Confessing to the Cowboy

by Carla Cassidy

  Mary, Mary, quite contrary, he thought as he leaned back in his chair, his thoughts momentarily filled with her. Sometimes it felt as if she were playing games with him, pushing against him and then subtly pulling him closer.

  He knew she wasn’t conscious of it, but she did seem aware of the intense chemistry that radiated between them. She seemed to fight against it rather than allow it to blossom and grow.

  Although he was looking forward to spending some downtime with her and Matt, he certainly hadn’t forgotten he had a killer to catch.

  * * *

  Adam Benson entered his two-story home on Main just down the street from the Cowboy Café and the scent of baked chocolate instantly teased his nose.

  “Somebody has been cooking something good,” he said as he pulled off his hat and coat and hung them in the entry closet.

  There was a faint squeak of a wheelchair and then Melanie Brooks, the woman he loved more than life itself, appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. Slender and with classically beautiful features, she always caused a catch in his breath whenever he thought of the fact that she was his, that she loved him.

  “Pumpkin and chocolate brownies and fresh-brewed coffee. Nick and Courtney should be here anytime.”

  Adam looked at her in surprise and checked his watch. “At this time of night? After eight? I’m surprised they’d get Garrett out so late.”

  “They have a babysitter for him and I knew if I wanted us all to get together for a quick visit it had better be around this time of night because you’ve been working such late hours.” She smiled up at him as he leaned down to give her a kiss.

  Adam knew he’d never grow tired of kissing her, this wheelchair-bound dynamo who had agreed to marry him. She was his heart, his very soul and a woman he admired more than any other on the face of the earth. Despite the fact that she would live the rest of her life in a wheelchair, he never saw her as handicapped.

  “Come in, my main man, and I’ll show you the picture of the wedding dress I’ve been working on for half the day.” He followed her into the large room that had once been a dining area but now served as their bedroom and her office.

  She wheeled to the computer and with a touch of her fingers pulled up a frothy white concoction that looked like it belonged in fairy-tale land. “What do you think?” she asked.

  “Isn’t it bad luck for me to see this before the wedding?” he asked.

  “Only if it’s on my body,” she replied.

  “I think it’s gorgeous. Is this your final design?”

  She frowned and stared at the screen thoughtfully. “I’m not sure. Maybe, maybe not.”

  He’d already seen a dozen designs since the day they’d agreed on a Christmas wedding. He had a feeling he’d see a dozen more before she made her final decision.

  At that moment the doorbell rang announcing Adam’s brother, Nick, and his wife, Courtney. Within minutes they were all gathered around the kitchen table with coffee and brownies served.

  They talked a bit about the family ranch where Nick and Courtney lived with their son and then Melanie said how pleased she was that her business of designing and making dance costumes was really beginning to take off. Of course it didn’t take long for the small talk to turn to murder.

  “It gives me the creeps to think that we’ve got another nut in this town,” Courtney said.

  “I know exactly what you mean,” Melanie replied. “First Abigail Swisher tried to kill you and take your baby and then Jim Collins tried to kill me. Maybe it’s something in our water system,” she said half-jokingly.

  “I’m hoping it’s somebody who has moved to town recently,” Adam said. “And I know Cameron is hoping the same thing.” He pointed to his brother’s empty coffee cup. “Ready for a refill?”

  “No, relax, big brother, I’m good for now,” Nick replied.

  Almost three months ago when Nick had come home to the family ranch after being gone for two years, he’d arrived to find the ranch in disrepair and Adam drinking like a fish to drown out thoughts of their oldest brother, Sam, who was in jail pending his trial for attempted murder.

  Nick had used a combination of a kick in the ass along with strong brotherly support to pull Adam out of his depression. The whole experience had made the two brothers’ relationship stronger than it had ever been.

  “I feel so sorry for Mary,” Courtney said. “I can’t imagine what she’s going through with all this and, other than Matt, she really doesn’t have anyone to talk to.”

