Lady Justice and the Lottery

by Robert Thornhill

  “I’m listening,” he finally said.

  “You’re trying to get out of there in one piece with a small fortune and your insurance policy is an old man and a woman that hates your guts. They are only going to slow you down. Let’s make a trade --- the two of them for me. A Kansas City police officer would make a pretty good hostage.”

  Silence.

  “You’d come --- no guns --- no tasers ---no tricks?”

  “No guns and no tasers. You can check me out before you let them go.

  “Okay then. Let’s do this.”

  Then I heard a voice in the background. “Hold on! I’m not going anywhere until I talk to Walt.”

  “What’s going on, Slade?”

  “The old man wants to talk --- here you go, but make it quick!”

  “Walt, this is Earl. I know what you’re doing and I appreciate it, but I’m not going anywhere unless I can make a deal too.”

  “What kind of deal?” I asked, surprised.

  “Full immunity for Jessica. She goes free or we don’t come out. I’m sorry Walt, but if she has to go to jail, then I don’t care what happens to me.”

  I looked at the captain.

  “Let me make a call,” he said.

  “Hang on, Earl. We’re working on it.”

  A few minutes later, the captain returned. “I spoke to the District Attorney. Jessica Fisher doesn’t have a record. The only way we could charge her is if one of her previous marks comes out of the woodwork and that’s not going to happen because it would expose their dirty little secret, or if Earl files charges and I can’t see that happening either, so tell him we’re good to go.”

  “You’ve got a deal, Earl. Full immunity for Jessica.”

  “Thanks, Walt. Want do you want us to do?”

  “Give the phone back to Slade.”

  “Ain’t love grand?” Slade asked, sarcastically. “Now do exactly as I say. Come to the loading dock door. I’ll open it and you step inside. I’ll check you out and if you’re clean, the two lovebirds can go. No tricks. Remember, all I have to do is press a button and we’re all toast.”

  “Give me ten minutes. I’ll be there.”

  One of the tech guys approached me. “Gonna put a bug in your ear.”

  “But he said that he’s going to check me out,” I protested.

  “He’d have to crawl inside you to find this baby,” the tech guy replied, holding up a tiny bud smaller than a pea, “and he’ll never find the mike. It looks like a big old hairy mole on your neck. You can hear us and we can hear what’s going on with you. When you head up the ladder, sing out loud and clear so the chopper can pick you up.”

  After I’d been fitted with my electronics, I said, “Give me one more minute. I need to make a call.”

  The captain nodded.

  I punched the #1 speed dial and Maggie’s sweet face filled the screen.

  “Hi, Sweetie,” she said, picking up. “You don’t usually call in the middle of the day. Is everything all right?”

  “Absolutely!” I assured her. “I was just thinking of you and I wanted to tell you how much I love you. I don’t do that often enough.”

  “That’s precious. I love you too. Gotta go though. I’m showing a house and my clients just drove up. How’s pizza sound for supper.”

  “Sounds perfect. Bye now.”

  As I hung up, I hoped I would be there to enjoy it with her.

  When I returned to the staging area, the captain was on the phone. When I picked up the briefcase with the cash, he put his hand over the receiver, “No heroics, Walt. Stick to the plan.”

  I nodded and headed to the loading dock door.

  I knocked and the door slid up. Slade was standing there with his pistol drawn.

  “You’re Officer Williams! What kind of deal is this? I’m trading one old guy for another!”

  “Actually, I’m two years younger than Earl and let me assure you that I won’t slow you down.”

  “You’d better not! Now get in here and stand exactly where I say or you’ll blow us all up.”

  Earl and Jessica were standing bedside the door watching as Slade patted me down and ripped open my shirt looking for wires.

  “Looks like you’re clean,” he said. “Now let’s take a look at the cash.”

  I handed him the briefcase. He flipped it open and heaved a big sigh.

