Bad Friend

by Carmen Falcone

  “Brit, don’t quit on me. You know how much I hate quitters.” His father had quit on he and his mother. His wife had left him without much thought. Yet the idea of losing Brit was like jumping into a dark hole, and leaving him lost and disoriented. “You told me you love me.”

  “I love you, but not enough to give up doing on what’s right. No one should have to do that.”

  “You’re using excuses. You’re scared. We have a challenge with her being here, yes, but together we can fix this.”

  “I don’t want to. We’re done.” She lowered her voice.

  We’re done. Her words reverberated through him, each syllable a new dagger to his heart. “How dare you? You come into my life, make my believe again, I open up, and you leave at the first obstacle?” he said, not caring who heard him. Not caring about anything other than telling her how he felt—because that was what she’d fucking taught him how to do. “One of us isn’t ready for love, Brit, but that isn’t me.”

  Damian walked through the kitchen, tossing the car keys in a bowl. He’d had the longest day of his life. He’d lost Brit, then had to go back for a surgery and leave his feelings in the scrubbing room. But now, exhausted and depressed, the emotions filled him with double rawness. How could this have happened? They were doing so well.

  He loved her—and admitted to it. Hell, when he dated Violet, he told her he loved her after two years of dating. He didn’t use those words loosely like most people. Perhaps Brit had. Perhaps she didn’t return his love, otherwise she wouldn’t have shut him out without much fanfare. Like what they shared hadn’t meant much to her.

  He grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge and twisted the cap off. What he needed was some intravenously stiff liquor to numb him into sleep, but he didn’t want to. Amanda still woke up at night, and preferred him to soothe her over her mother, who remained in the guest room.

  “Long day?” Violet asked, showing from the living area. “I just got the kids to go to bed.”

  “Good.”

  “You know, I’ll start thinking of my life. I can’t expect to live here forever,” she said, glancing around the kitchen. “I’ll find a job and get my own place.”

  He rubbed his temples. It all sounded great, but after what she had put him through, he’d have to see it to believe it. As long as she stuck around for the children, he’d support her.

  “If you’re serious about working and getting back on your feet, I can set you up to live somewhere.”

  “Are you serious? I mean, I wasn’t—”

  “We will be divorced, Violet. Now you’re here, we can sign the papers and iron out the details. You’ll have the kids for whatever amount of time I see fit,” he said. Even if she went after fifty-fifty custody, he’d make sure she was in a good place before spending so much time with Amanda and Trevor. “You’ll need a safe environment for when the kids are with you.”

  “You would help me get settled after all I’ve put you through?”

  He shrugged. Of course he would. She was the mother of his children, and for what it was worth, he believed her story. She deserved a second chance—not as a wife, but as a mother. But if she proved him wrong, he wouldn’t hesitate to fight her in court. “Yeah.”

  “All right. I’ll sign the divorce papers.” She gave him a once over. “You’re kinder these days. What made you change?”

  He picked the beer again and chugged it down. It tasted sour.

  “Or should I ask, who made you change?” She lifted her chin. “If I had to guess, I’d say her name is Brittany Jean Russell.”

  13

  Brit slurped the rest of her fruity drink, leaning back on the corner booth she shared with Lara and Nikki. The two friend exchanged glances, then Lara angled closer. That morning, the contact from the convention had called her about her sample, interested in meeting about a deal. She’d been given the name of a manufacturing company and distributor along with a promised contract to invest in her line of cosmetics. She should have been over the moon, but the heaviness from saying goodbye to Damian kept following her anywhere she went. It stuck in her throat like an invisible object, and the more she swallowed, the rawer her reality became.

  “Have you talked to Violet yet?” she asked.

  Had she? Yes and no. She’d been the first one to see Violet when she’d returned a week prior. But Brit knew that wasn’t what Lara referred to. The underlying question was, Did you tell her you slept with her husband?

  “Not yet,” Brit said.

