Songs of Love : Books 1-3

by M J Calabrese

  The End

  Lonely No More

  Songs of Love 3

  A M/M Romance

  By M.J. Calabrese

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  Chapter One

  Martin Kull stared at the documents on his tablet. “Yeah, this looks good, Ray. I can approve this. Anything else?”

  Ray Daugherty had worked for his billionaire boss for over 10 years. He’d gotten used to giving him bad news, but this type he really hated. He debated on whether or not to just handle it himself. Martin always gave him free rein, but this was just getting to be a pattern and he knew they needed to talk. He took the 9 x 12 white envelope from the leather portfolio in this lap and placed it in front of Kull without a word.

  “What is this?”

  “Open it.”

  Martin bent the aluminum clasp on the back and took three photographs from the envelope. He looked at the first one then the second then the most damning one of all was the last one. The last showed Martin giving cash to a man who was obviously a male prostitute.

  “Fuck!”

  “Yep.”

  Martin sighed and leaned back in his chair, “Is it the guy’s pimp that wants money this time?”

  Ray shook his head. “Nope, Leo Benoit, tabloid king, wants three million to kill the story.”

  “Dollars or Euros?”

  “Does it make a difference, Marty?”

  Martin rubbed his forehead. The lines there were getting deeper with each passing year. Today he felt more than his almost forty-eight years. Martin sighed. There was definitely a headache starting. “Pay him.”

  Ray nodded, then leaned back in his chair. “Marty, you gotta stop doing this.”

  Martin looked up, his grin was weary and held no humor. “What? Are you afraid of what people will think of me?”

  “No, I’m afraid that one of these days one of those guys is going to fuck you without a condom or the condom is going to break. That’s how we ended up with Chrissy, so I know how it can happen. Then you’re going to catch something that no amount of money can cure. I worry about you.”

  Jaw tightly clenched, Martin stood, jamming his hands into his pockets. He turned and walked over to stand at the window twenty stories up from the street. He owned this building and a thousand like it all around the world. If you had asked him why he chose Boston as his home base, he would not have been able to give you an answer. Born and raised in Sacramento, California until his father kicked him out at seventeen, he had been forced to pull himself together and make his own way in the world. He talked some other abandoned gay teens into designing an app which every GPS system in the United States and Europe were based on. Martin had built this company with tech knowledge and street smarts. He had reaped the profits of the late twentieth and early twenty-first century tech. It allowed him to expand the company and become the fifth wealthiest man in the world. He turned, looking up at his friend and executive assistant more than a little sheepishly.

  “I know you’re right. I’m on PrEP, but I’ve gotta stop.” He paused, “It’s not just the idea of catching HIV or worse, it's more than that. I haven’t had a stable relationship in years.” Martin studied the man sitting in front of him. He valued Ray’s opinion even when they didn’t agree. “Do you think I’m a sex addict?”

  Ray leaned forward, contemplating his friend’s words. He clasped his hands then dropped them between his legs as he looked back up at Martin. “Let me ask you this. Do you watch porn excessively, like to the exclusion of doing anything else? Do you jerk off or have sex with someone numerous times per day? Do you constantly think about sex to the exclusion of food or work?”

  Martin laughed, shaking his head. “I’m not that bad.”

  “Then I don’t think you are an addict, Marty. I think you’re lonely.”

  Martin grimaced and started to deny what Ray was saying, but Ray interrupted him. “I’m just saying, you’d rather pay some guy or hook up with some random man on Grindr not for sex, sure that’s a nice side benny, but I think it’s because you want to make a connection with someone. Even if it’s for only a few hours a night.” Ray sighed then looked away. “But I think you’re starting to realize you want more than a quick one night stand.”

  Martin dark eyes looked down, stabbing the toe of his handmade Italian loafer against the cold marble floor. “Maybe you’re right. I need to change my attitude.” He glanced away, but a small smile graced his lips then he sighed. “You need to go home. It’s late. Carrie and your kid are waiting for you.”

