‘That’s very true. Normally we treat people in the aftermath of a natural disaster. Obviously, they’re traumatised by what they’ve been through but there’s a kind of acceptance because what happened was beyond their control. It’s very different in this instance.’
‘There must be people who are trained to deal with this type of situation, though,’ she suggested, doing her best to keep the conversation rolling because she sensed it was what he wanted.
‘I’m sure there are. The armed services have counsellors so maybe we can get some help from them. They would know all about the problems specific to people who’ve been living in a war zone.’
Kasey nodded, wishing she could think of something erudite to say on the matter but she knew too little about the subject to contribute very much to the conversation. Fortunately, Adam didn’t seem deterred by her silence as he continued in the same, rather evangelical tone.
‘These kids have seen sights most adults couldn’t cope with so they’ll definitely need skilled people to counsel them. I’ll get in touch with Shiloh and see what can be arranged.’
‘Good idea,’ she agreed, then looked round in relief when Sister Beatrice asked her how Sister Eleanor was faring.
Kasey explained that the operation had been a success and that it shouldn’t be long before Sister Eleanor was up and about again, but it was difficult to concentrate when she was so aware of Adam sitting beside her.
She shot a glance his way and frowned when she saw the strained expression on his face. He looked really on edge and she couldn’t understand what was wrong with him. He’d seemed very much in control when he’d berated her for parading around the annexe earlier that evening, so what had happened in the interim?
By the time dinner ended, she was a bundle of nerves and wasn’t looking forward to having to go back to the annexe and spend the evening making polite conversation with him. When Claire asked her if she wanted to join her for a cup of coffee, she eagerly agreed.
‘I’d love to!’ she exclaimed, standing up. The nuns had already ushered the children out of the dining room so there were just the three of them left. She held her breath when Claire asked Adam if he would like to join them because she really could do with a breathing space away from him.
‘Thanks, but I think I’ll go back to the annexe and finish off that list I was compiling,’ he explained, picking up his briefcase. ‘We’re bound to see more children tomorrow who will need to be hospitalised and it will save time if I’ve done most of the paperwork tonight.’
‘Do you want me to give you a hand?’ Kasey offered, feeling guilty about leaving him to do all the work.
‘No, it’s fine. You go and have a coffee with Claire.’
‘Right.’ Kasey didn’t argue as she followed Claire out of the dining room. They went straight to the kitchen where Claire filled a huge, soot-blackened kettle with water and placed it on the hob.
‘It will take a while to boil because it’s a wood-burning stove,’ Claire warned her, taking a couple of thick white mugs off a shelf.
‘No problem. I’m certainly not in any rush to go back to the annexe.’
Claire arched a brow. ‘Why? Has something happened?’
‘No, of course not…’ she began, then sighed, because there was no point pretending everything was fine. ‘Adam’s been acting very strangely since he caught me parading around in a towel earlier on tonight.’
‘I see.’ Claire chuckled. ‘I thought he looked a bit uptight during dinner.’
‘You noticed it, too?’ She plonked herself down on a chair. ‘He obviously believes I did it on purpose but it was just an accident!’
‘And now you’re worried in case he thinks he might be in for a night of passion?’ Claire grinned as she took a jar of instant coffee out of a cupboard. ‘Would that be such a dreadful thing? I mean, he is rather gorgeous, isn’t he?’
‘He is, but it’s not that simple. He and I…well, we used to be an item at one time.’
‘Really?’ Claire spooned some coffee into the mugs then sat down opposite her. ‘So what happened? Did you break it off? Did he? Or was it all some terrible misunderstanding and you’ve been pining away for love of one another ever since?’ She gave a theatrically wistful sigh and Kasey laughed.
‘The answer is no to all of those!’
‘Then what did happen?’ Claire sobered abruptly. ‘If it would help to talk about it, Kasey, I swear that anything you tell me won’t go any further.’
‘It’s kind of you, Claire, but it’s very complicated.’
‘Affairs of the heart usually are,’ Claire said flatly.
‘Yes, I expect so, but this was even more complicated than most…’ Kasey bit her lip but the urge to tell someone about what had happened was suddenly too strong to resist. ‘It wasn’t just a question of Adam and I being attracted to each other, you see. I…well, I deliberately set out to make him fall for me, to pay him back for what he did to my brother.’
‘Wow! You weren’t kidding when you said it was complicated.’ Claire sat back in her seat and stared at her in amazement. ‘I take it that your plan worked?’
‘Oh, yes. Only too well.’ Kasey laughed shortly. ‘I’d covered every angle from getting myself a job at the hospital where Adam worked to accidentally bumping into him the day I arrived. Nobody could have planned it better, if I say so myself.’
‘And did it turn out how you’d envisaged it would?’
‘No, not really. I’d just meant to shake him up a bit, make him see how it felt to lose something you thought was important to you, but it got out of hand. He…well, I think he really loved me.’
‘I see. And how did you feel about him?’
‘The same.’ She smiled sadly. ‘It was the one thing I hadn’t allowed for. I didn’t want to fall in love with him, believe me, because he’d destroyed Keiran’s life, but I just couldn’t stop myself. I fell head over heels in love with him and there was nothing I could do about it.’
