Need You, Need Me (The Need Series Book 1)

by Lewis, Meghan

  After a couple of deep breaths, I make my way into the pen and start to shake a little. I’m intimidated by these two beautiful horses.

  “Alright, let’s get you up on Levi and see how it feels,” he says, bringing Levi out closer to me.

  He tells me how to get up the easiest way, and I do. When I am firmly seated on the saddle, I smile.

  “Wow, this is crazy, Kev.” A huge smile is on my face now.

  When I say that, Lucy has started making noises. Kevin still has the reins, and we start to walk to the gate to go out on the property. Lucy has now started to go a little too crazy for my taste.

  “Is she okay?” I ask.

  “She’s temperamental. I told you. Now you see what I mean,” he answers, turning back to the gate, shaking his head.

  All of a sudden, Lucy is up against Levi and is pushing him off to the side. I wouldn’t have minded so much, but the majority of her weight has now smashed my ankle and foot which are still in the stirrup between the two massive bodies.

  “Kevin, what the fuck! She’s crushing my foot!” I say, trying to snatch my foot out.

  “LUCY!” He grabs her reins and pulls hard to get her away from Levi. When he does, the relief is instant. He ties her reins to the post on the other side of the pen and comes over to me.

  “May, I’m sorry . . . I don’t know what the hell that was about. Are you okay?” Oh, he’s worried.

  I get off of Levi and test my foot. My goodness that was a lot of force.

  I look at Lucy, and I notice her ears are pointed at me. Kevin eyes me and my foot to see if I am alright. I ease his nerves when I say it’s fine.

  I’m still looking at Lucy, and she’s still looking at me.

  Without saying anything to tip off Kevin, I walk towards Lucy, and as soon as he sees where I am going, he grabs my arm to stop me. It’s not a rough grab or anything like that, but it is enough to stop me, and when he does, Lucy goes nuts.

  “Kevin. I am asking you to trust me now,” I say and ask all at the same time.

  “May . . . No, absolutely not! You saw her. Temperamental doesn’t begin to explain that horse.” He’s breathing a little heavier now.

  “Kev, trust me,” I ask as I still stare at Lucy.

  “There’s nothing I can do if she throws you, or bucks you, or anything else, for that matter, May.” He isn’t liking this at all.

  “Babe, I . . . I don’t think she’s going to hurt to me,” I say as I take my arm from his grasp. All the while, I’m still staring at Lucy.

  I walk very slowly over to Lucy. When I am a few feet away from her, I can see her body has relaxed some. I look at her, and she looks at me. She lets a soft snort, and I laugh.

  “I didn’t mean to make you mad,” I say softly, for her ears only.

  I close the distance between us and walk up next to her neck. I put my hand in the air, showing her what I am going to do, and when she doesn’t do anything, I place it on her neck softly and rub my hand up and down. This animal is solid muscle. After a couple minutes of rubbing her here and there, I walk to the front of her where her reins are wrapped around the post. I start to unwrap them, and once they are free and in my hands, she bobs her head up and down a little. I smile at her and rub the white patch in between her eyes. I turn to walk her towards the gate, and when we are out on the property, she nudges my shoulder a little. It is not enough to knock me over but enough to make me look at her.

  I have stopped walking and take a glance at Kevin.

  He’s just standing there, not saying a word, not doing anything, but I see his chest moving up and down faster and faster. I put my hand up and signal for him to slow his breathing. He just shakes his head. As if feeling left out, Lucy nudges me again.

  “Okay, okay, okay, stop that,” I say with a little laugh to her, and she gives me a half snort. Miss attitude!

  I take the reins in one hand like Kevin has shown me, and I brace my left foot in the stirrup. I pause before I go any further, and Lucy just turns her head and looks at me.

  “Don’t hurt me, girl,” I say loudly enough for her to hear me as I get up into the saddle. This doesn’t feel like when I was on Levi. All those scared feelings I had earlier have completely melted away. I take the reins in both my hands and realize I don’t know what to do at this point.

