The Spark_What does death feel like?

by R. Mason

  “You wish.” Amethyst tried to smile, pushing away thoughts that would no doubt absorb her later. She took another sip of her tea, and found it vaguely bearable. They stood in silence for a moment, before Amethyst’s phone buzzed in her pocket.

  “The wife?” Rida asked, and Amethyst rolled her eyes before pulling her phone out and looking at the name on the screen.

  “She’s so clingy.” Amethyst sighed, pretending to be hard done to while smiling, “Hey.” She answered the phone.

  “I’ll go order the food,” Rida said, “Usual?”

  “Yeah, thanks,” Amethyst said, before tuning in to Faye already talking, “Sorry, rewind on that.”

  “If only you had an enhanced attention span.” Faye sighed.

  “It’s one of my endearing qualities.”

  “Along with your charming wit,” Faye grumbled, “Now, listen, I know you’re in some kind of mood lately and I’m sorry if I reacted badly to Dylan or whatever but-”

  “What? I’m not in a mood about Dylan.”

  “Really?” Faye said, surprised, “Never mind, I still need to ask you something.”

  “What?” Amethyst took another sip of her tea, relishing in the level of warmth it now held, soothing the tightness of her throat.

  “My dad has gone away for another business trip so I have the house all to myself. You want to come stay?”

  “How long will he be away this time?”

  “He didn’t say,” Faye said, “The only sign I have is the amount of money he left behind, which is pretty hefty.”

  “I’m having a takeaway with my mum tonight, so I’ll come tomorrow.” Amethyst thought back to what her mum had told her, and how Kamini knew her name, “Do you want to come here tonight? I don’t want you to be on your own.”

  “I can just read, Ammie.” Faye laughed, brushing off Amethyst’s concern as she always did.

  “Come over,” Amethyst repeated, “Please.”

  “Fine,” Faye gave in with a sigh, “If you weren’t in a mood with me about Dylan, then what was it?”

  “Nothing, nothing. I’ve just got a lot on my mind right now.”

  “Okay,” Faye said, “You’d tell me if something was up, right?”

  “Always.” Amethyst lied, the tea becoming bitter on her tongue.

  Rida wasn’t surprised when Amethyst told her Faye was coming over again, simply smiling and saying that she wasn’t sharing. They ate at the table like a family. With endless smiles and giggles, Faye retold stories about her last week, carefully excluding anything about Dylan or the panic attack. Rida smiled along with her, looking on fondly as if Faye was her own daughter.

  It made Amethyst warm inside, watching the scene in front of her, seeing Faye fit in seamlessly with her family routine. How she looked so beautiful with just a T Shirt and jeans was beyond Amethyst, but there was something about the way the clothes hung loosely and comfortable, so Faye could move freely and gesticulate without hindrance, that made her gorgeous.

  Her pale skin and seemingly fragile bones hid a deeper passion, like an ocean brewing inside of the girl, barely contained by her skin. When she looked at Amethyst, meeting her eyes was like looking at the stars, her appearance so pleasing to the eye but too out of reach to touch.

  “Well, I need to get some paperwork done in my office.” Rida picked her own plate up, collecting the Tupperware’s from her meal and piling them up on top of each other, “There’s some apple pie from Ash left in the fridge, if you two want to finish it.”

  “I was planning on it anyway.” Amethyst blinked innocently, earning an elbow to the ribs from Faye and a snort form her mum.

  “Of course, you were,” Rida said, “You’re welcome to stay over if you want, Faye, but I won’t see you in the morning. Early shift.”

  “Say that to Faye before your own daughter,” Amethyst waved her fork, “Rude.”

  “Don’t say that like you haven’t memorised my schedule back to front.”

  “She has a point.” Faye shrugged, and Amethyst looked between them, narrowing her eyes.

  “I don’t like how you’re ganging up on me,” She said, “Mum, go do your paperwork. Faye, stop talking all together.”

  “We need to do this again.” Rida winked at Faye before leaving the room, the sound of the office door closing behind her following after a few seconds.

  “You’re meant to be on my side, Faye.” Amethyst pouted.

