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Summer At Willow Tree Farm: the perfect romantic escape for your summer holiday

Page 30

by Heidi Rice


  ‘Don’t. There isn’t much that gets past me. I don’t sleep well since…’ She paused, letting Ellie fill in the gap.

  ‘Since Pam died.’ Ellie reached across the table to squeeze her mother’s hand. ‘You don’t need to feel uncomfortable about saying that, Mum.’

  ‘I don’t,’ Dee said. ‘I just don’t want to burden you with all that.’ Her smile was sad and somehow pensive. ‘A bit like you didn’t want to burden me with your love affair with Art.’

  ‘It’s not a love affair.’ The pang of regret sharpened under her heart. ‘It’s a sex-for-the-sake-of-it affair.’ She sniffed back another pointless tear. ‘And anyway, it’s over. We decided it wasn’t going to work with my husband sleeping in the room between us. A bit too awkward.’ Or at least she had decided that.

  ‘Those were an awful lot of tears to mark the end of a sex-for-the-sake-of-it affair.’

  ‘That’s not what the tears were about.’ Ellie toyed with the slice of sticky toffee, peeled off one of the caramelised almonds and put it in her mouth. The rich burnt sugar tasted like chalk.

  ‘Are you sure?’ her mother asked.

  The question made Ellie’s hand tremble. She took it off the table and tucked it into her lap.

  ‘Yes, of course,’ she said, a bit too adamantly to be convincing. ‘I’m just tired and uber stressed what with the wedding and now Dan.’

  She frowned at the scarred wood of the tabletop, knowing that those weren’t the reasons she suddenly felt so crushed and fragile. How ridiculous. What exactly had she been expecting Art to say this evening?

  *

  Arthur, why are you such a dope?

  ‘So your sex-for-the-sake-of-it affair is definitely over then?’ Dee said, trying to quell the urge to march up to the caravan on the rise and give the man himself a good talking-to.

  Ellie nodded, the movement so dejected Dee’s stomach hurt. She had always hated to see her daughter unhappy. But seeing her broken like this felt so desperately unfair, because it undermined everything Ellie had achieved this summer.

  Her daughter had worked so hard to turn herself around. It had been a pleasure, no, an honour, to see how much she’d changed over the last weeks and months from that fragile, insecure, weary woman who had walked into this kitchen in June. But, in the last fortnight, she had seen Ellie truly blossom. And she’d known Art was responsible for that. He was a good man, a steady, responsible, hard-working man, but more than that he was the sort of man her daughter deserved. Handsome on the inside as well as the outside, unlike the shallow entitled young fool who had arrived this afternoon, who clearly believed that all he had to do was flash a pretty smile and he would get anything he desired.

  But, unfortunately, Arthur was and always had been his own worst enemy. His fear of rejection so huge he would turn away the best thing ever to happen to him rather than admit his feelings. But as much as Dee might want to, she couldn’t alter that. All she could do was make sure that Ellie didn’t let Art’s foolishness undermine the woman she’d become over this summer.

  Her daughter had some important decisions to make now that her husband had appeared so unexpectedly – and Dee wanted to give her every chance of making the right one. Not just for her, but for Josh too.

  ‘You know what’s really ironic?’ Ellie sniffed, and took another sip of her chamomile tea. ‘I thought I loved Art that summer nineteen years ago.’ Her lips tipped up in a watery smile. ‘At least this time I didn’t humiliate myself beyond belief and fall down that rabbit hole all over again.’ Her gaze rose from the cake platter to meet Dee’s.

  ‘I always suspected that you had a crush on Arthur that summer,’ Dee said. ‘But you do know, he had one on you too?’

  And if Art had become an expert at disguising his feelings before he’d ever met Ellie, Ellie had learned to do the same in the years since that summer. Which might explain why now they both had no idea how deep those feelings went for each other.

  Ellie sent her mother a weary smile that almost broke Dee’s heart. ‘Um, no, he didn’t, Mum. He made that pretty clear at the time.’

  So this was the incident Art had referred to the night of the back barn clear-out. The incident that both he and Ellie believed had sent her running away from the commune and back to her father.