  Laughing, I look back at Kevin. “Babe, what do I do no–”

  I didn’t have to finish my question because Lucy has started to walk us out away from the pen. I give her a rub, and then I look back at Kevin. He has secured the duffel bag onto Levi and is up on him and heading out of the pen to us.

  When Lucy hears them coming, she stops and lets them come up beside us.

  The look on Kevin’s face makes me laugh unbelievably loud and hard.

  I’m still laughing as I ask him if he’s okay.

  He straightens his legs, leans over to me, grabs the back of my neck, and kisses me. When he pulls away, my lips hurt, and now I’m breathing a little heavier.

  “Holy shit, May. I love you so much right now. You’ll never know.” That’s all he can get out. After I let him calm down from whatever shock he is under, I ask him to go through everything with me. That’s what we do for the next few hours of the day: leg squeezes, rein pulls, and sounds of the horses. I learned how to go with the ride of the saddle whether the horse is walking, trotting, galloping or running. I know I am going to be sore tomorrow.

  We take a break to eat lunch, and we sit next to the fence, so Lucy can be close to me. We tried to sit on the porch, but she wouldn’t be quiet, so we had to move down to the grass by the fence. Kevin and I talk about everything that I have learned, and he tests me from time to time on things as well. Throughout our conversation, I hold up a carrot in the air, and Lucy takes it gently, all the while, I am still talking to Kevin. It has almost become second nature. Every time I give her a carrot, Kevin stops talking, watches, shakes his head, and laughs.

  “I think she likes me,” I say, rolling my eyes.

  “I think she loves you, darlin’. Now you really can’t leave.” As soon as he says the words, he closes his eyes.

  Shit. No, don’t put a shadow over this amazing day we are having.

  I clear my throat and stand up. I turn towards Lucy and give her the rest of my carrots. I slip one or five to Levi. Lucy didn’t like that too much, but I feel bad for Levi. When all the carrots are gone, I wipe my hands on my pants and feel Kevin’s arms come around me, and his chin on my shoulder.

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. We are having a great day. I didn’t mean to fuck it up,” he says quietly into my ear.

  “It’s fine, babe. So do you think I am ready or not?” I ask–change the subject, change the subject, change the subject.

  “Darlin’, you are more than ready. Let’s get to it,” he says, letting me go and opening the gate to go to the horses.

  We walk in and get on the horses who seem to have gotten a little antsy with us taking our time with lunch.

  “So which way are we headed?” I ask with a smile on my lips that I just can’t hide. I am that excited about this.

  “We will be going all the way on the other side of the clearing and right where that tall pine tree is . . . You see it?” he asks, pointing off to our current destination.

  “Got it,” and I kick Lucy a little. She and I are off like a prom dress and running across the clearing. I hear Kevin swearing behind us, but I don’t stop. This is just too fucking cool.

  Lucy must be younger than Levi because they are never alongside of us until I back Lucy off a little as we come close to the big pine. We come to a slow trot and then a complete stop as we wait for the boys to catch up.

  Smiling, I look over at Kevin, who is beyond pissed. I drop my smile.

  “DON’T EVER FUCKING DO THAT AGAIN!” he yells into the air. “I had a FUCKING heart attack, May . . . JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!” he yells some more. Oh, boy is he mad.

  “I’m sorry . . . I didn’t kno
w she was that fast. I didn’t mean to scare you, babe,” I say quietly. I reach down and rub Lucy who in turn sways her head towards Levi and bumps him a little. It makes me laugh until I look at Kevin again, and I squeeze my lips shut.

  “Thank God you can’t do that on the trail,” he says, letting out a loud breath. “Follow me, please . . . If you don’t mind,” he continues and kicks Levi forward into the tree line. I smile and stick my tongue out at his back, and I kick Lucy forward to follow them.

  Making our way through the trail takes my breath away. The trees and the sunlight alone keep me looking all around. The birds and animals that I have seen walking through the woods are amazing. I can’t even begin to imagine where this spot of his is because we could stop right now, and I would be in paradise. We walk for a little bit and stop to let the horses rest. I can feel myself getting sore already, but I won’t let it phase me and push it from my mind. This is the best day I have had in a while. Sharing a great kiss or just hugging onto each other while we are taking our breaks just makes it that much harder to get back on the horses. As we continue on the trail, I ask questions about the property and how he got into horseback riding. He answers, and when there is enough room on the trail, I trot Lucy up next to him and steal a kiss or four.