  “I’m always on your side. Speaking of which, I know you don’t like talking about it,” Faye was gazing at Amethyst, strands of hair falling from her bun into her face, framing her blue eyes so they seemed sharper, “But Dylan isn’t going away and-”

  “What do you think I should do?” Amethyst asked, putting her fork down so she could face Faye properly.

  “Talk to him.”

  “What?” Amethyst raised her eyebrows, “You want me to become buddy-buddy with someone I know nothing about but seems to know everything about me?”

  “I want you to not be in the dark,” Faye pleaded, “Ignoring the problem until it goes away isn’t a solution, it’s aversion.”

  “I’m not looking for a solution. The problem will go away if it’s just a boy who doesn’t know when to stop. I’ve experienced them before.”

  “This isn’t some boy hitting on you,” Faye shook her head, looking at Amethyst as if she were a child, “This is a moonie situation, a situation you need to pay God damn attention to before it comes to bite you in the ass when it gets serious!”

  “If you insist on using that code name, fine, ‘moonie’ problems are my problems, not yours,” Amethyst’s nostrils flared, “I decide how I deal with them.”

  “You’re my problem, Ace,” Faye put a hand on Amethyst’s shoulder, the touch on bare skin making Amethyst automatically relax, “It’s my job to look after your sorry butt.”

  “I don’t need looking after.”

  “I know,” Faye said, “But I want to look after you.”

  “You can’t. Not this time.”

  “What does that mean?” Faye moved her hand away, and though Amethyst wanted to grab it back, she didn’t.

  “It means this problem is my own, and you need to get your nose out of it.” Amethyst knew she was being cruel, knew she was hitting Faye where it hurt, but if she got too close she could be in even more pain. Their problem wasn’t just Dylan, it was Kamini, and the brutal reality of the fact that she was probably the one to kill those two people and she wasn’t going to stop there.

  “Fine,” Faye said shortly, “I think I better go home.”

  “Faye-” Amethyst stood, following the girl as she headed for the door, pulling on her pumps.

  “You want me to stay out of it? I am.” Faye said, zipping her hoodie up angrily.

  “You can’t walk home this late, Faye, it’s dangerous.” Amethyst held Faye’s wrist where it was about to reach for the door handle. The other girl looked down at her hand, jaw clenching.

  “Let go of me.” She commanded, not meeting Amethyst’s eyes.

  “I can’t let you out there on your own.”

  “Why?” Faye eventually said, looking up, her eyes filled with fire.

  Kamini, Amethyst wanted to say, “Two bodies have been found. One of them with human inflicted wounds.”

  “The other?”

  “Animal,” Amethyst bit her tongue, “Probably a bear, or something. It’s not safe.”

  “I’ll stay away from the woods.” Faye tried to pull her hand away, but Amethyst didn’t let go.

  “Or just stay,” She loosened her grasp, then let go, realising she could have been hurting the girl, “I’ll do something about the moonie problem, I’ll talk to Dylan, just don’t leave me when you’re angry. You know I hate it when you’re mad at me.”

  “I wouldn’t be mad at you if you weren’t so stubborn in an attempt to be noble.” Faye raised her eyebrows, a final act of defiance even though Amethyst knew she had been forgiven.

  “Sometimes I
like to do things for myself,” Amethyst stepped closer, putting her hand more gently against the other girl’s waist, “We’re not going to always be at each other’s’ side, you know.”

  “Says who?” Faye said, her hands twitching as if she didn’t know what do to with them.

  “Says life,” Amethyst clutched at Faye’s shirt, “We can fight tooth and nail to be together though.”

  “If I can handle you being a werewolf, I’m pretty sure there’s nothing life can throw at us that we wouldn’t be able to see each other through.” Faye tilted Amethyst’s chin up so their eyes met, and Amethyst’s breath caught in her throat.

  “Maybe some things.” She smirked, trying to hide the nerves developing in her stomach.

  “Nothing.” Faye insisted, searching Amethyst’s face as if she could see what she was thinking. Here, in the front porch, with a dim light on them and no other sounds apart from their own breathing, it was hard to think about anything other than the swelling in her chest. Usually it was easy to ignore her feelings. Usually Faye wasn’t holding Amethyst’s chin like she was going to kiss her when no one would know but them.

