Torn

by A. M. Wallace

  “You stood there and told me she needed to grow up. You told me you understood how wrong she was in all of this.” She shook her head. “How am I supposed to feel about you telling her to come over?”

  “She needs me.” It was a weak excuse, but it was really all I had at the moment.

  “And there’s an excuse again. I understand she’s hurting and she needs someone right now. I really do. But, she has other friends. What about Erica, huh? Why wouldn’t she talk to her girlfriend about it?” I went to say something, but she wouldn’t let me. “She chose you. She chose you because she knew you’d say yes. And yes, that bothers me. Especially after what happened tonight. If things were okay between the two of you, I might be okay with it. Might. But it’s tonight. And I’m not sticking around to see what happens now.” She pulled her arm from my hand and left the bedroom.

  I followed her into the hallway and toward the front door. When she reached the door, she hesitated with her hand on the doorknob and I stopped, not wanting to push her away even more by getting too close.

  “Amy…” I could hear her sniffle a little before she turned to look at me, sternly at first, and then her expression softened.

  “I’m sorry I can’t be okay with this,” she said before turning around and walking out the door. And I let her.

  All the shit that was happening right now and she apologized to me. What kind of an ass did that make me?

  I walked back into the house and back to my room to throw on some pants and a shirt. Hannah would be here any minute. I tried to push Amy from my mind and focus on Hannah, but that wasn’t going to happen.

  There was a knock at the door so I hurried to answer it. When I opened it, there was Hannah. She was a complete mess. Her make-up was running down her face and her eyes were swollen from crying. My heart broke a little for her.

  I opened my arms and she rushed into them, burying her face in my chest. I pulled her inside and shut the door, trying to soothe her a little. It wasn’t working. I walked her into the living room where we sat on the couch. She didn’t let go of me.

  “Hannah, I’m so sorry.” She cried a little harder, probably drowning out my words.

  “I just…I can’t believe it!” She pulled back and wiped her eyes. “You were right the whole time.” I frowned at her words. I didn’t want to be right about him.

  “Shh, tell me what happened.”

  She retold the story of how she left here and went home to change so she could go surprise him. About how she showed up at his apartment and his girlfriend opened the door. I blinked at that part. What the hell was she talking about? She answered it quickly by telling me that he confessed to this girl that Hannah was just a fling. What the hell?

  “This whole time, I was the girl on the side, Marcus! Me!” She started sobbing again and I just wrapped my arm around her.

  “I’m so sorry, Hannah. He’s a fucking douche who doesn’t deserve you.” She laid her head on my shoulder and continued to sob. I was pissed. It took everything I had not to run out now and beat the shit out of him.

  “But he was so perfect. Who treats the girl on the side that well if he’s just gonna dump her in the end?” She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. “He remembered the important things about me. He actually listened to me. If I was just a piece of ass, why would he have bothered?”

  I had no idea, but I intended to find out. I’d have a little chat with this guy in the next day or two. I only hope his girlfriend dumped his ass and he was alone. He deserved that and much more.

  “I don’t know, Han.” I kissed her hair and then rested my chin on her head.

  We sat like that for the longest time. I just let her cry. She needed to get it all out. Besides, I was plotting about a million and one ways to kill this prick in my head. I rubbed her shoulders as she cried, hoping to provide at least a little comfort.

  “You were right, Marcus. You’re always right,” she cried into my shoulder.

  “Not always. I didn’t want to be right about him, Hannah. I hate that I was right.” She pulled back to look at me.

  “You’re always there for me.” I nodded and she reached up to wipe her eyes.

  “I will always be here for you. Always.” She cried a little harder now, but she was smiling.

  “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she said, grabbing ahold of my hand. I let her.

  “Die, probably. I mean, if I’m being honest,” I replied. I just wanted to keep her smiling. She laughed through the tears that were still falling a little.

  “Probably.” She nodded and looked down at our hands as she intertwined our fingers. “Seriously, though. After all the shit I’ve pulled lately, I can’t believe you’re still here.” She looked back up at me.

  “Hannah, you’re my best friend. We’re supposed to fight sometimes. I will never not be here for you, no matter how mad you make me.” She looked like she was going to cry again. “Please don’t cry.”

  I scooted a little closer to her and wrapped my arms around her. She came willingly and her head went back to my chest. I rubbed her back, resting my cheek on the top of her head. At this moment in time, I could forget about everything that’d happened. This was how Hannah and I should be. There for each other in our times of need.

  “I’m so lucky to have you, Marcus.” She pulled away to look up at me and I smiled making her smile.

  “I think we both got a little lucky here.” She looked down briefly and her hands came up to rest of my chest. She took a deep breath.

  “We’ll always have each other, right?” Her eyes met mine again and I could see the worry there. I nodded, placing my hands over hers on my chest.

  “Always, Han. You’re stuck with me.”

  What happened next happened so fast, I don’t think I could have stopped it even if I had known it would happen. Hannah had me pressed back against the arm of the couch and her lips were instantly on mine. I didn’t kiss her back, but it took me a few seconds to react. I pushed her away, using one of my hands to pull hers from my chest.

  “What was that?” I asked and held her hands away from my body. She looked a little flustered, a mix of confusion and embarrassment.

  “I just…I thought…Marcus, I love you.” Tears were forming in her eyes again. “I have always loved you.” She tried to blink back the tears but they came slowly as she looked me right in the eye. “This could be our chance, Marcus. You and me.” I blinked and jumped up out of my seat when it all sank in.

  I took a couple steps back, rubbing the back of my neck as I looked down at her. I didn’t know what to say. Did she really just admit to having feelings for me? My whole life, I’d dreamed of this day, and when it finally happened, all I could think of was Amy. If this were a month ago, maybe. But not under these circumstances. Hannah only kissed me because she’d been rejected by Justin. I couldn’t be sure her supposed feelings for me were real. Not only that. I wasn’t sure I wanted her feeling that way about me anymore.