  “You really are getting the hang of all this, aren’t you, love?” he asks after one kiss.

  “Yes. This is great, and it’s important to you, so it’s important to me. But If I’m being honest, I would want to do this without you even though it‘s so much better with you.”

  He smiles that smile that’s just for me.

  “My spot is coming up. How are you feeling?” he asks, concerned.

  “Oh, there is no doubt in my mind I am going to be sore tomorrow, even if I soak all night in an Epsom Salt bath,” I say with a smile.

  His smile drops, and he looks off into the distance.

  “Totally and completely worth it,” I say so he can hear over all the thoughts that I know are rolling around in his head.

  “And here we are,” he says, pulling on Levi’s reins.

  I let Lucy walk up next to him, and he stops her. I grab out to clutch Kevin’s hand. When I find it, I squeeze it very tightly. I hadn’t realized that we were going uphill, but that’s exactly what we were doing because I am now looking over the mountain range. I see all the dips in between the mountains, small trail clearings in the trees, and the clear sky. I feel the sunshine beaming down on me with no obstruction whatsoever. It doesn’t get much better than this. I see Kevin slide off Levi, but I can’t begin myself to move from Lucy. This is Heaven on earth. I feel Kevin’s hand wrap around my leg, trying to snap me out of my awe, but I don’t move.

  “Let me just take all this in, please?” I say, not taking my eyes off the view before me.

  And that’s what I do. I just take it in. I have never seen this kind of view before. It’s almost like being on a plane when you take off. You can see everything for the size it is, but when you lift off, everything gets a little smaller the higher you go. Right now, I feel like I am soaring. Only after I notice the absence of his hand on my leg do I look for Kevin. He has taken the duffel off of Levi and is now laying everything out on the ground.

  I laugh as I dismount Lucy. When I walk up to him, I ask, “What in the world is all this?”

  “I wanted to see this view with you in as comfortable position as possible,” he says, sitting down.

  He has laid out a comforter and has placed two pillows down on one end of the blanket. I sit down, take my shoes off, and lay down. We are on a tilt, so I can still see everything. Kevin takes my hand.

  “My favorite place in the whole world,” he says, resting an elbow on his knee and taking in the view.

  “Kevin . . . This. Is. Amazing. WOW!” It’s literally all I can say.

  “I’m glad you like it, darlin’. I came out here many times after I got back from meeting you and just thought about our time together.”

  “Seriously, this is too great, and you get to look at this whenever you want!”

  “Anytime I want . . . What can I say, I’m blessed,” he says with a shrug.

  “Yes . . . Yes, you are very blessed,” I say, still looking at the view.

  We lay there for the next couple of hours taking in the view and each other’s presence. It’s almost too much, but at the same time, just enough. We look up at the blue sky and talk about our childhoods, where we grew up, and all that stuff. When we were talking on the computer, we had touched down on some of this stuff, but we never went into fierce detail like we are now. There are tears and laughs and prayers to remember the ones that aren’t with us anymore.

  I’m lying flat on my back when he rolls half his body onto mine.

  “You ready to head back?” he asks.

  “Absolutely not. Why do we have to? Is this someone else’s property? Are we trespassing?” I ask nervously.

  “Well, yeah this is someone else’s property, but they don’t mind people riding through just as long as you aren’t killing anything. But yeah, we do need to start heading back. I think those clouds over there are looking a little angry, and I don’t like the horses–or us for that matter–out in the rain,” he says, standing up and looking at the clouds again.

  “Well shit. Alright, I guess. Let’s head on back,” I pout.

  We pack everything back into the duffel, and he secures it to Levi again. We get on the horses and start back down the trail.

  I don’t even have to hold onto the reins because Lucy seems like she knows exactly where she’s going. She really is a great horse. I think she is just taken wrong. I smile at that thought. I know how you feel, girl.

