Confessing to the Cowboy

by Carla Cassidy

  “Then he’s here,” she said, her heart once again beating frantically.

  “Would you recognize him after all this time?”

  “Surely I would,” she said, her hesitation obvious in her voice. “His features are burned into my brain, at least the way he looked the last time I saw him. I’m certain I haven’t seen anyone here in Grady Gulch who even remotely resembles him. But he’s got to be behind this. He told me a hundred times when we were married that if I ever left him he’d hunt me down and kill me, that he’d make me suffer in ways I couldn’t begin to imagine.” Her voice cracked when she thought of the women who had died because of her...because of what she’d done to Jason. She’d had the temerity to stand up to him, to beat him down and leave him and she knew there would never be forgiveness or forgetfulness in his heart. And so three women were dead because she’d cared about them, because they’d worked in her café.

  Cameron’s hand covered hers, as if he knew the direction of her thoughts. “Mary, this isn’t your fault,” he said softly. “Somebody killed those women, but it wasn’t you. You loved those women and I don’t want to see any self-blame in your eyes.”

  He squeezed her hand tightly and then released it and leaned back in his chair. “If you haven’t seen Jason here in town, then he’s either sneaking around after dark and not being seen by anyone or he’s paid somebody else to do his dirty work for him.”

  “Either is possible,” she admitted. “Jason was filthy rich when we got married and over the years I’m sure that hasn’t changed. He could name a price that might push somebody into doing something like this. I just can’t imagine who.”

  “We’re going to figure that out,” Cameron said with a steely determination. “If Jason is anywhere in this state, we’ll find him and if he has some henchman working for him we’ll find him, too. If what we believe is true, then we now have a motive for these killings and we know what we’re looking for. I just don’t want to get total tunnel vision and think this is the answer to everything. Nine years is a long time to hold a grudge.”

  “But this is a theory that finally makes some sort of horrible sense,” she said, still reeling with the information she’d just learned. Although it frightened her to think about Jason being somewhere in the area, she couldn’t help but feel as if a thousand-pound weight had been taken off her shoulders. It was a weight she’d carried for too long.

  “I just wanted to come by first thing this morning to let you know that you don’t have to worry about being arrested. You aren’t wanted for any crime.” Cameron rose from the table and started to grab his coat, but before he could Mary got up as well and impulsively wrapped her arms around his neck.

  Instantly he embraced her and pulled her close. “Thank you,” she said fervently as she gazed up at his handsome face. “I feel like you’ve given me back my life, given me back my son.”

  And with all the raw emotions suddenly rushing through her, she felt more alive than she could ever remember feeling. “For the first time in my life I’m not afraid of you learning about my past, I don’t have any more secrets that could destroy me.”

  As she gazed up at Cameron, she knew he was going to kiss her and she wanted it...she wanted him. She’d wanted him so badly, for so long, but had been too afraid to get close, too afraid he’d discover that she was a murderer. Now there was no secret keeping her from him and as his lips touched hers, she welcomed his kiss and melted closer into him.

  It was crazy, it was the beginning of the breakfast rush in the café, but Mary had no desire to leave this room, this man who now held her with such command, yet who kissed her so tenderly.

  He pulled her closer and she leaned into him, close enough that she could tell he was aroused and she wanted him in her bedroom, beneath her sheets where she’d dreamed about him so many times in the past eight years.

  The kiss seemed to last forever, an explosion of want that had been building for what seemed like an eternity. Cameron kissed far better in real life than in her fantasies, his lips a sweet combination of tenderness and demand.

  It was he who broke the kiss, dropping his hands from around her waist and stepping back from her. His eyes were a deep golden hue with green flecks that sparked like emeralds.

  “Mary...I...”

  “I want you, Cameron,” she said hurriedly, before the spell between them was broken, before his eyes lost the aching want that filled their deepest depths. “I’ve wanted you since the first time you entered the café and hung your hat on the wall, the first time I took your breakfast order, but I’ve been afraid to follow through because of what you might find out about me.”

  His gaze flared even hotter at her words. “But maybe this isn’t the best time for you to be acting on those feelings.” Although he said the right words, as far as she was concerned there was no better time than this moment.

  “Matt’s in school, the café can run just fine without me and there’s no better time than now.” With an energized desire rushing through her she reached out and took his hand in hers and pulled him toward her bedroom door.

  The last time she’d had sex with a man it had been a night that Jason had taken her roughly, with only his need to dominate and control in mind, with only his own desires in charge.

  She knew with Cameron it would be different and no matter what the future held, she wanted the tall, solid lawman to hold her in his arms, to make love to her and show her what making love could be.

  He didn’t stop her from pulling him forward and when they entered her bedroom he once again took her in his arms and kissed her with enough emotion that it nearly stole her breath away.

  His hands tangled in her hair and she once again wound her arms around his neck, pressing herself into the solid strength of him. “I won’t lie to you, Mary. I’ve thought about this—about being with you—for years,” he whispered into her ear. His warm breath coupled with his words shot a wave of warmth through her.

