Marrying His Best Friend

by Jennifer Gracen

  He spoke quietly, almost shyly, as he finally told her how he’d fallen for her that first day they’d met. How they went out for burgers after class and as she talked, he just felt a click, a knowing, deep in his core… but she had a boyfriend. And he knew Jimmy, so he kept his growing crush to himself and let the friendship build, even though he fell for her a little more each day. Within a few weeks, he knew he was in love with her, but kept it to himself. And, over time, that love never wavered, only deepened.

  She stared at him, at his handsome face she knew so well, and found herself studying his features as if with new eyes. It was mind-blowing, the depth of his feelings. This sweet, sexy man was mad about her. Hearing him pour his heart out to her this way, even in drips and drabs, was fascinating. And she wondered… somewhere, deep down, she had to have known, right? Wasn’t that why she was so comfortable with him, in a way she wasn’t with anyone else? Why she adored and trusted him so completely?

  She’d always known she felt something for him that was unique, strong, and yes, even powerful. Had she been somewhat in love with him, too, but subconsciously squashed those feelings… along with all the feelings she’d squashed in herself when Niall made her feel like nothing? Because Aidan was a safe place. He always had been, both before Niall entered her life and after he’d left it, and she wasn’t willing to risk losing him for anything.

  She realized with a jolt that she could easily fall in love with him now… if she’d stop hiding. If she’d stop playing it so safe. If she’d take a leap of faith. Could she do it? Was she too damaged, was she capable?

  “Am I talking too much?” Aidan asked. The hesitance in his tone lanced her.

  “No, no,” she said, grasping his hand, so warm in hers. “I’m just trying to absorb it all. I want to hear everything. Talk to me all night.”

  He grinned and nodded slowly, squeezing her hand back as he took a sip of beer.

  This beautiful man was going to be more than her best friend. He was going to be her husband. Her partner in life. And dammit, he deserved love, affection, and passion as much as she did. She could give him all of those things. If she could just get over herself! If she could just stop being scared of it, brush aside the awkwardness about the physical part, and… an idea hit her.

  She drank down the rest of her pint and placed the glass on the table, welcoming the new buzz as her eyes glued to his face.

  “What’s up?” he asked, peering closer. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  Music played, people talked and laughed around them, glasses clinked and noise came from the telly, and the one wild thought in her mind had pushed out all others. Maybe it was that she was good and buzzed, and the liquid courage had her fired up. Maybe it was the overwhelming emotions she was wrestling with now as he confessed some of his long repressed feelings for her. Maybe it was as simple as she was a woman who’d been alone for too long, this gorgeous, sexy man had wanted her for years, and there was no man she trusted more.

  Maybe it didn’t matter why, but she wanted him, too. Right then, right at that moment, and the sudden incredible need was all consuming.

  “Aidan,” she said, her voice feeling thick in her throat. “Can we go somewhere else now?”

  His brows quirked up. “Sure. You have somewhere specific in mind, or do ya just—”

  “Take me to a hotel,” she said, her voice low. She met his surprised gaze with a steady one of her own. “There’s something I need you to do for me—with me, really—and we need to be alone.” She licked her suddenly dry lips. “Before I lose my nerve.”

  His jaw dropped as his eyes widened. She’d rarely seen him look so shocked, and a giggle slipped out of her. He reached for his glass, downed the rest of his stout in one long gulp, then stood, holding out a hand to her. His cheeks showed spots of high color, but his brilliant blue eyes sparkled with anticipation. “Let’s go.”

  *

  They walked a few blocks until Aidan led her into a small hotel, not too fancy but lovely and modest. Maura asked him to get them a room for the night, which made his eyes almost bulge out of his head.

  “Be right back,” she said, still grinning madly at his astounded expression.

  As he spoke to the employee behind the main desk, she headed to the small gift shop across the lobby. She hadn’t felt this empowered in a long time. Yes, she’d had a few drinks and that helped her throw some of her usual mental self-restraints to the wind, but… not being afraid of having something with Aidan was the way to go. She felt that deep in her bones, and she was… excited. Giddy with it, actually.