  Ray stood, tucking his leather portfolio under his arm. “Will you at least think about what I said?”

  “I will.”

  “I’ll authorize the money to pay Leo and you….” He pointed a finger at his boss as he turned toward the door. “Don’t work too late. Go home. Get some rest, alone. Big meeting tomorrow, okay?”

  “Yes, sir. I’ll head home in a little bit. I just want to finish up what’s on my desk. What you put there, you bastard.” He laughed.

  Ray turned, “Oh, by the way, Chrissy’s dance recital is in three weeks, on a Saturday. I’ve marked it on your calendar already. Your presence as my child’s godfather is demanded.”

  “If I have to fly back from Europe, I will be there. I cannot miss a bunch of little girls in tutus playing ballerina.”

  “Hey! My kid is great! Be there.”

  “Go!” Martin shook his head and waved as Ray left, closing the door behind him. He stood there a moment, eyes scanning the large, now empty, room. He couldn’t help noticing that this room was a metaphor for how he felt. He hated to admit it, but Ray was right. He wanted more and he should be in a stable relationship at this point in his life. He was almost forty-eight years old and never had a relationship that lasted more than six months.

  He felt the silence surrounding him. Martin took in a deep breath then let it out slowly. He knew what he needed to do and now was as good a time as any to do it. He sat back down at his desk. Taking the mouse, he clicked on his desktop. In the bottom right corner sat the icon for his Grindr app. Placing the cursor arrow over it, he hesitated then right clicked and deleted the app before he had time to think about it. Ray was right. It was time. Hookups and rent boys weren’t the answer. He wasn’t sure what the answer was, but he knew something had to give.

  Time passed. The only way he knew it was late was the darkness outside and the growling of his empty stomach. Martin stretched, hands scrubbing the day old, salt and pepper stubble on his chin and cheeks. The clock on his computer said it was one in the morning. He closed his eyes, trying to decide whether to go home or just sleep on the couch in his office, then his stomach rumbled again. Decision made, he got up, grabbed his coat and headed out to the all night diner a few doors down. The food was good and the night cook doubled as a waiter. He liked him.

  Martin waved to the security guard on duty at the front desk. Even though the building was officially closed, they made sure someone was there keeping tabs on the offices and people coming and going late. The owner of Bestrek was a frequent late night fixture and the thousand dollar Christmas bonus to Harold, the night guard for the past eight years, gave him unquestioned freedom when coming or going. “Just heading for the diner, Harold. Be back shortly.”

  The old man waved and watched him leave. The nippy, early October night air woke him up a bit. Enough to make him pull his coat a little tighter around his body to stay warm. He walked a little faster than normal to Kitty’s Diner. He wasn’t sure if Kitty was still around, but the food was excellent, cooked on the spot and served by one of the most handsome older men he’d met in a long time. Martin smiled as he remembered a jerk-off session that fe
atured the guy in his own personal porn fantasy a few nights ago. His type appealed to him. He had thought about asking the guy out, but being unsure of the man’s sexual orientation he chose caution. The guy seemed to be straight and he didn’t want his food to end up with something disgusting on it because he was pissed off at the gay guy from the office down the street.

  The bell sounded as he opened the glass door to the diner. He heard Vince’s deep voice coming from the kitchen and he didn’t sound happy. Martin took his usual booth. He looked over, unable to keep from overhearing the conversation. Vince was definitely angry with whoever was on the other end of the line.

  “No! No! I am not getting back together with you, Avery. I’m not going to be your little piece on the side. You decided to marry David. Now you go fuck yourself.”

  Martin raised an eyebrow. Well, that certainly answered his question about Vince’s sexual orientation.

  “You fawking bastard!” Vince’s accent deepened as he got madder. “I told you he’d be cheating on you in a week and I was right. So leave me alone. I’ve moved on from you. Yeah! Yeah! That’s right. I’m dating someone.” Vince looked up over the pony wall that separated the grill from the counter and grimaced. “Yeah! You don’t believe me?” Vince stormed around the barrier and came up to Martin. “Yeah, my boyfriend’s right here. Say hi to my really rich and handsome boyfriend.” Vince’s eyes pleaded with him to go with the charade as he handed Martin the cellphone.

