Not What You Think

by Melissa Hill

  “Give him some time to get to grips with it all maybe?”

  Dan looked her straight in the eye, and he and Nicola both knew that they were no longer talking about Jamie.

  She looked away, and again there was a slight pause.

  “Bloody Angry Beef!” Dan laughed again at the memory. “God! He really looked like he wanted to thump Jamie there and then. I’ve never seen a man look so upset!”

  Despite herself, she smiled. “Well, as far as I know old Gallagher hasn’t changed a bit.”

  “Well, more power to him, although I’d say it was a very long time before he ate Thai food again – if ever!”

  The two talked some more about mutual friends, carefully skirting around their own circumstances, before eventually they ran out of inconsequential subject matter.

  “Tell me more about Chloe.” Nicola was satisfied she could speak about it so easily.

  Dan looked unsure. “Chloe? Well, she works as a legal secretary at her dad’s firm.”

  “Her dad’s a solicitor?”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh, your mother must be pleased.” Nicola couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice.

  “Actually, she doesn’t know Chloe all that well.”

  “I see.” She waited for Dan to elaborate on this but he didn’t. Instead he reached into his pocket and from his wallet produced a photograph of a stunning blonde.

  Nicola studied the picture for a long moment. Wow.

  “She’s gorgeous,” was all she said.

  Dan laughed. “And doesn’t she just know it!”

  Nicola’s chest tightened. Was she mad? Here she was sitting with Dan after all this time, and she was joking with him about his new wife-to-be! Was that progress, or just downright stupidity?

  Just then, Dan’s mobile shrilled loudly.

  “Hello?” He looked at Nicola, and when he heard the voice on the other end his expression became guarded and his eyes lowered. “Hi.”

  By his tone, Nicola discerned it was Chloe. She looked away.

  “No, I wasn’t at the office. I’m – meeting a client.”

  Nicola marvelled at easily he could lie – still.

  “No, hold on, Chlo . . . just slow down a minute . . . I don’t understand . . . what kind of problem?” From what Nicola could make out, the other woman seemed frantic.

  “What?” Now Dan was agitated. “You’ve got to be kidding me! OK, OK . . . just give me a half an hour or so and I’ll meet you there.” He hung up and then looked at Nicola, his expression weary and apologetic. “I’m so sorry about this, Nic, but I really have to go.”

  “Problems?”

  “Yes.” He rolled his eyes.

  “Oh dear.”

  “Well, look – I really shouldn’t –”

  “Of course you should.” Nicola put her empty mug on the table. “Dan, it was nice seeing you again.”

  Dan hesitated for a second and looked directly at her. “Nic, I really am so sorry.”

  The way he said it, she knew he wasn’t just talking about having to rush off.

  “It’s OK, Dan, really.” She gave him a small smile. “We’ll talk again sometime.”

  “It was really good seeing you again.”

  “You too,” Nicola said quietly, and let the man who had once been the love of her life rush away to meet another woman.

  Chapter 18

  NICOLA HAD SUSPECTED from the very beginning that Shannon Fogarty was after her husband. She and Dan had worked at the same accountancy practice long before Nicola came on the scene, and before Dan and John went into partnership. The trio were close friends, and Shannon made no secret of her dislike of Dan’s new girlfriend.

  Dan had invited Nicola to a company dinner, and John’s wife had tipped her off about Shannon beforehand. Dan and John were leaving directly from the office, and Nicola had arranged to drive to Bray for Carolyn and give her a lift to the restaurant. Nicola had always liked John’s wife, and the two women clicked immediately upon their first meeting. Carolyn was chatty, bubbly and well able to handle John.

  Carolyn had described Shannon in her typical succinct fashion.

  “She’s a fucking cow,” she said, while retouching her lipstick in the car. “Very possessive of her ‘boys’, and she’ll talk to you only if she feels like it. The first time I met her – a year or two ago now – I didn’t know what I had done to offend. She looked at me like I was Myra Hindley!” Carolyn smacked her lips together. “So, I doubt she’ll make you feel very welcome.”

