Surrounded by Pleasure

by Mandy Harbin

  She started when Mikaela walked into the room. Nope, no dream. Krista was dreadfully awake. Oh, God, she was going to the funny farm.

  “Don’t look at me all scared like, girl. I’m still the same person I was yesterday. I just have a natural fur coat that I didn’t have to skin another animal for or pay beaucoup bucks to get.”

  Krista laughed nervously. Oh, Jesus, it was real. They really turned into animals. She couldn’t wrap her head around that knowledge, though. Mikaela looked exactly the same, yet she wasn’t. She just wasn’t.

  Mikaela sighed, walking slowly toward Krista as if trying to corner a skittish cat. Cat. She giggled manically. Would she ever think of cats again and not freak the hell out?

  “Ooookay, laughing’s better than crying,” Mikaela said, easing down onto the couch.

  Krista laughed for several more seconds before trying to catch her breath. She wiped her eyes. “If I don’t laugh, I think I’ll scream.”

  “Fair enough. I promised Toby I’d let him explain everything to you. I just wanted to talk to you first. Make sure you’re okay. I know this is quite a shocker.”

  “No shit.”

  “Um.” Mikaela played with her hands as she looked down, and Krista frowned, never once remembering seeing Mikaela so nervous. “Look, I’m going to leave all the shifting-into-cougar stuff to Toby—”

  “Cougars? I thought they had black fur.”

  Mikaela smiled. “Only some do, if they live deep enough in the rainforest. Toby and his brothers are mountain lion shifters.” She took a deep breath then squared her shoulders. “Anyway, what I will tell you is I wasn’t one until I mated with Josh. You see, they have this strong mating instinct that drives them to mate with any available female. The thing is that instinct is so uncontrolled that they could force a mating. When that happens, the newly turned female attacks back. Then there’s this fight-to-the-death thing. Clearly messy.” She waved her hand. “I—”

  “Oh. My. God. That’s why you wanted me to lie. If I came out here and they knew I didn’t have a boyfriend—”

  “Shhh!” Mikaela swatted her leg. “Not so loud.”

  “Fine,” Krista gritted through a whisper. “If they knew the truth, then you’re telling me Toby would’ve attacked me, turned me into a mountain lion, and then I would’ve fought him, and we would’ve killed each other? That’s insane!”

  “No, honey.” Mikaela’s eyes were sad. “What I’m telling you is if they knew the truth, every single one of them would’ve tried to rape you, would’ve forced you into a life you didn’t want, and you would’ve been so outraged, you would’ve attacked as soon as you were strong enough to fight back.”

  Krista blanched. “What the hell?” But there was no power in her words. “W-Why did you ask me to come out here to help you if you knew the dangers?”

  Mikaela shrugged. “I like you. I love them. You seemed so lonely, and I just wanted to try to put a little spice in your life while seeing if it was possible for Josh’s brothers to find a mate and live through it like he did.”

  “So you, what? Tried to set me up with your feline family? You had no right. No. Right. To control my life like that.”

  Mikaela nodded. “I understand you’re angry, but it’s not like I tried to arrange a marriage for you. If you didn’t hit it off with one of the guys, then no harm done. If you did and I was able to bring two people together who wouldn’t ordinarily meet, then it was a risk I was willing to take.”

  “My death was a risk you were willing to take?” Krista asked incredulously.

  “Oh, please. Don’t be so dramatic. If you kept up with the story, then no harm done. And now you know how important it is to keep the secret. If you want to come clean with Toby, do it after you leave.”

  Krista sighed. What the hell was she going to do about Toby? She couldn’t think about him specifically right now. It was easier to generalize this situation.

  “So, they can never leave? I mean if they attack unattached women, then they’re basically stuck here.”

  “Yeah. They’re stuck, which is why I wanted to help.”

  Okay, Krista could see that, but she refused to acknowledge it based on principle. She was still mad at Mikaela for being deceitful, especially since they’d become friends over the last month. She’d never been this close to another woman, not even her sister—

  “Ariel,” Krista mumbled.