  The three of them had gone for lunch the day before, but thankfully Brit had to work so she used that excuse not to go. She rubbed her temples, feeling the throb. Ever since Damian had visited her at the mall, she’d had a hard time concentrating. How could she? He’d thrown words at her that made sense, but she wasn’t done digesting them yet.

  Maybe he had a point about her being scared of fully living a relationship. She had been courageous and forthcoming when Violet wasn’t in the picture, but now that she represented a threat, Brit didn’t want to take the risk. Or worse, she wanted everyone to be happy.

  Everyone but me.

  “You don’t look good,” Lara said.

  “Thanks.” Brit threw a small piece of sourdough bread at her, which Lara successfully dodged.

  Nikki played with the straw in her cup of water. “I was worried for you when I heard about you and Damian. I didn’t want you to get hurt.” She smiled a little. “But now it makes sense… Damian and Violet were too similar in some ways. You brought a change to him that she never managed to do.”

  Brit glanced at the crushed ice in her glass. “I appreciate it, I do, but the fact is—”

  She started, but when she lifted her gaze to her friends’ she caught a glimpse of a familiar figure walking in their direction. Her heart thrummed. Violet.

  With each step Violet took, the tension in her body grew until she rubbed the back of her neck to alleviate some of the kinks. Didn’t help much, but what else could she do? Run? Tell them she had to use the restroom? She’d have to keep facing Violet, and at some point her friend would know Brit was avoiding her.

  “Hi, ladies,” Violet said. “Brit, may I have a word with you?”

  Fuck. She already noticed I’ve been mum on the group chat. Not to mention, ever since that day at their house, she hadn’t checked in with Violet or commented on any of her texts.

  “Sure. I’ve been wanting to check that new vintage shop next door that opened,” Lara said, scooting out of the booth. “Wanna come?” She touched Nikki’s elbow.

  Nikki quickly nodded. “Of course. See you guys soon.”

  The two of them made a swift exit, leaving Brit and Violet. Violet slid into the booth across from Brit.

  Brit sucked in a breath. “How’s it going? How does it feel to be back?” she asked. Damn it, she’d been selfish with her own reasons to keep her distance from Violet. How had her friend deal with coming back to her home, kids and, hhmmm, husband after so long? Brit swallowed. “Are you okay?” She fought the need to reach across the table and squeeze her hand.

  The waiter came and jotted down Violet’s order.

  “I guess you remember the menu,” Brit said when the waiter left. “Some things don’t change, huh?”

  “Yeah. While others do,” Violet said. “I know about you and Damian.”

  The overpriced nachos she had earlier threaten to float up her throat and make an unfortunate appearance. Fully aware the blood must have drained from her face, she looked at her friend. “Yes,” she said with a measure of dignity. Hell, even if Violet ripped her a new one, at least she’d be honest with her. “How did you find out?”

  The waiter brought Violet’s glass of wine, and the trepidation only increased. Brit drew in a long breath, threading her fingers together. Shit. She’d lost the man, and now would probably lose the friend over it—what if she never got to see Amanda and Trevor again? Sadness cooled her bloodstream. She’d miss the children. Oh, what a mess…

  T
he waiter finally left, and Brit was about to ask her question again, when Violet shifted in her seat and parted her lips. “I picked up on things. The way he acted around you, and how much Amanda talked about you helping out. Also, what a coincidence you were both out of town during the same weekend.”

  God, she must hate me. “I’m so sorry, Violet. I feel like a friend fraud,” she said, tears brimming her eyelids. Behind her eyes, heat pricked her nerves. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

  “I know you wouldn’t want to hurt me.” Violet’s small smile reached her eyes, her baby blues sparkling. “You’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.”

  “Thanks but now that compliments only makes me feel worse.” Why do you have to be sweet and nice? It would be much easier if you acted like a bitch right now. But Brit knew her friend wasn’t a bitch. She was smart, compassionate and reliable.

  “How do you feel about him?”

  Brit glanced around them before replying, “You realize this conversation is beyond weird, right?”

