Uncle Wiggily's Adventures

by Howard Roger Garis

  Now please don't feel badly, for I'm going to tell you in the next storyhow Uncle Wiggily saved Fido, and also how the rabbit went to ArabellaChick's surprise party--that is I will if our automobile doesn't turnupside down, and break my ice cream cone.

  STORY VI

  UNCLE WIGGILY AT THE PARTY

  Well, when Uncle Wiggily Longears found that the elephant wouldn't get offhis trunk--oh, listen to me! What I meant to say was, that when UncleWiggily saw those two boys running off with Fido Flip-Flop, the littletrick dog, as I told you about in the story before this, the old gentlemanrabbit was so surprised at first that he didn't know what to do.

  "Won't you please come back with that little doggie?" begged UncleWiggily, but the bad boys kept right on. I guess they knew how smart Fidowas, and they wanted to get up a show with him. Anyhow, they kept onrunning through the woods, holding him tightly in their arms.

  "Oh, dear! This is terrible!" exclaimed Uncle Wiggily. "I'll never get anygood fortune if Fido has such bad luck. And it was partly my fault, too,for if we hadn't been doing tricks, we would have heard these boys coming,and could have run away. Well, now I must save Fido."

  So Uncle Wiggily sat down on a stump, and thought, and thought, andthought of all the plans he could think of, to save the doggie from thetwo boys, and at last he decided the only way to do was to scare them.

  "Then they'll drop Fido, and run away," said the old gentleman rabbit."Let me see, how can I scare them? I know, I'll make believe I'm a tiger!"

  So what did that brave Uncle Wiggily do? but go to a mud hole, and withhis crutch dipped into the mud, he made himself all striped over like atiger that you see in a circus. Oh, he was a most ferocious sight when hefinished decorating himself! Then he hid his satchel in the bushes, and hestarted off on a short cut through the woods, to get ahead of the boys.Faster and faster through the woods went Uncle Wiggily, and he looked sopeculiarly terrifying that all the animals who saw him were scared out oftheir wits, and one old blue-jay bird was so frightened that he wiggledhis tail up and down, and hid his head in a hollow tree.

  Well, by and by, after a while, Uncle Wiggily got to a place in the woodswhere he knew those boys, with Fido Flip-Flop, would soon come by. Thenthe rabbit hid himself in the bushes, so that his long ears wouldn't show.For he knew that if the boys saw them, they would know right away hewasn't a tiger, no matter if he was striped like one.

  In a few minutes along came the boys, and they were talking about whatthey were going to do to Fido, and how they would put him in a cage, andmake him do lots of tricks. All of a sudden there was a rustling in thebushes, and Uncle Wiggily just stuck out his head and part of his body,laying his ears flat back where they could not be seen. But the boys couldsee the mud stripes, only they didn't know they were just mud, youunderstand.

  "Oh! See that!" cried one boy.

  "Yes, it's a tigery-tiger!" exclaimed the other boy.

  "Let's run!" shouted both the boys together. "The tiger will eat us up!"

  And just then Uncle Wiggily growled as loudly as he could, a real fiercegrowl, and he rattled the bushes and stuck out his striped paws, and thoseboys dropped Fido Flip-Flop, and ran away, as hard as they could throughthe woods, leaving Fido to join the rabbit.

  "Thank you very much for saving me, Uncle Wiggily," said the dog, as soonas he got over being frightened. "That was a good trick, to pretend youwere a tiger. But I knew you right away, only, of course, I wasn't goingto tell those boys who you were. It served them right, for squeezing methe way they did. Now we'll go on, and see if we can find a fortune foryou."

  So they went back to where Uncle Wiggily had left his valise, and there itwas safe and sound, and inside it were some nice things to eat, and therabbit and doggie had a dinner there in the woods, after the mud stripeswere washed off.

  Then they went on and on, for ever so long, and nothing happened, exceptthat a mosquito bit Fido on the end of his nose, and every time he sneezedit tickled him.

  "Well, I guess we won't have any more adventures to-day, Uncle Wiggily,"spoke the doggie, but, a moment later, they heard a rustling in the bushesand, before they could hide themselves, out jumped Arabella Chick, thesister of Charlie, the rooster boy.

  "Oh, you dear Uncle Wiggily!" she exclaimed, "you're just in time."

  "What for?" asked Uncle Wiggily; "for the train?"

