A Special Relationship

by Yvonne Thomas

  But whatever it was, she still believed that the Lord has it all in control. She believed that this was just another setback, another false start on her road to victory. She had to believe that.

  When she returned to the living room area, Mona was seated in the middle of the sofa smoking a cigarette. And staring at Carrie. It wasn’t until Carrie sat down in the only chair in the room, did she say anything, however. “Well?” she said.

  “Well, what?”

  “What happened, you know what. What did that white man do to you?”

  “He didn’t do anything to me,” Carrie said resentfully. “Why would you say something like that?”

  “Why you think? You come here looking all dejected and sad, like you done lost your best friend, and you’re telling me it had nothing to do with white boy?” Mona placed her cigarette in her mouth and began putting on a pair of pantyhose. “Don’t even try me like that.”

  Carrie exhaled. Her sister, whom she was asking again to help her out, did deserve an explanation. “He’s helping somebody out, so I had to move.”

  “Who’s he helping?”

  “Somebody. You don’t know her.”

  “Her? You mean to tell me he moved a female up in there and kicked you out?”

  “No. I mean, yes. But it’s not like you mean. It’s his ex-wife.”

  Mona smiled and then laughed. “His ex. . . Girl you got to be jiving. He kicked you to the curb so he could snatch back up an ex?”

  “She’s in a wheelchair, Po.”

  “So? What that got to do with it? Did he put her in that wheelchair?”

  “No. Of course not.”

  “Then that ain’t got nothing to do with it. He wanted her, that’s why he took her back. White woman too, ain’t she?”

  “Yes, she’s white, but that doesn’t have anything to do with this.”

  “Sure, it don’t.”

  “It doesn’t!” Carrie said defensively. “Besides, he doesn’t love her anymore. He just feels he has to help her.”

  “Oh, I’m sure he does. And how does he repay you? He put you in a cab and send you on your way.”

  “He drove me to an apartment he has in town, for your information. He gave me the key and expects me to stay there.”

  This surprised Mona. “Oh really? Then why ain’t you there? I’m sure it’s more high class than this.”

  Carrie shook her head. “I’m getting my own thing,” she said. “I’m going to stand on my own two feet.”

  “But you’re working though?”

  Carrie hesitated. “He hasn’t fired me, no, but I don’t see how I can continue at Dyson. Not with all this going on.”

  “All what going on? Him screwing his wife?”

  “His ex-wife and he’s not screw. . . he’s not doing that with her. He’s just helping her out, Popena, I told you.”

  “Sure you told me. Just like he told you. But I don’t believe it and you’s a fool if you do.”

  “Whatever.”

  “Whatever whatever. What the hell ever. I’m just trying to school your little sanctified butt. You need to wake up, girl. See these white folks for what they are.” Then she paused, staring at her sister. Seeing an opening. “Why don’t you come to work with me.”

  “I told you I’m not stripping for—”

  “Ain’t nobody said nothing about stripping.” She hesitated, trying to think it up as she went along, but also trying to sound sincere. “Dooney needs a cashier for real. I know you was doing that in Attapulgus.”

  “A cashier?”

  “Yeah. And you know no cashier don’t be hanging off of no poles. They’re strictly legit. Can get tips too.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yeah.” Carrie kept staring at her. “What, you don’t believe me? Come tonight and see. Dooney will hire you on the spot.”

  “As cashier and nothing else?”

  “As cashier and nothing else.”

  Carrie thought about this. She didn’t expect a break so quickly. But she need a fast break. She needed to get what she had to get so that she can not only get out of Dodge with the quickness, but stop thinking about why she was back in Dodge in the first place.

  “Okay,” she said, just like she said it to Robert in Maryland. Just a word. Just like she said it to him again not an hour ago, when he left her at his condo. As soon as he left, as soon as he kissed her on the lips and went back to his real residence and his ex-wife, she couldn’t get away from that condo fast enough. His ex-wife, he had said when they were still in Maryland, didn’t play second fiddle to anybody. But Carrie kept getting the feeling that the only reason Robert even offered for her to stay at his “second” residence, at his condo, was because he didn’t believe the same about her. She’d play second, third, or fourth fiddle, if she had to, his actions seemed to say. And that, more than anything, was what was eating her alive.

