Songs of Love : Books 1-3

by M J Calabrese

  “How much of a risk are you willing to take, Davey?” He asked his lover during a late-night phone call. This months’ long separation was beginning to take its toll on their relationship and the phone sex wasn’t quite cutting it anymore. Scott was looking forward to being with the man he loved.

  “I don’t know. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “San Francisco. Castro district. BDSM club and the song we use, At Your Command. I picture you as the pretty boy who comes into the club with his band and takes over. We could pay some of the guys to surround you, both subs and Doms. Get some erotic choreography going intermingling with the real thing in the club. Images of simulated gay sex blurred in the background. You reach out and kiss a beautiful almost naked sub. With your hand out of shot, you move like you’re giving him a handjob.”

  “You?”

  “Ha. Ha, no! Imagine, you taking a whip to Christian’s back. Other than you, your fans love to see him shirtless with his tight, naked ass in black leather chaps. Grease him up and tie him to a St. Andrew’s cross and they will be replaying this video for months. We’ll end it with you on a throne with a jeweled Flogger in your hand, holding it like a scepter and all the others in the club at your feet.” Scott paused as he laid back on his bed, one hand already stroking the hardening flesh of his cock. “I know it’s controversial, but you’ll get a ton of playtime on MTV, VH1, and YouTube if you are willing to take the chance.”

  “Well, you know me. Go big or go home.” David laughed. “Sounds good to me. I don’t think the boys will have any problem with it. How much do you think this will cost and when are you free to do it?”

  “I’ll draw up a proposed budget. I should be home in two weeks, barring any complications that delay me. Give me like a month’s prep time and I think we can do this over about three to four days. I’ll see if I can find a club that will let us take over and ask if they have any Doms and subs who might want to be in the video.”

  David yawned long and loud. Scott laughed. Both of them kept impossible hours lately. Just this phone call was pushing it. “When will you go on tour?”

  “Fall.”

  “Okay. Well, I’ll see you soon and I’ll have Trevor send you the numbers.”

  “Trevor? You cheating on me, Scotty?” The tone of David’s voice hardened.

  “I’m too tired to cheat on you, sweetheart. He’s my production assistant. I’m not getting paid much, so they gave me an assistant. I am determined to get my money’s worth.” Scott paused. They were both a bit on edge and had argued the last time they spoke. He didn’t want to end things this way, but with their career demands, holding a relationship together might be impossible. It made Scott sick to his stomach to think that they’d come this far only to split over work schedules and jealousy. They needed to talk face to face. “I’ll see you in two weeks, babe. I am so looking forward to you fucking me so hard, I can’t sit for a week.”

  “See you in two weeks, Scotty. Start prepping yourself because I’m not sure I’ll want to wait when you walk through that door. Love you. Later.”

  Chapter Nine

  September 2011

  Absinthe featuring Dorian Gray went to the top of the charts after their music video, At Your Command played on MTV and later on YouTube. Two platinum albums in four years with four gold ones. Their record label worked hard to keep their cash cow, Dorian Gray, happy. Between touring, recording and public appearances there was little time for anything. Even sleeping had become a valuable commodity and sleep was something David seemed to fight tooth and nail. He was driven. He and the band were on top and he wanted to stay there no matter what. No one could keep up the pace David Niewitski set for himself without some drug-induced help.

  David and Scott broke up after having a very public fight in 2010. Accusations of infidelity brought by David against his boyfriend were the basis of the whole break up. A charge Scott vehemently denied it. They stopped speaking for a while and both went their separate ways. Scott had taken a lover, a young actor from one of his films, but that had ended about a month prior to getting a late phone call one night.

  “Scotty?”

  “Davey?” The sounds of a loud party in the background made his caller hard to hear, but he knew it was David’s voice.

  There was a giggle on the other end of the line, “Why aren’t you at my party, babe? Come to my party. I so want to see you.”

  Scott knew that tone of voice. David was high or drunk or both. “Are you high, Davey?”