  Nicola grimaced. “Great. We’ve only being going out a few weeks, I don’t know half the people there and already one of them hates me.”

  Carolyn gave a little smile. “Oh, something tells me you’ll be more than a match for our Ms Fogarty. And I for one can’t wait for the sparks to fly!”

  By the time they reached the restaurant in Terenure, Nicola and Carolyn were a little on the late side. John was seated at the table, but the chair beside him was empty and Nicola deduced that Dan must be either at the bar, or in the gents’. Carolyn giddily approached the table, having already had a few glasses of wine while waiting for Nicola to collect her.

  “Hi, everyone!” she beamed. “Nice to see you all again. This is Nicola – the main reason Dan’s been going around with a big fat grin on his face lately.”

  Nicola knew instantly that the tall, but surprisingly young redhead looking daggers at them was the famous Shannon. She could have killed Carolyn. Talk about winding the woman up. John’s wife obviously took a sadistic pleasure in unsettling Shannon and while the people Nicola didn’t already know shook hands with her and introduced themselves, Shannon sat button-lipped and completely ignored her.

  “Hey, girls!” Dan appeared at the table, and put a protective hand on Nicola’s back. “Sorry . . . I was talking to a guy in the gents’.” Then he stood back and looked her up and down. “Wow, you look amazing!”

  Nicola was wearing a white, knee-length silk dress with tiny gold butterflies running diagonally across the bias-cut skirt. The neckline plunged to a sharp ‘v’ emphasising her deep cleavage, and the white looked stunning against her dark colouring, helped of course by the copious amounts of fake tan she had been applying for most of that week.

  “I know – she looks so stylish. I’d kill for a figure like that!” Carolyn, who was considered the epitome of glamour, and was also dressed to the nines, gave Nicola an almost imperceptible wink. “And I’ve never met anyone with such curves.”

  Nicola smiled self-consciously, and took a seat beside Dan.

  Shannon peered across the table at her. “I must be mixing you up with someone else. You’re not the aerobics girl, are you?”

  Nicola pasted a smile onto her face, having already decided that she was not going to like this girl. “Not exactly. I’m a fitness instructor but we do a lot more at the centre than just aerobics.”

  “Oh?” Shannon took a sip from her wine. “You’d never know to look at her, would you, Maurice?” She nudged the quiet, grey-haired man beside her who in truth seemed slightly embarrassed by her comments. “And you seem very different from Dan’s usual type,” she added.

  “You’re right,” Dan laughed, the implied insults going way over his head. “To be honest, I can’t believe my luck. Nicola’s way too good for the likes of me.”

  The others laughed as did Nicola, but daggers were drawn as far as she was concerned. She’d let Shannon get away with her last comment, but only just.

  All throughout dinner the other woman ignored her to the point of extreme rudeness. Twice Nicola asked her to pass the Parmesan, and twice Shannon paid no attention. The younger girl tried a number of times to engage Dan in conversation about past experiences, mutual friends, work – anything, it seemed, that would prevent Nicola from participating. At one stage, when Nicola vacated her seat alongside Dan to visit the ladies’, she returned to find Shannon happily ensconced in her place, her arm linked possessively through her boyfriend’s.


  Nicola had known instantly that Shannon was little competition. She was coarse, loud and bitchy, and whatever looks she might have had were grossly overstated by her garish make-up, and shapeless clothing. Anyway, if Dan was interested in her, Nicola was sure he would have done something about it long before now.

  No, it was the girl’s ill-mannered behaviour that galled her.

  Nicola walked purposefully back to her seat. As he saw her approach. Dan looked up and smiled. True to form, Shannon ignored her and tried to continue her poor attempts at flirtation. Out of the comer of her eye, Nicola could see Carolyn watching them with interest.

  “Shannon, isn’t it?” Nicola said sweetly, as if she hadn’t really noticed her since their earlier conversation. “Hi, I’m Dan’s girlfriend. We haven’t really had a chance to chat properly. Why don’t you pull up a chair and have coffee with us?”

