both hands. “These are ginger orange chicken, Jillian,” she explained raising the tray for me. “It’s a new recipe.”

  I grabbed one of the round baguettes and took a bite of pure bliss. I couldn’t stop the moan that resonated from deep in my chest.

  “Grace, that right there is a little slice of heaven,” I replied. I turned to Luke planning to ask if he had tried the yummy goodness, but when I looked at him, his eyes were focused on my mouth and his breathing was shallow.

  Looks like it’s payback time.

  “Could I have another, Grace?” I asked sweetly.

  “Absolutely,” she beamed. “I’m so happy you like them. I’m not a big fan of last minute additions, but I think I need to include this in the book.”

  I grabbed another baguette and turned to Luke.

  “Have you tasted this, Luke?” I asked, using the same innocent tone he employed with my mother. I slowly took a bite, running my tongue along my lips and groaning. “I just can’t get enough.”

  I heard the low rumble coming from Luke as he shot me a warning glance.

  “The sauce is a little sticky,” I added licking my fingers. “But it tastes so good!”

  “We’re going now,” he announced hastily as he cupped his hand around my elbow and turned me toward the door.

  “Oh, just one picture before you go,” Grace pleaded fumbling with a camera.

  Luke sighed loudly, turning us back to face his aunt. Again, he gripped my waist tightly, and I tried to smile, but I was feeling so overwhelmed. Grace snapped the picture, temporarily blinding us again. Before she could say anything else, Luke marched us out the door.

  “Luke,” Carter called behind us. “Remember our talk.”

  He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. “You’re trying to kill me, right?” he muttered, closing the door swiftly.

  “What was that all about?”

  “Let’s just say that your dad wasn’t the only one that wanted to discuss the birds and the bees with me today,” he explained reluctantly.

  “Well clearly neither of them got the memo that I’m not into prom night clichés. I took care of all that business before prom,” I deadpanned.

  He doubled over, laughing. “Jesus Christ. You never say what I think you’re going to say,” he said, shaking his head.

  “Well, someone’s got to keep you on your toes,” I replied with a smirk.

  “That you do,” he added softly.

  As soon as we turned onto Danielle’s street, I saw the white limousine that Danielle rented parked in front of her house. She and Josh were standing on her front lawn. Her mouth seemed to be moving a mile a minute and I knew already that she was in overdrive. I really needed a drink.

  “Shit!” I exclaimed. “Joan is empty and Danielle, well Danielle looks like that,” I added pointing her way. “I’ll never survive!”

  “Relax,” he replied calmly. “What kind of prom date would I be if I didn’t try to ply my girl with liquor?”

  He reached into the backseat (or my dad’s supposed Den of Fornication) and pulled out a bottle of Goldschläger. It was kind of “high school” and well, gross, but when in Rome.

  He must have picked up on my puzzled expression.

  “Girls like that stuff, trust me,” he replied. I nearly fainted watching him arch and turn next to me as he proceeded to funnel the clear liquid into Joan. I bet she was thi
rsty.

  With Joan filled, we each took a pull. I had forgotten how wretched Goldschläger was. At least it would dull the pain of prom.

  Since there wasn’t any reason to delay the inevitable, we made our way over to see what was causing the commotion. Danielle was still very animated, her hands motioning out by her sides. The focus of her tirade seemed to be Josh.

  “Poor Bastard,” Luke muttered as we approached. “Add a cane and he’d look like Mr. Peanut.”

  Luke was right. Poor Josh was wearing a basic tuxedo, but had a top hat in his hand. I couldn’t imagine what possessed her to make him wear that. Danielle, despite whatever caused her hysteria, looked amazing. Years later she would say that the sapphire dress was a monstrosity, but it really was impossible for Danielle to look bad. Her dress had a beaded corset top and a full length skirt. The dark blue color made her skin appear to shimmer. She was stunning.

  I had obviously seen the prom pictures of Danielle and Josh under the pink and silver balloon arch. Danielle bitched and moaned about the atrocious colors and how they clashed. I always felt a little sad and wistful when she complained. I wasn’t there at the prom, so I didn’t have a strong opinion either way. I guess I would now.

