Torn

by A. M. Wallace

  Tomorrow then. We'll go somewhere. I'm not taking no for an answer.

  Seriously, when did bossiness become such a sexy quality in a guy? Oh, that’s right, when it was an indication on how much he missed me. I loved it.

  Can't wait.

  I put my phone in my hoodie pocket so I could still feel it vibrate and picked up my pen to at least pretend to take notes. I looked over at Erica, who was staring at me. I couldn't read her expression, but I didn't think it was bad. Tonight would be the first night we got to spend some time together just the two of us and, hopefully, air out this dirty laundry between us. I knew it had only been a few days, but I missed my best friend, and I desperately needed her while I figured out what to do about Marcus.

  My phone vibrated again and I took it out to read the text from Justin. He was just saying he was going to study tonight and he'd call me later. I replied quickly and put my phone away again. Class would be over soon, I didn't want Justin to be the distraction I knew he would be from my time with E.

  Once the professor dismissed us, Erica and I walked out together. Side by side, we walked home in silence. As we got to the apartment, I was building up the courage to say something to her but she beat me to it. She turned from where she was unlocking our door to face me.

  “You know I'm happy for you, right? I'm glad you found someone who seems to make you happy. I'm glad that you might actually get over Marcus. You deserve that.”

  Her words shocked me, not because I didn't believe they were true, but because I didn't get why she felt the need to tell me. Then it dawned on me. This was her way of apologizing for how short she'd been with me lately.

  “I know that, E. I really do, and I know why you're upset with me. I just don't know how to go about this,” I sighed.

  “I know, but that's what I'm here for.” She grinned, and I started to feel a little better.

  I could feel the tension between us from the last few days lifting with that one smile. She opened the door and I followed her in as she started talking to me over her shoulder.

  “And if I know my best friend at all, I know she told her boyfriend to shove it tonight because tonight is my night with her.” I laughed hard at this. She did know me better than I knew myself sometimes.

  “You're right. I did. He's taking me somewhere tomorrow, so tonight, I'm all yours.” She grinned.

  “Good. I have everything we need.” She walked over to the fridge and pulled out two bottles of vodka, a bottle of cranberry juice, a tub of ice cream from the freezer, and held two movies up for me. I walked over to get a closer look.

  “The Notebook and Tristan and Isolde. Tristan and Isolde I can do, but The Notebook? Really? Tonight of all nights?” She looked confused and then gasped when she realized what I was getting at. It wasn't the best idea to watch a movie about two high school sweethearts finding their way to each other again, even after the girl is engaged to be married to someone else. It wasn't the same exact situation, but it hit close to home now.

  “Right. Okay, so just this one. I'm sure we have a good comedy to watch too. We'll be talking more than we'll be watching these anyways.” I laughed and walked over to observe her stash of goodies more closely.

  “Looks like you got everything else just right.”

  “Don't I always?” We both laughed and gathered everything in our arms to head to the living room to get the night started.

  we hadn't been at it for more than two hours and were both a little more than tipsy, but not quite drunk yet. I couldn't remember the last time I let loose like this. Well, if I was being honest, I couldn't remember a lot of things right now. I was full of ice cream, alcohol, and the pizza we'd ordered an hour ago. It must have been a deadly combination.

  “I need to tell Marcus…” I sighed, taking another sip of my vodka cranberry.

  “Yes, you do. I don't know why you haven't yet anyway.” Erica was a little tipsier than I was, but she was a lightweight. I think I had earned that title back as well. It had been a good while since I'd had this much alcohol in me.

  “Because I haven't seen him in a week.” She gave me a look that told me that was no excuse. “Okay, I haven't seen him because I'm worried those feelings will overpower my feelings for Justin, and I want to be with Justin. I don't want to be wasting my life waiting for something that will never happen.”

  “I know,” she said and I snorted out loud.

  “Then why did you ask?” We both laughed.

  “Because, I just think you need to tell him. One, it looks bad that you've kept it from him this long, and two…you just gotta.” I nodded and then lay back on the couch, my feet propped up on her lap.

  “I know. Think he'll be mad?”

  “About you keeping it from him? Yeah, but not about you dating Justin. He's gonna be happy for you.”

  I wasn't so sure, but I didn't say that out loud. I agreed he was going to be mad and hurt that I'd kept this from him, but he was going to be mad about Justin as well. Maybe not in the way I'd wanted him to be, because he was in love with me, but because we'd already started sleeping together. Marcus wasn't that kind of guy, and as far as he knew, I wasn't that kind of girl. But apparently, I was.

  I didn't care though. I was an adult. I could do what I wanted and when. Besides, Justin and I were still going, so I wasn't just a one-night stand for him. Who cared when we decided to sleep together really? Whose business was that but ours?

  “Do you think he’ll think I’m a slut?” I sighed, laying my head on the back of the couch and rolling it over to look at her.

  “What?” She gave me a serious look. “Of course he won’t! Just because you’ve slept with Justin already? Please. It’s not like he’s a saint.

  “True,” I chuckled, looking back at the T.V.

  “It’s none of his business anyways. You need to stop thinking it is,” Erica said as she picked a pepperoni off her pizza and popped it in her mouth.