  In one fell swoop, Nicola had marked her territory, made Shannon feel like the outsider and reclaimed her seat – while all the time coming across as being nothing other than friendly. In any other circumstances she would have told the girl exactly what she thought of her, but this was Dan’s night, and these were Dan’s friends. She wasn’t about to make a show of him.

  Shannon, it seemed, held no qualms in that regard.

  “You’re being a bit possessive, aren’t you?” she said, still firmly rooted beside Dan. “He and I are just old friends.”

  “Really? You don’t look that old,” Nicola’s tone was ultra-sweet. “I’d say thirty-four, thirty-five at the most.” Truthfully, Shannon didn’t look a day over twenty.

  The younger girl obviously wasn’t used to being on the other end of a bitchy comment, and couldn’t think of anything in return. Nicola heard a muffled guffaw from behind, and knew that Carolyn was silently applauding her.

  That was only the beginning. Dan gradually became aware of the fact that his girlfriend and close workmate didn’t get on, but most of the time it wasn’t a problem. They rarely met other than at company gatherings, and there hadn’t been too many of those.

  Soon, she and Dan were married and by the time they moved into their apartment in Bray, Nicola had almost forgotten about the dreaded Shannon. Dan and John had been making plans to set up a partnership and go out on their own. John, who already lived in Bray, had already amassed some potential new clients as well as poached others willing to move business to their new practice. It was unethical, but a silver-tongued John had convinced them by promising lower fees and a little ‘tax avoision’. He and Dan were working around the clock to get things moving.

  Then, a few months after their wedding, Shannon began phoning Dan at the apartment at all hours of the morning, whining and crying over this guy and that, expecting him to comfort her.

  “She’s getting desperate,” Carolyn had said, when Nicola complained to her about it. “She knows that Dan’s leaving the company, and she’s pulling out all the stops.”

  “He’s married! Dan’s no longer a free agent. Shouldn’t that scupper her plans a little?”

  Carolyn shrugged. “That one’s imbalanced. There’s no other word for it. Who knows what goes on in her head?”

  “But still Dan can’t see it, Carolyn. He thinks he’s being such a good friend to her and has no idea what a scheming bitch she really is!”

  “Well, whatever you do, don’t let her rattle you. It’s exactly what she wants.”

  For the time being, Nicola had held her counsel and said nothing to Dan. It was true for Carolyn. There was nothing to be gained from arguing about it. Dan was blind to Shannon’s true colours, and Nicola would be the loser if she complained about their closeness. Anyway, Dan didn’t need the hassle what with all the pressure he was under trying to get the new business up and running, while still working in his present job.

  She kept up her good intentions for as long as she could – until one evening Shannon appeared at her front door looking for Dan.

  “He’s still at work, Shannon,” she said shortly from the doorway.

  The younger woman looked pointedly at her watch. “You mean he’s not here?” she looked surprised. “He left the office early this afternoon. I wonder what he’s up to?”

  It took all of Nicola’s strength not to deck the smirking bitch there and then. Who did she think she was, trying to place doubts in her mind about her husband?

  But she refused to rise to the bait. “Shannon, is there anything else you wanted?” she asked in a bored voice.

  “No, not at the moment. But look,” she added with, Nicola thought, a scheming smirk, “tell Dan I was looking for him and I’ll be at home later if he wants me.” She put particular emphasis on the word ‘want’, apparently for Nicola’s benefit.

  Nicola and Dan had the mother of all arguments when he arrived home not long after. Nicola was sick of holding back. This time she told Dan exactly what she thought of his so-called ‘friend’.

  “I’m warning you, Dan, I won’t be walked over in my home. That woman is poison! And I’ll tell you something else, if I ever find out that you have been up to anything with that one, you won’t get the chance again. ‘If he wants me’, my arse! What Lorena Bobbit did will be mild compared to what I’d do to you!”

  Dan was almost afraid to speak. This was their first argument as man and wife, but he was already aware that an angry Nicola could be a very scary prospect. Her face had flushed crimson and she had a dangerous-looking glint in her eye.