  “Huh?”

  “My sister. She’s a scientist. I wonder if she could formulate something that’d subdue the part of the brain that controlled rage or passion or whatever it is that triggers the need to attack available women. If the guys had access to something like that, they wouldn’t be prisoners of this land.”

  Mikaela’s eyes sparkled. “That’s a great idea. Only. Um, can she be trusted with this kind of information? This is a major family secret. If the wrong people got wind of this—”

  “She’s a professional, Mikaela. If it’d make you feel better, we could draw up a contract outlining the penalties for divulging this kind of information.”

  “I knew you were a smart cookie.” She smiled but then flinched. “What about her relationship status? It’d be easier if she were actually involved with someone. One less thing to worry about, you know?”

  Krista shook her head. “No need to worry about that. She married Will, her high-school sweetheart. They’re the kind of couple that is so lovey-dovey you wanna gag.”

  “Good. Call her, see when she can meet. I’d like to get started on this as soon as possible.”

  “Okay.” Krista pulled out her cell phone and started dialing her sister’s number. Focusing on a project was just the diversion she needed right now.

  “You’re taking this much better than I thought you would.”

  “Oh, I’m still pissed at you for not living by the girlfriend code and providing full disclosure, but if I think about this clinically, I don’t have to accept it. Not yet.”

  Not until she talked to Toby. And she wasn’t sure she was ready for that. Talking to him would make everything more real. Denial was much more to her liking.

  Her sister didn’t answer, so Krista left a message, stating she needed her help professionally.

  After Krista got off the phone, she stood. She might not be ready to confront Toby, but she had a feeling she didn’t have a choice.

  She was in love with him, but she didn’t really know him at all. What did that say about her feelings?

  She was scared to find out.

  Chapter Eight

  Toby paced in front of the couch at his cabin—the place where he’d shared his life with Krista for the past month. God, he didn’t want to lose her now. He still had almost two weeks with her, and he needed every second of every day of her time remaining here to get his fill of her, knowing deep down he never would, but he was unable to help himself. He loved her. He wanted her. He knew it was wrong, but that didn’t matter. Her happiness was now his. Her pain his. And the look on her face when she saw the scene unfold, realized what was happening, it was like a thousand daggers piercing his heart. He never wanted her to be afraid, to be hurt in any way, but in that moment he’d destroyed her confidence, her trust.

  Maybe it was for the best. It wasn’t like he could have her. Maybe she needed to see him for what he truly was. From the look in her eyes, she wouldn’t accept easily. If he loved her as much as he believed he did, he would push her away, make her hate him so it’d be easier on her to move on with her life. But he wasn’t that strong.

  God, he didn’t know what to do, and grinding a path into the hardwood as he paced didn’t seem to be helping one bit.

  He heard the front door open and spun around. “Krista,” he breathed. She looked so lost, and he was frozen in place, battling the urge to run to her, unable to decide if she needed immediate comfort or space. She stared at him wearily, and he fucking hated it. “Baby—”

  “Stop.” Her hand flew up to cut him off. “Just explain to me what the hell is g
oing on. All Mikaela said was that you’re stuck here because of some lethal instinct to mate with available women and figured I would be safe with a boyfriend. But she didn’t explain anything else.”

  “I.” The catch in his throat made him stop and clear it. “I think you should sit down. This might take a while.”

  She pursed her lips as she stared at him. After several seconds, she nodded and walked toward him; she sat on the opposite side of the couch from where he was standing. He sighed before sitting down, keeping the distance she’d put between them.

  “We’re mountain lion shifters through my father’s side of the family,” he said slowly, starting the dreadful conversation. “Or at least we assume it’s a family trait since his parents died before he could ever learn the truth.”

  “And poof he just changed one day out of the blue?”

  “Er, you’d have to ask him. We’ve tried, but he’s quiet about his past. Only saying he was lucky our mother would have him, and that was that.” He shrugged.