  She sure had a way of being brutally honest when she was intoxicated. Not that she wasn’t honest with me any other time, but she didn’t beat around the bush now.

  What she said may be true, but it still worried me to tell him. I didn’t want him to think less of me, and I had a feeling he would. Marcus wouldn’t sleep with a girl on the first date. At least, I didn’t think he would. I always thought that’s what I wanted, too. But Justin was such a good change, I thought. He was everything Marcus wasn’t, and up until Monday, I seriously thought Marcus was everything. I still thought that about him, but I was really starting to like Justin. I wanted to see where things would go there.

  The movie went off and Erica got up to start cleaning up our mess. I got up to help her, but fell back on my ass on the couch. She started laughing before I’d even registered what I’d done.

  “Maybe we had too much?” she slurred slightly and I giggled.

  “Maybe a little.”

  I stood up more slowly this time and carefully picked up our paper plates and cups and took them to the kitchen. I threw away what needed to be in the trash and then placed our cups in the sink.

  “I don’t feel like cleaning anymore,” I whined, making Erica laugh.

  “We just got started,” she said while she shook her head.

  “Yeah, but that’s boring.”

  “It’s late and you’re drunk. I think it might be time for bed.” I glared at her and she laughed a little harder.

  “Fuddy-duddy,” I called at her as she went back to the living room. I got out my phone and scrolled until I found his name and opened a new message.

  I miss you.

  I was about to hit send when the phone was snatched out of my hand.

  “Hey!” I turned to face Erica and tried to grab my phone, but she held it just out of my reach.

  “No drunk calling or texting. Isn’t that our rule?” She was using her teacher voice on me. I didn’t like it. I thought she was drunk?

  “I was just sending the one and going to bed. That’s it. Give me my phone
back.” I held out my hand and she shook her head.

  “Who were you texting?” She looked down at my phone and sighed. I rolled my eyes.

  “Who do you think? Justin!” She laughed without humor and punched a button on my phone, I assumed deleting the text.

  “Think again.” She handed me my phone with the text app still open to the person I was texting, but the message was gone. “You can thank me later.”

  I had been texting Marcus.

  this girl was going to do me in; I could just feel it. We'd been at the club for about an hour, most of which I spent just watching her dance. It was incredibly sexy to see her moving with the music; the way her body swayed was enough to have me panting like a dog. I'd been standing at the bar for a few minutes, waiting on the bartender to get us our drinks. Another margarita for Amy and water for me.

  I drank occasionally, not much mind you, but sometimes I liked to get out and loosen up. I was driving tonight and, besides, I wanted to really be here with Amy. I had no problem with her drinking a little. She wasn't getting sloppy drunk. She needed to just relax without any judgment from me. I was going to give it to her.

  I grinned as I watched her from where I stood by the bar, dancing with a group of girls I'm sure she just started dancing with because they were there. I could watch her all night without a problem. She was so carefree and fun tonight. She was always fun, but she was letting loose tonight and it was a nice change to see.

  A tap on my shoulder drew my attention from her and I turned to see the bartender holding our drinks. I nodded my thanks as I took them and made my way through the crowd to where Amy was. As soon as she saw me she said something, but I couldn't hear her over the music. She took a few steps away from her dancing buddies to meet me and I handed her margarita to her, which she took with a smile.

  “Thank you!” She had to yell for me to hear her, so I just nodded instead of telling her she was welcome out loud.

  She started sipping her drink and turned her back to me, starting to sway with the music again. I took a big drink of my water and sat it on a nearby table to free my hands. I took a step toward Amy, bringing a hand up to her waist to pull her gently back against me. She continued to move, which only made my pants even tighter than they’d been before. I just hoped my erection wasn’t too obvious, though I knew that was a joke. There was no hiding it.

  I leaned down and pressed my lips against her ear, not just so she could hear me better. I nuzzled her soft skin with my nose for a moment before speaking.

  “Are you having fun?” She giggled and took another drink of her margarita.

  “Yes,” she yelled with a nod.

  I pressed my nose to her neck directly under her ear, breathing her in. She still smelled like the berry lotion she must have put on before I picked her up, but now it was mixed with a light coat of clean sweat. It was intoxicating, really.

  “I'm glad,” I said into her ear before pressing my lips to her skin where I'd just ran my nose along. She took one more drink of her margarita and put the glass on the table I'd put my water down on before turning in my arms to face me.

  “Dance with me,” she said as she pressed herself harder against me, wrapping her arms around my neck. It wasn't a question, more like a demand, and I was happy to oblige.

  She pulled me back out onto the dance floor where she'd been before and started moving with the music. I wasn't a dancer; I didn't do this often, but it didn't seem to deter her in the least bit. I moved when she moved, trying to keep some sort of rhythm. She either didn't mind or was a little too tipsy to care, because she kept going. I had my arms around her waist, holding her close to me, letting her take the lead.

  The song changed to a slow one, but she didn't stop. She just slowed down and tightened her hold on my neck. I squeezed her gently around the waist as I bent slightly to press my lips to her neck. I think I actually felt her shudder. So I kissed her again. Definitely felt it that time. Opening my mouth, I gently grazed her skin with my teeth, holding her even tighter to me when she shuddered more.