  TWENTY-FOUR

  Nearly two weeks later, Robert returned to Dyson. He had been spending time with Gloria, getting her re-acclimated to life in Florida, making his home more wheelchair assessable. He worked from home during the days, and he and Gloria had long conversations in the evenings. She was worried about Ashley, whom she believes is experimenting with drugs, and she was still upset that Ashley refused to return to Florida with her. Robert was turned off when Gloria told the child that she should be with her “parents,” as if the fact that Paul, not Robert, was Ashley’s father suddenly didn’t matter. But he put up with it. Gloria had been through hell, from what she had told him, and he wasn’t about to add to her distress.

  But what about Carrie, he kept saying to himself. He had taken her to his condo and left her there, giving her the keys to the place and to one of his cars, his BMW. He wanted her to drive it to work and anywhere else she pleased. He also wanted to give her cash, but she wouldn’t take it. She, in fact, was the only woman he’d ever met who never seemed to want anything from him, although he wanted to give her more than he’d ever wanted to give any other woman. And when Gloria was back on her feet, he was determined to prove how much he truly loved Carrie Banks, because he truly loved her. Everything about her. And he was going to marry her.

  But right now he had to care for Gloria. He had told Carrie so and Carrie said that she fully understood. He knew that she would. He promised to get in touch with her soon, after he’d gotten Gloria fully settled, and today was that day. He felt it would have been too awkward for Carrie to see him at work every day when his invalid ex-wife was at home alone. That was why he worked from home. But now, with a new merger ready to be finalized, he came into the office. For the first time in nearly two weeks.

  “You look different,” Marva Cox said as she followed him into his office. Robert smiled.

  “Different how? Good I hope.”

  “Tired. Worn out. Drained.”

  Robert looked at her as he sat his briefcase on his desk. “You’re serious? I haven’t been working that hard.”

  “You been doing something. And it hasn’t been agreeing with you.”

  Robert hesitated. His life with Gloria had changed him somewhat. He felt as if he was living something akin to a lie. He was helping this woman, he was doing all he could for this woman, but in truth he couldn’t stand the woman. She had hurt him so completely, with her lies and her arrogance, that he still held a bitter taste in his mouth for her. And even in the evenings, when they’d sit around and talk, he felt a tinge of anger seep through him over and over. He could have been sitting around talking with Carrie. Instead, he was with Gloria. Gloria had the stage again. And why did he feel so obligated anyhow? He never hurt her, yet she devastated him. But there was something in him, something he couldn’t shake, that wouldn’t allow him to take a woman he had loved and was married to for nearly twenty years, and discard like trash. She had discarded him as if he was something less than trash, but he didn’t have it in him to return the harshness.

  “Anyway,” he said to Marva, to steer the conversation differently, “yo
u actually look beautiful.”

  “Oh, go on.”

  “You’ll give any woman around Dyson a run for her money.”

  Marva shook her head. “You’ve been drinking too much illusion juice. I like the mean, grumpy old Robert instead.”

  Robert laughed. “Just get those Clayton proposes ready, will you? And tell Steinman I’d like to meet with him in about an hour or so. We need to go over the Bayfront account.”

  “Will do.”

  “And where’s Carrie? Tell her to come in here for a minute, please.” This was the real message. This was the part of the day Robert couldn’t wait to begin. The day he’d be able to feast his eyes on his lady again. Marva, however, only stared at him.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked her.

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  Robert hesitated, nervousness creeping in. “Why would you think I was kidding? Isn’t Carrie here?”

  “Robert, Carrie Banks hasn’t been back since y’all went to Maryland. She never came back.”

  It was Robert’s time to stare at Marva. He was terrified. “What do you mean?”