  When she met Aidan in the center of the lobby five minutes later, his hands were stuffed in his pockets and his eyes were bright and filled with mirth. “What are you up to, Missy?”

  “You’ll see soon enough.” She flashed a grin and kissed his cheek. “We have a room?”

  “Yes indeed.”

  “I texted my mum to tell her we might stay out all night. So…” She looked up at him and intertwined her fingers with his. “Shall we?”

  *

  Aidan felt like his breath was stuck in his chest as they took the lift to the fourth floor, then walked down the hall to the room he’d gotten. He didn’t know exactly what Maura had in mind, but he had an idea of what it might be, and that thought had his blood rushing through his veins. He felt hyperaware of every sound, every touch.

  He slipped the keycard into the slot, opened the door, and stood aside for her to enter the room. It was small, with just a king sized bed, one long wooden dresser, and a cozy looking chair in the corner by the only window, but it was clean and decorated in appealing earth tones.

  He flipped the lights on, but she flipped them right off. His brow furrowed as he looked down at her in question. “Em?”

  “I’m still shy…” She moved close, slipping her arms around his waist and holding him.

  His arms immediately banded about her and he let his chin rest on top of her soft hair. He wondered if she could feel the way his heart was pounding.

  They stood there holding each other in silence for what felt like much longer than a minute before she said quietly against his chest, “So… well…”

  He realized that whatever she was about to say, it was easier for her to do so in the dark, without looking him in the eye yet. His hand swept up and down her back in slow, gentle sweeps as he waited for her to continue.

  “I haven’t had sex in five years,” she finally blurted.

  His eyes slipped closed as his heart clenched. “Sweetheart, it’s okay.”

  “Just listen. I want—no, need you to do something for me.” She took a deep breath; her torso expanded from it in his embrace. “I need to, well… I need to get that awkward as hell first time over with, so I can just get back in the game, you know? And I’m asking you to do that for me. With me…” She finally pulled her head back to meet his gaze.

  In the shadowy light, he could see the nervousness, the trepidation… but also a spark of something in her eyes he’d never seen before when she looked at him. Was that desire? Holy hell, it was.

  “I want to be with you, Aidan. Now. Let’s just do this, and the times after that can be about beauty or whatever.” She cleared her throat. She was so hesitant but pushing through, and he loved her for it all the more. “I trust you more than anyone. So can you do that for me? I know it must sound mad, but—”

  He lowered his mouth to hers, silencing her with a tender kiss as he cradled her head in his hands. He kissed her slowly, sweetly, letting her get used to the feel of him. There was no rush. They had all night, and a quiet, private place to themselves. No interruptions, no problems… heaven on earth.

  “I’d be honored to make love to you,” he whispered reverently against her lips. She shivered and it made his heart skip a beat. “But I don’t have protection. I’ll just run out and—”

  “Daft boy,” she whispered back wickedly. “Why do you think I went to the gift shop?” She gestured with a flick of he
r chin towards the paper bag she’d tossed onto the bed when they’d entered the room.

  “Damn, you’re brilliant,” he said with a quick smile before he took her mouth in a deep, sumptuous kiss.

  They stood there kissing for a few minutes, relaxing into it, learning each other’s rhythm, easing into the new dynamic between them. His mind was racing, every nerve ending lit and aware. For years, he’d wished she was his lover. Years. He couldn’t count all the ways he’d imagined her in his arms, in his bed… beneath him, or on top of him, or… this was a dream come true. One of the most precious dreams he’d ever harbored. And she’d asked him to take her, trusted him to handle her needs and wants, to be with her… desire flamed through him as she arched her body to press closer, tighter against him. The kisses grew hotter now, the sparks of passion lit and burning brighter. Never letting go of her or ceasing his kisses, he edged her carefully backwards towards the bed.