  "No, for my party," answered Arabella. "I'm going to have one for all myfriends, and I want you to come. Will you?"

  "Oh, I guess so, Arabella. But you see, I have a friend with me, and----"

  "Oh, he can come too," spoke Arabella, making a bow to Fido Flip-Flop. SoUncle Wiggily introduced the doggie to the chickie girl, and the chickiegirl to the doggie.

  Then they went on together to the party, which was held in a nice bigchicken coop.

  Oh, I wish you could have been there! It was just too nice for anything!Sammie and Susie Littletail were there, and they were so glad to see UncleWiggily again. He said he hadn't been very lucky in finding his fortune sofar, but his rheumatism was not much worse, and he was going to keep ontraveling. He sent his love to all the folks, and said he'd be home sometime later.

  Then, of course, all the other animal friends were at the party and theyplayed games--games of all kinds, including a new one called "Please don'tsit on my hat, and I won't sit on yours." It was too funny for anything,really it was.

  Then, of course, there were good things to eat. Buddy Pigg passed aroundthe ice cream, and just as he was handing a plate of it to Jennie Chipmunkit slipped--I mean the ice cream slipped--and went right into UncleButter's lap. But the old goat didn't care a bit. He said it reminded himof a pail of paste, and he ate the ice cream, and Nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzygot Jennie some more.

  Then Flip-Flop and Uncle Wiggily did some of their tricks, and every onesaid they were fine, and they thought it was the best party they had everbeen at.

  But all of a sudden, just as they were playing the game called "Jump onthe piano, and play a queer tune," there came a knock at the door.

  "Who's there?" asked Arabella Chick.

  "I am," answered a voice, "and I want Uncle Wiggily Longears instantly! Hemust come with me!" And they all looked from the window, and there stood abig dog, dressed up like a soldier, and he had a gun with him. And hewanted Uncle Wiggily to come out, and every one was frightened, for fearhe'd shoot the old gentleman rabbit.

  But please don't you get alarmed. I wouldn't have that happen for worlds,and in the next story, if I catch a fish in the milk bottle, and hedoesn't bite my finger, I'll tell you about Uncle Wiggily in a parade. Andit will be a Decoration Day story.

  STORY VII

  UNCLE WIGGILY IN A PARADE

  Arabella Chick's party seemed to break up very suddenly when the guestssaw that soldier-dog with the gun waiting outside the door. Buddy Piggslipped out of a back window, and ran home with his tail behind him. Oh,excuse me, guinea pigs don't have a tail, do they? Anyhow he ran home, andso did Sammie and Susie Littletail, and Johnnie and Billie Bushytail, andthe Wibblewobble children, and Peetie and Jackie Bow Wow too.

  But, of course, Arabella Chick couldn't run home because she was at homealready, so she just looked out of the window once more, and there thedog-soldier stood, and he was looking in his gun to see if it was loaded.

  "Well, is Uncle Wiggily coming out?" called the dog again.

  "I guess I am--that is--are you sure you want me?" asked the poor oldgentleman rabbit, puzzled like.

  "Yes, of course I want you," replied the dog.

  "Then I guess I've got to go!" exclaimed Uncle Wiggily, as he looked forhis crutch and valise. "I guess this is the end of my fortune-hunting.Goodbye everybody!" And he felt so badly that two big tears rolled downhis ears--I mean his eyes.

  Well, he bravely walked out of the door, and as he did so the dog-soldier,with the gun, exclaimed:

  "Ah, here you are at last! Now hurry up, Uncle Wiggily, or we'll be latefor the parade!"

  And, would you believe it? th
at dog was good, kind, old Percival, who usedto be in a circus. And of course he wouldn't hurt the rabbit gentleman foranything. Percival just put his gun to his shoulder, and said:

  "Come on, we'll get in the parade now."

  "Parade? What parade?" asked Uncle Wiggily. "Oh my! how you frightenedme!"

  "Why the Decoration Day parade," answered Percival. "To-day is the daywhen we put flowers on the soldiers' graves, and remember them for beingso brave as to go to war. All old soldiers march in the parade, and so doall their friends. I'm going to march, and I'm going to put flowers on alot of soldiers' graves. I happened to remember that you were once in thewar, so I came for you. I didn't mean to scare you. You were in the war,weren't you?"

  "Yes," said Uncle Wiggily, happy now because he knew he wasn't going toget shot, "I once went to war, and killed a lot of mosquitoes."