  “See what you’re missing,” he said to Jessica. “No wait, you get the old guy AND all his money.”

  “I don’t care about the money,” she replied, taking Earl’s hand.

  “Sure you don’t,” he said sarcastically. “You two lovebirds run along.”

  Earl grabbed my hand. “I can’t thank you enough for what you’re doing.”

  “No thanks necessary,” I replied. “It’s my job. Go now and be safe.”

  After they were gone, Slade pushed a button and the door slid shut.

  “Stay on that red line painted on the floor and we’ll be fine,” he said. “We’ll stop by the office first and pick up the satchel from this morning with the hundred grand. Can’t leave that baby behind.”

  After he’d retrieved the satchel, he prodded me with the gun barrel. “Is the chopper up there? I don’t hear anything.”

  “It’s hovering above the building. When the pilot sees us he’ll land. They didn’t want to take a chance on getting it blown up in case something went wrong.”

  “Good thinking. You keep the briefcase and I’ll carry the satchel. You go up the ladder first and open the door to the roof. Got it?”

  I nodded and we headed up to the loft.

  As we crossed the loft, I saw the drone in the corner. I had just reached the ladder when I saw the rotors come to life and lift it into the air.

  “Now!” came the voice from my earpiece as the drone swooped at Slade’s head.

  “Son-of-bitch!” he yelped as the bird lifted for another run.

  I scampered up the ladder and pushed hard on the trap door, but the damn thing was stuck.

  I hit it again and it broke loose. I was just scrambling through the hole when I saw Slade swipe at the drone. The gun barrel clipped one of the rotors sending the thing careening into the wall. It was pretty obvious that the X8 wasn’t designed as an attack weapon.

  The chopper had seen me climb out of the hole and was just setting down when Slade hopped out onto the roof.

  I was a good thirty feet from the chopper. There was no way I could get there before Slade got off a shot.

  I saw him level his gun at the pilot.

  “Get out of here!” I screamed.

  The pilot didn’t need an engraved invitation. He lifted off just as Slade fired and the slug struck one of the landing struts.

  When the chopper was gone, Slade walked slowly in my direction. “I thought we had a deal. No guns --- no tasers --- no tricks!”

  “If you’ll recall our conversation,” I said, with all the bravado that I could muster, “I promised no gun and no tasers, but I didn’t say anything about no tricks.”

  “Oh, so now you’re a funny guy too. Well here we are. Your little trick didn’t work and I’ve got the gun.”

  “We can still work something out. No one’s been hurt and you released the hostages. I’m sure we can still get the DA to go for extortion.”

  “Not interested,” he said, raising the gun. “All I care about right now is payback.”

  I could see by the look in his eye that further negotiation was futile. The guy was going to shoot.

  As more of a reflex than anything else, I raised the briefcase just as Slade pulled the trigger.

  I felt the impact as the slug dug into the stack of bills.

  I also heard a ‘pffffft’.

  “Oh crap!” I thought. “The dye-pack!”

  I hurled the briefcase at Slade and it popped open just as the dye-pack exploded.

  Red dye shot in every direction followed by the tear gas. Red goo was dripping from my body and my eyes were stinging when I heard, �
��Walt this is the captain. Do exactly as I say. Don’t think! Just do as I say. Run to the north side of the roof and jump. Do it now!”

  I wiped the tears from my eyes and saw Slade wildly aiming his gun in my direction.

  I did exactly as I was told. I ran to the roof and had just launched myself into the void when I heard the slug from Slade’s second shot whiz by my head.

  My time in free fall must have only been a few seconds, but it seemed like an eternity. Suddenly, I found myself engulfed in what felt like a spider web.

  I rubbed my eyes and discovered that I had landed in the fire department’s suicide net --- most likely the same one I had used to save Captain Kirk’s command chair from the Starship Enterprise.

  “Get out of there --- fast,” I heard the captain command.