‘And don’t you find that just a little bit strange?’
‘What do you mean?’
Claire shrugged. ‘You just said that you didn’t want to fall in love with Adam because of what he’d done, so why did you? What attracted you to him?’
‘Oh, I don’t know…’
‘Yes, you do. Think about it.’
‘His looks…the way he behaved towards me,’ she said slowly. ‘The fact that he was so dedicated to his job and how he was with the patients—always kind, never testy like some surgeons are. He was also such good company…witty, fun, charming, considerate…’
She stopped abruptly, shocked to have found so many good points to list.
‘In other words, he was nothing like you expected him to be?’
Kasey shook her head because there was a lump the size of Africa suddenly lodged in her throat. She had a horrible feeling that she knew what Claire was going to say next but she couldn’t stop her.
‘Then do you think you could have been wrong about him, Kasey? Is it possible that he didn’t do all the awful things you thought he’d done? I don’t know how it could have happened but it seems to me that you might have made a mistake.’
‘A mistake?’
‘Yes. Oh, I understand how hard it must be for you to face that fact because I made a mistake myself a few years ago. I believed that the man I loved was in love with me when he was merely stringing me along. Looking back, I suppose I always sensed something wasn’t quite right about our relationship but I didn’t want to admit it at the time. Maybe the same thing applies in this instance and Adam wasn’t to blame for what happened to your brother, but you don’t want to have to face up to it. It’s worth considering, surely?’
Claire didn’t say anything else as she got up and made the coffee. Kasey was glad, because she didn’t think she could have absorbed anything else. Claire’s comments had only reinforced her own doubts, hadn’t they? And yet Adam had admitted only that day that he’d told Keiran he wasn’t cut
out for medicine, so how could she have been mistaken about him?
Her thoughts twisted this way and that so that her head was aching by the time they finished their coffee. She said goodnight to Claire but the thought of going back to the annexe and seeing Adam again while she was so confused was more than she could bear.
She left the main building and followed the path until she came to an arbour formed by the boughs of a baobab tree. There was a wooden bench inside it and she sat down. It was wonderfully peaceful there with only the night-time sounds to disturb the silence and after a few moments she closed her eyes. She just needed some time on her own to think…
Adam paced the floor. It was ten minutes past midnight and there was still no sign of Kasey. What the hell was she up to? Didn’t she realise that they would have to be up really early in the morning if they were to see the rest of the children before they left? She should be trying to get some sleep instead of wasting the night gossiping with Claire!
He let himself out of the annexe and went back to the orphanage but the place was in darkness when he got there. He tried the front door but it was locked. It left him in a bit of a quandary because he had no way of knowing what had happened to Kasey. She could have decided to spend the night in the main building rather than return to the annexe, but surely she would have let him know if there’d been any change to her plans…
Unless she hadn’t wanted him to know what she was planning in case he tried to stop her?
Adam’s heart began to thump as he raced around to the front of the building. He knew he’d been behaving very strangely that night and that Kasey had noticed it, but surely she hadn’t been so alarmed that she’d decided to drive herself back to the hospital? His heart thumped even harder as he ran down the path. He would never forgive himself if anything happened to her!
He rounded the side of the building and ground to a halt when he saw that the Jeep was still parked where he’d left it. Obviously she hadn’t left the orphanage so where was she? He was loath to create a scene by hammering on the door and waking everyone up so he decided to eliminate all other possibilities before raising the alarm, starting with a thorough search of the grounds.
He retraced his tracks, following the path until he came to the arbour, and breathed a sigh of relief when he found her fast asleep on the bench. She looked so beautiful as she lay there with her cheek cradled on her hand that he couldn’t bear to wake her.
Sitting down on the bench, he stared across the night-darkened garden while he listened to the gentle rhythm of her breathing. It was a sound that filled him with sadness all of a sudden because it reminded him of all the other nights when he’d lain awake listening to her sleeping beside him. Those few, short weeks they’d had together had been the most wonderful time of his entire life. He had never felt so in tune with anyone before, never experienced such closeness as he had with Kasey. Their minds had meshed as perfectly as their bodies and the thought was so sharp, so bitter, that he drew in a ragged breath as pain speared through him. He would never love anyone the way he’d loved Kasey.
‘Adam?’
Her voice was husky with the remnants of sleep, and the pain inside him seemed to swell until it consumed him totally. He made himself breathe in then out before he turned to look at her because he wanted, needed to be in control of his emotions, yet even so he felt his heart jerk in helpless response when he saw the concern in her beautiful blue eyes. She was concerned about him and the thought almost made him keel over, only he couldn’t—wouldn’t—make a fool of himself again over her.
‘Are you all right?’
‘I’m fine,’ he ground out testily, because gentleness would have been his undoing. But, oddly enough, she didn’t round on him as she had the right to do.
Reaching out, she laid her hand on his arm and he had to breathe deeply when he felt the warmth of her fingers seeping into his skin. ‘Are you sure? You’ve been acting very strangely tonight.’
