Not What You Think

by Melissa Hill

  “See you at two then,” Laura said, after taking the girl’s details and giving her directions to her studio. “My studio,” she repeated out loud to herself. Yes, that sounded good, and much better than a simple old workshop. “This afternoon I am having my first consultation in my studio,” she told a bored-looking Eamonn, who was sitting on the floor across from her, his long tail swinging from side to side.

  Then she grimaced. Now, she had to tackle the rather unpleasant task of telling Helen she couldn’t collect Kerry this afternoon. For all her giving out about Helen earlier, Laura did feel as though she was letting her down. After all, Helen was depending on her. First she dialled Helen’s mobile, and not getting any answer from that, tried her direct line at XL.

  “Hi,” Helen’s sultry tones came through the mouthpiece and Laura idly wondered if sounding like an advertisement for one of these phone-sex lines was good for business. Maybe she should try it herself. It certainly seemed to work for Helen anyway! The woman could buy and sell anyone. She was about to answer, when Helen went on, “You have reached Helen Jackson’s voicemail. Please leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I can.”

  Shit! Not at her desk, what should she do? She couldn’t just leave a message. What if Helen was in a meeting and didn’t get out ’til well after two? Poor Kerry would be in an awful state. No, she couldn’t do that – she’d have to find some way of letting Helen know. Laura bit her lip and mulled over it for a while. Then it hit her. Reception! She could ring reception, find out where Helen was and if she was contactable or, alternatively, leave the message with reception to pass on.

  “Good morning, XL, Paula speaking.”

  “Hello, I was looking to speak to Helen Jackson please,” Laura said pleasantly.

  “I’m sorry, Helen isn’t in today,” Paula said, and Laura sat up in her chair.

  “Isn’t in? Isn’t in the office today, you mean?”

  “No, she isn’t in at all.”

  “So, she’s out sick?” Laura said, more to herself than to the receptionist. But how did Helen get Kerry into the pre-school this morning if she wasn’t well . . . wait, she thought, mind racing, that was even better because there was a chance that Kerry wasn’t in pre-school at all today, so she wouldn’t need to collect her – but then why hadn’t Helen let her know?

  “No, she took an annual leave day. I spoke to her yesterday and promised to hold all her calls ’til tomorrow, so if you’d like to leave your name and number –”

  “What?” Laura said. “She knew she’d be off today?”

  “Well, yes, as far as I know she has a personal matter to attend to today, but I’m sure that someone else here can help you and –”

  “It’s fine, thank you,” Laura said shortly and hung up.

  What the hell was going on? When Helen had called to collect Kerry yesterday there was no mention of a day off or a ‘personal matter’. If Helen had the day off, why the hell didn’t she tell her? Here she was, feeling bad about letting Helen down and all the time Helen didn’t need her because she could collect Kerry herself! And the worst part was, she didn’t even let her know!

  Laura stood up and, trying to clear her mind, began tidying her office space, hoping to make it look a little bit more presentable for her potential client’s visit. Then she stopped dead, remembering something Helen had said yesterday when picking Kerry up. “I might be a bit late collecting her tomorrow, if that’s all right,” she had said, on her way out the door. “The boss has scheduled something last-minute and, knowing him, it could go on for a while. I hope you don’t mind,” she added, with her trademark angelic smile.

  Laura didn’t think she had ever felt so annoyed in her entire life. What the hell was Helen Jackson up to?

  Two hours and umpteen phone-calls later to Helen’s apartment, her mobile, Kerry’s playschool and back again to the XL office, and still Laura was none the wiser. The only thing she knew for sure was that yes, Kerry was in playschool and she had no choice but to go and collect her. She had been lucky in a sense that the school – by now well familiar with Laura – agreed to let her pick up Kerry an hour earlier than normal, so at least she could be back in time for her consultation. But she didn’t feel right about doing that and it was bloody embarrassing having to ask. And after all, she shouldn’t even have to – Helen was the child’s mother after all.

  But she was nervous enough about this meeting without having to worry about whether or not Kerry would be okay by herself in the next room watching TV, or whether she might come in and interrupt them, giving the client a terribly unprofessional first impression.