  “Just what I said. She called in and said she wouldn’t be back. Thanked me for all of my help. I thought you knew—”

  Robert began shaking his head. “No,” he said. “No, I didn’t.”

  “Are you all right?”

  “Yes, I’m . . . Did she say why—”

  “She said what I just said. Nothing more. And I didn’t ask more. I just assumed, since you were back with Gloria, that— ”

  Robert looked at Marva. “I’m not back with Gloria. I’m just helping her out. She’s in a wheelchair.”

  “She’s in a wheelchair and?”

  “And that’s why I’m helping her out.”

  Marva shook her head. “I never took you for a chump, Robert.”

  Robert frowned. “What?”

  “You told Carrie that? That you was helping out Gloria because she was wheelchair bound?”

  “Yes, that’s what I told her. That’s the truth.”

  “And you expected her to believe that truth?”

  “Marva, what are you talking about?”

  “You’re helping Gloria because you want to help Gloria. Wheelchair or no wheelchair, you jumped at the chance. Not because of no pity. It’s because you wanted to see if it could happen again.”

  “If what could happen again?”

  “If y’all could recapture the magic of your marriage before the lies and deceit. At least, before you knew about them. That’s what this is about. That’s why you stayed away from Dyson. That’s why you ran that poor child out of your house and put her up in your love shack.”

  “I don’t have a love shack.”

  “Whatever you wanna call it. You was treating Gloria like she was your queen and Carrie like she was your slut. Your whore. Your mistress on the side.”

  Robert couldn’t believe what Marva was saying. How could she believe that? He loved Carrie. “I love Carrie,” he blurted out. “How could you say such horrible things? I could never treat Carrie that way.”

  “Yes, you could,” Marva said with confidence, “because that’s exactly what you’re doing. And one thing about Carrie Banks that I like, she don’t compromise her integrity for no man. She’s a true Christian woman. Best you leave her alone, I think.”

  Robert stood dumbstruck. What has he done, he thought. He looked at Marva. Marva shook her head.

  “I never took you for that kind of man, Robert.”

  Robert hated asking it, but he had to. “What kind of man?”

  “The kind that hedges his bets,” Marva said, and left the office.

  Robert could hardly move. And when he went to sit down, he almost missed his chair. Was that why he so willingly helped Gloria? Was a part of him still missing her, still attempting to recapture what was a lie to begin with? Had he sacrificed Carrie for the sake of wanting it all, or hedging his bets, as Marva called it? If Gloria didn’t work out, there was good ol’ Carrie waiting patiently for him? But only she wasn’t waiting for him. Because she, unlike him, knew exactly what was going on all along.

  TWENTY-FIVE

  Later that night Robert parked his Cadillac Escalade across the street from Mona Banks apartment building without a game plan. All he knew was that he had to see Carrie. He had wanted to get out and climb the stairs to the apartment himself, but he knew that Carrie’s sister would only give him grief and Carrie might not even want to see him. He hurried to his condo earlier today as soon as Marva had told him that Carrie had quit, as soon as he had phoned the residence and got no answer, and, sure enough, there was no sign that Carrie had spent any appreciable time there. She more than likely had left after he had left, when all along he had thought she was safely in place. She even left his BMW parked in its parking space, along with the keys on the dining room table. She had made and meant to have made a clean break, Robert thought, his heart breaking.

  And he couldn’t get her out of his mind. Had he abused her as Marva had indicated? Had he used her as a back-up should his reconciliation with Gloria failed? It was a horrible thought, one he still could not believe he’d have attempted. But by bringing Gloria back into his world, he had tried something.

  He sat up from his slump position in his SUV when the door to Mona’s apartment building sprung open. Carrie, her sister, and some muscular, bald-headed man came out of the apartment. Robert’s heart lurched at the sight of Carrie and he immediately, without thinking, got out of his SUV and hurried across the street toward her.