  “Um, maybe a little. Please, Scotty. Come over and save me from myself. I’m really not feeling good and I need to get out of here.”

  Scott sighed. These calls were getting more and more frequent. David had been calling him, usually late. Sometimes loud and rambling, other times he’d be crying and again, making little to no sense. When that happened he usually hung up on him, but tonight he was bored enough to go over and bring David back to this place to let him pass out. They weren’t lovers anymore, but they were still friends.

  “Okay, I’ll be over in 15 minutes. Make certain the guards at the gate will let me in this time. You put me on the do-not-admit list the last time we argued.”

  There was a long pause before a sad, pathetic voice answered. “I’m really not feeling good, Scotty. Please hurry.”

  He stuck his shoes on and headed to David’s mansion in the Hills above Sunset Blvd. This time the guards waved him through, but cars were parked in every square foot of the drive and on David’s front lawn. Scott shook his head as he trapped someone in the driveway and went into the house.

  The music was deafening. He shuddered to think what Davey’s mother would think if she knew what her boy was doing to his hearing. The front door was open. Just as he walked into the foyer, there was a high pitched female scream.

  “Oh, my God! He’s dying! Dorian’s dying!”

  Scott headed for the sound at a dead run. It took him two seconds to find Davey. Clad only in a pair of loose linen trousers, he had blood running from his nose and lips. David was on the floor, body rigid and shaking violently. There was a young blond twink trying to help him, but he clearly didn’t know what to do. Scott shoved him out of the way.

  “Call paramedics, he’s having a seizure.”

  He had to give the guy credit because he followed instructions quickly. Scott pointed at another man and told him to get a towel. In the interim, he got under David’s head to keep him from hurting himself worse than he already was. It seemed like forever, but before the paramedics arrived Scott shouted for everyone to leave and people began to scatter. The blond hadn’t moved.

  Scott turned to him, “Do you know what he was taking?”

  The young man swallowed hard. “Ecstasy, cocaine for sure. There was meth around, but I didn’t see him do any.” The young man began to pace, tears threatened to spill from his eyes. “He’s my boyfriend. We have been together for about three weeks.”

  Scott raised an eyebrow, “Really? Boyfriend? Well, pleased to meet you. I’m his husband.” Scott lied. He could see the headlines tomorrow in tabloids about David’s drug use and now a secret marriage. He didn’t want some kid making up stories to sell to the highest bidder.

  The young man’s jaw dropped, “He never said….”

  “Listen, if you mention a word about this to anyone, I will sue your ass, got me? Now, be a good boyfriend. Grab every illegal drug in this place and flush it down the toilet because you’ve got maybe ten minutes before the cops and paramedics arrive. Go!”

  The wide-eyed, blond twink headed up the stairs at top speed. Shouts from clearly inebriated or stoned partiers started to filter down. The sounds of sirens filled the air as all hell broke loose inside the house. Half clothed men and women scattered. Scott shook his head, rats jumping ship and all he could do was hold his former lover.

  It took the paramedics about twenty minutes to get the seizure to stop. It was the worst he’d seen in a long time. At the raves they had hit in the past, there was us
ually one person who went down, but this was a first for David as far as Scott knew. The blond very inconveniently told the paramedics and cops that Scott was David’s husband. He kept up the pretense because he knew they’d cut him out of the loop if Davey had no one and he didn’t want Oscar and Betty to worry. He’d call them later, or better yet, he’d have David do the honors.

  By the time David arrived at Cedars Sinai hospital, he was awake and groggily answering questions. Scott waited until everyone was out of the room before he headed in. David looked up and grinned weakly. His lower lip was swelling from where he’d bitten through it, but they’d cleaned up most of the blood on his face. A small dribble exited his left nostril as he swiped at it with the side of his hand.

  “I’m sorry, Scotty.”

  “You’re always sorry, Davey. What’s this your third OD?”

  “Second.”

