Uncle Wiggily's Adventures

by Howard Roger Garis

  "I'll try being kind to the boys," he said. "You let me have my way, Mr.Monkey."

  Well, pretty soon, not so very long, the show began. The monkey wentinside the tent, and he blew on the horn, and he made music on the fiddle,and sang a funny song about a little great big pussy, who had a redballoon. She stuck a pin inside it, and it played a go-bang! tune.

  Of course, as soon as the show started the people came crowding up to thetent, just as they do at the circus. There were men and women, and littleboys and girls, and big boys and girls, and they all wanted to get insideto see what the monkey was doing. But, do you know, I believe all that hewas doing was playing monkey-doodle tricks--but, of course, I might bemistaken.

  Well, as it always happens, some boys didn't have any money with which topay their way inside the tent. And, of course, as it will sometimeshappen, one boy said to another:

  "Hey! I know a way we can crawl in under the tent, and see the show, andnot have anything to pay."

  "But that wouldn't be fair," spoke the other boy. "It would be cheating,and there's nothing meaner in this world than to cheat, whether it'splaying a baseball game or going to a circus."

  "I guess you're right," said the first boy. "What shall we do, though? Iwant to see the show."

  "Well, we must be fair, anyhow," spoke the second boy. "We can't crawl inunder the tent, but perhaps if we ask the monkey to let us in for nothinghe'll do it."

  "Very well, we will," said the first boy. So they went up to the monkeyand asked if they could go in for nothing, but, of course, he wouldn't letthem.

  "May we crawl in under the tent, then?" asked the second boy.

  "If Uncle Wiggily will let you," answered the monkey, blinking his twoeyes and wrapping his tail around his neck.

  So those boys tried to crawl in under the tent, and as soon as UncleWiggily saw them he rushed up and cried out:

  "Hey! Hold on there! Nobody must go under the tent. You must buy aticket," and he shook a feather at the boys and, instead of hitting them,he only tickled them, and didn't hurt them a bit, for they sneezed.

  Well, those boys were very troublesome. They kept on trying to crawl underthe tent, and Uncle Wiggily rushed here, there and around the cornertrying to stop them, and he cracked the lash on his whip, just like theman in the circus ring. But those boys kept on trying to crawl under thetent, for the monkey had given them permission, you see.

  So finally Uncle Wiggily said:

  "I'll give those boys a little show myself, outside the tent, for nothing.Then maybe they'll stop bothering me."

  So he stood on his left ear, and then on his right ear, and then he jumpedthrough a hoop, and rolled over, and barked liked a dog, and all the boysthat had tried to crawl under the tent to see the monkey-show for nothing,ran out to see Uncle Wiggily's show.

  And he did lots of tricks and kept them all from crawling in under thetent, and he even ate a popcorn ball, standing on his hind legs, andwiggling his left ear with a pin-wheel on it. Then, after a while, themonkey-show was all over, and the monkey said:

  "Uncle Wiggily, you did very well. You treated those troublesome boys justfine! So I'll give you ten pennies, and perhaps they will make you have agood fortune."

  Then the monkey gave Uncle Wiggily ten pennies, and he went to sleep in afeather bed, while the old gentleman rabbit went down to the drug store toget an ice cream soda.

  And what happened after the show was over, and what Uncle Wiggily didafter he had his ice cream, I'll tell you in the next story which will beabout Uncle Wiggily in a balloon. That is, if our pussy cat doesn't getall covered with red paint, and look like a tomato growing on a strawberryvine. So watch out, and don't let that happen.

  STORY XII

  UNCLE WIGGILY IN A BALLOON

  Well, just as I expected, something happened to my pussy-cat named Peter.He didn't fall into the pot of red paint, but he either ran away, or elsesome one took him. So now I have no pussy-cat. But I'll tell you a storyabout Uncle Wiggily just the same.

  The old gentleman rabbit stayed with the monkey for several days, and hewas so kind and good to the troublesome boys--Uncle Wiggily was, Imean--and he did such funny tricks for them, that they didn't crawl underthe tent any more, and the monkey could do his tricks in peace andquietness.

  "Oh, you have been a great help to me," said the monkey to the rabbit,"and I would like you to work for me all Summer. I am now going to travelon to the next town, and if you like you may go with me and keep the boysthere from crawling under the tent."

