Whispering Nickel Idols gf-11

by Glen Cook

  “That your case?”

  “That’s not what it’s about. It’s just something I need to understand.”

  “Is Temisk working you by claiming you owe Chodo?”

  “Some. I need to work that out, too.”

  “Walk away. Stop being you. Save yourself the pain and grief.”

  “You know anything about these people who’ve been catching on fire?”

  “No. That part of your case, too?”

  “I don’t think so. I just wondered. Never hurts to ask you something. You’re full up on weird and wonderful. And sometimes, you tell me what you know.”

  “Weird and wonderful, he says. And he’s the one shacking up with a dead thing and a talking rat.”

  “And Dean. And a bucket of baby cats. I think I’ll bring those with me tonight. Give them away.”

  “There’s an original idea. Giving away kittens at a mob summit. The one guy who takes one will feed it to his pet anaconda.”

  “An idea whose time has come. Feed all the cats to the snakes. Singe would go along.”

  “Then what do you do with the snakes? They like rats more than cats.”

  “Know anything about a street kid, calls himself Penny Dreadful?”

  “I know he needs to find another name if he doesn’t like being smacked around. Otherwise, no. Why?”

  “He’s really a girl pretending to be a boy. And Dean’s source for the bucket of kittens. He has a majorly strange story about the kid.”

  “Strange stories about people in your life? Fie! Balderdash!”

  “Sarcasm doesn’t become you, sir. Considering you’re one of the main people in my life. And definitely one of the strangest.”

  “I’m the standard against which everyone else is measured.”

  “You hang in there. I’ll go for help.” I eyed the front door, inches away. My chances of making it looked better than they had. “How’s your love life?” I cackled evilly, then fled.

  Why is another story, already told.

  9

  “Hey!”

  A rock whizzed past my ear. It hit Morley’s door so hard it bashed a hole in a panel.

  Dotes bounced out beside me, looking ferocious. “What happened?” he asked.

  “Somebody took a whack at me with a sling.” I assumed. How else throw a rock that hard?

  “Primitive.”

  “But effective if you aren’t ready for it.”

  “Who was it? Where did he go?”

  “I’m pretty sure it was that chunky guy over there. Wearing the stupid green pants. The one so busy looking nonchalant.” This one looked like the runt of the Ugly Pants litter. He was hard at work pretending to be interested in the gaps between buildings and the shadows under stoops.

  “Stay here. He might want you to follow him. I’ll round up a crowd. He owes me a door.” Dotes went back inside.

  I collected the stone that, but for an instant of luck, might have knocked another hole in my noggin. You need a couple extra to get into my racket, but I wasn’t prospecting for more.

  The stone had a slight egg shape, being an inch and a quarter in one dimension and just under an inch in the other. It was heavy. It was green, like serpentine or low-grade jade. And it was polished. It didn’t look like something a guy would pick up strolling down a creek bed.

  Morley returned with some of his troops. I said, “This might be a trick to get you away from The Palms.”

  “I warned Sarge and Puddle. Where did he go?”

  “Turned south into Ironstar Lane.”

  “Let’s go spring the trap,” Morley said. Very direct, my friend.

  “You’re too eager. You make me nervous when you’re eager.”

  “I ever mention that you worry too much?”

  “Only on those occasions when I’m close enough to hear you talk.”

  We jogged off with half a dozen guys who pretend to be servers at Morley’s place, none the sort who wait tables because they love the work.

  Dotes insists that he’s out of the life now, yet persists in surrounding himself with men like these.

  I worry, what with the dedication shown by the secret police lately. Deal Relway doesn’t worry about due process. In his own mind, he is the law. Too often, those left behind will agree that you had it coming.

  Nevertheless, the underworld goes on. As strong and committed and obsessed as Relway is, he isn’t able to do much but nibble at the Outfit’s peripheries.

  We turned into Ironstar Lane. And came to a many-legged, confused halt.

