Uncle Wiggily's Adventures

by Howard Roger Garis

  "Who is down there?"

  "I'm a burglar-fox!" was the answer. "I'm coming to rob you."

  "Oh, my!" cried Mrs. Goat, when she heard that. "Get a gun, and shoot him,Mr. Goat."

  And at that Billie and Nannie began to cry, for they were afraid ofburglars, and Uncle Butter got up, and began looking for a whistle, withwhich to call a policeman dog, but he couldn't find it.

  Then the burglar-fox started in breaking down the door, so that he couldget in, and still Mr. Goat couldn't find his gun.

  "Oh, we'll all be killed!" cried Mrs. Goat. "Oh, if some one would onlyhelp us!"

  "Ha! I will help you!" cried Uncle Wiggily jumping out of bed. "I'll scarethat fox so that he'll run away."

  "But I can't find my gun," said Mr. Goat.

  "No matter," answered the brave rabbit. "I can scare him with a paperlantern such as Nannie can make. Quick, Nannie, make me a big paperlantern."

  Well, the little goat girl stopped crying then, and she got her paper, andher scissors, and the paste pot, and she began to make a paper lantern, asbig as a water pail. Uncle Wiggily and Billie helped her. And all thewhile the burglar-fox was banging on the door, and crying out:

  "Let me in! Let me in!"

  "Quick! is the lantern ready?" Asked Uncle Wiggily, jumping around in acircle like "Ring Around the Rosie."

  "Here it is," said Nannie. So the rabbit gentleman took it, all nicelymade as it was, and inside of it he put a hot, blazing candle. And thelantern was so big that the candle didn't burn the sides of the paper.

  Then Uncle Wiggily tied the lantern to a string, and he lowered it rightdown out of the window; down in front of the burglar-fox, and the hotcandle in the lantern burned the fox's nose, and he thought it was apoliceman climbing down out of a tree to catch him, and before you couldcount forty-'leven the bad burglar-fox ran away, and so he didn't rob thegoats after all. And, oh! how thankful Nannie and Billie and their papaand mamma were to Uncle Wiggily.

  Now, in case the little boy next door doesn't take our clothes line, tomake a swing for his puppy dog, I'll tell you about Uncle Wiggily and thepaper house in the following story.

  STORY XX

  UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE PAPER HOUSE

  Bright and early next morning Uncle Wiggily got up, and he took a carefullook around to see if there were any signs of the burglar-fox, about whomI told you in another story.

  "I guess he's far enough off by this time," said Billie Goat, as hepolished his horns with a green leaf.

  "Yes, indeed," spoke Uncle Wiggily. "It is a good thing that Nannie knewhow to make a paper lantern."

  "Oh, I can make lots of things out of paper," said the little goat girl."Our teacher in school shows us how. Why I can even make a paper house."

  "Can you, indeed?" asked the old gentleman rabbit, as he washed his pawsand face for breakfast. "Now I should dearly like to know how to make apaper house."

  "Why?" asked Billie Goat, curious like.

  "So that when I am traveling about, looking for my fortune, and nightcomes on, and I have no place to stay, then I could make me a paper house,and be all nice and dry in case it rained," replied the rabbit.

  "Oh, but the water would soon soak through the paper," said Billie. "Iknow, for once I made a paper boat, and sailed it on the pond, and soon itwas soaked through, and sank away down."

  "Oh, but if I use that funny, greasy paper which comes inside crackerboxes--the kind with wax on it--that wouldn't wet through," spoke therabbit as he went inside the goat-house with the children, for Mrs. Goathad called them in to breakfast.

  "That would be just fine!" exclaimed Nannie, as she passed some applesauce and oatmeal to Uncle Wiggily. "After breakfast I'll show you how tomake a paper house."

  Well, surely enough, as soon as breakfast was over, and before she andBillie had gone to school, Nannie showed the old gentleman rabbit how tomake a paper house. You take some paper and some scissors, and you cut outthe sides of the house and the roof, and you make windows and doors inthese sides, and then you make a chimney, and you fasten them alltogether, with paste or glue, and, there you are. Isn't it easy?

  And if you only make the paper house large enough, you can get inside ofit and have a play party, and perhaps you can make paper dishes and knivesand forks; but listen! If you make paper things to eat, like cake orcookies or anything like that, please only make-believe to eat them, forthey are bad for the digestion if you _really_ chew them.