  "No, I thank you," replied Uncle Wiggily slowly, as he put some bread andbutter, and a piece of pie, into his satchel. "I think I will travelfarther on by myself, and seek my fortune."

  "Well, I'm sorry to see you go," said the monkey. "And here is fifty centsfor your work. I hope you have good luck."

  And then Uncle Wiggily started off again, over the fields and through thewoods, seeking his fortune, while the monkey got ready to move his show tothe next town.

  Well, for some time nothing happened to the old gentleman rabbit. Hewalked on and on, and once he saw a little red ant, trying to drag a pieceof cake home for dinner. The cake was so big that the ant was having adreadful time with it, but Uncle Wiggily took his left ear, and justbrushed that cake into the ant's house as easily as anything.

  "My, how strong and brave you are," cried the little red ant. "Won't youlet me get you a glass of water?"

  "I would like it," said the rabbit, "for it is quite warm to-day."

  Well, that ant got Uncle Wiggily a glass of water, but you know how itis--an ant's glass is so very small that it only holds as much water asyou could put on the point of a pin, and really, I'm not exaggerating abit, when I say that Uncle Wiggily drank seventeen thousand four hundredand twenty-six and a half ant-glasses of water before he had enough. Ittook all the ants for a mile around to bring the water to him, but theydidn't mind, because they liked him.

  Then the old gentleman rabbit traveled on again, and when it came night heslept under a haystack.

  "I am sure I'll find my fortune to-day," thought Uncle Wiggily as he gotup and brushed the hay seed out of his ears the next morning.

  It was a bright, beautiful day, and he hadn't gone very far before heheard some fine music.

  "My, there must be a hand-organ around here," he said to himself. "Andperhaps there is another monkey. I'll watch out."

  So he stood on his hind legs, Uncle Wiggily did, and the music playedlouder, and all of a sudden the rabbit looked down the road, and there wasa nice circus, with the white tents, all covered with flags, and bandsplaying, and elephants squirting water through their long noses over theirbacks to wash the dust off. And lions and tigers were roaring, and thehorses were running, and the fat lady was drinking pink lemonade, and Oh!it was fine!

  "I've got fifty cents, and I guess I'll go to the circus," thought UncleWiggily, and he was just entering the big tent when he happened to see aman with a lot of red and green and yellow and pink balloons. Now, youwould have thought that man would have been happy, having so manyballoons, but he wasn't. He looked very sad, that man did, and he wasalmost crying.

  "Poor man!" thought Uncle Wiggily. "Perhaps he has no money to go in thecircus. I'll give him mine. Here is fifty cents, Mr. Man," said the oldgentleman rabbit, kindly. "Take it and go see the elephant eat peanuts."

  "Oh, that is very good of you," spoke the balloon man, "but I don't wantto go to the circus. I want to sell my balloons, but no one will buythem."

  "Why not?" asked the rabbit.

  "Oh, because there are so many other things to buy," said the man, "redpeanuts and lemonade in shells--oh, I've got that wrong, it is redlemonade, isn't it? And peanuts in shells. But no matter. What I need,"said the man, "is to get the people to listen to me--I need to make themlook at me, and when they see what fine balloons I have they'll buy some.But there are so many other things to look at that they never look towardme at all."

  "Ha! I know the very thing!" cried Uncle Wiggily. "You
ought to have someone go up in a balloon. That would surprise the people like anything.They'd be sure to look at that, and they'd all run over here and buy allyour balloons."

  "Yes, but who can I get to go up in a balloon?" asked the man.

  "I will!" cried Uncle Wiggily bravely. "Perhaps I may find my fortune upin the sky, so I'll go in a balloon."

  Well, the man thought that was fine. So he made a little basket for therabbit to sit in, and he fastened the basket to a big red balloon, andthen he took care of the rabbit's valise for him, while Uncle Wiggily gotready to go toward the clouds, taking only his crutch with him.

  When the man had everything fixed and when the rabbit was sitting in thebasket as easily as in a soft chair at home, the man cried:

  "Over here! Over here, everybody! Over here, people! A rabbit is going upin a balloon! A most wonderful sight! Over here!"

