Norby The Mixed-Up Robot tnc-1

by Isaac Asimov

  "I guess I do," said Norby, shooting out his left arm so that he could take Jeff's right hand in his. "Maybe we're both important."

  He jiggled happily on his backwards and forwards feet for a second and then said, "Jeff, we'd better walk home. That will look better than using antigrav. I feel better. I'm funny-looking, but nobody should mind that. I've got consciousness and I'm alive and I'm at one with the universe. Isn't that right, Jeff?"

  "Yes, Norby."

  "And what's more, the universe is at one with me, isn't it, Jeff?"

  "I think it's more fitting for you to be at one with the universe."

  "It think it would be nice to consider the universe's feelings, too, Jeff. I think the universe would be pleased to be at one with me."

  "Well…maybe."

  It was an exceedingly pleasant day. There were joggers moving along the roads now, and Norby waved to each as they passed, crying out, "I am at one with you."

  Jeff pulled at his hand. Don't disturb them, Norby. Jogging is hard work."

  "You know," Norby said, "when you were meditating, Jeff, I tried to do the same. I think I had a dream."

  "You're not supposed to sleep. Come to think of it, I don't think robots know how to sleep."

  "I had to learn while I was in the stasis box. It protected my mind. Anyway, I half-thought I was in a strange land. I was aware of the park, but I was also aware of the strange land. I was aware of both at the same time. Doesn't that make it a dream, Jeff?"

  "I don't know, Norby. I don't think that's the way I dream."

  Norby ignored that. "I dreamed about this strange land that seemed to be something I had never actually seen, but I can't be sure. How do I know where all of me has been, come to think of it? Maybe I was remembering instead of dreaming."

  "If you go to this strange land, Norby, don't go there without me."

  "I won't go anywhere without you, Jeff, except I think I don't know how to go anywhere, really. I only know how to get back."

  "Back where?"

  "Back here from wherever I've been."

  "But how can you get back if you don't know how to get there in the first place?"

  "I can go. I just don't know how how to go."

  "You mean whenever you travel anywhere, it isn't really controlled."

  "I guess that's it."

  "That's inconvenient, Norby."

  "But I'll always get you home. After all, my function is to protect and teach, so you can't blame me if I'm not perfect at taking you places. You'll keep me, won't you, Jeff, even so? You won't sell me to someone else? I will try to be a good robot."

  "I know you'll try," Jeff said, but he did wonder just a little bit what good it would do for a robot as mixed up as Norby to try.

  6. Manhattan Falls

  "Here's Fifth Avenue," Jeff said, rounding the corner of a wall, "and pretty soon we'll be home and ready for a nice breakfast."

  "And a plug into the socket for me," said Norby. "Don't forget my needs."

  They started out across the sidewalk, hand in hand. They had nearly reached the curb when Jeff said in a tense, low voice, "Oh, no!"

  "What? What?" said Norby.

  "Get back!" whispered Jeff, turning and taking sudden long strides.

  Norby went over backwards, and his barrel body made ominous scraping noises on the sidewalk until Jeff shook the robot's arm. "Turn on your antigrav a little!" he whispered.

  They melted back into the nearest bush.

  "I don't suppose you care to tell me what's happening," Norby said in an aggrieved tone. "I'm just a robot, I suppose. You think I'm just a hunk of steel, I suppose. I don't have any-"

  Jeff caught his breath. "Shut up," he said, still panting a little. "Why don't you use your eyes instead of that noisy rattle you call a voice? Can't you see there are men in uniform around the apartment house?"

  "Cops?" said Norby.

  "Those aren't police uniforms."

  "Sanitation men? Park Security? Hotel doormen?"

  "Is this a time to be funny? I think they're Ing's men. And if they're strong enough and bold enough to conduct a raid-"

  Jeff was talking to himself rather than to Norby, but Norby interrupted. "Maybe they've taken over the city."

  "I don't see how they can have done that. Manhattan Island runs itself-sort of-and insists on having no outside armed force on its acres, but even so-"

  "If it's just a raid," Norby said, "they're taking a big chance and they have to be after something important. I guess they must be after me."