  The fire truck was moving slowly away from the building when I saw Slade on the edge. His hand was raised in the air.

  “NOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted and a moment later, all hell broke loose. The concussion from the explosion rocked the arm holding the safety net and I clung with all my strength as the net lurched from side to side.

  Smoke billowed into the air and debris came raining down on top of me. I held my breath, expecting some sharp projectile to penetrate my body, but it never came.

  When the repercussion from the initial blast subsided, the net was lowered to the ground.

  Ox was the first to get to me, followed by the captain, Earl and Jessica.

  As he helped me to my feet, I could see the concern in his eyes. “Walt, are you all right?”

  I must have been quite a sight, covered in red goo and black soot from the blast.

  I staggered to my feet and felt for my body parts. Everything seemed to be where it was supposed to be.

  “I --- I think so,” I mumbled.

  “Thank God!” Earl said, and then with a grin, added, “What a fantastic episode for my TV series!”

  EPILOGUE

  When I walked into the apartment that evening, Maggie was shocked.

  “Walt --- you’re red --- all over! What happened?

  “Little accident at work today. A dye-pack exploded and I was in the way --- it happens.”

  “Well you look ridiculous! How long does it last?”

  “About a week depending on how much skin I want to scrub off.”

  We were eating pizza and watching Two and a Half Men when the local station broke in with a news story.

  “A bizarre turn of events developed today involving negotiations with a kidnapper that had taken Earl Lassiter, Kansas City’s newest millionaire, and another woman hostage. Lassiter and the woman were freed, but when police plans to subdue the kidnapper failed, the officer on the inside was forced to leap off the roof of the building seconds before a blast demolished the building and the kidnapper. Here is the footage of the officer’s incredible leap and the blast that followed.”

  The screen filled with the video of a man leaping off the roof and into the suicide net, the ensuing blast and at last, the image of the man untangling himself from the net covered in red dye and black soot.

  I had watched Maggie’s expression change from mild interest to concern and finally to shock as she stared at the visage of her husband surrounded by paramedics.

  “That’s --- that’s you!” Then she remembered my call. “You called me to say goodbye, didn’t you? You weren’t sure you’d make it out in one piece and you called me one last time --- and I blew you off for a client! I’m so sorry!”

  Then, in an instant, her demeanor changed. “Why are you the one that gets roped into all the stupid stuff? Don’t you know that you could get killed?”

  Then it changed again. She tossed aside her slice of pepperoni, threw herself into my arms and began to sob. “I just don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. You’re my life.”

  Women!

  As Maggie hugged me tight, I thought about Earl.

  Here was a guy with more money than he could ever spend in his lifetime and he was willing to lose it all to be with the one he loved.

  My brief association with Morty and Earl had reinforced something I’d always believed to be true; no amount of money can buy happiness.

  Even though Maggie and I are financially secure, I have to admit that I’ve bought a lottery ticket or two. Who hasn’t had daydreams of what they would do with unlimited wealth, but I knew that if I won, it wouldn’t mean much unless I could share it with Maggie.

  Morty and Earl had taught me another lesson; no amount of money can turn back the hands of time.

  I, like Morty and Earl and thousands of other ‘oldies’, fondly remember the days of our youth and long to return to those simpler times. We hear an old tune and it reminds us of our first kiss or our first car, but realistically, those days are gone forever and can only be found as we recall the memories pressed between the pages of our minds.

  But being rich isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

  The X8 was blown to smithereens along with Eric Slade and his safe house. Within a week, Earl had shelled out another thirty-two grand to replace the drone that had helped him and Jessica escape.

  In my mind the jury is still out regarding his TV series. As an old fart, I can totally understand his frustration with what’s being offered on the tube. People of our generation need a hero too --- I’m just not sure that I want it to be me. Time will tell.

  Unfortunately, human nature being what it is, winning the big jackpot can have negative consequences as well.

  It’s a mystery why the same event can bring out the best in some people and the worst in others.