  “Right, second.” Scott snorted in disbelief. “You need to go to rehab, Davey. You need to quit using.”

  David’s jaw tightened as he again brushed a trickle of blood from his nose, “I’m not an addict, Scotty.”

  “Yeah, right. Well, I’m out of here. Let me know when you come to your senses.” Scott turned to leave, but he didn’t get far.

  “They said you told them I was your husband.”

  “I didn’t want your Mom and Dad to see you like this. They would’ve called them. Betty and Oscar don’t deserve this, Davey. Hell, I don’t deserve this.”

  “I wish you were my husband then you’d tell me what to do.” David started to cry, “My life is so fucked up, Scotty. Please.”

  “I just told you what you needed to do, David. You need to get clean. You need therapy and you need to get into a healthy relationship.” Scott ran his fingers through his hair causing it to stand on end.

  David’s eyes looked over at him, pleading, but Scott had become, over the years, immune to that look. “No, not with me. We…, we know too much about each other. You need to find someone who will love you, David.”

  “But you love me, don’t you?” David swallowed hard as he reached out to the man standing near the door.

  “Yeah, but apparently my love isn’t enough to keep you clean and sober. Get help, David or you’re going to die.” With this, Scott walked out of the room. He could hear David calling his name, but he didn’t bother to turn around. He just went on to his car.

  Chapter Ten

  June 2013, Las Vegas, NV

  Scott pulled up in his rental car to the parking valet podium in front of the Bellagio Hotel. The concert was scheduled to start at 9 pm, but if he didn’t hurry he wasn’t going to catch his friends before they had to go on stage.

  Cutting across the lobby, backstage pass in hand, he grabbed one of the security people near the kiosk he’d been directed to. He could hear the music already coming from the giant arena, but a glance at his watch told him it had to be the warm-up band. He still had time. After checking with the organizers backstage, a guard motioned Scott to follow him. The man’s long strides got them to the appropriate place in a matter of minutes. As he entered the dressing rooms area, the first person he ran into was Muse.

  “Scotty, dude! You look great, man.” The big, bear of a man wrapped Scott in an all-encompassing hug. His smile reached from one ear to the other.

  “Thanks. Don’t mean to be rude, Muse, but where is David?”

  “Come on.”

  Muse stuck his head into his room to tell his wife he’d be back and led the way down the hall. They took a slight jog to the left and the unmarked door at the end of the hall suddenly opened. The instant Lisa saw Scott, she grabbed him and kissed him

  “Davey!” She shouted, “Check out who showed up.” Lisa threw the door open and he saw his best friend get up out of his makeup chair. David smiled and the full-on Dorian Gray makeup made him astoundingly beautiful. Lisa had refined his look. It was simpler but still showed his best attribute to its fullest. His eyes were sparkling and for the first time in recent memory, Scott realized David wasn’t doing drugs.

  “Woohoo!!!!” The taller man wrapped his arms around Scott, dragging him into a growly bear hug. “Oh, God! Scotty, I have missed you so much!” David leaned back and kissed his former lover with a passion that made Scott’s head spin. As he pulled back, Lisa playfully hit David on the arm complaining he was messing up her perfect makeup job. She pushed David back into the makeup chair to repair the damage.

  “How long can you stay, Scotty? Please say you don’t have to leave until, like, Wednesday. Pleeaaasssee!!!” David sounded like a little kid who wanted a toy his parents said he couldn’t have.

  Scott came over to watch Lisa do her magic. “I’m done with my projects for a while. I have several to consider and I need to talk to people, but I am at your mercy for at least a month.”

  “Really? Oh, my God.” David clapped, grinning broadly.

  Scott laughed. Watching Davey this happy almost broke his heart. They’d taken what they called A Break from each other for the past two years. Not calling. Rarely texting. Since Scott had walked out of the hospital two years prior, both, by unspoken agreement, decided to give each other space.