  And then the man let go of the balloon, and Uncle Wiggily shot right uptoward the sky, only, of course, the man had a string fast to the balloonto pull it down again. Up and up went the balloon carrying Uncle Wiggily.Up and up!

  And my! how surprised the people were. They rushed over and bought so manyballoons that the man couldn't take in the money fast enough. And UncleWiggily stayed up there, high in the air, looking for his fortune.

  And then, all of a sudden, a bad boy, with a bean shooter, shot at theballoon, and "bang!" it burst, with a big hole in it. Down came UncleWiggily, head over heels, bursted balloon, basket, crutch and all.

  "Oh, he'll be killed! He'll be killed!" cried all the people.

  "No, he'll not! We'll save him!" cried Dickie and Nellie Chip-Chip, theboy and girl sparrow, who happened to be at the circus. "We'll save UncleWiggily!"

  So up into the air they flew, and before Uncle Wiggily could fall to theground Dickie and Nellie grabbed the basket in their bills, and, byfluttering their wings, they let it come very gently to earth just like afeather falling, and the rabbit wasn't hurt a bit. But, of course, theballoon was broken.

  So that's how Uncle Wiggily went up in a balloon and came down again, buthe hadn't yet found his fortune. And now in the next story, if our fireshovel doesn't go out to play in the sand pile, and get its ears full ofdirt, I'll tell you about Uncle Wiggily in an automobile.

  STORY XIII

  UNCLE WIGGILY IN AN AUTO

  Well, after Uncle Wiggily had been saved from the falling balloon byDickie and Nellie Chip-Chip, the sparrow children, the people were soexcited that they wanted the bad boy arrested for making a hole in theballoon with his bean-shooter.

  "No, let him go," said the rabbit gentleman, kindly. "I'm sure he won't doit again." And do you know, that boy never did. It was a good lesson tohim.

  Then the people bought all the balloons, until the man had none left, andI guess if he could have sent for forty-'leven more he would have soldthem also.

  "I will pay you good wages to stay with me, and go up in a balloon everyday," said the man to the rabbit. "You would help me do lots of business."

  "No," said Uncle Wiggily. "I must travel on and seek my fortune. I didn'tfind it up in the air."

  But before the old gentleman rabbit traveled on, he went into the circuswith Dickie and Nellie. For they had an extra ticket that Bully the frogwas going to use, only Bully went in swimming and caught cold, and had tostay home. So Uncle Wiggily enjoyed the show very much in his place.

  "Give my love to Sammie and Susie Littletail and to all my friends," saidthe rabbit, as he took his crutch and valise, after the circus was over,and started to travel on, looking for his fortune.

  Well, the first place he came to that day was an old hollow stump, and onthe door was a card which read:

  COME IN.

  "Ha! Come in; eh?" said Uncle Wiggily. "I guess not much! You can't foolme again. There is a bad bear, or a savage owl inside that stump, and theywant to eat me. I'll just stay outside."

  He was just hurrying past, when the door of the stump-house opened, and anold grandfather fox stuck out his head. This fox was almost blind, and hehad no teeth, and he had no claws, and his tail was just like a lastyear's dusting brush, that the moths have eaten most up, and altogetherthat fox was so old and feeble that he couldn't have hurt a mosquito. SoUncle Wiggily wasn't a bit afraid of him.

  "I say, is there anything good to eat out there?" asked the fox, lookingover the tops of his spectacles at the rabbit. "Anything nice and juicy toeat?"

  "Yes, I am good to eat," said Uncle Wiggily, "but you are not going to eatme. Good-by!"

  "Hold on!" cried the old fox, "don't be afraid. I can only eat soup, for Ihave no teeth to chew with, so unless you are soup you are of no use tome."

  "Well, I'm not soup, but I know how to make some," replied the rabbit, forhe felt sorry for the grandfather fox.

  So what do you think our Uncle Wiggily did? Why, he went into the fox'sstump-house and made a big pot full of the finest kind of soup, and therabbit and the fox ate it all up, and, because the fox had no teeth orclaws, he couldn't hurt his visitor.

  "I wish you would stay with me forever," said the old fox, as he blinkedhis eyes at Uncle Wiggily. "I have a young and strong grandson coming homesoon, and you might show him how to make soup."