  When we get to the edge of the clearing that is Kevin’s property, he stops so we can’t pass him.

  “Kev, you alright, babe?” I ask curiously.

  “I don’t know. I have a weird feeling. Does that ever happen to you?” he asks, not looking at me.

  “Yeah, I am kind of in tuned to that part of my conscious. I sort of have to be with my job,” I say, trying to feel what he feels.

  “Let’s just run back to the pen. These two are just waiting to be let loose after all that walking,” he suggests with a laugh, but I hear that it is forced.

  “Uh, yeah okay . . . Can you stay ahead of me this time, please,” I ask, looking at nothing in the trees.

  That’s when I feel it. Something is off. I don’t like this feeling.

  Kevin kicks Levi once, and they are off. I don’t wait. I kick Lucy, and she is off just as fast. We are almost to the pen, and we are only running half of horse behind Levi and Kevin when it goes off.

  “BOOM”

  I watch, out of the corner of my eye, as Kevin gets Levi under control, but Lucy is another story. She is now fully freaked out by whatever that sound was and has started backing up while throwing her front hooves up a little. I try to keep her calm, but I can’t help but feel that I am losing the battle.

  “KEVIN!” I yell.

  “BOOM”

  Before I know where that came from, Lucy is now up on her hind legs and is officially freaking the fuck out. If I was more used to riding, I might have held on, but I’m not. When she rears up one more good time, I can’t hold on, and I fall off her sideways. I land on the ground, and Lucy takes off. Squinting, I see Kevin is off of Levi, and Levi has taken off running as well. Kevin is running towards me and yelling my name. When he is almost to me, he hits his knees and skids the foot left to get to me. He doesn’t grab me up like I thought he would but leaves me where I am. My eyes close on their own.

  “MAY! OPEN YOUR EYES!” I hate it when he yells.

  I open my eyes and look at him. He is on his phone.

  “My name is Kevin Winston. My address is . . .”

  He is fading out.

  Shit! Concentrate, May.

  “No, there was a gunshot or something, and she got thrown–No, she didn’t get stepped on–MAY, OPEN YOU EYES . . . MAY!”

  And t
hen, just like in the movies, everything fades to black.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  “Nothing’s broke . . . concussion . . . bruises . . . watch bump . . . head. Call . . . there . . . changes.”

  I can’t focus hard enough to try to get every word. Nothing’s broken, that’s a relief. Poor Kevin, he must be worried.

  And then there is nothing again.

  What seems like hours later, I let a slow moan go from out of my mouth. My eyes are still closed.

  “Can I have some water, please?” I ask very softly. My throat is dry and a little scratchy.

  Kevin is at my side with a bottled water in a heartbeat. He is worried. Kevin is a very laid back kind of guy, never hurries anywhere, and takes his time. So hearing him run around the room, I know he is worried.

  “May?” Open your eyes,” he says loudly.

  “Kevin, I love you, but if you don’t lower your voice, I will be forced to kill you,” I say, opening my eyes and leaning up on to my elbows, which proves to be the wrong move because pain shoots up and down my left arm. I flinch and then push myself all the way up, so I lean against the headboard. Bad move, my ass hurts just as bad as my elbow, and I roll over onto my right side with my eyes shut tight, hoping that that side is okay. It is, and I let out a relieved sigh. Kevin comes over to the edge of my side of the bed and sits down on the floor. He doesn’t want to touch me because he might hurt me. This could prove problematic for my last couple of days.

  I open my eyes to look at him, and he is sitting there with his arms around his bent-up knees. His hands grip each other tightly. He is looking down at the floor.

  “Kev, are you okay?” I test him and reach my hand out to him.

  “I shouldn’t have let you take Lucy, and I should have went over the whole horse getting spooked thing. I should’ve–”

  “Stop it . . . stop it now, Kevin. Today was a great day.” I say, holding my hand out to him still.

  “Great day? You got thrown off that crazy ass horse and got fucked up. Not exactly what I call a great day, May,” he says, finally taking my hand and getting up on to his knees and closer to the bed.