  Dee tried to smile back. ‘He may well have said that at the time. He may well even have believed it, but that’s because Arthur is exceptionally good at hiding how he really feels, from himself most of all.’

  ‘Mum.’ Ellie sighed, still looking sceptical and unimpressed. ‘I know you’re Art’s biggest fan. And after getting to know him a lot better this summer, I know why. I always wanted to believe he was an arsehole. Because I was still stupidly embarrassed about that rejection. But I know now he’s not. He’s hard-working, dependable and he’s survived a lot in his life. His bitch of a mother just for starters.’

  So Art had spoken to Ellie about Laura’s neglect; Dee took heart at the news. Maybe he wasn’t a completely hopeless case after all.

  ‘He’s also a great father to Toto. A much better father than Dan has ever been to Josh that’s for sure,’ she added. And Dee wondered if Ellie could hear the admiration in her own voice. Did her daughter know she was falling for Art all over again? ‘But if you think he’s been holding a candle for me all this time, believe me he hasn’t. What we had this summer… Briefly.’ Colour washed into Ellie’s cheeks, making Dee realise how far they’d come in the last three months, but still how far they had to go. ‘Was basically just an explosion of pheromones, for both of us. I’m not going back to Orchard Harbor with any regrets about that though. If that’s what you’re worried about.’

  ‘Why were you so upset then, a minute ago?’ Dee asked, deciding that they’d beaten about this particular bush long enough.

  Ellie shrugged, but the gesture looked about as nonchalant as the red streaks on her face left by the crying jag. ‘Honestly, I think that’s just the stress of having Dan here. And feeling like a bit of an idiot, for thinking that…’ But then Ellie paused.

  ‘For thinking what?’ Dee prompted.

  ‘God, I feel stupid even thinking it, let alone saying it. Could we just let this drop now.’ She picked up her tea and took a long sip. ‘I need to get to bed, if I’m going to sort out getting Dan into a hotel tomorrow.’

  Dee knew she should probably let it drop. And, up to twenty minutes ago, she would have done, believing that no matter how close they’d become in the last few months, she would never earn the right back to give her daughter unsolicited advice. But this moment felt like a crossroads, a chance to finally take that last step towards becoming a mother again. And to take it, she would have to wade through all the please-back-off vibes Ellie was sending her.

  ‘OK, but can I just say something first?’

  Ellie’s lips pursed and for a moment Dee thought she was going to regret the request, but then she sighed and sat back. ‘All right, Mum.’

  It was a qualified yes, at best. But Dee planned to run with it.

  ‘Don’t underestimate Arthur’s feelings for you. Not then and certainly not now. He’s spent a great deal of his life protecting himself from hurt. Which makes him a very hard man to get to know. But, from what you’ve just told me, you do know him.’

  ‘OK,’ Ellie said, her face wearing the expression Dee had come to adore in the last few months whenever Ellie had a problem that she was determined to solve.

  ‘And don’t underestimate yourself either. You’re a strong, intelligent, extremely capable woman. Trust your own judgement, it’s much better than you think.’

  Ellie smiled, but the sadness still lurked in her eyes. ‘I’m not so sure about that. I’ve made a lot more than one disastrous decision in my life. Just for starters, I spent twelve years married to a man that I’m not sure I ever really loved.’

  ‘Which you’re about to correct,’ Dee said. ‘We all make disastrous decisions in life, Ellie, for all sorts of reasons, some of them outsi
de our control. Ultimately though, if we learn from them, they don’t become disastrous any more, they become the stuff that makes us stronger, better people. I made a mistake bringing you here and then not supporting you as much as I should, not seeing how confused you were, because I was too busy falling in love.’

  ‘Mum, don’t blame yourself about that any longer, I…’

  ‘Shhh, what I’m trying to say isn’t about blame, or regrets, sweetheart. It’s about owning that mistake and knowing that the good thing to come out of that summer was that although I lost you, I had Pam. And eventually I had Arthur too. And I finally escaped from a disastrous marriage.’ She picked up Ellie’s hands and held on to them, tears filling her eyes. ‘Don’t you see, Ellie, the reason you left that summer wasn’t just because Art was an idiot, or even because of all the mistakes I made, but because you were much stronger and more self-sufficient than you thought. You didn’t make a mistake, you made a choice. A reckless choice maybe, you were only fourteen after all, but also a brave choice. I have complete faith that when you decide what to do with your life and Josh’s life at the end of this summer, your choice will be equally brave and whatever it is, it’ll be the right one for you.’