  "You?"

  "Who else? It's our apartment house, isn't it? And you and I live there, and we've just had a fight with two of Ing's men and it can't be you they're after, so it's got to be me. That's logic. I'm very good at logic."

  "Why does it have to be you? Why can't it be me?"

  Norby made a sound like a snort and didn't answer. "They can't have taken the whole city," he said. "Albany Jones approaches."

  A police hover-car was circling above, moving slowly as though searching for something. The uniformed men guarding the entrance to the building shot at the car without effect.

  "How do you know it's Albany?" Jeff asked.

  "It's her car. I don't know if she's in it, of course, but it's her car. I tune into motors. It's very simple to recognize one from another. That's one of the things I could teach you besides languages. Don't forget I'm a teaching robot. Languages are my specialty, but I'm sure I could manage a few other things."

  The hovering police car dropped a spine-cluster into the midst of the men below. Understandably, the result was panic. Some of the men dived for the doorway and the others for the two ends of the block. When a spine-cluster explodes, the results are felt only in the immediate vicinity and are not fatal, but those at the receiving end feel as if they've tangled with twenty porcupines. And removing the spines is neither easy nor painless.

  Street traffic diverted quickly as drivers recognized that a fight was going on.

  "Why don't you signal the hover-car?" Norby said. "It has to know where we are."

  "I was about to," said Jeff, waving energetically from behind the bush. The police car sank downward slightly, and something fell out. Jeff tried to catch it, misjudged, and received it roughly on his right shoulder.

  "Ouch!" he groaned. "Ever since I met you, Norby, things have been falling on me, or I have been falling on things. I feel black and blue allover. Why didn't you catch it? You can't be hurt."

  "My feelings can. And with you lurching around trying to catch it, what could I do? You nearly stepped on me as it was."

  Jeff was still rubbing his shoulder. "What is this?"

  "It's the same belt device that Albany was wearing in Central Park-a personal shield. If you use it, Ing's men won't be able to touch you."

  "But how am I going to use it? I don't know how it works."

  "That's why you have me. I know how it works. I've already deciphered its simple mechanism. Put it on, then turn this switch here when you need protection. Your arms go in these places. No, no, that metal part goes in front. Can't you see?"

  "That metal part," grumbled Jeff, "is what hit my shoulder. Is it on right now?"

  "Yes," said Norby, "though actually I'm plenty of protection for you anytime."

  "Anytime there's no danger." Jeff turned the switch on the belt and was instantly aware of the faint radiance that surrounded him. The street, the sky, and the buildings all took on a slightly yellow tinge that made everything look particularly bright and cheerful.

  Norby didn't sound cheerful, however. "Jeff! I can't get through to you."

  "Sure you can, Norby. I hear you perfectly."

  "I don't mean that. I mean I'm outside the field."

  Jeff turned off the field, picked up Norby, and turned the field back on. The personal shield enveloped them both.

  "What's the difference?" Jeff said. "You can't be hurt, and if you can protect me, you can surely protect yourself."

  "I get lonely," said
Norby.

  The police car had descended nearly to surface level. Albany leaned out and shouted, "Get in! Hurry! Those Ingrates are corning up with a full-sized blaster."

  Jeff tried to climb aboard with Norby desperately hanging onto him. Norby activated his antigrav and it came on so strongly that Jeff found himself turning upside down. Albany pulled him in. "Goodness," she said, "you and that barrel are light. Don't you have any insides?"

  Jeff could hear shouting and heavy footsteps behind him. There was the sound of an unpleasant explosion as the car zoomed upward. It shook in the air vibrations but remained untouched.

  "Ing's men seized the police station," Albany said. "They came right behind me. They may have seized all the police stations in Manhattan." She bit her lip and shook her head. "I'm afraid we've underestimated the Ingrates. They always seemed a minor nuisance, a bunch of inept terrorists. But it's clear now that that was just a screen. They've set up a formidable force, and they're prepared to take over the system."

  "How did you get away?" Jeff asked anxiously.