  “I think you need to leave,” I said and she stood up, taking a step toward me. “Don’t.” I held up my hand to show her I didn’t want her to come closer right now.

  “But Marcus, I thought…” She didn’t even know how to finish that sentence because she had no idea what she was thinking.

  That made two of us.

  “You thought wrong.”

  there are a lot of people to thank because, without any of you, this wouldn’t have been possible for me. First off, I’d like to thank my family. My husband for being extremely supportive, even though I tend to not follow through with most of my projects. You’ve been my rock through everything, but especially with my writing. Even when you had no idea what I was talking about, you would still take the time to listen and let me vent about what was going on inside my head. Your support means more to me than I can even describe. Your belief that I could make something of myself is what pushed me through all the hard times. I will be forever grateful for that.

  My mom and
grandma, who pushed me to continue when I wanted to quit. My dad who kept telling me that a story about him would sell more than what I was writing haha. My sister-in-law, Jamey, who sent me a text saying, “Well it gave me goosebumps all up my legs reading that. So ill deff read it.” when I sent her the outline of my novel. Her brother Scotty, who helped me with the website (that I still have yet to publish because I’m finicky.) You all have no idea how much you’ve helped me along this journey.

  The friends I call my beta readers; Sarah, Sondra, and Julie. Your input and criticism helped me tremendously. You three were the only ones I allowed to read my baby here before even going to the editors. Sarah, thank you so much for all your help with Hannah’s schooling. Sondra, thank you for being the first to read my book and for printing it out at your place of employment to save me time and money haha! Julie, thank you for helping me put the final touches on this book. I was ready to give up, I felt like there was something missing. You helped me over that hump right before I was supposed to send it to the editors. I owe you all big time. Signed books okay with you?

  To my friends who helped simply by supporting me to no end. Jessica, you’ve been there for me through everything. Your support while writing this book, you offering to add my son to your band of children to give me time to write, everything you’ve done was a huge help. Especially helping me through some personal problems while finishing up. You mean more to me than you know. Stephanie, just by saying you’ll attempt to read this book when you’re not a reader meant a lot to me. Mariah, reading the first half of the book to give me your input is what pushed me to continue. I knew you’d give me your honest opinion, told me you loved it, and I rolled with that. Elizabeth, you helped me with Hannah’s schooling just as much as Sarah did. Without you ladies, I’d have been lost. Kandee, Eulala, and Chelsea Rae… Ladies, your words of encouragement meant the world to me. I was so scared to tell anyone I was writing a book, and the people I’ve named are the only ones who knew throughout the process. I was worried about people telling me how silly it would be or that I’d never get anywhere. I knew once I heard those words, I’d quit. So I kept it a secret. You guys pushed me when I needed it, told me what I needed to hear, and tried to prepare me for the negativity I’m sure to face with publishing my first book. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. This wasn’t possible without you.

  My very first author friend, Rochelle Maya Callen. Wow. I have no words. Seriously, I would not have been able to do any of this without your help. Until you’ve tried to publish or have published a book, you seriously have no idea what all goes into it. That was me. I was completely clueless. There was no way I could have figured out everything I needed to know to do this on my own. Luckily, I’d been a part of your street team, and we’d talked a couple of times and I finally got the nerve to ask you. I was so scared I was going to seem like one of those people who just jump all over you to read their book or mention them on your page. I truly took everything you said to heart and without you, my book would not look as good as it does. You helped me find the right editors, cover designer, interior designer, and even helped me figure out my blurb towards the end. I’ve enjoyed our talks so much, especially the ones that had nothing to do with the book. If I never wrote another book, I’m glad I can say that I’ve made one amazing friend during this entire experience.

  The ladies at Hot Tree Editing; you rock! I was so nervous for your feedback and edits, but everyone was so great about everything. I really appreciate all you did to help make this book happen and I would like to apologize for the fact that I wrote this AFTER the edits were done. Sorry if you see the many edits I’m sure my acknowledgments might require.

  Najla Qamber from Najla Qamber Designs, you are absolutely amazing! When I wasn’t sure how to describe what I wanted with my cover, you still knew exactly what I meant and made it happen! I am absolutely in love with the cover of this book and I can’t wait to work with you more in the future.

  To my other betas that I’ve met throughout this process, you guys are the best. Especially you, Patricia. You have been a star with helping me do whatever I needed to promote this book. Your feedback and your excitement mean the world to me. Not to mention your friendship. Thank you so much.

  To the readers out there, I could never thank you enough for taking the time to read my book, not to mention reading through the acknowledgments. Every single person above has contributed to this book and without any of them, it wouldn’t be what it is right now.

  a.m. wallace was born and raised in southern Ohio. She is currently a stay at home mom to her wonderful son. She and her husband still reside in southern Ohio after a few years of living in east Tennessee (Go Vols!) While her husband is a die-hard Volunteer, A.M will always be a Buckeye. (O-H-I-O!) Thankfully the two teams almost never play one another.

  Her love for reading started at a very young age. The Boxcar Children was where it all started, and she never quit. AR Reading in school only pushed her that much harder to read faster and more advanced books. Her competitiveness came out when there were prizes and “winning” involved. Now, she reads anything and everything in her free time. (When she has free time.)

  After being a stay at home mom for seven months, needing a change that would allow her to continue staying home with her son, she finally decided to pursue her dreams and write her first novel. While watching reruns of The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Handy Manny, and Doc McStuffins in her living room with her seven month old rolling around, the idea behind The Divided Series was born.

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  authoramwallace@gmail.com