  This time when she stepped away from him it was to pull her T-shirt over her head. There were no thoughts of the café or murders, no worries about arrest or anything else. All her thoughts were of Cameron and making true the fantasies she’d had about being in his arms.

  As she pulled off her T-shirt and tossed it to a chair next to the bed, Cameron stared at her for a long moment. “You’re just as beautiful as I ever imagined,” he said, his voice husky, and then his big fingers fumbled frantically at his shirt buttons.

  They undressed like two teenagers, frenzied with the fear of discovery, of interruption. The morning sunshine streaked through her window. Cameron clothed was amazing, but Cameron undressed was like a statue of a Greek god. His broad shoulders emphasized his slender waist and hips. His skin glistened with a faint bronze hue that made her want to touch him all over.

  While he took off his socks, she slid beneath the blankets on the bed, her heart rapping a rhythm she scarcely remembered. He joined her in the bed and, as he gathered her in his arms, she felt his heartbeat matching the racing speed of her own.

  She would never forget the horror of her marriage to Jason, but she had a feeling that no matter what the future held, making love to Cameron would brand him in her heart from this day forward.

  Chapter 9

  Cameron felt as if he’d entered a dream world. All rational thought had escaped his brain the moment he’d kissed Mary. Now with her naked body pressed against his he was lost in her warmth, in her sweet scent.

  As their lips clung together he filled his palms with her full breasts, loving the way her nipples instantly rose in response and she gasped in pleasure against his mouth.

  On some level he knew what they were doing was wrong, that the timing was off and they’d never even been on a date. There had been no courtship and yet he couldn’t imagine how something that felt so right could be wrong in any way.

  There were no thoughts of crimes or criminals, no disturbing visions of the dead as he moved his mouth along the curve of her jaw and down the
slender column of her neck. She grabbed hold of his hair, and his tongue slid across one of her turgid nipples, teasing the tip with gentle flicks.

  “Cameron,” she whispered his name as he captured the nipple in his mouth, loving the taste of her. There was no question in the single word that escaped her lips, just a sense of wonder that made him want to please her like no man had ever pleased her before and never would again.

  With this thought in mind he set about to drive her insane with desire, to make her body sing beneath his slow caresses and soulful kisses.

  They moved together as if they’d made love a thousand times before, and Cameron had done so in his dreams for years. He knew her taste, the feel of her silky skin against his hands, the whispered sighs of delight that escaped her with each touch.

  What surprised him was that she gave as she received, eagerly stroking his skin, pressing her lips against his throat, his chest. He couldn’t get close enough to her and she seemed just as insistent.

  The desire he felt that was already at fever pitch only rose higher when she encircled his hardness in her hand. He gasped and held his breath, afraid that by her intimate touch it would all end before it had truly begun.

  He strained against the need for his own release, wanting nothing more than to part her legs, enter her and finish whether she was with him or not. But he wasn’t going to do that. He wanted her with him all the way.

  Instead of focusing on the sensations she wrought in him, he slid his hand down the flat of her stomach, along her inner thigh and found her moist center with his fingertips.

  Instantly her fingers around him slackened as she arched up her hips to meet his feathering touch. A low moan escaped her lips, and he moved his fingers faster, wanting her to reach her release, needing her to completely shatter before he took her.

  She grasped the sheets on either side of her, her eyes fluttering as she shuddered with her climax. It was the sexiest, most amazing thing Cameron had ever seen and immediately he moved between her thighs, needing to bury himself in her heat.

  She welcomed him, grabbing his buttocks to pull him in closer, and as he sank deep within her he felt as if he’d finally come home. For several long moments he didn’t move, but remained perfectly still, with the warmth of her breath on the underside of his jaw.

  He wanted to stay frozen in this moment, buried deep inside her and her gaze holding his with a sense of sweet wonder. But he couldn’t help the primal needs of his body, his own need for release. He pulled his hips back and stroked back into her in a slow rhythm that had her gasping his name with surrender.

  Faster and faster he moved against her, her fingernails raking erotically across his back as his own release built closer and closer.

  His climax overwhelmed him, and he stiffened against her, crying out her name. They remained unmoving, still engaged with him holding the bulk of his weight on his elbows.

  “I should bring you good news more often,” he finally said.

  She laughed, the joyful sound wrapping around his heart. “Oh, Cameron, that was amazing and you’ve given me back my life,” she said.

  Just that quickly all the elements of the case thundered back into his mind. He kissed her on the forehead and then rolled away from her. “I’ll be right back.” He grabbed his clothes from the floor and padded naked across her living room and into the bathroom.

  It was only as he got dressed that the full ramifications of his news to her struck him. Her abusive ex-husband was alive and possibly killing people she cared about, women in his town.

  As he exited the bathroom she disappeared into it and Cameron sat back down at the kitchen table to wait for her.

  Making love with her had been more amazing than any fantasy or dream he’d ever entertained. He could still smell the faint raspberry scent of her lingering on his skin, a fragrance that made a new desire for her roar through him.