  "No, thank you," replied the rabbit. "I'm afraid that young and stronggrandson of yours would want to eat me instead of the soup, I guess I'lltravel on." So the old gentleman rabbit took his crutch and valise andtraveled on.

  Well, pretty soon, it began to get dark, and Uncle Wiggily knew night wascoming on. And he wondered where he could stay, for he didn't see anyhaystacks to sleep under. He was thinking that he'd have to dig a burrowin the ground for himself, and he was looking for a soft place to begin,when, all at once, he heard a loud "Honk-Honk!" back of him in the road.

  "Ha, an automobile is coming!" said Uncle Wiggily. "I must get out of theway!" So he hopped on ahead, going down the road quite fast, until he gotto a place where there were prickly briar bushes on both sides of thehighway.

  "My! I'll have to keep in the middle of the road if I don't want to getscratched," said the rabbit. And then the automobile horn behind himhonked louder than ever.

  "They are certainly coming along fast," thought Uncle Wiggily. "If I don'tlook out I'll be run over." So he hopped along quicker than before, until,all of a sudden, as he looked down the road, he saw a savage dog standingthere.

  "Well, now! Isn't that just my bad luck!" cried Uncle Wiggily. "If I go onthe dog will catch me, and if I stand here the auto will run on top of me.I just guess I'll run back and see if there is a hole where I can crawlthrough the bushes."

  So he started to run back, but, no sooner had he done so, than the dog sawhim, and came rushing at him with a loud, "Bow-wow-wow! Bow-wow-wow!"

  "My, but he's savage!" thought the rabbit. "I wonder if I can get away intime?"

  And then the auto honked louder than before, and all of a sudden it camewhizzing down the road, right toward the rabbit.

  "Oh, dear; I'm going to be caught, sure!" cried Uncle Wiggily, and indeedit did look so, for there was the dog running from one direction, and theauto coming in the other, and prickly briar bushes were on both sides ofthe road, and Uncle Wiggily couldn't crawl through them without pullingall the fur off his back, and his ears, too.

  "Honk-Honk!" went the auto.

  "Bow-wow!" went the dog.

  "Oh, dear!" cried Uncle Wiggily. Then he thought of a plan. "I'll give abig run and a long jump and maybe I can jump over the auto, and then theauto will bump into the dog, and I will be safe!" he cried.

  So he took a long run, and just as the auto was going to hit him, UncleWiggily gave a big jump, right up into the air. He didn't jump quitequickly enough, however, for one of the big rubber tires ran over his toe,but he wasn't much hurt. And what do you think he did? Why, he landedright in the auto, on the seat beside a little boy.

  And that dog was so frightened of the automobile that he howled andyowled, and his teeth chattered, and he tucked his tail between his legs,and ra
n home.

  "Oh, the bunny! The bunny!" cried the little boy, as he saw Uncle Wiggly."May we keep him, papa?"

  "I guess so," said the boy's papa. "Anyhow his foot is hurt, and we'lltake care of him until it gets well. My, but he is a good jumper, though!"

  So the man stopped the auto, and picked up Uncle Wiggily's crutch andvalise, which the old gentleman rabbit had dropped when he jumped upon theseat beside the boy, and then the car went on. And Uncle Wiggily wasn't abit frightened at being in an auto, for he knew the boy and man would bekind to him.

  "Perhaps I shall find my fortune now," the rabbit gentleman said. And thelittle boy patted him on the back, and stroked his long ears.

  Now, in the story after this I'll tell you what happened to Uncle Wiggilyat the little boy's house, and in case our door key doesn't get lockedout, and have to sleep in the park, you are going to hear about UncleWiggily in a boat.

  STORY XIV

  UNCLE WIGGILY IN A BOAT

  "Poor rabbit!" exclaimed the little boy in the automobile, as he rubbedUncle Wiggily's ears. "I wonder if his foot is much hurt, papa?"

  "I don't know," answered the man, as he steered the machine down the road."I'll have the doctor look at it."

  "Oh, indeed, it isn't hurt much," spoke up Uncle Wiggily. "The rubber tirewas soft, you see. But my rheumatism is much worse on account of runningso fast."

  "What's this? Well, of all things! This rabbit can talk!" cried the man insurprise.