  She nodded, looking away before making eye contact again. He didn’t interrupt. Instead, he preferred to let her set the pace. “So, you’ve always been here. Never leaving this land?”

  “Um, no. My brothers and I used to go to a public school. We were okay around females until we hit puberty. One-by-one, my parents took us out of school, not wanting to pull us all out at the same time. They wanted us to live a normal life as long as possible, so as soon as one of us started changing, they yanked that person out. Eric—he was the youngest—had the hardest time letting go. He stayed in touch with all his friends, which made it difficult to explain why he couldn’t be around them ever again, but somehow Eric worked around that.”

  The few seconds of silence stretched into minutes as he watched and waited for her to say something again. It was agonizing, but he forced himself not to grovel at her feet, begging her to stay, or to put up emotional walls and ask her to leave. He didn’t want her to hate him, and he feared there was no way around that.

  “I don’t even know what to say, Toby. This is so unbelievable. I mean, I know it’s true. I saw it with my own eyes, but I’m having a really hard time wrapping my head around it.”

  He blew out a slow breath as he looked straight ahead. It was easier if he didn’t look at her. “I know this is hard for you.” What else could he say? Please don’t go? Please accept me for who I am? Please don’t accept me and run away now? Nothing felt right.

  “So, what made you decide to try sleeping with attached women?”

  “We used to have a tutor who was married. A little old thing, but married. And Eric got to thinking maybe we could have female companionship if the lady in question was unavailable. I mean, we didn’t try attacking our mother or our tutor. So he tried it, and it worked. Soon we’d developed online relationships with swingers. Dad built these cabins, so we’d have a place to fuck without being on top of each other. For a while it worked. Until one of the regulars Eric fucked came out here and told him she’d gotten divorced. He turned her, and they killed each other. We stopped bringing women around after that.” He dropped his head into his hands and rubbed his face. He felt so cheap telling the woman he loved he used to bring women out here just to fuck without any emotional attachment.

  “I-I think I get it.”

  His head snapped up. How the hell could she get it when he didn’t even get it? Whatever the hell it was. “Care to explain that to me?” he snapped.

  She frowned at him. “I just understand your dilemma.”

  “My dilemma? Jesus, Krista, being a shifter is more than a dilemma. It’s my life!”

  “Okay, maybe that was the wrong word,” she said quickly, throwing her hands up in placation. He could see her eyes working, as if she were thinking hard about something. “But it’s not like you’d ever hurt me.”

  “Did you not just hear what I said about Eric? It can happen.” Why did she not understand the dangers involved here?

  She narrowed her eyes and put one hand on her hip. “I’ve been living with you for the past month, Toby. I’m not scared of you.” She hesitated after saying that as if she’d just realized the truth of that herself.

  He needed to coddle her and reassure her he would never hurt her. Even if his heart and his brain were fighting over the right thing to do, he knew that to be true. Hell, he’d put himself in danger and gladly die if it meant her safety.

  “And I have a boyfriend.”

  Something inside him snapped. All the wavering he’d done on what was right or wrong and what he should do about her was now irrelevant. She was his. His! How dare she consider letting another man have her. “Yet here you are with me,” he growled as he shot to his feet.

  Her eyes got really big as she braced both hands on the couch beside her thighs. Her beautiful thighs she’d wrapped around his body nightly over the last month.

  “Toby,” she squeaked, but it was too late. He was too far gone.

  He grabbed her, hauled her to her feet, spun her around, and pinned her to the wall. “C’mon, baby. You said you weren’t scared of me.”

  “I-I’m not.”

  “You don’t sound very convincing,” he taunted. He leaned down and kissed her neck gently as he grinded himself roughly against her. “If you love your boyfriend so much, why did you let me fuck you in every position? Take your virginity, for Christ’s sake?”

  “I, um, T-Toby, why are you doing this?”

  He bit her shoulder hard, not enough to break the skin but enough to leave a mark of possession, and she cried out. “Because you’re mine, and you seemed to have forgotten that.”