  As it turned out, the client was lovely and was so impressed by Laura’s designs that she there and then signed up to commission her wedding rings. Laura was more relieved by this than anything else, her annoyance with Helen so great that she just didn’t have the mindset to enjoy her small triumph. By the time the client left late that afternoon, Laura was hassled, weary and very very angry.

  In fact, she was livid. Livid that Helen could lie so easily to her, livid that she would take advantage of her, livid that she was such a bloody soft touch. She was just so sick of it. It was all Laura, do this, Laura, do that, and not one – not one of them offered a word of thanks or anything in return. Making sure once more that Kerry was okay watching TV, Laura went back into her office, slumped down on her chair and put her head in her hands. What was happening to her? Why was she feeling like this? It wasn’t as though this was anything new. She had always been this much of a pushover, hadn’t she? She was always the one people turned to – the one that never said no to anyone.

  Most of the time it didn’t bother her, but these days Laura felt wound up like a tight spring. And lately the spring was being stretched beyond belief. Maybe it was all finally getting to her – the stress of the wedding, the worry of the business, the self-doubt.

  Maybe this was all wrong.

  Well, no more, Laura thought, her mouth set in a firm line. When Helen Jackson deigned to turn up here this evening, boy, was she going to get it!

  “Hey Laura!” Later that evening, Helen sailed into the hallway in a cloud of J’Adore.

  “Where the hell were you today, Helen?” Laura snapped, giving it to her straightaway with both barrels, Kerry safely out of earshot in the kitchen with Neil.

  “What? What do you mean where was I?” Helen stopped short and, Laura noticed, looked a little wary.

  “Well, you weren’t at work,” Laura said, her tone faintly sarcastic, “because I tried to phone you earlier to tell you that something had come up, and I wasn’t available to be your gofer today.”

  “My gofer? I’m sorry, Laura, but I don’t understand. Is this about collecting Kerry from playschool? I spoke to you yesterday and you said –”

  “No, you said, Helen, you said that you would be late collecting Kerry today because you had some meeting or another, yet they knew at work that you were taking a day off!” Laura’s voice shook with anger and her heart pounded. “Isn’t it well for you to be able to take a day off and leave the worry of looking after your child to someone else – someone who actually was working today?”

  “Laura, I’m sorry, really I am but Paul and I had organised this trip and . . .” Helen, stopped short, and her complexion reddened.

  “Paul? Who the hell is Paul?” Laura said frowning, although one look at Helen’s face told her all she needed to know. Paul was obviously some new Romeo she’d hooked up with. She didn’t believe this!

  “Look, he lives in Cork and we haven’t seen one another in a while. I just didn’t think you’d mind. I wasn’t that much later so –”

  “That’s not the point though, is it, Helen? The point is that weeks ago you asked me to do you a favour, and because you’re my friend and you were stuck, I obliged. But it’s not an open-ended favour, Helen. I’m working too, although you don’t seem too concerned about that. If I was working in an office, would you expect me to take time off every day to colle
ct Kerry – would you?”

  “Well no, but-”

  “But nothing. It’s the same thing, Helen. But just because you don’t take me – and this business – seriously, don’t think you can walk all over me. Even worse, now you’re using me to spend time with some guy!”

  “Oh, Laura, that’s not true,” Helen said, putting a hand on her arm. “I promise you. I have been looking for another childminder, really I have. But it’s really difficult to get someone at this time of year . . .” She trailed off, her shoulders slumped. “Look, I’m really, really, sorry, Laura,” she continued, her voice barely a whisper. “I know I’ve been taking advantage of you, and I would have told you about Paul. It’s just . . .” she blushed slightly, “well, it’s early days with us, and I didn’t feel comfortable saying anything before now.”

  “Helen, you did a very dangerous thing today. Forget the fact that I couldn’t contact you because it wasn’t convenient for me to collect her – what if something had happened? What if she got sick or there was an accident or something?”

  “I know, I know, shit . . . I just didn’t . . . I should have thought to leave my mobile on.” Helen bit her lip and looked away, her eyes troubled and upset.

  “I just don’t know, Helen.” Laura gave a deep sigh and all of a sudden felt unbelievably jaded.