  “This is Martin Kull, Vince’s boyfriend.” There was silence on the phone for a moment then the man on the other end of the call demanded to speak with Vince. Martin shook his head, “Oh, I don’t think so. You’ll find I’m a jealous bastard, so stay away from Vince. Got it? He’s with me now and I hold onto what’s mine. Good night, Avery.” Without asking he broke the connection.

  “Sorry to drag you into that.”

  Martin handed the other man his phone back. “No problem. Sounded like he was giving you a hard time and being your boyfriend has a certain allure.” He grinned as he noted the blush creeping past Vince’s collar.

  Vince took the phone. Sticking it into his jean’s pocket, he turned and headed back toward the kitchen. “So, what can I get you tonight, Marty? It’s on the house for helping me.”

  “No need to make it on the house. I can well afford to pay for it. Remember, I’m your rich and handsome boyfriend.” Martin laughed.

  “Okay, but I’ll do you a favor sometime. So, what do you want?”

  “Eggs over medium, bacon, hash browns, and add a side of pancakes to that, will you?”

  “Coffee?”

  “Yes and make it leaded.”

  “You got it.”

  Twenty minutes later, Vince exited the kitchen laden with plates of food. He set them down one by one in front of his only customer at the moment. Martin had to hold back a grin as he watched the other man’s muscular arms flex with each movement. He stared for the first time at the numerous tattoos covering his arms and wondered what their stories were. The stained, formerly white tee shirt kept him from seeing all the art, but it definitely showed off well-defined pecs and delts. This was a guy who worked out more than just lifting heavy boxes in the back. Taking advantage of the moment, he looked on down, but the rest of the package was hidden by a grease splattered apron.

  From eleven pm until two am, Kitty’s Diner rarely had anyone else come in to eat. Sometimes Vince was entertained by the drunks when the bars let out, or a group of working girls or boys would come in to warm up and have coffee. As the last plate hit the table, Vince took the seat across from Martin. He couldn’t help but notice Vince’s wide smile. Square jawed with a day old beard that was turning gray, Martin found himself wanting to reach out and find out if Vince’s stubble was soft or bristly. His sandy blond hair was fading with the gray that was seeping in. All in all, Vince was what Martin considered a handsome man, not pretty by any means, but his blue eyes were stunning. Martin shook his head, why haven’t I noticed his eyes before now?

  Martin frowned at his pancakes and pointed to the round, dark pieces in the batter. “What’s this?”

  “Blueberries. I had some in the fridge and I know you like them, so….” He raised his hands and shrugged.

  “Blueberries? You made me blueberry pancakes?” Martin smiled. “I’m so fucking in love with you right now.” He cut a bite and groaned, savoring the taste. “Marry me.”

  “Maybe we should go out on at least one date before you whisk me off to the altar, besides, every time you order a lot of carbs, something’s wrong. Wanna talk?”

  Martin paused to cut up his eggs. How do you know so much about me and I know so little about you? I’ve been coming here eight years. Why don’t I know more? I want to know more. He admitted to himself as he looked up at the man he considered a friend. “I should be asking you if you need to talk.”

  “Sorry about that.” Vince shook his head, the smile fading a bit. Martin found himself looking at that slightly crooked smile in a different way. Vince was about three inches taller than his own six foot stature, solid, not long waisted, and well proportioned. He narrowed his eyes, thinking, would he have chosen this guy on Grindr? Probably not. He would’ve thought he was too old, but he couldn’t be much older than he was.

  “How about I tell you mine then you tell me yours?”

  Martin pursed his lips, amused, but then he nodded, “Okay, you first.” He pointed at Vince with his fork. “I have to eat this excellent meal before it gets any colder.”