  *****

  About two weeks ago, Scott got a text from David asking about his schedule. He told him he was wrapping a film in Slovenia and would be in the States in a couple of weeks. David had extended the invitation for him to come to watch them in Las Vegas and to spend some time together. When he read it, he could almost see how nervous David had been when deciding to send the text. He knew he had a 50/50 chance of being rejected, but he’d taken the risk anyway. Typical of Davey to go for the riskier option.

  Fortunately, Scott, too, had been thinking about his former lover in the past few weeks. While waiting for the Director of Cinematography to properly light and frame the agreed-upon shot, he found himself randomly thinking about David and the fact that he really missed him.

  In answer to David’s text, he did a short video using ASL telling him he would come and that he hoped they could be friends again, putting the past hurts and arguments behind them.

  In a few moments, he got a Facetime call from David and for two hours that night, they sat and signed to one another, catching up on the news until finally, Scott spoke. “I’ve missed you so much, Davey. I want to see you and there is something I want to tell you. It’s important.”

  David’s eyes grew sad, but he tried to smile and failed, “Uh, sure. I want to see you, too. When you are heading back, come to Vegas. I’m a resident artist here at the Bellagio, but I have a condo that I’m renting and I have an extra room so you can stay with me.” He paused, “That is if you want to stay with me.”

  Scott smiled warmly, “I do want to stay with you. I’ll call when I’m free here and we can work everything out.”

  The sadness in David’s eyes faded slightly as his tight smile grew a little. “Good. Will you have Trevor call me?”

  “Trevor is at USC working on his degree. I am without an assistant so I answer my own phone calls and make my own plane reservations.”

  “Really?” David seemed to perk up a bit. “Okay, fine, call me. I’m working every night except Mondays. We’re dark Monday nights.”

  “Ok, I’ll see you later.” They looked at each other for a moment, neither breaking the silence until Scott did and what he said brought tears to David’s eyes.

  “And, Davey?”

  “Yes.”

  “I never stopped loving you.”

  “Didn’t you? I thought after, you know….” David looked away and when he looked back there were tears. “I never stopped loving you, Scotty. You’re my heart and soul.”

  Scott’s grin turned mischievous. “Your heart and soul, huh? Don’t I get the rest of you, too?”

  David laughed and tried to look embarrassed, but he didn’t quite make it. “See you later.”

  *****

  Scott sat through the most erotic hard rock concert he’d ever seen. Dorian Gray and Absinthe ha
d outdone themselves. David and Christian were playing up the BDSM aspect of the show and there were a few moments Scott wasn’t sure whether the sex was just simulated or real. He made a mental note to ask Davey.

  Two hours and twenty minutes later, they played their last encore and the band finally got to leave the stage. Scott headed back down to David’s dressing room and literally ran into the hot, sweaty man himself.

  “Whoa, babe.” David grabbed onto Scott to keep from running him over. The other members of the band skirted around them as they stood there in the middle of the hall. David’s face and chest were dripping onto Scott’s pale blue shirt, but neither seemed to notice as Scott cocked his head and began to kiss the man he’d missed for far too long. A loud squeal at the far end of the corridor made them break the kiss. A half dozen girls and young men were being held back by a security guard.

  “Dammit!” David grimaced, “I don’t know how they got back here. They know….”

  Scott smiled and stepped back. He raised a hand to rest it on David’s cheek, “Go. Make their night. A few selfies and an autograph will be the best memory they ever had. You remember the night we met the members of Nickelback.”

  David grinned fondly at the memory then he nodded. “Okay, go on to my dressing room, I’ll be there in a few.” He gave Scott another quick kiss and headed down to the girls and boys.

  A few minutes turned into thirty, but when David came through the door, a hoard of people surrounded him. First striping him of his stage clothes before Lisa started removing his makeup. Scott stood and stared into the mirror as Lisa handed David creams and finally a gauze mask to put on his face. David leaned back and sighed.

  “God, it’s good to get that crap off my face. I don’t know what I’d do without Lisa. She keeps me looking young and beautiful.”