  His eyes had adjusted to the dark room, and there was enough soft light streaming from outside through the window that he could see her as he eased her to lay on the mattress. She was lying in his arms, ready to become his lover… it was surreal. Her long hair spread out beneath her as her head hit the pillow, and he brushed it back from her face with tenderness.

  “Don’t be nervous with me, okay?” he whispered. “No one loves you more than I do.”

  Her eyes widened at his soft declaration. “I trust you completely, or I wouldn’t have agreed to any of what we’re doing. I thought you knew that.” She reached up to caress his cheek. “I’ve been scared of it… what we’re doing, building. What this could actually be. But you know what? I’m tired of being scared. You’re the best. I’m throwing it all in.”

  “That’s my girl.” He smiled warmly and brushed his lips against hers. A shudder ran through her and he rubbed her arm. “Jump to me, Em. I’ll catch you. I swear.”

  “I know you will,” she whispered breathlessly, and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Because you always have.” Their eyes locked. So much was said in that moment as they gazed into each other’s eyes… it overwhelmed him.

  “I love you,” he whispered, then took her mouth with his so he wouldn’t have to bear the few awkward seconds of her not returning the sentiment. He kissed her deeply as his hands started to roam over body, at long last.

  She was so soft, so perfect. Her skin was like velvet, her scent sweet and inviting. He took his time, both to savor the moments of finally being with her this way, and to let her get used to being with him. Best friends or not, this new dynamic was exciting and strange. He wanted her to absorb the feel of his hands on her body, aiming to build her desire until she’d stop thinking completely, let go and only feel. From the sounds of her sighs and soft moans as he explored her, she was definitely enjoying his touch. She wanted it as much as he did, and that thrilled him.

  “Let me take the lead for now,” he murmured, nipping her ear as he did. “Let me bring you there the first time…” His tongue trailed along her neck and her breath hitched. “I’ll make you feel good… so good… all for you.”

  “Okay.” She nodded willingly and blushed. “I’m sorry if I’m not, ehm… I think I’m a little rusty.”

  The shyness in her voice made his heart squeeze. “You’re doing just fine, love. More than fine.” He kissed her lightly, then traced her features with his lips, with his fingers. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

  “I do?”

  “Yesssss.” He nudged his erection against her hip as obvious evidence, and she smiled with a mixture of delight and relief. “Right,” he said with a wink. “So just relax.”

  “Thank you for… all of this,” she whispered. “You’re being so sweet with me. I knew you would be.”

  He kissed her with all the love in his heart, hoping she felt even a tenth of it. “If I do anything you don’t like, tell me.”

  “I doubt that’ll happen,” she said, grinning.

  He grinned back, then lowered his mouth to hers.

  He worked to hold himself back, setting a sensuous, lazy pace for both of them. They kissed for a long time, luxuriating in the feel of each other, letting their hands roam wherever they wanted to go. He caressed her over her blouse, the smoothness of the silk aiding his movements. His mouth left hers to trail down her neck, her throat, until he moved the material aside to kiss the patch of skin between her small, perfect breasts. He gently bit her nipple through her top and she gasped, arching her back to give him more. Her fingers plowed through his hair as his hands slipped beneath her top to feel her soft skin, running up her sides to caress and fondle her. After a few seconds, impatient for more, she sat up, whipped off her top, and tossed it across the room.

  Then she reached to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt eagerly with trembling fingers. He watched her, his breath stuck in his lungs. She spread his shirt open and ran her hands tentatively over his smooth chest.

  “Good lord, you’re a handsome man,” she said on a breath.

  “Glad to hear ya think so.”

  “I always have! But seeing you like this… it’s different.”

  “It is that.” He pulled off his shirt and threw it to the floor.

  Her hands travelled over his shoulders, his arms, his chest… again he eased her onto her back, once more exploring her body with his mouth and hands.

  “Didja wear this special for me?” he inquired as he reached around to unhook her lacy black bra.