  “She has Cameron,” Melanie replied. “I mean, they seem to be good friends.”

  “True, but I was talking more about a girlfriend.” Courtney took a bite of her brownie, washed it down with a quick sip of coffee and then continued. “I mean, isn’t it kind of strange that she’s been in town for eight years but doesn’t have any close friends? She doesn’t do lunch or go shopping with any girlfriends.”

  “What are you saying? That Mary should be on our list of suspects?” Adam asked.

  “No, nothing like that. We all know that Mary wouldn’t hurt a fly. I just think it’s weird not to have a close girlfriend and in all the time I worked for her I’ve never heard her mention anything about her husband or her time before she came to Grady Gulch.”

  “I heard her husband died in a car wreck. Maybe his death is just too hard for her to talk about,” Nick said. He frowned and reached to take Courtney’s hand.

  Adam knew he had to be thinking about how he’d reacted when their sister had been killed in a car accident. The day after Cherry’s funeral Nick had left town to escape his grief. Adam had tried to escape his in the bottom of a bottle.

  “And now, on a happier note,” Melanie said as she looked at Courtney. “There’s a rumor going around that Garrett is going to have a little brother or sister.”

  Courtney’s cheeks grew pink. “I guess sometimes the rumor mill gets it right, although I’m not even eight weeks yet.” She and Nick exchanged a glance that was filled with the love they had for each other.

  Adam looked at Melanie and reached for her hand. “The minute we’re officially husband and wife we’re going to work hard to give Garrett and his new sibling a couple of cousins.”

  “I think that sounds like a great idea,” Nick replied.

  “So do I.” Adam high-fived his brother as Courtney and Melanie rolled their eyes.

  “I’m glad you two have our family planning all under control, but what I really want is for the creep who’s killing women in this town behind bars,” Melanie said.

  Suddenly the pleasure of the evening was sucked out of Adam as he thought of the investigation that so far lead nowhere. Who was the person killing women and doing it so successfully? What kind of a monster were they chasing and would they manage to get him or her behind bars before another waitress wound up dead?

  Chapter 5

  The weather remained cold with temperatures below freezing the next day. Saturday afternoon Mary dressed in a pair of jeans and a pink sweater, wondering why she’d ever indulged Matt in his birthday wish to spend the day with Cameron. She should have put her foot down and just said no.

  The sound of Matt cheerfully whistling “Happy Birthday” came from his bedroom as he eagerly readied himself for the day. And that was why she’d agreed to the plan for the day. Matt had barely been able to contain his excitement at getting to spend some quality time with Cameron for his big day.

  She hadn’t realized just how deep Matt’s adulation for Cameron had run until now. But Cameron had been a constant male presence in Matt’s life for the past eight years, the only constant male presence.

  She should be grateful to have such a good, strong man as a role model for her son, but at the moment all she could think about were the nerves jumping around in the pit of her stomach and how often she’d fantasized about spending time away from the café with Cameron, a fantasy that she knew was dangerous.

  It was just one afternoon, she reminded herself and Matt would be the cent
er of attention, the birthday boy. There was no reason to think anything that happened today would change her relatively safe relationship with Cameron.

  There was no question about the simmering tension between them each time they were together. She recognized that simmer for what it was...sexual longing. But she’d be a fool to follow through on it and so it continued to smolder but she never would allow it to boil over.

  “Mom, it’s time to go,” Matt called from the living room, his excitement evident in the higher pitch of his voice.

  “I’ll be ready in just a minute,” she called back. She and Cameron had agreed that she and Matt would meet him at his place to begin their day with ice skating on his pond and when they finished Cameron would drive the three of them to the nearby town of Evanston to eat dinner at the Dragon Wok.

  With a final glance in the mirror and a flutter of nerves, she left the bathroom and joined Matt. “Skates, gloves, extra socks, neck scarf?”

  “I’ve got it all,” Matt replied as he patted the backpack he held in his hand. His blue eyes sparkled with eagerness. “We need to go. We don’t want to keep Sheriff Evans waiting.”