  "Good! I thought so!" exclaimed Percival. "Well, I met Grandfather GooseyGander, and he said he thought you were at this party, so I came for you.Come on, now, the parade is almost ready to start."

  "Oh, how you did frighten us!" exclaimed Arabella, whose heart was stillgoing pitter-patter. "We thought you were going to hurt Uncle Wiggily,Percival."

  "Oh, I'm so sorry I alarmed you," spoke the circus dog politely. "I won'tdo it again."

  Well, in a little while Percival and Uncle Wiggily were at the parade. Theold gentleman rabbit left his satchel at Arabella's house, and only tookhis crutch. But he limped along just like a real soldier, and Percivalcarried his gun as bravely as one could wish.

  Oh, I wish you could have heard the bands playing, and the drumsbeating--the little kind that sound like when you drop beans on thekitchen oil-cloth, and the big drums, that go "Boom-boom!" like thunderand lightning, and the fifes that squeak like a mouse in the cheese trap,and then the big blaring horns, that make a sound like a circusperformance.

  They were all there, and there were lots of soldiers and horses and wagonsfilled with flowers to put on the graves of the soldiers, who were sobrave that they didn't mind going to war to fight for their country,though war is a terrible thing.

  Then the march began, and Uncle Wiggily and Percival stepped out as braveas anyone in all the parade. Oh, how fine they looked! and, when theymarched past, all the animal people, and some real boys and girls, andpapas and mammas clapped their hands and cried "Hurrah!" at the sight ofthe old gentleman rabbit limping along on his crutch, with the dog-soldiermarching beside him.

  "Who knows," whispered Percival to Uncle Wiggily, "who knows but what youmay discover your fortune to-day?"

  "Indeed I may," answer Uncle Wiggily. "Who knows?"

  Well, that was a fine parade. But something happened. I was afraid itwould, but I'll tell you all about it, and you can see for yourselfwhether or not I was right.

  All of a sudden one man, with a big horn--a horn large enough to put aloaf of mother's bread down inside the noisy end--all of a sudden this manblew a terrible blast--"Umpty-umpty-Umph! Umph!" My, what a noise he madeon that horn.

  Now, right in front of this man was a little boy-duck riding on a pony.Yes, you've guessed who he was--he was Jimmy Wibblewobble. And when thatman blew the loud blast, the pony was frightened, and ran away with Jimmieon his back.

  Faster and faster ran the pony, and Jimmie Wibblewobble clung to his back,fearing every moment he would be thrown off. In and out among the peopleand animals in the parade, in and out among trolley cars and automobiles,in and out, and from one side to another of the street ran the frightenedpony.

  "Oh, poor Jimmie will be killed!" cried Percival.

  "No, he will not, for I will save him!" shouted Uncle Wiggily. So thatbrave rabbit ran right out to where he saw Munchie Trot, the little ponyboy.

  "Let me jump on your back, Munchie," said Uncle Wiggily, "and then we'llrace after that runaway pony and grab off poor Jimmie. And run as fast asyou can, Munchie!"

  "I certainly will!" cried Munchie. So Uncle Wiggily got on Munchie's back,and away they started after the runaway pony.

  Faster and faster ran Munchie, and by this time the other little horsiewas getting tired. Jimmie was still clinging to his back, and asking himnot to run so fast, but the pony was so frightened he didn't listen to theduck-boy.

  Then, just as he was going to run into a hot peanut wagon, and maybe tossJimmie off into the red-hot roaster, all at once Uncle Wiggily, onMunchie's back, galloped up alongside of the runaway pony. And as quick asyou can drink a glass of lemonade, Uncle Wiggily grabbed Jimmie up onMunchie's back beside him, and so saved the duck-boy's life. And then therunaway pony stopped short, all of a sudden, and didn't bump into the hotpeanut wagon, after all, and he was sorry he had run away, and scaredfolks.

  Then the Decoration Day parade went on, and everyone said how brave UncleWiggily was. But he hadn't yet found his fortune, and so in the storyafter this in case our front porch doesn't run away, and take the backsteps with it, so I have to sleep on the doormat, I'll tell you aboutUncle Wiggily in the fountain.

  STORY VIII

  UNCLE WIGGILY IN THE FOUNTAIN

  Well, after the Decoration Day parade, and the things that happened in it,such as the pony running away with Jimmie Wibblewobble, Uncle WiggilyLongears thought he'd like to go off to some quiet place and rest.