  “I have something to tell you.” This wasn’t how Amethyst thought she’d be saying these words. She didn’t think she’d ever say them. But now, it wasn’t a love confession, it was something far worse.

  “What?” Faye’s eyes were open, honest, and now Amethyst had to be that too.

  “The attacks,” There were tears in Amethyst’s eyes, and Faye’s fingers were burning her skin, “I know who did them.”

  The hand disappeared.

  “I knew it,” Faye shook her head, “I knew you were keeping something from me! Is this to do with Dylan?”

  “No,” Amethyst looked at the ceiling, “And yes. I just- can we go to my room, so I can explain?”

  ◆◆◆

  “Oh, God, Amethyst,” Faye brushed her fingertips over the marks on Amethyst’s neck. They left a completely different feeling there than Kamini’s had. She closed her eyes, relishing in the warm, trying not to make any sound or move. No way was she ruining this, “I’m so glad you told me. I mean, I’m kind of pissed you didn’t tell me earlier, but still.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You were scared,” Faye said, “For yourself, and for me. I get it. I just- I’m glad I found out from you.”

  Amethyst ducked her head, feelings of guilt swimming around her body again. It felt like she would never escape it. Faye’s fingers were on her chin again, making them meet eyes.

  “Stop it,” She said gently, “This isn’t your fault.”

  Amethyst couldn’t speak. Her tongue felt glued to her mouth and there was something gripping her throat. In the darkness of her room Faye’s eyes were like burning lanterns. It wasn’t just fire, boring and orange, it was blue, burning so hot it was almost invisible.

  “We have to talk to Dylan.”

  Amethyst nodded, struggling slightly because of the hand on her face. Faye seemed to realise it was still there and moved it to her lap, clearing her throat.

  “Let’s get some sleep,” Faye said, already climbing off Amethyst’s bed to sleep on the floor.

  “Wait,” Amethyst grabbed her wrist, and they were both completely still for a moment. Fingertips clung onto fabric, and Faye’s sleeve was the only thing tethering Amethyst to earth.

  Like she already knew what Amethyst was asking, Faye smiled and took her jacket off. She stood by the bed, waiting for Amethyst to move, then once she was shuffled as close to the wall as she could go, Faye climbed in. She was wearing her cotton shorts, and a too big t shirt, but she looked gorgeous. Amethyst couldn’t imagine how she would react if the girl ever wore anything fancy. Just the thought of her in a shining dress had Amethyst blushing.

  “Are you too warm?” Faye brushed a thumb over Amethyst’s rosy cheek, and all she could do in reply was shake her head slightly. She just stared at the girl lying in front of her. A small smile ticked up the corner of her mouth without her realising, “What?”

  “I’m glad I told you.” Amethyst held a hand out, and Faye took it, interlocking their fingers. Like this, with her eyes drifting shut and Faye’s breathing and heartbeat the only things she could hear, Amethyst could almost convince herself that this was what she wanted. That Faye loved her in the way she wanted to be loved. That if she crossed the space between them and pressed a kiss against Faye’s lips, she would reciprocate.

  For a moment, Amethyst let herself imagine. She let herself relish in the idea of them being together, inseparable, in the way that she had always hoped they would be.

  The thought helped her drift to sleep, and she didn’t think about the rotten snarl of her maker once before blackness found her.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The moment Amethyst had been dreading, the moment that she had been trying to delay for two days, was finally here. Faye was making her talk to Dylan.

  “We’ll be a united front.” Faye clutched her bag strap, both herself and Amethyst watching Dylan sat by himself, stuffing food in his mouth like a pig. It was hard not to grimace at the fact that he was using his fingers, “You said he was vague?”

  “Vague as hell,” Amethyst watched as some food spilt onto his shirt, but he picked it up and ate it anyway, “If he was in some ancient novel, he’d be the guy that speaks in riddles.”

  “Like a sphynx.” Faye said, then marched forward, Amethyst having to scurry and almost lose her bag from her shoulder to catch up.

  They walked through the cafeteria, bumping into people along the way that Amethyst was left apologising to because Faye was so focused on getting to the empty table spare for one. It was a weird change of roles, and Amethyst wasn’t entirely comfortable with it. After this, she would make sure that she was the one to push through crowds and Faye apologise. It was the way of the world.