  But he couldn’t think about that now. This had simply been a beautiful respite in the hell that was going on all around them. He had more important things to think about, more important things to discuss with her than what this had meant to each of them or when would be the next time they could get together intimately.

  She came out of the bathroom once again dressed for her day at work, but with a smile and a twinkle in her bright blue eyes that hadn’t been there before.

  “I can’t tell you how much I wanted that to happen,” she said as she sat in the chair next to him. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips slightly swollen and he’d never seen her looking so achingly beautiful.

  “Mary, I’ve cared about you and your son for a very long time, and as happy as you are to discover that you aren’t a murderer, you have to realize that in all probability Jason is either here in town or has hired somebody to do his dirty work...and that dirty work probably includes your eventual murder.”

  The shining light in her eyes dimmed slightly and her smile fell as she held his gaze. “I know that,” she replied soberly. “And I’m hoping that you’ll find him before that happens. At least now you know what you’re looking for. If he paid somebody, then that person would suddenly be flush with cash, and if he’s here in town, somewhere sooner or later somebody will see him.”

  Cameron nodded, his mind already working the details of what needed to be done. “I’ve downloaded a picture of Jason taken ten years ago, the latest picture of him I could find, and I’m going to distribute it all over town. Granted, he could have changed some in those years, but hopefully somebody will recognize him. I’m also going to check around to see who maybe has bought a flashy new car or is tossing around cash that he or she shouldn’t have. But in the meantime I’m worried about you.”

  “I’m a little worried about me, too,” she admitted with a self-conscious laugh.

  “Why don’t you and Matt move in with me for a while?” Although he made the offer with her safety in mind, there was no question that he liked the idea of her and Matt beneath his roof.

  “Cameron, you have a killer to catch. The last thing you need is to babysit us.” She swept a strand of her blond hair behind one ear and looked around the room. “We’re as safe here as we would be anywhere. The café is full of people from dawn until late night.” She raised her chin a notch higher. “Besides, I’m not going to let him chase me away from my home, from my livelihood. He took enough away from me when we were married.”

  She leaned forward, her eyes burning with a fervent light. “Just find him, Cameron. Find whoever it is before they kill somebody else...before he does get to me.”

  What he wanted to do was wrap her up in body armor to keep her safe. What he’d like to do was whisk her and her son far away from Grady Gulch until these crimes were solved and somebody was in jail. But he could tell by the determined glint in her eyes that neither of those were options.

  “Then I’d better get moving,” he said reluctantly as he got up from the table. “I’ve got a killer to catch.”

  She stood, as well. “And I have a café to run.”

  For a moment they simply looked at each other and then she moved to him, raised up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you, Cameron.”

  “For what?” he asked.

  “For not arresting me the minute I confessed to murder, for taking the time to check things out and discovering the truth. Thank you for making me feel like a beautiful, desirable woman for the first time in years and reminding me that lovemaking isn’t all about pain and degradation.”

  Her words created a lump in the back of his throat and as he kissed her on the forehead he swore that he’d do everything in his power to make sure that she and Matt survived to live a full and happy life in his town...hopefully with him.

  Once back at the office, it didn’t take him long to get things rolling. He sent Ben to the printer with the photo of Jason McKnight and with the instructions to make enough flyers not only to be posted in Grady Gulch but in Evanston, as well.

  It was possible that Jason McKnight
could be staying in the neighboring town and only coming into Grady Gulch in the dark of night for his reign of terror.

  He also assigned a couple deputies to check more closely into both Denver Walton’s and Thomas Manning’s financial records.

  The fact that Denver was driving around in a brand-new truck with no means of visible support was troubling, as was Thomas Manning’s history with his waitress wife. Both needed closer scrutiny.

  They could possibly be on Jason McKnight’s payroll. Denver might have joined the dark side in a desperate escape from Maddy and her money and Thomas for personal reasons of misguided revenge.

  Once again he logged on to his computer to look up up Jason and Samantha McKnight. He wound up finding a grainy newspaper photo of their wedding. She was clad in a simple long white dress with beading across the bodice. She looked young and innocent and with the expectancy of love shining from her eyes. The photo broke his heart as he knew all her expectations had been shattered by a violent, abusive man.

  Jason was suave and slender in a black tuxedo. His black hair was perfectly styled and he had the features of an aristocrat, but it was the flat, cold proprietary gaze at Samantha that turned Cameron’s stomach.

  He had to find Jason McKnight, and if Jason wasn’t around but was rather pulling strings from afar, then Cameron had to find his puppet.

  As he thought of Mary and the danger she was in, his heart crunched painfully in his chest. He had to protect her at all costs. He wasn’t about to lose something just as it had been found.

  * * *

  Concentration was next to impossible for Mary as the afternoon wore on. She screwed up two orders and, during every spare minute, found herself drifting off into thoughts of Cameron and what they’d shared.

  The fact that she hadn’t murdered Jason was both a curse and a blessing. She would never again have to look over her shoulder waiting for a tap from a lawman with a warrant, and yet now she had to keep vigilant to make sure Jason didn’t get a chance to finish what she’d always thought he’d do during their marriage—kill her.