  “The least you can give me is honesty.”

  “I love him,” she said without a doubt. Why deny at this point? Shivers of awareness trickled down her spine. “I didn’t mean to. I was looking for a boyfriend, but not him. Then one day, something unlocked inside of me, and it just happened.”

  Violet’s eyes darkened. She lifted her drink to her lips and took a sip.

  “I’m the first one to admit we shouldn’t be together,” Brit said. “I don’t want to mess with your marriage now you’re back, and I promise you don’t have to worry about me going around your back,” she said truthfully. She’d have to skip events where Damian would attend at first, like birthday parties and stuff, but she would do whatever needed to give Violet a new shot at her marriage. Even if that twisted, slowly, a knife in her chest.

  A tear rolled down her cheek and before she could wipe it, others followed. She pressed the napkin to her face, willing herself to calm down. A rush of blood traveled through her, and it felt like her body threw a fit worse than the ones Libby did when she’d been a toddler.

  Violet reached over the table and gave her hand a squeeze, which only wrecked her even more. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “He loves you too.”

  Brit swallowed the lump in her throat. She looked at her friend, tilting her head as if to make sure she’d heard her correctly. She caught an emotion layered in Violet’s eyes, tucked in the depths of her irises, but couldn’t quite read it. Regret? Honesty? “Why are you telling me this?” Did she want to deepen the knife in her chest or remove it swiftly? Either option would devastate Brit.

  “Because I’d hate to be in the way of your happiness.”

  Wasn’t that what I said too? “I appreciate you for saying that, but—”

  Violet held her hand up. “Listen, I’m not an idiot. I know I messed with everyone’s lives by leaving like the way I did. I’m trying to make amends. I need to see Damian happy, and I need to see you happy.”

  “Do you still love him?”

  Violet sighed. “No. Our marriage was over well before I left. He’s a good guy, but we didn’t work together as a couple and it took me long enough to see it.”

  “But the kids…”

  “I already explained to Amanda that we’ll co-parent and I’m not leaving her again even if I’m no longer married to her father.”

  Brit clasped the edge of the table, imagining how sweet Amanda would receive the news. During that dinner with them, Brit could tell Amanda enjoyed seeing her parents together again. “How did she take it?”

  “She asked some questions, and I think she’s insecure about me not leaving her again… which has nothing to do with you and Damian. She loves you. I need time to show her I’m not going anywhere,” Violet said, an edge in her voice. The pulse at the base of her throat visibly jumped, and Brit’s chest squeezed for her friend. Violet would have a long road to earn back her daughter’s trust.

  “Hey,” Brit said, prompting her to look at her. “You’re not. I know it.”

  Violet smiled a little. “Good. So give Damian a call and get it sorted out.”

  Brit glanced down at her phone. He’d been so mad at her, perhaps he wouldn’t even pick it up. She wouldn’t blame him—after they connected, she’d fought for every ounce of him. Then, let him go, after he had offered her all he had to give. “Hmmm… I don’t know if a call will do. He went to my work and laid out his feelings for me, and I turned him down flat.”

  Violet leaned back on the booth. “He did? Wow, I’m impressed. He’s not that kind of guy.”

  He is, for me. “Yeah. It broke my heart to break his.” An image of him when he’d come to see her unraveled in her mind, and she sucked in a breath. When he’d left her, resentment filled his expression.

  Violet squared her shoulders, challenge flickering in her eyes. “So how are you going to fix it?”

  Damian shut the door of his car, and walked through his garage. Another long day, and he couldn’t wait to see Amanda and Trevor. Seeing them would be the highlight of another boring day.

  If anyone told him he’d be this depressed after nailing the investment, he’d have laughed at their faces. But he couldn’t change his reality. He’d have to move on without Brit. Soon, he’d contact Bill and explain she would no longer be involved in their project, as Bill had previously demanded.