  The entire afternoon she had been going over what she was going to say, and how she was going to put Helen in her place, but now that Helen was here, looking truly apologetic and pouring her heart out, she just didn’t have the same resolve. Was it worth it? Was it worth arguing with her friend just because she had had a tough day and Helen had been a little bit late? Kerry was no trouble and, admittedly, everything had worked out fine in the end, what with her getting the commission and everything.

  Being in business was bound to bring some challenges, wasn’t it? And if she couldn’t manage something simple like re-organising her day to suit unusual circumstances, then she wasn’t going to be much of a businesswoman, was she? Oh, sod it, it just wasn’t worth it. She’d give Helen the benefit of the doubt this time . . .

  Sensing that Laura had calmed down somewhat, Helen looked up at her, her beautiful eyes deep and sorrowful. “Laura, I promise I will make it up to you, and I’ll get moving on another childminder first thing in the morning. You know I really appreciate what you’re doing, and I promise you won’t have to mind Kerry for much longer.”

  Silence.

  “Laura?” Helen urged. “I swear.”

  Eventually, Laura sighed again and nodded wearily.

  * * *

  The following Saturday morning, Laura and Nicola drove into town for the dress fitting, accompanied by an unusually sullen Kerry. Apparently, Helen had gone out again with the famous Paul the night before, and had left Kerry at Nicola’s for the night, proclaiming that there was no point in Nicola having to drive all the way to Monkstown to collect her for the fitting the next morning. Better to have Kerry stay there all night.

  “Better for Helen maybe,” Nicola had said grouchily, while collecting Laura at the house. Kerry had gone looking for the cat and was out of earshot. “Ever since she’s met this Paul, the poor child has been shunted from pillar to post. I’ve had her the last two Friday and Saturday nights and I’d say poor Kerry is sick of it.”

  “But she loves staying with you,” Laura said, while at the same time feeling sorry for Kerry. Obviously, Helen was making this new guy her utmost priority.

  “Maybe, but I’m sure she’d like to spend some time with Mummy at the weekends too – she hardly sees her during the week.”

  Nicola sounded put out, Laura thought. She wouldn’t blame her. Even though Kerry was a very well-behaved child, she was still a child and Nicola couldn’t watch her twenty-four hours a day. Since her own argument the other day, she found Helen had been much more appreciative of her help and was actively trying to find a new childminder. But, in the meantime, she was still asking favours of people.

  “I’m going to have to confront her about it soon,” Nicola said grimly. “It’s not good for the poor kid.”

  Laura grimaced. Nicola or Helen disagreeing with anyone was not a pretty sight, let alone with one another. Arguments had occurred between the two a couple of times over the last few years, but thankfully not for a long time now. Unlike Laura, Nicola would go straight for the kill and wouldn’t back down as easily as she had. If they locked horns over Kerry’s welfare, Laura wouldn’t want to be within throwing distance.

  “I still can’t understand why she gave up going to Jo,” Laura mused. Helen had told them little or nothing about that.

  Nicola sniffed. “I’d say Jo copped on to herself and told Helen where to go. It’s a shame because Kerry was mad about her. She went on about Jo nearly as much as about Helen. I think Jo helped her a lot with her speech too.”

  Laura looked at her. “You’re in very bad form today,” she said. Nicola looked tired, as though she hadn’t been sleeping well. Despite her friend’s insistence that meeting Dan last month had had a positive effect on her, Laura worried that she might have been deluding herself. She certainly didn’t look the better for it.

  Nicola exhaled deeply. “It’s Dan,” she said, confirming Laura’s suspicions. “He rang me at work yesterday, wanting to meet up again.”

  Oh dear, Laura thought. What was Dan up to now? “Meet again – why?”

  “He reckons we didn’t get all that much of a chance to talk properly last time, what with his having to leave unexpectedly.”

  “And what do you think?” she asked carefully.

  “To be honest, I don’t see the point. It’s over and done with, Laura. We’ve both got very different lives now, we’re moving on with other people, and we’re both happy with that – well, I am, anyway.”

  Laura paused. “And Dan?”