  The character who’d tried to trepan me with a stone wasn’t a block ahead. He ambled along, searching shadows, like he had no idea somebody might chase him down.

  “What’s the game here, Garrett? That moron is toddling along like he doesn’t have a care.”

  “You can’t hold me responsible because somebody else is an idiot.”

  “It’s arguable. Sins of the blood and all that stuff.” He came close to using bad language.

  I asked, “Instead of standing around debating, why don’t we take advantage?”

  Morley signaled his boys. We moved out.

  Traffic was light, but that’s normal in Ironstar Lane. There aren’t any shops.

  We surrounded the squat man before he realized someone was after him. His response was bewilderment. For an instant I thought I’d fingered the wrong guy. Like all of a sudden everybody in TunFaire had taken to wearing hideous green pants, and bad fashion sense wasn’t a sure sign of innate villainy.

  Then he charged, went right through one of Morley’s boys.

  “Wow!” I said.

  “Yes. Be careful.”

  The squat man didn’t run. He did make it unpleasant to get too close. At intimate range he was quicker than Morley, who, till now, had held the record. In my experience. And he was strong. He flung me thirty feet, easy.

  We took turns bopping him from behind. Which was kind of like bull baiting, only this bull never made a sound. He didn’t answer questions. He just fought on, emphasizing doing damage to Ma Garrett’s only surviving son.

  We outnumbered him only eight to one so it was our great good fortune that police whistles began squealing in nearby streets. We broke it up immediately. Nobody wanted to visit the Al-Khar. Not today.

  As though there’s any good day now.

  “That was exhilarating,” Morley said as we inventoried limbs, combed cobblestones out of our hair, and figured out who got bragging rights for suffering the biggest bruises. “If I’m alive in the morning, I’m going to give that guy another look. With Doris and Marsha doing the heavy lifting.”

  Doris and Marsha Roze are relatives of his. Somehow. They’re part giant, part troll, part other stuff. They stand twelve feet tall and can bring down small buildings with a single pound. Too bad they weren’t along a few minutes ago.

  “Why not? There must be another ten thousand streets that could use a good dusting.” It’s rare as frog fangs to see Morley Dotes all dirty and spiffed up in rags. “I wish I could preserve this vision for posterity.”

  “I’ll put on old clothes next time. Get back to me on this.”

  He was upset. I wasn’t sure why. You can’t win them all.

  “I’ll do that. Good luck tonight.”

  10

  “What happened?” Dean demanded as he let me into the house.

  “Somebody tried to kill me.”

  He grunted, unimpressed.

  “You should see the other guy.”

  He grunted again. He has no respect for my way of life, though it keeps him full of bread and beans.

  “Not a scratch on him. Even though I had Morley and six of his guys there lending a hand. We would’ve turned it around, though, if the Watch hadn’t shown up.”

  That was for Singe’s benefit. She’d come to the kitchen to find out what was up. She had a kitten in her paws, petting it. The baby cat didn’t mind the incongruity.

  I asked, “Think you could pick up a day-old trail usin
g this?” I tossed her the green egg.

  “Gak! Underwater. What was it? A bear or an ogre?”

  Singe has a talent.

  Ratpeople are blessed with an exceptional sense of smell. Some can embarrass a bloodhound. Singe stands out of that crowd.

  As noted, she’s a genius. For a ratwoman. And has more courage than ten other ratpeople put together. Excluding only her brother.

  Even the most daring and wicked ratfolk get scared around humans. The sorcerers who created them saw no need to take that timidity out.

  “He was human. From one of the far fringes of the species.”

  “What did he do?”

  “He tried to kill me. With an old-fashioned sling. Using that egg for ammunition.”

  “Bathing would not appear to be one of his human vices.”

  I told Dean, “That tongue gets more wicked every day.”

  Dean scowled. He can’t shed all his prejudices. Singe bounced, though, pleased by the compliment. She has one great character flaw. She tries hard to be human.

  She’s smart enough to know they’ll never let her be.

  “Why a day-old trail?”