  "Oh, can't you come with me?" asked Percival, the old circus dog. "We'llgo to the Bow-Wows house, and have something to eat."

  "No, I'm afraid I can't go," replied the old gentleman rabbit. "You see Imust travel on to seek my fortune, for I haven't found it yet, and I stillhave the rheumatism."

  "Why don't you try to lose that rheumatism somewhere?" asked Percival. "Iwould, if it's such a bother."

  "Oh, I've tried and tried and tried, but I can't seem to lose it," repliedUncle Wiggily. "So I think I'll travel on. I'm much obliged to you forletting me march in the parade."

  Then the old gentleman rabbit got his valise, and, with his crutch, heonce more started off. He went on and on, up one hill and down another,over the fields where the horses and cows and sheep were pulling up thegrass, and chewing it, so the man wouldn't have to cut it with the lawnmower; on and on he went. Then Uncle Wiggily reached the woods, where theferns and wild flowers grow.

  "This is a fine place," he said as he sat down on a flat stump. "I think Iwill eat my dinner," so he opened the satchel, and took out a sandwichmade of yellow carrots and red beets, and very pretty they looked on thewhite bread, let me tell you; very nice indeed!

  Uncle Wiggily was eating away, and he was brushing the crumbs off his noseby wiggling his ears, when, all of a sudden, he heard a cat crying. Oh,such a loud cry as it was!

  "Why, some poor kittie must be lost," thought the old gentleman rabbit."I'll see if I can find it."

  Then the cry sounded again, and, in another moment, out of a tree flew abig bird.

  "Oh, maybe that bird stuck his sharp beak in the kittie and made it cry,"thought Uncle Wiggily. "Bird, did you do that?" he asked, calling to thebird, who was flying around in the air.

  "Did I do what?" asked the bird.

  "Did you stick the kittie, and make it cry?"

  "Oh, no," answered the bird. "I made that cat-crying noise myself. I am acat-bird, you know," and surely enough that bird went "Mew! Mew! Mew!"three times, just like that, exactly as if a cat had cried under yourwindow, when you were trying to go to sleep.

  "Ha! That is very strange!" exclaimed the rabbit. "So you are a cat-bird."

  "Yes, and my little birds are kittie-birds," was the answer. "I'll showyou."

  So the bird went "Mew! Mew! Mew!" again, and a lot of the little birdscame flying around and they all went "Mew! Mew!" too, just like kitties.Oh, I tell you cat-birds are queer things! and how they do love cherrieswhen they are ripe! Eh?

  "That is very good crying, birdies," said Uncle Wiggily, "and I think I'llgive you something to eat, to pay for it." So he took out from his valisesome peanuts, that Percival, the circus dog, had given him, and UncleWiggily fed them to the cat-bird and her kittie-bir
ds.

  "You are very kind," said the mamma bird, "and if we can ever do you afavor we will."

  And now listen, as the telephone girl says, those birds are going to doUncle Wiggily a favor in a short time--a very short time indeed.

  Well, after the birds had eaten all the peanuts they flew away, and UncleWiggily started off once more. He hadn't gone very far before he came toa fountain. You know what that is. It's a thing in a park that squirts upwater, just like when you fill a rubber ball with milk or lemonade andsqueeze it. Only a fountain is bigger, of course.

  This fountain that Uncle Wiggily came to had no water in it, for it wasbeing cleaned. There was a big basin, with a pipe up through the middle,and this was where the water spouted up when it was running.

  "This is very strange," said Uncle Wiggily, for he had never seen afountain before, "perhaps I can find my fortune in here. I'll go look." Sodown he jumped into the big empty fountain basin, which was as large asseven wash tubs made into one. And it was so nice and comfortable there,and so shady, for there were trees near it, that, before he knew it, UncleWiggily fell fast asleep, with his head on his satchel for a pillow.

  And then he had a funny dream. He dreamed that it was raining, and thathis umbrella turned inside out, and got full of holes, and that he wasgetting all wet.

  "My!" exclaimed Uncle Wiggily, as he gave a big sneeze. "This is a veryreal dream. I actually believe I _am_ wet!"

  Then he got real wide awake all of a sudden, and he found that he wasright in the middle of a lot of wetness, for the man had turned the wateron in the fountain unexpectedly, not knowing that the old gentlemanrabbit was asleep there.