  Mary glanced at her wristwatch. “We’re fine, Matt. We told Cameron we’d be at his house at two and we will be. All I have to do is check in with Rusty before I leave.”

  Together the two walked from the back of the café to the kitchen where Rusty manned the grill and Junior was cutting up onions. “All set to head out?” Rusty asked.

  “All set,” Matt replied as he raced through the kitchen and headed for the café front door.

  “Somebody’s excited, but you look like you’re facing a firing squad,” Rusty observed.

  “I’m just leaving my comfort zone.”

  “You should do that more often. You’re here twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. You need a life, Mary.”

  She smiled. “This is my life. You know to call me if there are any problems here,” she said.

  “Number two on my cell phone is Mary,” Junior quipped and gave her his beatific smile.

  “That’s right,” Mary replied. “I’ll be back sometime after the dinner rush.”

  “We’ll be just fine. You go and have a good time,” Rusty replied.

  Within minutes Mary and Matt were in her car and headed for Cameron’s place on the south edge of town. As she drove, Matt kept up a steady chatter about what fun it would be to skate with Cameron. Mary had already told both of the males that she had no intention of skating. She would simply be their cheerleader on the sidelines.

  Thankfully it was a perfect day. Although the air was frigid, the sun was bright overhead and there was not a single wisp of wind. It didn’t take long for them to reach the attractive ranch house Cameron called home.

  It was a nice place, with a long driveway lined with cedar trees. The house was white with grass-green shutters and trim. Neat and tidy, it appeared to be owned by somebody proud of where he lived.

  As they pulled closer to the place, the pond appeared to the right, its icy surface glistening in the sun. “Awesome,” Matt exclaimed, eying the pond. “It’s bigger than I thought it would be.”

  The minute Mary pulled to a halt and shut off her engine, Cameron stepped out on his porch, as if he’d been watching for their arrival from the window.

  Once again Mary’s nerves tap-danced through her veins. Clad in a pair of worn, well-fitting jeans and a red-and-black flannel shirt, with the sun sparking off his deep brown hair and a smile curving his lips, he looked as handsome as she’d ever seen him.

  Matt exploded from the passenger seat like a rocket and headed toward Cameron. “Ah, the birthday boy and his mother,” Cameron said as Mary got out of her car. He clapped a hand on Matt’s back. “Twinkie and I have been waiting for you.”

  “Twinkie?” Matt looked at him in surprise. “You have Twinkie here?”

  By that time Mary had joined them on the porch. The smile Cameron gave her warmed her like a pot-bellied stove on a cold wintry night.

  “I have Twinkie for now,” he answered Matt. “I’m looking for a good home for her.” He opened the front door and gestured them inside. “How about we start the day with a cup of hot chocolate?”

  “Sounds good to me,” Matt said as he walked through the door and immediately encountered Twinkie dressed in a furry pink sweater. “Twinkie!” Matt dropped his bag on the floor and fell to his knees as the little dog leaped into his arms and slathered kisses on his cheek. Matt’s giggles filled the room.

  “It looks like Twinkie and I have the same fashion sense for a winter play day,” Mary said as she took off her coat to display her own pink sweater.

  Cameron smiled, his gaze sweeping over her. “Pink is Twinkie’s best color, and it looks like it’s yours, too.”

  Mary’s cheeks warmed at his compliment, and she was grateful as he turned his back to her to hang her coat in the entry closet.

  “Come on into the kitchen, I’ve got the hot chocolate ready to go.” Matt finally relinquished Twinkie and as Mary followed the two through the living room she couldn’t help but notice it was neat and clean, with furniture meant to comfort and embrace.

  The kitchen gave the same impression, a bright, airy room decorated in yellow and white and with a large wooden table that was more fitting for a family rather than a single man.

  “Please, sit,” Cameron said. He smiled at Mary once again, that charming, warm smile that made him oh so dangerous. “Even though Matt is the official birthday boy, today is also one where somebody is going to wait on you rather than the other way around.”