  “Maybe,” she teased.

  “You’re wicked.” He removed the bra deftly, tossing it over his shoulder with a wolfish grin. “The bra is gorgeous, but you’re more so.”

  She started to reply, but when his mouth closed over her nipple, all that came from her lips was a soft moan. Her fingers clenched in his hair as he lavished attention on one breast, than the other. Her hips rose and ground against his with restless need.

  “Aidan,” she whispered, “we’re going to be married. So we’ll have all the time in the world for making love, aye?”

  He moaned against her skin. “You’re killin’ me. But yes. Why?”

  “Don’t go slowly with me now,” she whispered. “Just…” She shrugged, almost shy again. “I need you. So just…”

  “Shhhhh.” Understanding, he moved up to cradle her face and kiss her deeply. Her arms entwined around his neck, holding him close.

  “Keep holding onto me,” he ground out in a raspy whisper against her ear. “This one’s all yours.”

  As he licked and nibbled on her skin, his hands made quick work of her jeans, shimmying them down her legs. She raised her hips to help him, then kicked them off.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered as his hands trailed up her legs, her thighs. “But I think I need you naked now.” He dragged her lacy panties down her legs and she kicked those off, too.

  There wasn’t much light in the room, just what streamed in from behind the gauzy curtains. But, good God, he had to look at her, naked in his arms for the first time. His hungry gaze took her in, sweeping over the length of her body.

  “Nothing but freckles,” she quipped, her light joke not belying her nervousness.

  “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known,” he murmured in husky reverence. “I’ve dreamed of seeing you like this so many times…” His fingers started at her collarbone, drifting down the middle of her torso, heading lower.

  Her hands tightened around his neck and her eyes fastened to his before he kissed her, ravishing her mouth, the heat between them rising. He brushed her mound with a feather’s touch and she moaned into his mouth. Still kissing her, he slipped a finger between her folds to find her already warm and wet for him. Her back arched and she cried out.

  “That’s it,” he whispered, kissing her neck, nibbling the soft skin by her ear. “Let yourself go, love.” He added a second finger and began to work her slowly. “You need this so bad…”

  “I do,” she whispered back, her hips rolling. “Oh, God, Aidan, that feels so good
.”

  He kissed her again, sealing his mouth to hers as his fingers began moving faster inside her. She was so responsive; her shyness fell away as she got lost in her passion. Watching her face and hearing her sighs and moans made his blood rush through his veins. He was so turned on, all he wanted was to strip off his jeans, climb on top of her, and plunge deep inside her liquid heat.

  But, no, she needed this. She needed to get the first orgasm out of the way; she’d all but begged him for that. And, by God, he’d deliver it to her.

  “Watching you like this is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my whole life,” he whispered in her ear as his fingers continued to move. Softly whimpering, her arms stayed locked around his neck as she buried her face in the crook of it. She kissed his skin, her hot breath against him, panting now. He picked up the pace, moving faster inside her, deeper… she was so wet, it amazed him.

  “I’m too close.” She gasped against his neck.

  “Good. Go with it, love.” He hovered over her, watching intently, mesmerized.

  Her eyes were closed, lips parted, as her hips moved with the erotic rhythm he’d set.

  “Feel it building… that’s it… you gorgeous woman, I love watching you like this.”

  “Oh, my God.” She gasped out.

  Her fingers clutched at him. He moved his thumb up to rub her clit as his fingers worked fast and deep inside her, and she cried out, her breath caught on a low, rough moan.

  “Let go,” he said in her ear, biting it, bringing another moan from her. “Come on, love.” He pressed harder, moved even faster, and watched her face. “Let go for me,” he commanded seductively. “Now.”

  She let out a lusty shout as the orgasm rocked her body. He didn’t cease, working her hard as she moaned and gasped, his other arm holding her tight as her body stiffened and shuddered beneath him. He kissed her over and over as his fingers slowed, as her hips stopped rolling, as she floated back to earth.