  “Josh, how does one accidentally lose a cane?” We heard Danielle ask as we approached.

  “I don’t know, Danielle,” Josh replied sarcastically. “Canes are in high demand on prom night. Maybe someone took it.”

  “Well, we’re going back to the tux shop and getting another one.”

  “Danielle, honey,” I interrupted, causing her to jump. She hadn’t even noticed we’d arrived.

  “Oh, Jillian!” she sighed grabbing my hands and taking in my dress. “The dress looks lovely on you!”

  “Thank you. You look amazing, too,” I replied carefully. “I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation you were just having with Josh.”

  “Can you believe it?!” she fumed.

  “I think we need to let the cane go, Danielle,” I added cautiously.

  “But—”

  “No. I think we need to move along. For everyone’s sake. Where are Megan and Nate anyway?” I asked looking around.

  “She said they were running late,” she replied, just as Nate’s car rounded the corner. He stepped out, shooting us a wide grin as he opened the door for Megan. Unlike Josh and Danielle, whose photos I had seen a million times, this was the first time I would actually see Megan and Nate together at the prom. Megan originally went with Grant Peters and ended up giving him a bloody nose. He spent prom night in the ER and Megan spent the evening icing her hand. Hopefully, he would think twice before trying to cop a feel on some other unsuspecting girl.

  When Megan stepped out of the car, I swore it reminded me of one of those scenes from Baywatch when Pamela Anderson and Yasmine Bleeth would run in slow motion across the beach. She stepped out slowly, a leg peeking out from the high slit in her purple fitted dress. I fought back a chuckle when she finally stood outside of the car. When I first saw a picture of Megan’s dress, it was during a girls’ night that consisted of too much wine and not enough verbal filtering. I burst out laughing because the big flouncy sleeves and ruched fabric reminded me of a mariachi singer. After that night, I learned to keep some of my musings to myself.

  Nate leaned in, whispering something in her ear as they linked arms. Whatever it was that he said caused a blush to spread across her face. I could count on one hand the number of times I saw Megan Dunn blush. This was a very interesting development. As they approached, I noticed that the buttons on Nate’s shirt looked funny. I tried not to stare, but it was hard not to. He buttoned his shirt wrong.

  “Pay up, man,” I heard Josh say as he leaned toward Luke.

  “Damn it,” he cursed reaching into his back pocket for his wallet. He pulled out a twenty and slapped it onto Josh’s awaiting palm.

  “What’s that all about?” I asked.

  “You seriously don’t know?” he asked, his brow arched again. “Mr. & Mrs. Obvious over there were too covert for you?”

  I stared at him, narrowing my eyes.

  “The bet, Jillian. I lost the bet,” he explained motioning to Megan and Nate.

  “Oh. OH!” I exclaimed, inspecting Megan for any telltale signs. She seemed to be properly buttoned and zippered. “Sorry, Luke,” I added, rubbing his back. “I told you so.”

  He leaned into me, so that I felt his weight against my arm. The heat from his body led me to forget what we were talking about altogether until I heard someone clear their throat.

  “Sorry to interrupt,” Megan said smirking at me. “Just wanted to tell you that you looked very nice, Jillian.”

  Was she taunting me? Really?

  “You too, Meg,” I replied sweetly. “Oh and Nate, love the statement you’re making with the tux shirt. That I-just-screwed-my-girlfriend-in-the-limo look is all the rage.”

  “Burn!” Josh exclaimed raising his palm for a high five. I slapped his palm giggling, but was met with Megan’s furious glare when I looked up. While I should have been terrified, I knew better. Girlfriend was probably dying to kiss and tell.

  “Oh get over it, Meg,” I added. “It’s all in good fun.”

  “We really should get going, though,” Danielle said checking her watch.

  “Okay, everybody,” Mrs. Powers announced walking over to the limo. “Group shot before you leave.”

  “I think Jillian should go in the middle because she balances the blue and purple of our dresses on either side,” Danielle explained to Megan, who rolled her eyes, and took her place by my side. Then each of us stood in front of our respective dates, smiling for the camera. After the flash, Danielle popped up and scurried over to the limo door.