  Dee could see the blank shock on her daughter’s face as she finished her speech. And also the confusion and doubt that had been there before. But underneath all that was also the spark of intelligence.

  Ellie had been knocked sideways by Dan’s arrival and the abrupt end of her affair with Art. But now she was thinking again, making plans.

  Now all Dee could do was hope that Arthur took his head out from up his backside, and Dan Granger didn’t turn out to be a complete bastard.

  But, even if Art didn’t, and Dan did, she knew Ellie would navigate her way through the fallout. After all, she’d managed to do that nineteen years ago, without her mother’s help. And this time she would have her mother standing right beside her whatever she decided to do. And she knew it.

  My work here is done.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  ‘Hey, Ellie?’

  Ellie looked up from her laptop, pausing in her data entry for the week’s takings at the shop, to find Toto standing in the office doorway.

  After four days of intensive wedding planning, she was exhausted and behind on every task. She didn’t need the interruption. But Toto looked unhappy, and she knew why. Her father had been using her as a go-between ever since Dan’s arrival.

  ‘What’s up, Toto?’

  ‘Dad says he’s towed the caravan to the wild meadow behind Jacob and Maddy’s place, so it’s ready for you and Tess and Annie when you want to decorate it.’

  The mention of the caravan made the gaping hole in Ellie’s stomach, which had resolutely refused to close up since Sunday, feel even bigger, but she ignored it. Art and she had been avoiding each other since that night, they’d spoken exactly twice. But she didn’t have time to feel sad or stressed about that, she had a wedding to stress over instead.

  ‘Thanks, Toto. Tell him that’s terrific and we all really appreciate it,’ she said, forcing magnanimity into her voice.

  It had been Annie’s idea to use the caravan for Jacob and Maddy’s wedding night, because Maddy’s parents would be staying in their cabin.

  It would have been a great idea, if Art wasn’t using the thing to sleep in at the moment. Art hadn’t returned to the farmhouse, even though Dan had moved into a hotel after that first night, at Ellie’s insistence. She wasn’t sure if Art’s absence from the farmhouse had anything to do with their bust-up, or simply because he was running scared from all the wedding prep. But, either way, she hadn’t wanted to have a conversation with Art about lending the caravan to Jacob and Maddy, just the thought of that conversation making her feel raw. So she’d made up some excuse as to why Annie should ask him.

  That he had agreed to loan it out meant he was without an extra bedroom until after the wedding now, but she wasn’t going to worry about where he planned to sleep tonight. Or for the next three nights. It was none of her business. If he decided to sleep back in the house, great. She’d take a sleeping pill and pretend he wasn’t there. How hard could it be?

  ‘How did the first day of school go?’ she asked Toto, because the child was still hovering.

  The poor kid looked harassed. Had Art been as surly with his daughter in the last four days as he’d been with her? She hoped not. But there wasn’t a lot she could do about it. Trying to decipher Art and his moods had always given her a headache.

  He couldn’t be angry about Dan’s turning up, because he didn’t care enough about her to be jealous. And anyway there was nothing to be jealous of. She’d finally contacted a lawyer, who would be serving Dan with papers as soon as he returned to Orchard Harbor. Which she hoped would be sooner rather than later. She didn’t want her whole final three weeks here soured by Dan’s presence. She’d have enough time to deal with him when she and Josh got back to the US.

  ‘All right, we did algebra though, which was pants,’ Toto said. ‘Miss Morely asked after Josh and so did Frankie Bradford. I think they missed him.’

  The quietly spoken observation had guilt pressing in on Ellie.

  Miss Morely and Frankie Bradford weren’t the only ones who had been missing Josh in the last four days. The plan for Josh to go to school with Toto had been nixed by Dan who had wanted to spend some time with the son he’d been ‘missing like crazy’ for the last three months. Josh had seemed eager to spend time with his dad and Ellie had been pleased that at least Dan seemed focused on his son and not the impossibility of resurrecting their marriage, so she’d been happy to sanction the daily trips Dan had arranged, to go to the movies in Salisbury, or go to a soccer match in Swindon, or today’s excursion to Stonehenge. But she knew Toto had missed her best friend terribly.