‘Have I?’ He shrugged, hoping to dislodge her hand, praying that he wouldn’t. ‘I apologise.’
‘Don’t be silly.’ She huffed out a sigh and his teeth clenched when he felt the sweetness of her breath cloud on his cheek. ‘There’s no need to apologise. I was just worried in case I’d done something to upset you…’
She broke off and he could tell that she was trying to decide if she should carry on or stop there. All of a sudden, he knew that he didn’t want to hear anything else. It wouldn’t help and it certainly wouldn’t ease this ache in his heart that was rapidly spreading throughout his body. He opened his mouth to tell her that, only she beat him to it.
‘I really and truly didn’t know it was you coming into the annexe earlier. I thought it was Claire—’
‘Forget it.’
He shot to his feet because he couldn’t take any more. Getting involved in a discussion about what had happened earlier that evening wouldn’t help one bit. He really didn’t need to be reminded about how she’d looked when he’d gone back to the annexe…
Alabster skin beaded with moisture.
Long, wet strands of hair falling around her beautiful face.
Lusciously feminine curves imprinted on a damp towel.
The images roared through his head and he cursed softly. Kasey rose to her feet, her face looking pale in the starlight. ‘Adam? What is it? What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing. It’s time we went to bed,’ he said harshly. ‘We have an early start in the morning, don’t forget.’
‘Is that why you came to find me?’ she questioned, and he saw what looked very much like disappointment in her eyes.
‘Yes.’
He turned and led the way up the path because he refused to fall into the trap of trying to second-guess what she was thinking. Nobody could read someone else’s thoughts and he certainly couldn’t read Kasey’s, otherwise he wouldn’t be in this situation, would he? He would have realised five years ago that her feelings for him hadn’t been genuine and the thought stung. He hated to be made to feel like a fool.
‘What were you doing outside anyway?’ he snapped like a headmaster carpeting an unruly pupil.
‘I wanted some time on my own to think,’ she replied with a calmness that only served to highlight his testiness.
Adam struggled to match her tone because he didn’t want it to appear as though he was being unreasonable. ‘There was a lot to take in today.’
‘There was, but it wasn’t just work I was thinking about. I needed time to think about what happened. Between us.’
‘Let’s not go down that road again,’ he said brusquely, his resolve immediately fading. The last thing he wanted was to get into another argument while he was in this state of mind. ‘So far as I’m concerned, it’s all over and done with.’
‘Is it?’ She followed him into the annexe and her face was set when he turned to look at her. ‘I don’t see how it can be over until we’ve talked about what went on.’
‘What’s there to talk about? I ruined your brother’s life. You paid me back. End of story.’ His laughter was harsh but he couldn’t disguise the pain it held and he saw her flinch.
‘And what if I was wrong? What if you weren’t to blame? What if I made a terrible mistake?’ She took a step towards him and he could see the anguish in her eyes. ‘What should I do then, Adam?’
‘I can’t answer that question,’ he said flatly, because if this was some sort of a game she’d dreamed up to torment him, he refused to take part. ‘It isn’t up to me to tell you what to do, Kasey, as you’ve pointed out more times than I can count.’
‘All right. Maybe you can’t tell me what I should do but you can tell me the truth.’
‘Why? What possible difference would it make now?’ He rounded on her, pain and anger combining into a potent force. ‘Our relationship was a sham from start to finish so what’s the point of all these questions?’
‘The point is that I need to know if I was right about you!’
‘Oh, I see. And wha
t if I tell you that you were wrong? Are you going to believe me? Or will you just think I’m lying?’
‘I don’t know! That’s why I need to hear your version of events!’ She took a quick breath and her voice was much quieter when she continued. ‘I just want to know the truth, Adam. That’s all I’m asking.’
‘Fine, but you’re not going to like it, I warn you.’
He went over to the window, wondering if he was mad to agree. It certainly wouldn’t make him feel better to shatter those illusions she still had about her brother.
‘That’s something I’ll just have to risk. But I need to know what really went on between you and Keiran, and you are the only person who can tell me. So will you? Please?’
The pleading note in her voice was almost his undoing and he swallowed. He knew how difficult this was going to be for her but maybe it was time she found out the facts. His tone was deliberately bland when he began because he wanted to spare her as much heartache as possible.
‘Your brother caused problems from the moment he set foot in the surgical department. I’d been warned what to expect but I hadn’t realised how bad the situation really was.’
‘Warned? By whom?’
‘By his previous departmental head. Keiran had done a stint in Paeds on his previous rotation and he’d been given an official warning about his behaviour while he was there.’
‘So your view of him was biased before he even started,’ she scoffed. ‘You know as well as I do that some people just don’t gel—’
‘He’d failed to turn up for ward rounds three days in a row so it was a bit more serious than him not gelling with the head of the paediatric team.’
‘Maybe he was sick. He told me that he’d not been well—’
‘He was drunk, not ill. Too drunk to get out of bed and go to work.’
‘That’s ridiculous! Keiran doesn’t drink. He never drank!’
‘And he never took drugs either?’
The Forever Assignment Page 11