  "Well, I think I'll travel along now, and once more seek my fortune," saidUncle Wiggily, when Billie and Nannie were ready to go to school. So Mrs.Goat packed up for the rabbit a nice lunch in his valise, and Nannie gavehim some waxed paper, that the rain wouldn't melt, and Billie gave hisuncle a pair of scissors, and off Mr. Longears started.

  Well, he traveled on and on, over the fields and through the woods, andacross little brooks, and pretty soon it was coming on dark night, and therabbit gentleman hadn't found his fortune.

  "Now I wonder where I can stay to-night?" thought Uncle Wiggily, as helooked about him. He could see nothing but an old stump, which was nothollow, so he couldn't get inside of it, and the only other thing thathappened to be there was a flat stone, and he couldn't get under that.

  "I guess I must make me a paper house," said the old gentleman rabbit."Then I can sleep in it in peace and quietness, and I'll travel on againin the morning."

  So he got out the waxed paper, and he took the scissors, and, sitting downon the green grass, he cut out the sides and roof of the paper house. Thenhe made the chimney, and put it on the roof, and then he fastened thehouse together, and crawled inside, with his valise and his barber-polecrutch.

  "I guess I won't make too many windows or doors," thought Uncle Wiggily,"for a savage bear or a burglar-fox might come along in the night, and tryto get in."

  So he only made one door, and one window in the house. But he made alittle fireplace out of stones, and built a little fire in it, to cook hissupper. But listen, you children must never, never make a fire, unlesssome big person is near to put it out in case it happens to run away, andchases after you, to catch you. Fires are dreadfully scary things forlittle folks, so please be careful.

  Well, Uncle Wiggily cooked his supper, frying some carrots in a little tinfrying pan he had with him, and then he said his prayers, and went to bed.Soon he was fast, fast asleep.

  Well, in the middle of the night, Uncle Wiggily was awakened in his paperhouse by hearing a funny noise outside.

  "Ha! I wonder what that can be?" he exclaimed, sitting up, and reachingout for his crutch. The noise kept on, "pitter-patter;pitter-patter-patter-pitter; pat-pit-pat-pit."

  "Oh, that sounds like the toe nails of the burglar-fox, running around thehouse!" said the rabbit. Then he listened more carefully, and suddenly helaughed: "Ha! Ha!" Then he got up and looked out of the window. "Why, it'sonly the rain drops pit-pattering on the roof," he said. "Isn't it jollyto be in a house when it rains, and you can't get wet? After this everynight I'm going to always build a waxed-paper house," said Uncle Wiggily.

  So he listened to the rain drops, and he thought how nice it was not to bewet, and he went to sleep again. And pretty soon he woke up once more, forhe heard another noise. This time it was a sniffing, snooping, woofingsort of a noise, and Uncle Wiggily knew that it wasn't the rain.

  "I'm sure that's the burglar-fox," he said. "What shall I do? He can smashmy paper house with his teeth and claws, and then eat me. I should havebuilt a wooden house. But it's too late now. I know what I'll do. I'll diga cellar underneath my paper house, and I'll hide there, in case that foxsmashes the roof."

  So Uncle Wiggily got up very softly, and right in the middle of the dirtfloor of his paper house he began to burrow down to dig a cellar. My, howhis paws made the sand and gravel fly, and soon he had dug quite a largecellar, in which to hide.

  And all this time the sniffing, snooping sound kept on, until, all of asudden a voice cried:

  "Let me in!"

  "Who are you?"
asked Uncle Wiggily.

  "I'm the bad alligator," was the answer, "and if you don't let me in, I'llsmash down your paper house with one swoop of my scalery-ailery tail."

  "You can't come in!" cried the rabbit, and then that bad alligator gaveone swoop of his tail, and smashed Uncle Wiggily's nice paper house all topieces!

  But do you s'pose the rabbit was there? No, indeed. He just grabbed up hiscrutch and valise, and ran down into his cellar as far and as fast as hecould run, just as the roof fell in. And the cellar wasn't big enough forthe alligator to get in, and so he had to stay outside, and he couldn'tget Uncle Wiggily.