  “Nic, there’s no way on earth I would ever be unfaithful or lie to you. Why would I? You’re my wife – my life, for Christ’s sake! Why would I do something like that?”

  “You’d better not!”

  “But I wouldn’t! I don’t know why Shannon would say something like that – really I don’t! We’re friends and she knows full well that I’m totally in love with you. OK, I may have played around a little bit in the past, but that was way before I met you!”

  “It’d bloody better be!”

  Still, Nicola knew almost instinctively that he was telling the truth. Dan was a very good-looking man who attracted female attention wherever he went but, in fairness, he didn’t court it Not to mention the fact that she loved and trusted him. And who didn’t play around in their younger days?

  Dan spoke softly. “Nic, there will never be anyone else but you. OK, you think Shannon might have a bit of a thing for me –”

  “Might?”

  “Seriously, Nic, you’ve got the wrong end of the stick completely. Shannon and I have known one another for a long time, and we’ve never been anything other than friends. Anyway, she has her own problems now, believe me.”

  She said nothing, letting him stew for a while.

  “Nicola, I would never dream of it, not when I have you.”

  “And is it only because you have me that you wouldn’t dream of it, Dan, or does it mean that you would go for Shannon if I wasn’t around?” Nicola knew she sounded juvenile, but she couldn’t help it.

  “No, no, that’s not what I meant.” Dan shook his head from side to side, unsure what to say, afraid he might get himself into even more trouble.

  He looked so forlorn, so serious then, that Nicola couldn’t stay angry with him any longer.

  And fighting with Dan always made her horny.

  She reached across, put a finger on his lips and without another word led him slowly towards their bedroom.

  It was good to get it all out in the open, she thought, kissing him hungrily. Now that Dan knew exactly how Nicola felt about his ‘friend’, and the damage she was trying to inflict on their relationship, surely they wouldn’t see that much more of Shannon Fogarty?

  * * *

  It was that very night, Nicola deduced, that she and Dan had conceived.

  They had been trying for ages, admittedly long before the wedding, neither caring about the mathematics, both hoping to have a baby sooner rather than later.

  Nicola had come off the Pill, and they had been at it at every spare opportunity. She remember
ed one time, Dan called in to her at work on the spur of the moment, and she managed to sneak him into one of the changing-rooms for a quickie.

  At that stage, they couldn’t get enough of one another. But it had taken longer than expected, and Nicola now clearly recalled the excitement she felt when she realised that her period was late. At that stage she had been so conscious of her cycle, the period was conspicuous by its absence. When she went nearly two weeks over, and there was still no sign, Nicola didn’t need the predictor test to tell her that their wish had finally come true.

  It was late summer, not long after their wedding, and she remembered Dan’s nervousness while waiting for the little blue line to change colour.

  “I feel like Homer Simpson,” he had said. “Purple means ‘doh!’, red means ‘wohoo!’.”

  Nicola was so fraught with anticipation that she was unable to answer. When finally the line began to change colour, and continued to darken until it was clearly red, Dan picked her up and spun her around the room.

  “Wohoo! Woohoo!” he shouted.

  “Stop it, you idiot!” Nicola was laughing through her tears, as then Dan laid her on the bed and the two of them made love, both exhilarated by the fact that an extra link was soon to be added to their almost unreal bond.

  Nicola couldn’t remember ever feeling so elated. You’d think that it would be enough that a most wonderful man had out of nowhere walked into her life and swept her off her feet. And now, just when she thought things couldn’t get any better, she was about to become a mother.

  Nicola tried to get her head around it, tried to abandon herself to the pure unadulterated elation she felt; yet deep down inside she couldn’t help feeling afraid. She was afraid that all of this could come crashing down on top of her. What had she done to deserve this bliss? She was nothing special, had done nothing extraordinary in life – in fairness she could be a downright cow from time to time. She was always moaning about her job, was impatient with people, and yet somebody somewhere had seen fit to bestow all this happiness upon her.

  Dan had by now fallen asleep at her side and, as she studied his peaceful expression, Nicola felt a tiny sliver of fear. What would she do if anything ever happened to him? Dan was her life.