  Ellie had tried not to worry about that too much. Toto and Josh would be separated soon anyway, so they would both have to get used to it. And Ellie couldn’t do any more about Toto’s unhappiness than she could do about her own. But if Toto had ended up on the sharp end of her father’s temper as well as losing Josh’s companionship through no fault of her own, that seemed grossly unfair.

  Toto ducked her head. ‘Do you know when Josh is coming back from Stonehenge?’

  ‘I think he’s staying at his dad’s hotel tonight in Gratesbury,’ she said. ‘But he’ll have to be back all day on Saturday for the wedding.’

  Maddy had asked Josh and Toto to be wedding attendants. Josh had been overjoyed at the prospect, before Dan had arrived. She hoped he hadn’t gone off the idea. But, even if he had, he needed to follow through on that commitment.

  ‘But Saturday’s two days away.’ Toto looked even more dejected as she turned to go. ‘I wish his dad hadn’t come to visit now.’

  You and me both.

  ‘Don’t worry, he won’t be staying much longer.’ Surely Dan would leave after the wedding? She’d told him they were coming back to Orchard Harbor at the end of September, she refused to change her plans just for him. Or for Art, who probably wanted her to leave sooner rather than later now too.

  Well, they could both bog off. She’d done enough to keep them both happy. She was making the choice to go back on her terms, which meant staying till the end of September as she’d originally planned.

  And she was not going to let either one of them ruin the three weeks she had left. With her mum and her friends, and the shop.

  ‘Toto, wait.’ Ellie halted her progress, an idea forming. ‘I’m going over to Maddy and Jacob’s after we close the shop in about an hour to do some more wedding prep.’ The wedding prep that would never end. ‘Annie and Tess are meeting me there, we were going to have some supper over there, too. Why don’t you come with me?’

  It wouldn’t hurt the child to spend more time in female company. And they had about a million things to do, most of it grunt work, so an extra pair of hands would not go amiss. Also it would take Toto out of Art’s orbit. Maybe take her mind off Josh�
�s absence. And save Ellie from any probing questions from Annie and Tess and Maddy about Dan. Annie had already asked some pointed questions about what Dan was doing here if they were getting a divorce? Having Art’s impressionable teenage daughter in their midst ought to halt any more awkward questions, at least until Ellie had the energy to answer them.

  ‘What’s wedding prep?’ Toto asked, but she looked a little less dejected. Wow, she must be seriously bored.

  ‘We’ve got to finish tinting the jam jars for the tea lights. And we’re decorating the bases of the flower centrepieces Mum’s doing for the tables. It should be fun.’ Once the wine started flowing. ‘Melody will be there.’ Although she doubted Melody would be much help to anyone.

  Toto’s face screwed up, as she considered the invitation. ‘Josh is definitely going to his dad’s?’

  Toto’s request for confirmation tore at Ellie’s heart. ‘Yes, I’m sure he is.’

  ‘I guess I’ll come then,’ Toto said, not sounding overexcited at the prospect of spending an evening doing arts and crafts with a bunch of grown women. Ellie understood. She’d much rather be doing anything other than wedding prep right about now, too.

  Stop being a killjoy.

  Ellie forced a smile. ‘It’s a deal then. I’ll see you in an hour by the shop and we can walk over together.’

  Toto nodded and left.

  The false brightness died on Ellie’s face as she turned back to the data entry.

  Bloody men, how did they always manage to screw up the best laid plans of women everywhere without even trying.

  *

  ‘OK, spill it…’ Annie leant across the jam jar she was tinting red and fixed Ellie with her do-not-mess-with-me stare.

  So much for Toto being an effective deterrent. Ellie’s shield had spent less than twenty minutes painting jam jars, then got bored and headed off into the woods with Melody and Jacob to forage for more ivy for the centrepieces.

  ‘What the hell is going on with you and Art now?’ Annie finished.

 

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