  The effect I had on her was enough to almost make me come in my pants right then. She was going to kill me.

  I felt her start to pull away, so I pulled back to look at her. She was beautiful. I let my eyes roam her face slowly, taking in her features as she looked up at me. Her brown eyes popped with the small amount of make-up she wore. She had a little sweat on her brow from all of the dancing. I had just gotten to her lips when she stood up on her toes suddenly and kissed me.

  The kiss started out slow and tender and I couldn't help but deepen it. I craved her taste and her touch. I just craved her. I slid my tongue into her mouth and she met me full swing. Her tongue danced with mine and I gently caressed her mouth, my hands running along the small of her back under her shirt. I fought to keep from grinding into her stomach. That was all I needed, to scare her off with my horniness.

  The song ended, and I pulled away reluctantly, resting my forehead against hers. My eyes were closed and I sensed she was catching her breath as much as I was when she surprised me.

  “I'm winning, Mark.” I opened my eyes and pulled back to look at her, laughing when I saw her smirking up at me.

  “The night is young, Amy.” And with that, I bent down to kiss her again.

  She giggled against my lips and I couldn't help but smile against hers. This time, I wasn’t as cautious when it came to hiding my erection. She reciprocated by pressing her hips harder against mine as I held her on the dance floor.

  I don't know if we'll ever know who won.

  i had just gotten amy into the car and gotten in myself when I looked over to see her resting her head on the back of the seat, looking at me with a smile.

  “What?” I asked as I started the car.

  “I just like looking at you.” I told myself she was just drunk, but I knew she would have probably said something like that anyway.

  She wasn't exactly falling down drunk, but she'd had a few—enough to need a little help getting into the car. I was pleasantly surprised at how ‘drunk Amy’ was acting. Usually people were complete idiots when they drank, which was why it was a scene I usually avoided. But Amy wasn't bad at all, and I didn't mind a bit being with her while she drank. I also knew she didn't drink often, which helped.

  I just grinned in response to her as I pulled out of the club parking lot and headed back in the direction of where she lived. I'd been driving for a few minutes when I felt her hand on mine as it rested on the gear shift. I turned my hand to accept hers in mine and brought it to my lips. I glanced over at her and her head was still lying against the back of the seat, still staring at me with a smile.

  Damn, she was cute.

  I chuckled and looked back toward the road until I heard her groan and looked quickly back over to her, thinking maybe she was getting sick. She was sitting up in her seat now with a worried look on her face.

  “Amy? Are you okay?” She nodded and looked over at me as she squeezed my hand.

  “Please don't take me home. Can we just drive around for a while?” I looked back at the road and then glanced at her with a raised eyebrow. “I don't really want my mom to see me like this.” By this, she must mean drunk, I’d assume.

  “We can go back to my house and hang out if you want.” I flinched a little after I said it. She just suggested we drive around instead of asking me to come to my house. Obviously she didn't want to or she would have right? Now I just sound like a typical guy asking her to go home with me.

  “Are you sure you don't mind? I didn't want to ask…” I looked over at her; she was biting her lip, waiting for my answer. It was a complete relief that she asked. I didn't want her to think I was trying to trick her into going home with me or anything. Not that the thought hadn’t obviously crossed my mine. How could I not think of taking this woman to bed after the night we just had together?

  “Of course I don't mind.” I squeezed her hand to reassure her and she smiled.

  “Thank yo
u.”

  “You don't have to thank me.” She leaned back in her seat and looked out the window for the rest of the drive.

  It didn't take me twenty minutes to get home. Once I pulled into my driveway, I didn't realize I'd subconsciously been worried I'd see Hannah or Erica's car outside. It wouldn't have been strange for them to show up without notice at all and just hang out until I got home. But luckily, my curb was empty.

  I let go of Amy's hand before I got out of the car and went to open her door for her. I smiled when I saw she'd fallen asleep. The alcohol finally did her in, I guess.

  I had every intention of carrying her inside, but when I unbuckled her seat belt, she woke up and grinned at me. She was still a little tipsy.

  “What are you doing, Marcus?” I just looked at her, feeling myself start to smile a little. No one called me Marcus. No one except Hannah and Mrs. Kelley. I almost felt like I was betraying Hannah to admit this, but I kind of liked Amy calling me Marcus. Her voice drew me out of my thoughts though. “Are you trying to cop a feel? Hmm?” I grinned and shook my head.

  “Not this time, princess. Let's get you up.” She put her arm around my shoulder and I lifted her out of the car. “Can you walk or do you want me to carry you?” She giggled and held onto my arm.

  “I can walk, silly. Unless you just want to carry me.” I laughed and helped her walk up to my front door, unlocking it and pushing it wide open for the two of us to make it through together. I led her into the living room and helped her sit down on the couch.

  I went into the kitchen to get her a glass of water. She was going to need to stay hydrated to help with the hangover tomorrow. I walked back into the living room and handed her the glass.

  “Thank you,” she said quietly as she took a sip. “Hey, this is good water.” She smirked up at me and I couldn’t help but laugh.