  “Honestly? I think he just wants us to remain friends. The thing is, I don’t want this causing trouble between Ken and me. He was wary enough about my seeing Dan again in the first place, and I know he wouldn’t be too happy about my meeting him for chats on a regular basis.”

  “You couldn’t blame him though.” Typical Dan, Laura thought, as she settled Kerry in the back seat of Nicola’s Focus. Couldn’t he leave well enough alone?

  Nicola got in front. “I know that, which is why I told Dan no – there’s no point in our meeting up again. But I’m not sure if he’ll leave it at that.” She sighed. “I haven’t told Ken about it, because as far as he’s concerned it’s all over and done with. I hate keeping anything from him, especially this.”

  Laura frowned. “I feel guilty. If it wasn’t for me and my invites –”

  “But it wasn’t your fault they got mixed up,” Nicola said, looking sideways at her. “Anyway, I doubt the invites had anything to do with it. Dan rang me as a result of the Motiv8 magazine feature. He would have contacted me in any case.”

  “I suppose so but, Nic, do you think the fiancée knows about you?” Laura had been wondering about that.

  “About me? Of course! Why wouldn’t she?”

  “Well, did she know that he was meeting with you that day?”

  Nicola shook her head. “Not sure about that, although it might explain why he had to run off so quickly.” She shrugged. “I suppose I wouldn’t blame her though – I wouldn’t be too pleased if it was the other way round.”

  Laura nodded. She wondered idly what Dan’s fiancée made of it all.

  Nicola checked her rear-view mirror. “We’d better get a move on – poor Cathy will have been kidnapped or something by the time we get there.” She gave a broad grin, Laura having earlier relayed the conversation she had with her mother about ‘poor Cathy’ being left waiting all alone in the Big Bad City. “Now, do you have the neckpieces with you, and the earrings?” she asked, starting the engine.

  “Shit, I almost forgot!” Eyes wide, Laura put a hand to her mouth, having momentarily forgotten that Kerry was in the back seat. “Don’t tell your mommy I said tha
t,” she said, and for the first time that morning Kerry giggled.

  Laura raced back to the workshop. She’d spent long enough working on the wedding jewellery to have it all ready for the final fitting – she’d have gone mad if she’d left everything behind.

  “Can I have a peek?” Nicola asked, when she returned.

  “Nope. Not until the dresses are on.” Laura grinned. She had worked especially long and hard on these pieces so that they would be like nothing any of them had ever seen before. Hopefully, the girls would treasure them.

  An hour later, Laura, Nicola, Kerry and a dishevelled Cathy lined up for the final dress fitting at Brid Cassidy Bridal Design.

  “I’ve been here almost an hour!” Cathy had whined, as Laura greeted her outside Easons with a hug. “Where were you?”

  “It’s not easy for me to find a decent parking-space in here,” Nicola said shortly. Cathy reddened and was silent all the way to the bridal boutique.

  Finally, Laura stood before the mirror in full wedding regalia. The dress was ice-white with a fitted bodice, and a slightly flowing chiffon-layered skirt – the hem on the rear dropping low to a short train. It fitted perfectly. Well, perfectly, Laura thought, apart from her spare tyre, but shrink-wrap knickers would soon put paid to that.

  She looked at the others. Kerry, in her violet-coloured flowergirl dress was leaping around in delight, proclaiming that she was a fairy princess. Cathy was studying her reflection and making a determined attempt to suck in her (worryingly, Laura thought) rounding stomach. The boned bodice sat awkwardly on her midriff and the crushed silk skirt strained across her hips. Laura shook her head. Cathy’s supposed marital problems obviously weren’t as bad as Maureen had made out. Cathy either didn’t know, or hadn’t bothered telling Laura, that she was pregnant again. Laura gave her a look that conveyed her dismay, and Cathy had the good grace to look ashamed. Indeed, she didn’t look at all happy about it.

  Neither for that matter, did Brid Cassidy. The bridal designer was today joined by an assistant named Amanda that Laura hadn’t met before, and the other woman, noticing Cathy’s expanding waistline, gave Laura a conspiratorial look. Laura returned the look. She knew that Brid could be temperamental at times, and this new development was not going to go down well – at all.