  “No, I haven’t,” she panted. She squeezed his shoulders, but he wasn’t sure if she was trying to push him away or pull him closer.

  He jumped back, putting some much needed distance between them, and pointed angrily at her. “Then don’t fucking bring up that man again!”

  He watched her swallow convulsively, and she finally nodded.

  “You should leave,” he gritted. He needed space before he did something he’d regret, like mate with her regardless of her boyfriend.

  She shook her head. “I-I think we still have a lot to talk about.”

  He shut his eyes, running his hands through his hair. Adrenaline was still rushing through his veins at the thought of another man touching her, possessing her, and he felt as if no relief was coming. He was falling deeper into the abyss.

  “If you stay, we won’t be talking.”

  He pinned her with a stare, clenched his jaw, and fisted his hands at his sides, all in an attempt to find some shred of control to cling to.

  He watched her grasp the hem of her shirt, working it up, solidifying her decision, and reality seemed to have suddenly slowed.

  “Krista,” he said when he finally managed to find his voice. “I’m serious. You’d better be sure because I can’t be gentle. Not now. Not when I have to think about you being with—” He cut off with a roar of frustration.

  “Come here, Toby.”

  How she found the strength and conviction to order him like that he didn’t know, but he wasn’t in the right mind to figure it out either.

  He started toward her and she backed away slowly, heading toward the alcove with the bed. He stalked her, enjoying the slow striptease she was giving him with each removal of her clothing. He followed her example and hastily removed his clothes. By the time they reached the bed they were both naked.

  “You’re fucking mine, Krista. You got that?”

  She nodded as her legs finally hit the side of the bed, but he didn’t let her lie down. He grabbed her, spun her around, and pushed her front up against the wall, his chest melding with her back.

  “Last warning,” he purred into her ear. She rubbed her ass against his thick erection in response, and he groaned. “You little tease. I’m going to remind you just who you belong to.”

  He shoved his leg between hers and reached around the front of her. He slid his finger into her folds, finding
her drenched in her honey. “You’re wet for me. Me, Krista,” he said into her ear as he grabbed his cock and entered her in one quick thrust. She gasped at the sudden intrusion, and he slid his other hand around to pinch and pluck at her nipples while he fingered her clit and pounded into her without pausing.

  He fucked her hard, harder than he’d ever taken her, but he couldn’t seem to ease up. He had to mark her, brand her. As he plowed into her, her hands scrabbled for purchase on the wooden walls, and her whimpering sounds forced him to take her even harder. Still fingering her relentlessly, he stopped torturing her nipples with his other hand and shoved it into her hair, grabbing it and forcing her to expose her neck. His fangs slid out, and he wanted to fucking take her, make her his for all eternity.

  “Mine! You’re fucking mine, Krista,” he growled into her ear, shafting into her so hard and fast his balls were drawing up, a burning sensation igniting in his lower back, his stomach, his whole damn lower body.

  She whimpered as her pussy started fisting around his cock.

  “Say it! I wanna hear you say it.”

  “Yours,” she cried out. “I’m yours, Toby.”

  He licked her neck, and she screamed as an orgasm claimed her. Feeling her sweet little pussy grip his cock so painfully hard was his breaking point. He roared a totally animalistic feline sound as his balls drew up and he came in her, pumping until he was spent.

  He slumped against her, exhausted, and tried to catch his breath, his muscles trembling from the adrenaline rush and the energy he’d just expended. Upon realizing he was probably crushing her, he eased back, and his cock slipped out.

  “Shit,” he breathed, seeing his seed trickle down her thigh. He’d taken her bare. He’d never done that before. Marking a woman on the inside like that was one way to make his mountain lion damn-near impossible to suppress. But that wasn’t what caused the crushing mortification he suddenly felt as he watched the evidence of his taking.

  Blood.

  It was mixed with his semen. He’d taken her so hard he’d hurt her. All his musing about never wanting to cause her any harm didn’t matter. He was a fraud. A dangerous, evil fraud.