  "My personal shield, of course. I must tell my father to get the City Council to equip all the cops with shields. But I suppose it's too late now, at least for Manhattan. It's Space Command that-"

  "But what about Fargo?" Jeff said anxiously.

  Albany swallowed. Her brows contracted unhappily over her large eyes. "The truth is I don't know. They grabbed him when they came out of the police transmit, and I was so busy getting away I had no chance to see what became of him. He had given me his address when I was taking him to the station." She looked a little guilty. "We always get the names and addresses of those we take into custody," she added. "Purely routine."

  "Yes, yes," said Jeff, who wanted her to get to the point. What had happened to Fargo?

  "I drifted by the apartment house, just in case he had gotten away and gone there. I had no idea where else he might go. When I saw the house guarded by the Ingrates, I thought he might have been trapped in the vicinity. Then, of course, I found you. " She said that with a certain note of disappointment.

  Jeff disregarded that. "Then you don't know where Fargo is?"

  "No. I'm afraid I don't. What we've got to do now is to find a transmit in Manhattan that hasn't been taken over by the Ingrates. We've got to notify Space Command, or the Ingrates may be able to take over all Earth. They wouldn't attack Manhattan unless they've already seized the key communications network. That's what worries me." She paused and looked solemnly at Jeff. "If we can't notify Space Command-"

  "Put me down, Miss Jones," Jeff demanded. "I have to find Fargo!"

  "I can't put you down. You'd be taken instantly. And there's no need to worry about Fargo. Your brother is quite attractive…What I mean is, he's quite intelligent, and I'm sure he can take care of himself. We have bigger worries. Space Command itself may be infected by Ing's people."

  "Fargo had some kind of private conversation with Admiral Yobo," Jeff said. "That may have been the problem they were concerned with. And maybe that's why Fister and Sligh were after him. They didn't want to convert him. They wanted to finish him. Miss Jones, please let me look for him. They'll kill him."

  "If I may make a suggestion," Norby said.

  Albany jumped at his voice, and the hover-car lurched as she inadvertently yanked at the controls. "That's not a barrel," she said. "It's a robot. Don't let that silly thing get in our way."

  "That silly thing!" shouted Norby. "You're the silly thing, or you wouldn't be so busy talking you can't see the danger right ahead. There are cars approaching, shield-protected hovercars that probably belong to this Ing person you're so worried about. If I were you, I'd go somewhere else quickly, but, of course, I'm just a silly thing, so don't listen to me."

  "Ing's cars?" Albany looked about in horror. It was clear that the trouble was even worse than Norby had thought. They were surrounded.

  Albany's mouth tightened. "Ing must have been planning this a long time. He's taking over Manhattan as though it were a meatball and he were a wolf. Well, we've got shields. Shall we fight it out?"

  "With what?" said Jeff.

  "I've got a long-range stun gun and a hand-blaster."

  "Will they work on shielded cars?"

  "No," admitted Albany.

  "Does this car have shielding?"

  "Are you kidding? With the Manhattan fiscal situation? No, only our personal shields, courtesy of Daddy."

  "Then they'll destroy our hover-car in fifteen seconds, and we fall"-Jeff looked down for a quick estimate-"thirty stories, I think."

  "You might as well surrender, then," Norby said. "That will give us time, and I'll be able to think of some way of saving the situation. I'm terribly ingenious."

  "Is surrendering a sample of your ingenuity?" Albany asked. "Anyone can surrender-"

  "There's nothing else to do right now," Jeff said, "and it may be the only way of finding Fargo. We'd better do it right away. One of Ing's cars looks as though it's bringing a blaster to bear on us." He turned off his shield and handed the device to Norby. "Can you hide this in your-uh-inside?"

  "I suppose I can," Norby said, "but it will make me feel as though I have indigestion. Why don't you swallow it? You have a sort of hollow inside, too."

  "Funny, funny. Here, take Miss Jones's."

  Carefully, while making little noises of displeasure, Norby put away both shield devices as Albany took the hover-car down to the ground. They were followed, of course, and when the Ingrates swarmed out of their cars, Albany and Jeff surrendered.