  As the old saying goes, “the same fire that melts the butter hardens the egg”.

  It is no big secret why greed and envy are listed among the seven deadly sins.

  A philosopher has written that there must be opposition in all things.

  When envy and greed capture the soul of men like Eric Slade, someone has to step up in opposition.

  My name is Walt Williams and that’s why I’m a cop!

  Stacy Brecht M.A.

  Owner/CEO at Carder Brecht Communications, LLC

  www.carderbrecht.com

  Hollywood, CA

  Stacy.Brecht@gmail.com

  816.405.2580

  Many Lady Justice readers share the opinion that Walt and his gang of ‘oldies’ would make a great movie or TV series.

  Stacy has been pursuing this possibility with producers across the country and around the world.

  Who knows? Maybe some day Mary Murphy and her bat will be on the tube or the silver screen!

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Award-winning author, Robert Thornhill, began writing at the age of sixty-six and in four short years has penned fifteen novels in the Lady Justice mystery/comedy series, the seven volume Rainbow Road series of chapter books for children, a cookbook and a mini-autobiography.

  Lady Justice and the Sting, Lady Justice and Dr. Death, Lady Justice and the Vigilante, Lady Justice and the Candidate, Lady Justice and the Book Club Murders and Lady Justice and the Cruise Ship Murders won the Pinnacle Award for the best new mystery novels of Fall 2011, Winter 2012, Summer 2012, Fall 2012, Spring of 2013 and Summer 2013 from the National Association of Book Entrepreneurs.

  Many of Walt’s adventures in the Lady Justice series are anecdotal and based on Robert’s real life.

  Although Robert holds a master’s in psychology, he has never taken a course in writing and has never learned to type. All 26 of his published books were typed with one finger and a thumb!

  His wit and insight come from his varied occupations, including thirty-three years as a real estate broker. He lives with his wife, Peg, in Independence, Missouri.

  Visit him on the Web at: http://BooksByBob.com

  LADY JUSTICE TAKES A C.R.A.P.

  City Retiree Action Patrol

  Third Edition

  This is where it all began.

  See how sixty-five year old Walt Williams became a cop and started the City Retiree Ac
tion Patrol.

  Meet Maggie, Willie, Mary and the Professor, Walt’s sidekicks in all of the Lady Justice novels.

  Laugh out loud as Walt and his band of Senior Scrappers capture the Realtor Rapist and take down the Russian Mob.

  http://amzn.to/16lfjnY

  LADY JUSTICE AND THE LOST TAPES

  In Lady Justice and the Lost Tapes, Walt and his band of scrappy seniors continue their battle against the forces of evil.

  When an entire eastside Kansas City neighborhood is terrorized by the mob, Walt must go undercover to solve the case.

  Later, the amazing discovery of a previously unknown recording session of a deceased rock ‘n’ roll idol stuns the music industry.

  http://amzn.to/1cDeiMK

  LADY JUSTICE GETS LEI’D

  In Lady Justice Gets Lei’d, Walt and Maggie plan a romantic honeymoon on the beautiful Hawaiian Islands, but ancient artifacts discovered in a cave in a dormant volcano and a surprising revelation about Maggie’s past, lead our lovers into the hands of Hawaiian zealots.

  http://amzn.to/15P6bLg

  LADY JUSTICE AND THE

  AVENGING ANGELS

  Lady Justice has unwittingly entered a religious war.

  Who better to fight for her than Walt Williams?

  The Avenging Angels believe that it’s their job to rain fire and brimstone on Kansas City, their Sodom and Gomorrah.

  In this compelling addition to the Lady Justice series, Robert Thornhill brings back all the characters readers have come to love for more hilarity and higher stakes.

  You’ll laugh and be on the edge of your seat until the big finish.

  Don’t miss Lady Justice and the Avenging Angels!

  http://amzn.to/1i2yFDz