  “I don’t have time today. I have Chodo’s birthday party to do.”

  “Who are you taking? Tinnie?”

  “Nobody.”

  “Can I go?”

  “No. I’m not taking anybody. It could get ugly fast. I don’t want anybody getting hurt.” Not to mention that she wouldn’t be welcome. Virulent prejudice can be ignored only at great peril. Particularly by persons of goodwill.

  Singe knows that on the practical and emotional levels. She doesn’t let on when she gets her feelings hurt. She thinks that by revealing her feelings, she’d belittle my effort to save her some pain.

  I know. But it works for us.

  I asked, “Anything stirring on the undead front?”

  If the Dead Man hates any one thing enough to almost let it get his blood pumping, it’s being lumped with the undead. Vampires, zombies, and whatnot are all predators. He insists that he isn’t.

  “Not a sign,” Dean said. “Looks like he’s down for a while this time.”

  That wasn’t good news. I could use some advice. Like maybe the top ten ways of surviving Chodo’s shindig, barring the obvious: Don’t show up.

  When you have no choice about hiking the valley of the shadow, you need to brainstorm ways to cover your ass. I got busy.

  I had options. I had connections. Some might even be useful.

  Singe’s brother, for example.

  I recalled a conversation with Morley about the truth of what I mean to Belinda Contague. Not the business meaning. Not the former-lover meaning, nor the outright-fear meaning. The symbolic or fetishist meaning to the secret, frightened little girl hidden way down deep inside Miss Belinda. The little girl who, Morley believed, wanted me for the daddy she hadn’t had when she was coming up because her real daddy was Chodo Contague, hardly a paragon as a parent.

  I’ve rescued the woman, one way or another, from the deepest shit several times. Morley says she’s chosen me as the bellwether of her personal fortunes because of that. That she’ll never let me be hurt because the little girl needs Daddy Garrett out there in case another terror closes in.

  “Singe. I’ve got an idea. Maybe a dumb one. Come in the office and help me brainstorm.”

  “What’s up?” she asked, hissing like a sack of rattlers as she forced the contraction.

  “You think your brother might help us with something? If we offer him an appropriate fee? I know! I know! But you had the same mother. Humans figure that makes him your brother.”

  John Stretch-real name, Pound Humility-is the boss of the ratpeople in my part of TunFaire. He’s top rat partly thanks to me. He’s Singe’s half brother from an earlier litter. They have a stronger relationship than most related ratfolk. He tried to rescue her from my clutches one time. She spanked him verbally and told him to go the hell away-she was happy right where she was.

  “I do not know. He suspects that you took advantage of him last time.”

  “I understand a pride problem. You know better than me if we can do business.”

  “What do you want him to do?”

  “This party tonight. He could help me with it. If he really talks to regular rats.”

  Singe considered. We both knew John Stretch could get inside the minds of regular rats and use them as spies. He had admitted it in front of us.

  “You want him to go over to the place where Chodo Contague’s birthday party is going to happen.”

  “Yes.” But now my idea was growing up. “If we could hide him close by, he could stay on the job right through the party and warn me so there wouldn’t be any ugly surprises.”

  “You might not be able to meet his price.”

  “I’m not hurting for cash.”

  “He will not ask for cash.” I groaned. “A favor for a favor.”

  “What use can you be to a ratman gangster?” A human agent could be very useful to a rat king who knew what he wanted.

  “You want me to find him? You do not have a lot of time.”

  In fact, it was too late. Almost certainly. Nevertheless, “See what you can do.”

  Singe was ready to go in minutes. I told her, “Leave the kitten. It won’t be welcome where you’re headed.”

  She returned the critter to the bucket. “They grow on you.”

  “So do lice. Don’t get too attached. They aren’t staying.”

  I let Singe out right into a major pixie squabble. Those bugs are worse than sparrows. But they’re so constant about it that I don’t much notice anymore.

  I told them, “I want to talk to Shakespear and Melondie Kadare, please.” Polite helps a little. Sometimes. Unpredictably. About as often as it does with big people.