  They were careful to look scornful and superior when they gave themselves up. At least they tried, and it was especially hard for Jeff, who kept Norby under his arm. Norby made no attempt to look either scornful or superior. He merely concentrated on looking like a barrel.

  The Central Park Precinct Station was inside an old brick building and had the aura of centuries of use and occasional slipshod repairs.

  Sligh and Fister hustled Albany and Jeff toward the station's transmit. Despite the chronic shortage of municipal funds and the best efforts of every city councilman, there seemed no way of economizing on those transmits. Each police station simply had to have one for any necessary travel through space.

  Jeff was still holding Norby. Sligh scowled. "You're not dragging that barrel around everywhere, Wells," he growled. "It made a lump on my head once, and you're not going to use it as a weapon again. Hand it over and I'll melt it down for scrap. Or we'll use it as ballast. Maybe we'll just smash it with a sledgehammer."

  Jeff clutched Norby tightly. "I need this barrel," he said. "It's a device that's necessary to-to my health."

  "Are you going to tell me you've hidden a kidney filter in that old barrel?"

  "I didn't want to tell you."

  "And I suppose you'll die without it?"

  "I, ah…" Jeff hated to lie, but Sligh seemed to be doing it for him.

  "You're not fooling me, you dumb kid," said Sligh. "You look too big and healthy to need any machine for your health. I bet that's got Wells money in it. Maybe gold. Give it over!"

  Norby whispered through his hat, "Don't stand there, Jeff. Step back into the transmit."

  Jeff paused to wonder what Norby had in mind, and suddenly he felt a pinch.

  "Hurry up!"

  Albany was already in the transmit. Fister and Sligh, facing it, were on either side of Jeff, who had his back to it. The pinch made Jeff jump backwards, and as he did, Norby's hands extended full length, pushing Fister and Sligh in the other direction, out of the transmit doorway.

  Albany, reacting at once, slammed the door shut. "Now what? The transmit mechanism works from outside."

  "Maybe so," said Norby, leaning against the door, "but I'm managing to work it through the metal-didn't I tell you I'm ingenious?"

  "They're going to force their way in-" began Albany.

  "I'm almost finished," Norby said.

  "But we have to get to where they've taken Fargo," Jeff said.

&nbs
p; "I'm sensing his presence," Norby said, "and I'm adjusting the controls so we'll go there directly. I hope."

  A queasy sensation hit Jeff in the pit of his stomach, and he blacked out dizzily. When he came to, he saw that they were in a different transmit. He scrambled to his feet and helped Albany to hers. She brushed at her clothing and seemed pretty annoyed.

  "You didn't exactly handle that in a smooth way, Norby," Jeff said.

  "Well," said Albany, "I don't suppose we can blame your robot. The transmit is old and not working well. I don't think any of the city transmits have had repairs for five years."

  "Norby, are you going to be able to get the doors open?" Jeff asked.

  "In a minute. In a minute. And-on the other side-we will find your brother." The doors opened, and they stepped out into a huge, gray room. Overhead there was a section of glassite dome and beyond that a dim, rolling fog.

  "Or maybe we won't," Norby said in a small voice.

  "Where on earth-" said Albany.

  "I don't think anywhere on Earth," said Jeff. "Norby! Where are we?"

  "Is there a city named Titan anywhere on Earth?" Norby asked.

  "A city named what?"

  Jeff said blankly, "What does it say?"

  "It's in Colonial German. That's another language I can teach you. It would come in handy anywhere beyond the asteroids."

  "Beyond the asteroids?" said Jeff in a shout. "What does it say? I don't care if it's Sanskrit. What does it say?"

  "It says 'Property of Titan outpost.' I figure Titan is a city in the German sector of the European Region and I just may have miscalculated a small bit."

  "Titan," said Jeff in an exasperated tone, "is a satellite of Saturn, and you have miscalculated a whole lot."

  "Are you sure?" Norby asked. "It could happen to anyone."

  "Of course I'm sure. Where on Earth would we be under a dome? Look up there. You realize Titan has a thick atmosphere that is mostly nitrogen at a temperature near its liquefying point. You might have gotten us outside the dome, and then Miss Jones and I would have died a horrible death."