  “Hmm, I like the sound of that,” she replied and sank down into one of the chairs at the table.

  Matt sat in the chair on her left, Twinkie futilely attempting to jump into his lap. He looked at Cameron, who shook his head. “Twinkies aren’t allowed at the table,” Cameron said.

  Matt giggled. “She really is so sweet.”

  “I have a feeling Twinkie doesn’t know she’s a dog,” Cameron said drily. Twinkie barked as if in agreement, the sound as tiny as her little paws.

  “How come you’re looking for a home for her?” Matt asked as Cameron moved to the stove where a saucepan emitted the heavenly scent of rich dark cocoa and warm milk. “I mean, I know about Dorothy, but why don’t you just keep Twinkie here with you?”

  “Twinkie needs somebody who is at home more often than I am,” Cameron explained. “She needs somebody to take her out and play and give her lots of loving, and I’m not here enough to take care of her properly.” He removed the saucepan from the stove and poured the contents into three large mugs. “Now, enough about Twinkie, who wants marshmallows?”

  For the next thirty minutes they drank the creamy, rich cocoa and talked about birthdays and school and finally the two men began to challenge each other to skating contests.

  “I hear a lot of big macho talk, but I don’t see any action happening,” Mary said teasingly. That’s all it took for the party to move outside to the pond.

  As she followed behind the two men toward the gleaming icy water, she realized at some point in the last half an hour, she’d relaxed. Cameron was so good with Matt, teasing him and yet maintaining the boundaries of adult and child.

  He’d make an amazing father. He should be a father already. He should be married with children to fill the house that felt as if it were holding its breath, just waiting for a family to appear.

  Cameron had obviously planned ahead. Three lawn chairs were situated around a fire pit where wood was already laid for a fire. “We have to keep the cheerleader warm,” he said. He put a lighter to the wood and instantly got flames.

  “Thanks.” She sat in the chair closest to the fire and tried not to imagine what it would be like to be with Cameron every day and every night, to be the family that filled his house, the woman who shared his bed.

  Impossible dreams for a practical woman. She knew that any relationship with any man was impossible for her. She could never be open and
vulnerable enough with another human being to feel the intimacy that made a happy marriage. She would always be guarded, mindful of sharing pieces of herself and her past.

  As Cameron and Matt finished lacing up their skates, she leaned back in the chair, warmed by the fire and simply enjoyed the show of the boy she loved and the man she might have loved gliding and spinning across the ice.

  Cameron was surprisingly graceful on the ice, gliding in a way that showed he had spent many hours skating in his past. She could easily imagine him and his brother, Bobby, spending wintry days here challenging each other in spins and figure eights. Matt began a bit wobbly, but soon found his rhythm and the two glided side by side as if they belonged together, as if they were father and son.

  The vision ached in Mary’s heart for a moment and then she shoved it away, determined that the day be filled with laughter and happiness rather than regrets.

  * * *

  It was just after five when the three of them walked into the Dragon Wok in Evanston. The scent of exotic spices and soy sauce made Mary’s stomach gurgle with hunger. She’d been too nervous about the day to eat either breakfast or lunch.

  Her nerves had vanished, cast out by the laughter that had accompanied the afternoon and now she felt ravenous enough to eat the massive colorful papier-mâché dragon that hung across the length of the ceiling of the restaurant.

  They were led to a booth in the back of the busy establishment. Matt slid in next to Cameron and Mary sat alone on the opposite side, with their coats in a pile next to her.

  “I’m starving,” Matt announced and grabbed one of the three menus the hostess had left when she’d seated them. “Sometimes I wish Mom and Rusty would make Chinese food.”

  “Then we wouldn’t have an opportunity to have special outings here,” Mary replied.

  “True,” Matt agreed. “But I also want to order a bunch of things when we come here to eat.”

  “Just make sure you save room for the birthday cake I’ve got back at my place,” Cameron said.