  Most likely, he’d asked her then to be a part of it because he’d wanted her to keep an eye on Damian, when he was worried about Candi’s extramarital activities. Now, as Bill and Candi seemed to have come to an agreement and apparent happiness, he would no longer care.

  But I care. Damn, he wouldn’t see her anymore—not at work, not anywhere.

  Sighing, he opened the door leading to the mud room. He removed his shoes, tossing them to the side, then placed his messenger bag on the chair. He caught a scent. Wildflowers and vanilla. He marched through the kitchen, to find a path of small lit candles taking him to the living area.

  Brit.

  She stood, wearing the same sweatshirt and pants she wore when he’d first released how attracted to her he was. When he’d gone to dinner with Bill for the first time.

  Surprise swept over him, and he did a double take.

  At her feet, two cases of beer. What the hell?

  Adrenaline zapped through his veins, and he did a double take to make sure this was real.

  “Brit.”

  “I asked Violet to take the kids out.”

  He took a couple of steps in her direction, then stopped short, a couple of feet from her. Curious and confused, he stood still. “Why?”

  She clapped her hands together, then chewed on her lower lip. Her nervous energy zinged between them, thickening and lurking. “You know that night when I watched the kids and you came back? And you caught me drinking your beer?”

  How could I ever forget? “Yes.”

  She grabbed one beer from one of the cases, and twisted the top off. “I hated it. It’s gross, and these aren’t even properly chilled. I bought them.”

  Why would she buy them if she hated them?

  She lifted one to her mouth and chugged it down, then withdrew it from her mouth, gasping. “God, it’s horrible. But I’m willing to drink each one of them, as a way to show you I love you, and I want to be with you during good and bad times, sweet and sour.”

  “You would really drink all these?”

  “Not right now, I mean I don’t want to go to the hospital in an alcoholic coma. I bought two cases for the visual effect, and hoped you’d be content if I drank about six of—”

  He didn’t let her finish.

  Thrilled, he erased the gap between them and pulled her into his arms. The thumping of the bottle dropping to the carpet fell into the background, and all he heard was his erratic heartbeats, imploding in his ears. She parted her lips, granting him access, and he captured her mouth in his with a kiss that demanded, a kiss that beg, and a kiss that promised.

  His tongue mesh
ed with hers, and thousands of short circuits sizzled in his system, sending him into an overdrive of lust. She encircled his head between her arms, and he dropped his hands into the small of her back, bringing her close, rubbing her against his hard-on just like he’d wanted to do that evening, when he’d even noticed the small rip on her pants.

  Just like he would do every day of their lives, from here on out.

  When he wretched his mouth from hers, both of their heaving breathing filled the space. She gave a little moan in protest, and he wished he could bottle her right there and then. Bottle her sound, her smell, all of her.

  “So I don’t have to drink all of it?”

  “You said six, right?” He tucked a loose strand behind her ear. “Maybe I will cut you a deal, and you can just drink some off of me.”

  “That sounds better.” She smiled. “I love you, Damian. With all my heart. When I got a good feedback on my eyeshadow and interest from a cosmetic company, I wanted you to have been there to share that moment with me.”

  The words interest and cosmetic company caused a jolt of happiness to travel through him. “Brit, that’s great. I’m so proud of you.”

  Her eyes twinkled. “Thanks. I knew you’d be happy for me.”

  “Of course. I love you too. And I miss you when you’re not with me,” he said.

  “Always?”

  “Always.” He kissed her again. Joy welled inside him, skittering his pulse and igniting a part of him he’d never regret opening up for her.

  14

  Epilogue

  Six months later…

  “Brit,” Lara called her, waving from across the crowded store. Next to her, Violet and Nikki smiled.

  Tonight, Brit celebrated the opening of her store, B. Jean Cosmetics. A DJ played some hip songs, and dozens of people occupied the nice, warehouse-like ambiance with apparent brick, metal lighting and hardwood floors.

  Brit excused herself from the girl she just took a selfie with, and walked over to the girls. Her girls.