  And then it rained, and thundered and lightninged, and the alligator gotscared, and ran off, but the rabbit gentleman was safe down in his cellar,and he didn't get a bit wet, and went to sleep there for the rest of thenight. Now, please go to bed, and in case my toothbrush, doesn't go outroller skating, and fall down and get bald-headed, I'll tell you nextabout Uncle Wiggily and the paper boat.

  STORY XXI

  UNCLE WIGGILY IN A PAPER BOAT

  When the morning dawned, after he had slept all night in the cellar underhis paper house, that the alligator, with his swooping scalery-ailerytail, had knocked down, Uncle Wiggily awakened, brushed the dirt from hisears, and crawled out.

  "My!" he exclaimed as he saw the paper house all flat on the ground, likea pancake, "Nannie Goat would certainly be sorry to see this. But Isuppose it can't be helped. Anyhow, it's a good thing that I am notsquashed as flat as that house is. Now I'll see about my breakfast, andthen I'll travel on again."

  So the old gentleman rabbit got his breakfast, eating almost the lastpiece of the cherry pie, which he had left from the time when he made somefor the hedgehog, and then, taking his crutch, striped red, white andblue, like a barber pole, off he started.

  Well, pretty soon, in a little while, not so very long, Uncle Wiggilycame to a pond of water, and, looking down into it, he saw the mostbeautiful goldfish that you can imagine. It was a big fish, too, and thescales on it were as round as gold dollars.

  "My!" exclaimed the rabbit. "If I had that fish, and I could take him to ajewelry shop, and sell him, I would get so much money that my fortunewould be made, and I wouldn't have to travel any farther. But I guess thefish would rather stay in the pond than in a jewelry shop."

  "Indeed, I would," answered the fish, looking up. "And I am glad you areso kind as to be thoughtful of my feelings. Perhaps I may be able to helpyou, some day."

  And with that the fish dived away down under the water, after callinggood-bye to the rabbit, and then Uncle Wiggily hopped on, and he didn'tthink any more about the goldfish, until some time after that.

  Well, as soon as the elephant had his trunk packed--Oh, hold on, if youplease. I wonder what's the matter with me? There's no elephant in thisstory. He comes in it about five pages farther on.

  Well, after traveling for several hours, Uncle Wiggily ate his dinner,then he hopped on some more, and he looked all around for his fortune, buthe couldn't find it. Then it began to get dark, and he wondered where hecould stay that night.

  "I might build a paper house," he said, "but if I do the alligator mightcome along and smash it, and this time he would probably catch me. Iwonder what I'd better do?"

  So he looked ahead, and there he saw a stream of water. It was quite awide brook, but on the other side of it he saw a nice little wooden house,that no one lived in.

  "Now, if I could only get over there I'd be safe," said the old gentlemanrabbit. "I guess I'll wade across."

  Well, he started to do so, but he soon found that the water was too deepfor him to wade. It was over his head.

  "I'll have to swim across," said Uncle Wiggily.

  But, as soon as he got ready to do that, he found himself in more trouble.For he couldn't carry his crutch and valise across with him if he swam,and he didn't like to leave them on the shore, for fear the alligatorwould get them.

  "Oh, I certainly am in great trouble," said the rabbit. "It's gettingdarker and darker, and I have no place to stay. I haven't even any paperwith which to make me a paper house, but if I could only get across to thewooden house, I'd be safe."

  And, just as he spoke, there came a little puff of wind, and lo andbehold! a nice piece of paper was blown right down out of a tree, where ithad been caught on a branch. Right at Uncle Wiggily's side it fell; thatpaper did.

  "Oh, joy!" the rabbit gentleman cried. "Here is paper to make me a housewith." But when he looked more closely at it, he saw that it wasn't bigenough for a house, and it wasn't the kind of paper that would keep outthe rain, either.

  "That will never do," said Uncle Wiggily, sadly. "Ah! But I have an idea.I will make me a paper boat, as Billie Goat once did, and in the boat I'llsail across the stream, and sleep in the little wooden house."

  So he folded up the paper, first like a soldier's hat, and then like afireman's hat, and then he pulled on the two ends, and, presto change! hehad a paper boat. Then he took his crutch, and stuck it up in the middleof the boat, and put a piece of paper on the crutch, and he had a sail.Then he put the boat in the water, and got in it himself. I mean he got inthe boat, not the water--with his valise.