  “Okay.” Vince inhaled sharply then exhaled as he started to speak. “Uh, that was my ex-boyfriend as you already know. By the way, I’m gay.”

  Martin held out his hand, “Welcome to the club.” Vince took it and shook it. Martin wasn’t surprised by all the callouses. Vince worked hard and it showed.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. Now go on.”

  “He left me high and dry about two years ago. One day, I come home and half my stuff is gone. Furniture, pictures, toys, you know what kind I mean. Plus half our joint household bank account is gone. Bastard left me a note saying he was marrying this guy named David. They met on the internet of all fucking things. I haven’t heard from him in over a year until tonight.” Vince grinned and looked down, scraping at a scratch mark carved into the tabletop. “If I’d been smart I woulda changed my phone number, but I didn’t.”

  He sighed then looked back up to meet Martin’s eyes, “Said he missed me and wanted to see me. I asked if he was still with David and he sort of hedged. I knew he was. He said we could get together, have a drink, maybe hook up. It really pissed me off that he thought I’d come running back to him. Crook his little finger and there I’d go. Bastard! Throw me over for some twink. A rich twink, but still a twink.” Vince drew in a deep breath, calming himself. He cocked his head and smiled. “So, how was your day?”

  Martin bit into his crisp bacon. He had to admit Vince could cook and he always remembered how he liked his bacon. In fact, Vince seemed to remember everything he liked and that made something inside him wonder what this man would be like if he really got to know him. He was obviously considerate and he had morals, but he wondered what else lay beneath that tattooed skin.

  Taking his paper napkin, he wiped his mouth and returned the smile. “Well, I had to pay the owner of a British tabloid three million dollars. Or was it Euros? So he wouldn’t publish pictures showing me paying a rent boy for sex.”

  Vince cringed. “Oh, that was an expensive lesson, Marty.”

  “If it were the first time, but no, unfortunately, it’s not.” Martin sighed and shook his head as he took another bite. “I deleted my Grindr app.”

  “What? Why?”

  “I am turning over a new leaf, Vince. I am looking for a long term relationship. Maybe even get married sometime soon, but I can’t do that by hooking up with someone on an app.”

  The bell over the door dinged and two working girls strolled in with smudged lipstick and messy hair that
told him they’d had a profitable night. Vince reached over and patted Martin’s hand then smiled. “Well, good luck with that. Gotta go.”

  Martin watched him as he engaged the two women in conversation. One of them grabbed his upper arm, making a big show of squeezing his impressive bicep and asking if they could work something out to get some food for free. He saw Vince roll his eyes and remove the girl’s hand before informing them he was gay. They didn’t seem to care. Fifteen minutes later, he had a full breakfast for each of them, no charge. It appeared Vince was a generous soul, too. He wondered if the owner knew about the free meals he handed out. Another thought struck him though, what if the prostitutes had been male, would he have taken them up on the offer to trade sex for food? Martin looked at the man working at the grill and with a shake of his head, he decided it was unlikely.

  He sat there for another half hour, slowly finishing his meal while making a plan on how he would ask Vince out. Both eyebrows raised as he realized that in eight years of knowing this man, he had no idea what Vince’s last name was.

  *****

  Ray found his boss asleep on the couch in his office. He shook his head, then leaned down and tapped the older man’s shoulder. A sleepy eyed and rumpled, Martin Kull shifted to his back. Raising his hand to block the light blinding him, he finally focused on his executive assistant. “What time is it?”

  “You have about an hour before our meeting. Why did you sleep here? Why didn’t you go home?”

  Martin sat up. Swinging his feet over the side of the couch, he blinked. “Actually, I didn’t plan on it. I went down to the diner about 1 am and ate, then came back up here and worked a bit more. I got tired and just crashed here.”

  “That’s why you need a boyfriend, a real one, so you’re motivated to go home and sleep in your bed.”

  Martin grinned, “You really don’t know how gay men work, do you. You come home and then fuck all night. On that note, I need you to go down to the diner and get Vince’s last name and phone number. I want to ask him out.”