  “Chop-chop, people,” she called out clapping her hands and motioning into the car. “I’ve been dreaming of my prom since I was a little girl. We need to get there early so that I can give the DJ the list of songs that need to be played and the order in which to play them.”

  “Be right back,” Luke added, jogging over to his car. I climbed in and wasted no time grabbing Joan from my purse. If Danielle was this amped up now, it was going to be a long night.

  When we were all settled, Luke slipped into the limo, covertly pulling out the bottle of Goldschläger from his jacket. Josh grabbed some glasses from the bar as Luke poured shots for the others. I unapologetically sipped from Joan in the interim, watching the others interact. Megan was attempting to convince Nate that the Macarena was sexy when done by the right person. Josh had his drink in one hand and held onto his top hat with the other. Danielle and Luke seemed to be having some kind of silent conversation. She had a pretty smug expression on her face, and Luke looked entirely too annoyed. He must have sensed I was watching because he turned suddenly and looked across the seat at me. A slow, sexy smile spread across his face when he caught me staring. I recognized that smile right away; it was just in black and white the last time I saw it.

  Mine now.

  A few minutes later, we pulled up to the Reynolds High School gymnasium for the I Still Believe (Brenda K. Starr Sang it Better) Prom because nothing said romance like the smell of jock straps and gym socks. I was feeling pretty good. After a couple weeks “on the wagon” as Luke put it, I welcomed the tingly feeling the Goldschläger provided.

  The first thing I noticed as we walked through the gym doors was the balloon arch. It was silver and white, not pink and silver.

  Oh shit.

  “Thank God they listened to me,” Danielle sighed staring up at the arch.

  “Who?” I asked slightly dazed.

  “Oh, the prom committee,” she replied nonchalantly.

  “But you weren’t on the prom committee,” I replied because I knew for a fact that arch was supposed to be pink, and Danielle had no part in planning the color scheme.

  “No, but I just got so excited about all of us going to prom together. I wanted to make sure everything was perfect so I kind of imposed my will on the c
ommittee girls,” she explained. I stared at her, stunned. I’d been on the receiving end of her powers of persuasion. I could only imagine what she put those poor girls through. There were probably tears involved.

  “What did you say to them?” I asked.

  “They have no concept of design and color,” she added. “They were going to use pink balloons, Jillian. Pink! Hello, clashing color! Someday, dear Jillian, people will pay a great deal of money to have me design for them. Reynolds High should be happy they got me on the cheap.”

  Danielle led us over to the area for prom photos explaining that we needed to get the necessities out of the way before we were allowed to have fun. While we waited in line, she bounced over to the DJ to make his life miserable. I focused on the balloon arch overhead, wondering what else had changed and if it was a bad thing.

  I was still pondering the implications of Danielle’s actions when Luke slid his hand into mine. He was staring at me with the softest, sweetest smile. It was such a small gesture, holding my hand. Not something people even think about anymore, really. But with that small gesture, everything seemed to change. Our unspoken words hung in the air between us, causing the atmosphere to feel heavy and charged.

  In front of the jungle of silver and white balloons, Luke stood behind me once again, but this time when we faced the camera, there wasn’t any teasing. This time when he rested his hands on my hips, he pulled me in closer to his chest. This time when I felt his breath on my neck, I leaned my head towards his. This time was different, and we both knew it.

  He led me over to the table where Megan and Nate were seated, pulling out a chair for me to sit down in. Danielle skittered over to us grabbing my hand before I could sit.

  “Let’s go, ladies!” she exclaimed. “My good friend DJ Dan has promised me some Genie in a Bottle and I need my girls for that.”

  I glared at Luke silently imploring him to intervene. He shrugged his shoulders and smiled, leaving me to fend for myself. Danielle proceeded to drag me roughly onto the dance floor as Meg gladly followed.

  As if on cue or more likely by threat, Christina Aguilera began playing as soon as we hit the floor. Megan grabbed Danielle by the hips and began doing that ridiculous grinding thing girls do to get the attention of every guy in the room.