  "Here we go!" cried the old gentleman rabbit, and he shoved the boat outfrom the shore. The wind caught in the little paper sail, and away UncleWiggily went, as fine as fine could be.

  "I'll soon be on the other shore," he said, and just then he looked down,and he saw some water coming inside the boat. "Hum! That's bad," he cried."I'm afraid my boat is leaking."

  The wind blew harder, and the boat went faster, but more water came in,for you see the paper was sort of melting, and falling apart, like an icecream cone, for it wasn't the waxed kind of paper from the inside ofcracker boxes--the kind that water won't hurt.

  Well, the boat began to sink, and the water came up to Uncle Wiggily'sknees, and then, all of a sudden there was a funny sound on shore, asnipping snooping woofing-woofing sound, and into the water jumped thealligator with the skiller-scalery, swooping tail.

  "Now I've got you!" he cried, snapping his jaws at the poor old gentlemanrabbit. And really it did seem as if Uncle Wiggily would be eaten up. Butyou never can tell what is going to happen in this world; never indeed.

  All of a sudden, just as the paper boat was melting all to pieces, andUncle Wiggily was trying, as best he could, to swim to shore with hiscrutch and valise, and just as the alligator was going to grab him, alongcame the big, kind goldfish.

  "Jump on my back, Uncle Wiggily!" cried the fish, and the rabbit did so,in the twinkling of an eye. And before the alligator could grab UncleWiggily, the goldfish swam to shore with him, and he was safe. And thealligator got some soap in his eye, from washing his face too hard, andwent sloshing away as mad as could be, but it served him right. And UncleWiggily slept safely in the wooden house all night, and dreamed aboutfinding a gold dollar.

  Now in case the banana man brings me some pink oranges for the elephant'slittle boy, I'll tell you in another story about Uncle Wiggily and the mudpie.[Transcriber's Note: in the above sentence, the word "tell" wasomitted in the original text.]

  STORY XXII

  UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE MUD PIE

  Uncle Wiggily slept very soundly that night in the little wooden house,across on the other side of the brook, where the alligator tried to catchhim, but didn't. And when he awakened in the morning the rabbit travelerwondered what he was going to have for breakfast. But he didn't wondervery long.

  For, as soon as he had gotten up, and had washed his paws and face, andcombed out his ears--oh, dear me--I mean his whiskers--as soon as he haddone that, he heard a knock on the door.

  "Oh, my, suz dud and a bottle of milk!" exclaimed the old gentlemanrabbit. "I hope that isn't the scary-flary alligator again."

  So he peeped out of the window, but to his surprise, he didn't see anyone.

  "I'm sure I heard a knock," he said, "but I guess I was mistaken."

  Well, he was going over to his valise to see
if it had in it anything toeat, when the knock again sounded on the door.

  "No, I wasn't mistaken," said Uncle Wiggily. "I wonder who that can be?I'll peep, and find out."

  So he hid behind the window curtain, and kept a close watch, and the firstthings he saw were some little stones flying through the air. And they hitagainst the front door with a rattlety-bang, and it was these stones thathad made the sound that was like a knock.

  "Oh! it must be some bad boys after me," thought the poor old gentlemanrabbit. "My! I do seem to be having a dreadful time seeking my fortune.There is always some kind of trouble."

  And then more stones came through the air, and banged on the door and thistime Uncle Wiggily saw that they came from the stream, and, what is more,he saw the goldfish throwing the stones and pebbles out of the brook withhis tail. Then the rabbit knew it was all right, for the goldfish was afriend of his, so he ran out.

  "Were you throwing stones at the house?" asked Uncle Wiggily.

  "Yes," replied the fish, "it was the only way in which I could knock onyour door. You see I dare not leave the water, and I wanted you to knowthat I had some breakfast for you."

  And with that the kind goldfish took a little basket, made of watercress,from off his left front fin, and handed Uncle Wiggily the basket, not hisfin, for he needed that to swim with.

  "You'll find some cabbage-salad with snorkery-snickery ell-grass dressingon it, some water-lily cake, and some moss covered eggs for yourbreakfast," said the fish. "And I wish you good luck on your travelsto-day."