  Before she knew it, they were at Dylan’s table, and he was looking at them curiously, his food halfway to his mouth. Faye sat in front of him unceremoniously, the look in her eyes similar to that she used on the football field. For a moment, Amethyst stayed standing. It was beyond coincidence that two people in such a short space of time knew about her, and yet here they were. Hesitantly, she put her bag down, then swiftly followed.

  “Dylan.” She greeted.

  “Amethyst.” He smiled slowly, confidently, knowingly.

  “Faye,” Faye said, “Now we all know each other. First rule, no vague crap or I’ll cut you, understand?”

  “Understood.” Dylan nodded, considering Faye with careful amusement.

  “Second rule, know that I don’t like you. At all.”

  “That’s not really a rule-” Dylan tried to say, but Faye cut him off.

  “Understood?” She raised her eyebrows, and Dylan held his hands up, something flickering in his eyes other than amusement, but it wasn’t fear.

  “Cross my heart.” Dylan moved his finger across his chest sincerely.

  As people bustled around them without a clue as to how serious the conversation they were about to have was, the absurdity of the situation made Amethyst want to laugh. She didn’t, though. The situation also made her want to cry. All the conflicting emotions were about at a balance, but it was completely possible for them to tip one way or the other at any moment.

  Amethyst kept her fists clenched under the table to have something else to concentrate on other than her own mind.

  “You said you know things,” Amethyst said, voice thankfully steady, “Well, implied you know, that you want to help, that you’ve been through all of this before. You don’t get to just- you don’t get to do that.”

  “Would you rather I had just cornered you and said,” Dylan glanced around them, then leant forward slightly, lowering his voice, “’Hey, I know you’re a werewolf and there’s something going down, wanna team up and survive this thing?’ Because by the way you reacted to everything else I did? I guessed it was the right choice to not.”

  “You could’ve, I don’t
know, not been as vague,” Faye was leant back in her chair, her posture purposefully relaxed, which was probably convincing to everyone but Amethyst, “Was making her scared part of your plan? Because if it was, you did it.”

  “I never meant-” Dylan sighed, throwing his head back and looking at the ceiling as if to say ‘What can you do?’, “-I didn’t mean to be scary.”

  “What the hell were you trying to do then?” Amethyst heard the bones in her hand creak, then a hand was being placed over her white knuckles. She glanced at Faye who was still looking at Dylan, then down at their joined hands.

  “I was trying to say it without saying it, you know?” Dylan tilted his head down again and smiled slightly, “Couldn’t take the chance that I was wrong. Plus,” His smile turned into a grin, “It’s not often you get to be all dark and mysterious.”

  Amethyst swallowed. He was talking about it so lightly, like being a werewolf wasn’t a big deal. It took herself and Faye a year to get that comfortable with the topic. Even then, Faye insisted on a stupid codename for it more often than not.

  The way Dylan said it- werewolf- made it sound like a normal part of his vocabulary. How long must he have known about it to be so comfortable? His deep brown eyes were still filled with light and laughter, and he was leant forward on his elbows as if the subject was interesting and exciting rather than filled with dread.

  By the looks of him, and the rapid thrum of his heartbeat, he found this fun. Fun. Remembering the other night, Amethyst was almost tempted to bring a hand to her neck, where the marks still were, but resisted.

  It seemed like Dylan noticed her falter, because his eyes flicked down to the table, where Amethyst’s and Faye’s hands were hidden beneath it.

  “How do you know?” Amethyst said eventually, knowing that the other two were waiting for it. After all, she was the reason they were here, no matter how insane that felt.

  “I had a friend,” Dylan pursed his lips, his eyes softening in to something akin to fondness instead of amusement, “He was born a wolf, and decided to tell me a few years into our friendship. I took it well, he was surprised, his family were surprised, God was probably surprised, and we took it from there. Made us stronger, really,” He casually picked up an apple from his tray and took a bite out of it, carrying on talking despite the food in his mouth, “He’s gone now, but I know a werewolf when I see one. I lived with some for a while,” His eyes meeting Amethyst’s, he smiled again, “It’s okay, I’m trustworthy, and I want to help.”