  If I couldn’t get ratpeople help, I might enlist some pixies. Which would be cheaper, anyway, since helping me is how they’re supposed to pay their rent.

  Melondie Kadare came out, a gorgeous specimen of pixie womanhood. Sadly, pixies live fast. Melondie will hit middle age in about six months. She was a typically obnoxious adolescent when I met her, a month ago. Now she was a woman of standing in her nest.

  She piped, “Shakespear isn’t here anymore, Garrett. He married a Daletripses. He decided to join her nest.”

  Pixie clusters are strongly matrilineal. Most times the boys follow the girls.

  “Congratulations. I guess. That’s an important connection.” My pixies are newcomers to TunFaire. Refugees. The Daletripses cluster is an old line, as local pixie tribes go. A marital alliance would serve my tenants well. “Though I thought that you and he…”

  “Let’s not talk about that. I have a husband of my own now. And he don’t like hearing about the good old days.”

  “I’m sorry. If that’s the appropriate sentiment.”

  “Not to worry. He’s a little stupid, a lot lazy, and way too jealous, but I’ll whip him into shape.”

  Marriage doesn’t take the same form with pixies. Passion is unimportant. Forging alliances and preserving estates are. Passion gets indulged on the side. In some clusters a girl isn’t marriage material unless she’s demonstrated her fertility with several merrybegots.

  “I want to know if I can get some help with a case.”

  “Hey! We’ve got to pay the rent, don’t we?”

  “It might be dangerous.”

  “Talk to me, Garrett.”

  I told my story.

  “So you have a history with the Contagues.”

  “More than one.”

  “Better tell me about that, then. It could have an impact on how decisions are made at the head table.”

  Belinda wouldn’t let sentiment hamstring business decisions. She was harder than her father. And Chodo seldom let emotion get in the way.

  “This hall, Garrett. Where this will happen. Is it far out of our territory?”

  “You know where the Bledsoe is? The charity hospital? That whole
area was all government buildings in olden times. When the Empire was in charge. The hall is over there. It was something else before they turned it into a war memorial. They were more frugal in the old days.”

  “Are there any pixies around there? Or anybody else who might think we’re trespassing?”

  TunFaire is a hundred cities piled onto the same hapless patch of dirt, a different one for every race. Some peoples are so different, their TunFaires scarcely intersect. More often, they do, and only us big, numerous types don’t need to invest in getting along. We can be as awful as we want to be. And usually are.

  “I don’t know. I only just found out that the shindig is moving there from Morley’s place. I haven’t been in that part of town since somebody got me committed to the crazy ward at the Bledsoe.”

  “That must’ve been an adventure. How’d you lie your way out? Convince them you were sane?”

  “I convinced them I was so crazy they didn’t want me there.”

  “There isn’t much time. You’ll have to take us with you when you go. Keeping us out of sight.”

  That wouldn’t work. I couldn’t walk for miles lugging a carpetbag full of squabbling pixies.

  Melondie read my mind. So to speak. “Don’t be such a cheap-ass, Garrett. Hire a coach. We can get there unseen. And you can show up without looking like a refugee yourself.” Everybody nags me about the way I dress. Nobody believes me if I poor-mouth. They all think I’m rich. Just because I have those points in the three-wheel factory.

  Melondie’s idea was sound. “Can somebody fly a note to Playmate’s stable?” My friend Playmate doesn’t have a coach of his own, but he can come up with one at a moment’s notice, usually. And I like to give my business to friends. Plus, as a bonus, Playmate is about nine feet tall and handy to have around when a debate turns physical.

  “I suppose.” She wasn’t enthusiastic. Long-distance flights are risky for pixies. Too many things out there think they look like food.

  “Excellent. I’ll write one up and we can get the circus moving.”

  I spied Singe returning. A couple human kids were giving her a hard time. I didn’t go chase them. She wouldn’t like that. She wants to fight her own battles.