  Carrie was following Mona and Dooney to Dooney’s car so that they could go to work that night. So far they had kept their word, since Dooney needed an honest cashier, and she was able to do her job without any harassment. But she hated the job. She hated the environment. And every day she continued to search endlessly for a better opportunity. But she was saving every dime she made.

  “Carrie,” a strained voice said and as soon as Carrie looked across the street and saw Robert approaching her, she had to blink twice. It had been two weeks and he had not even tried to reach her. She had assumed he had moved on. With his ex-wife.

  Carrie was about to respond to him, but Mona got in front of her. “What do you want?” she said to Robert.

  “Hey, ain’t that the dude that was in my club that night?” Dooney asked.

  “That’s him,” Mona said. “She don’t wanna see you,” she said to Robert.

  Robert made his way up to the threesome, but kept his eyes on Carrie. “Carrie, I need to talk with you,” he said, trying his best to contain his desperation.

  “She ain’t got nothing to say to you,” Mona said.

  “I have to get to work, Robert,” Carrie said, to avoid any confrontations.

  “Work where?” he asked, unable to suppress his fear. “With her?”

  “Yeah, with me!” Mona interrupted angrily. “What’s it to you?”

  Robert took Carrie by the arm. No way was his woman working in a joint like Simms. “You’re coming with me,” he said, but Mona snatched Carrie’s arm away from him.

  “She ain’t coming no-where with you! You better go home to your cripple wife,” she added, and Dooney laughed.

  “Y’all get in the car,” Dooney said and got in himself.

  “Come on, Carrie,” Mona said, pushing her sister toward the car, too. “Let’s go.”

  Carrie looked at Robert, at the hurt in his eyes, but she left anyway. He’d made his choice. And although he may not have realized it at the time, she wasn’t playing second fiddle, either.

  She got in Dooney’s car and they left.

  Robert drove home in a daze. Carrie seemed so devastated by what he’d done that it devastated him. He had no idea that he was hurting her. He had no idea! He thought she’d understand. He thought she’d allow him time to help his ex-wife get back on her feet, and then they could begin their life together unencumbered. He thought she understood that.

  But would he? Wo
uld he have understood it if the shoe was on the other foot? What if Carrie brought some ex-lover of hers home one day, and kicked him out. Would he sit quietly in the corner and let her? Of course not. Not if he wanted to keep his self-respect.

  Then why in the world had he ever expected her to?

  It was nearly eleven by the time he made it home. He had told Gloria that he was going to stay the night at his apartment in town because he had to meet with some people over dinner and would not feel like the drive out to Ponte Vedra.

  He didn’t know why he had told her that, since it was a lie. But he guess he had hoped that he’d be spending tonight with Carrie in that apartment. And now that Carrie wasn’t going to be there, had gone on with her life in a way that frightened him, he couldn’t bear being in that condo alone.

  He got out of his SUV and walked slowly around the back of his home. The lights were on, which they always were, but he was surprised to see the kitchen lights on also. And when he walked through the French doors that led into the kitchen, surprised was not the word. He was floored.

  Gloria, his crippled ex-wife, was standing, standing at the drain board pouring herself a glass of water. Robert looked around, for her wheelchair, and didn’t see it.

  “Gloria?” he said, astounded.

  Gloria turned around so fast that her glass flew from her hand. She was easily mortified. “Robert,” she said, her voice shaking, “I thought you said, what are you doing here?” She immediately began looking around for her wheelchair.

  “What you say, babe?” another voice, a male’s voice, said as he entered into the kitchen wearing, of all things, one of Robert’s bathrobes. When the male saw Robert, he stopped in tracks.

  “Robert?” he said, himself astounded.

  Robert shook his head. What a fool he’d been. “If it ain’t good ol’ Paul Hathaway.”

  “It’s not what you think,” Gloria quickly interjected. “He came over just tonight, to see you. He wanted to know if you’d heard from me, isn’t that right, Paul? So he came by. I was so shocked to see him that I flew from my wheelchair. I just stood up. The shock did it, Robert. It made me stand up. And now I can walk! Can believe it? It’s a miracle, Robert!”